Eleven

THOUGH AVA’S MOTHER DIED DURING AVA’S KINDERGARTEN YEAR, her daddy’s sermon topics stemmed from her mother’s betrayal for many years to come. Seemingly out of the blue, he’d preach messages around the unfaithful or villainous women of the Bible. At times he’d mention Leanne by name, lamenting about how his own wife had gone the way of Delilah and Jezebel. His eyes would fill with tears as he expressed how he prayed for her soul.

She’d divorced him, left them for a man who told her all about the world and promised to show it to her. She and her new boyfriend were killed in a car accident on a highway outside of Chicago. It was God’s hand of judgment, the church members murmured, as if to console Daddy.

That Daddy was flawed and full of mistakes only served to make his congregation love him more. Over half the women swooned over him, married or not, from teenagers to the elderly. Ava never questioned if he slept with any of them, at least not then. She didn’t think of such things as a child. No one accused him of it except a few disgruntled husbands.

Even after he was convicted, most people in his congregation stood by him, believing the devil had come in to destroy a wonderful man. His stiff sentence given during a time when Texas was being stricter about law enforcement was another sign of Satan’s devious plan.

He was sentenced to life, though everyone said it would be appealed or he’d one day get paroled.

Ava breathed in the October air as she sat on the bench in what she called her private Garden of Gethsemane, located behind the modern three-story church building built for Sunday school and youth events. Ava and Dane had attended this church for fifteen years, first coming because of the great children’s program and warm welcome of the congregation. Over time the closeness had been lost with the growth of the church from the hundreds into the thousands, but Ava knew that every church underwent stages of growth, decay, renewal, change, reassessment, even crisis.

Today she’d taken an hour between a leadership meeting and a private meeting with Tammy Blake, a woman she mentored in planning her first charity ball for kids with health issues. The little garden was an oasis between conversations, worries, planning, and schedules. Here she could reflect and breathe, eat her lunch with the sound of birds singing. She could pray without thinking about what she was actually saying. Her “poured out” prayers happened in solitude like this. Today, her thoughts overruled her prayers as she thought about Daddy and his sermons about Mama. Ava hadn’t thought of that in years, and she wondered why so many childhood thoughts kept returning lately.

Kayanne’s ringtone startled her. Ava picked up her phone and sighed. Carrying it to her Gethsemane had been a mistake. She’d already been tempted to text Jason and see how he was doing at home, though he was restricted from his phone. Sienna had sent a text that she needed to talk to Ava soon. And now Kayanne . . . all in a matter of ten minutes.

“Hey, can I call you back in—”

“No, listen, I found him.” Kayanne’s voice was out of breath.

“You found him? Who? Oh, as in . . . him?”

“No, him him.”

Ava rolled her eyes and dropped her fork back into her salad. She closed the plastic top. “You found him him as opposed to just him?”

“Remember how him turned out?”

“Do I ever? If you would listen to your best friend when she tells you that him is not a twenty-eight-year-old guy who does professional Celtic dancing all around the world—”

“I know, but for a few weeks, we seemed so connected. This is different, I hope.”

“Okay, who is he? Where did you meet him?”

“He’s my new match on As You Wish.”

“Hmm.”

“Did I tell you I joined As You Wish dot com?”

“No, I think you were on Dallas Singles, Marriage-in-Your-Future, and some other one.”

“Wait. I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?”

“I was in my divorce group and we were talking about friendships and how easy it becomes as a single person to become pretty self-involved. And I realized that in our friendship, sometimes all I talk about is my single life. It’s just so stressful being single after all these years.”

“I know it is, or I can imagine.”

“But you have things happening as well. Like what’s going on with Jason.”

“He won’t talk to us. He’s taking his punishment without argument, he was suspended from school, and he has all sorts of additional things he has to do for the football coach, like cleaning all the equipment.”

“But he won’t talk to you? Not Dane either?”

Ava dropped her salad container back into the bag. She cleaned everything up as a cold breeze inched beneath the edges of her clothes. She worried about leaving her son at home alone—what if he had a hidden stash of drugs in the house? Dane had searched his room and Jason had promised there weren’t any drugs there, but what if he ran away? But Ava knew she needed to keep her routine, and Jason could either come with her or remain in the house alone.

“He’s not talking to anyone, so there’s not much to say there. Now let’s get back to him him.”

“No, more about you. Dane? Sienna? You?”

Ava laughed as she walked back toward the main church, a tall, red-brick building with stained-glass windows. Ava appreciated Kayanne’s attempts to be a better friend. Since Kayanne had become single, her search for a soul mate often became all consuming. Their friendship had shifted considerably, which meant Ava was most often listening or giving advice and Kayanne sometimes neglected Ava's struggles as less important.

“I’m leaving the church after I meet Tammy. We’re going over her budget to look for a few areas to cut.”

She carried Kayanne inside the glass doors and toward the office kept available for ministry volunteers like her.

“You deserve a medal, and okay, I don’t want to be a bad friend, but I can’t wait to tell you about our first date.”

“Tell me.”

Kayanne launched into the details as Ava sat down at her computer, opening the file on event planning she used when she coordinated charity events. Ava listened, making comments and asking questions as usual.

“What?” Ava muttered as she perused her e-mail.

“Are you listening to me?”

“Yes. He sounds like a pretty nice guy. But I don’t think he’s him or him him.”

“Don’t say that yet. You’re going to jinx it.”

“Then I take it back. But are you ready for me to share my concerns?”

“No, no I am not. Let me have a few days of unchecked euphoria. Reality can be a bitter pill and I’m enjoying the moment.”

A knock sounded on the office door.

“Hey, I need to go. Tammy’s here.” She opened the door to the woman’s exuberant squeal.

“We’re down to just days until Dallas is blown away with my Children’s Charity Ball!” Tammy said, swishing into the office.

Kayanne said good-bye as Ava set aside her own cares for a while to help Tammy. It was time to focus on other people and Ava enjoyed the reprieve.