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When dinner finally ended, Emma, Louisa, and Daphne moved to the salon for tea as the men enjoyed their brandy. Emma sat nearest Louisa as Daphne wandered the room. All the while, Emma kept her ears open for the sound of the men. She’d made her plan earlier, and tonight she would receive her first kiss. Ainsley would do perfectly. He was very attentive, and she assumed he would propose soon. But she didn’t want a husband.
She wanted a kiss. It might be possible to get one if she asked Ainsley for a kiss before he proposed. She could say she wanted to be sure she desired him. Then she could reject his proposal and move on with her life.
“Louisa, I must apologize for intruding today of all days,” Daphne said as she paced the room. “Bloody hell, I don’t want tea. Why are women supposed to sit in a room and drink tea while the men sip on brandy? I want a brandy.”
“Shh, Daphne,” Louisa said with a laugh. “The children will be down in a few minutes.”
Emma walked to the small table in the corner of the room and poured two snifters of brandy and a glass of whisky. After delivering the drinks to her sister and Daphne, she lifted her glass and said, “To women everywhere who don’t live by the rules of men.”
“Cheers to that,” Daphne said before sipping her brandy.
Emma took a smaller sip. Suddenly her mouth was delighted by the smoky flavors. As she let it slip down to her belly, a lovely warmth enveloped her. She leaned back into her chair and enjoyed the sensation.
“Excellent idea, Daphne,” Louisa said after a sip. “I believe I hear little footsteps coming.”
A footman opened the door for Nurse, who held George in her arms. Charlotte charged into the room with her usual easy smile. James and Edward Radley followed her as did Daphne’s nurse, who held Daphne’s youngest, Sarah.
Daphne took one more sip before taking Sarah in her arms. At nine months, Sarah was a happy baby who seemed to laugh more than any baby Emma had ever seen. The boys sat on the floor with their toy blocks while Charlotte sat in a chair next to Louisa as if she were fifteen, not five.
Hearing a commotion from the hall, Emma took one last sip for courage and then excused herself. She walked down the corridor toward the library as Ainsley and Harry strolled toward her.
“Lord Ainsley, might I have a quick word in private?” Emma asked with a smile.
Ainsley glanced at Harry, who nodded his consent.
“No more than five minutes,” Harry replied.
Emma walked to the library and looked around but saw no one else in the dimly lit room. Ainsley followed her into the room with a questioning look upon his face. “Please close the door.”
“Of course.” Ainsley shut the door and then turned to face her. “How may I be of service?”
How did one ask for a kiss? This was dreadfully embarrassing. At least when she was mostly sober. “I appreciate you taking an interest in me. I do understand your reasons. However, I have a request to make before you decide to speak with my brother-in-law.”
“Anything at all, Miss Drake.”
“I should like a kiss,” she whispered, staring at the floor.
He smiled kindly down at her as he approached. “I believe I understand. You have no wish to be shackled for life to a man you dread to take to your bed.”
“Exactly,” she said quickly. “But not now. Once everyone goes to their bedchamber, I will return to the library.”
“I understand your need for privacy, Miss Drake. I shall meet you when everyone is abed.” He gave her a quick bow and left the room.
Emma’s heart pounded in her chest. She’d done it! Finally, tonight would be her first kiss.
“Have you lost your bloody mind?” an angry male voice sounded behind her.
Emma swung around to see Kingsley rising from the large wingback chair facing the fireplace. How had she not seen him there? “What are you doing here? This room was empty!”
“Apparently not. And you still haven’t answered my question. Are you mad? What are you thinking? You never invite a man to meet you after everyone has gone to bed.”
He stalked her.
“This is none of your affair...again.” Seeing his blazing eyes, she thought retreat might be the best course of action. Before she could take a step toward the door, he caught her and pulled her up against his chest.
“If you wanted a kiss so desperately, all you had to do was ask.”
Simon’s anger at her stupidity was nearly out of control. He lowered his head and kissed her hard, punishing, letting her know without words that she’d been foolish. She pressed her hands against his chest to get away, but he held her tight, slanting his lips over hers again.
Sanity seeped into his mind, and he let his grip soften, hoping she would surrender and kiss him in return. Instead, she pushed away and pulled her hand back to slap him. He caught her wrist and stared back down at her, his ire rising again.
“Don’t ever hit a man unless you are willing to be hit in return.”
Her face crumbled. “You’ve ruined everything! You always do! All I wanted was a first kiss to remember as I grow old. Now, all I will remember is your hateful kiss.”
Bloody hell. He should have known that was her first kiss. How could that bloody fool Bolton never even have kissed his fiancée of three months? Simon drew in a breath. There must be a way to make this right for her because no woman should have that punishing kiss as her first. Slowly, he drew her closer. Using every bit of charm he’d gained over the past ten years, he bent to kiss her jaw.
“Who said your first kiss was over yet?” he whispered before tracing the shell of her ear with his tongue.
“I don’t want you to be my first.”
He suddenly wanted to be her first everything. Trailing hot kisses down her jaw, he found the crease of her lips. Gently, he pulled her against him as he plucked light kisses on her lips. Feeling her tremble, he eased his lips over hers once more. As her lips softened, he let his tongue slide along the crease of her lips, praying she would open to him.
“Angel, open your mouth.”
Her lips gaped slightly but just enough for him to slip his tongue into her mouth. Feeling her tense, he gently swiped his tongue across hers until she moaned. Just as quickly, she was kissing him back, pressing her tongue to his, twining her arms around his neck, and pressing her soft body closer to his. God, she was a delight. Timid and then bold. Allowing him to teach her until she wanted to take control, and then he let her take it.
He was a fool to kiss her, to taste the whisky she had been drinking. He felt like a man deprived of water, who suddenly had a well from which to drink. Cupping her cheeks, he slanted his lips over hers again and again, desperate to have more of her but knowing he could take this no further.
In a sudden movement, she pressed against his chest and pushed away from him with a slight gasp.
“No,” she cried, shaking her head. “No, no, no! Oh God, no!”
Not exactly the reaction he’d expected after such a passionate encounter.
“Not you,” she said before racing from the room.
He stared at the open door, unsure of what happened. How had an ardent kiss achieved such an adverse reaction? He’d been certain she enjoyed it. What the bloody hell just happened?
“Simon, have you seen Emma?” Louisa asked at the threshold. “She spoke with Ainsley but then disappeared.”
He shook his head to erase the memories and then smiled at his sister-in-law. “Yes, I returned to fetch my glass and ran into her. She asked me to tell you that she had a headache and decided to retire.”
Louisa tilted her head and stared at him for a long moment before saying, “Very well, thank you.”
“Are you taking my favorite boy to bed?”
“Yes,” she said, rubbing George’s back.
He walked over and kissed his nephew’s head. “Good night, little boy.”
“You need to marry and have children of your own,” she said lightly.
“Perhaps someday,” he lied. But one thing he knew for certain, tonight, he would return to the library and make sure Emma Drake did not kiss Ainsley.
#
EMMA PACED THE CONFINES of her bedchamber, trying to determine how she could have reacted so intently to Kingsley’s kiss. This was dreadful. Beyond dreadful...horrible! She could not be attracted to one of the biggest scoundrels in London. She pressed a hand to her belly.
Oh, but that kiss.
The sensual feel of his lips on hers, his tongue brushing against hers. It had overwhelmed her senses and peace of mind. He was everything Mamma had told her to stay far away from when she was younger. Still, she had to admit it was a first kiss she would not soon forget.
“Emma, are you all right?”
Emma tilted her head up and stared at the ceiling. If she didn’t open the door, her sister would find a way in and then determine what happened. “Yes, I’m well.”
Louisa opened the door and entered the room. “You certainly don’t look like you have a headache.”
“Beg your pardon?”
“I was told that you had a headache and retired.”
“Ainsley was wrong. I am quite fine, just a little tired.” Emma finally sat down.
“Ainsley wasn’t the one who told me,” Louisa muttered before sitting across from her. “What happened in the library?”
“Nothing much. I spoke with Ainsley for a moment, and then Kingsley entered the room. Since you have repeatedly told me to keep away from him, I told him I had a headache and left.”
Louisa nodded. “And anyone else might believe that story.”
Her sister had always been able to determine Emma’s feelings far better than even their mother. The idea of telling what transpired caused her hands to shake. She couldn’t remember being so overwrought from one encounter. Not even Bolton’s rejection had made left her so distraught. Emma pressed her lips together to keep the tears at bay and finally whispered, “He kissed me, Louisa.”
“Ainsley?”
Emma shook her head, unable to say the damning words. “I’m sorry,” she finally whispered.
“Why are you sorry? What happened?”
Emma rose and started pacing the room again. “I never wanted this. I never wanted to be attracted to him. I never wanted to feel as if the world had slipped away when his lips touched him. God, how could I be attracted to that devil?”
“Simon?” Louisa let out a long breath before adding, “You desire Simon?”
“Yes!”
“I thought you despised him?”
“I do! It’s the most dreadful, horrible, exciting thing that has ever happened to me. What am I supposed to do, Louisa?”
“Did it feel as if there was no one else in the world at that moment? As if your heart were about to beat out of your chest?”
“Yes!”
“Damn,” Louisa muttered before rising and pacing the opposite direction. “I told you not to let him get close to you.”
“I know that,” Emma cried. “I have to leave. Return to London, and everything will be fine. He cannot affect me in town because we will not see each other.”
Louisa paced the room for a minute, muttering to herself. Finally, she stopped in front of Emma and took hold of her shoulders. “You’re right. Tomorrow morning we’ll make up some excuse, and I’ll have a carriage return you home.”
“Thank you.”
Louisa released the hold on Emma’s shoulders before whispering, “Was it really that good?”
Emma pressed her lips together and nodded. “He’s a rake. He knows how to kiss a woman senseless.”
“Oh my, I think it runs in his family,” Louisa mumbled.
“Harry too?”
“Every time he kisses me.” Louisa pressed her lips together before asking, “You are not in love with him, are you?”
“No!” Of that, she was certain. “Why?”
“It would change everything. No matter then. Pack your clothing tonight, so you are ready to leave in the morning.”
Emma nodded quickly. “Yes.”
“Good night,” Louisa said as she opened the door.
Once Louisa left, Emma took her sister’s advice and packed her clothing so she could depart at first light. She sat back on the bed and thought about her reaction to Kingsley’s kiss. Since this was her first kiss, Emma had no idea if she might have that same reaction with any man. Perhaps she would respond the same with any man. She tapped a finger against her lip in thought.
There was only one way to find out.
Listening to the footsteps coming up the stairs, she was finally confident everyone had retired for the night. Wrapped in her linen night rail and flannel dressing gown, she crept down the stairs to the library to wait for Ainsley.
She lit a candle and then walked the entire room until convinced no one was in the library with her. Then she waited. Finally, at close to midnight, she heard footsteps echoing down the corridor. Lord Ainsley strolled into the room with a smile.
“I thought your headache might prevent you from keeping our engagement,” he said as he walked toward her.
“No, I would not miss this for anything,” Emma whispered nervously. Her heart pounded with anticipation as he drew near.
“Neither would I,” he said before lowering his head.
His lips touched hers, and she waited for that same high-pitched excitement she’d felt with Kingsley. But nothing happened. Ainsley's touch was gentle and very pleasant, she supposed. Slowly she pulled away and glanced to the floor.
“I suppose this means I should take my courtship elsewhere?” Ainsley asked with a relaxed smile. “Do not worry, Miss Drake. I felt the same way.”
“You did?” Emma didn’t think she would ever understand attraction between two people. It made no sense. Standing in front of her was what she’d been brought up to believe was the perfect husband. And she wasn’t the least bit attracted to him. Instead, a poor rake and a scoundrel whom she didn’t even like sent her emotions tumbling.
“Yes,” he said with a look of resignation. “To be honest, I’d hoped for a match strictly for the money Harry is offering. But...”
“But your heart was never in it,” she completed the sentence. “Because you’ve always been in love with Lady Hollington.”
He gave a little shrug. “I supposed I have been. Clarissa wasn’t supposed to marry Hollington, but I was in Brussels with Wellington. Then again, I also wasn’t supposed to be the earl.”
“She is widowed now and almost out of mourning.”
Ainsley closed his eyes and shook his head. “She would never have me.”
“I am sorry to hear that, my lord. You are a fine gentleman.”
His lips tilted upward. “Goodnight, Miss Drake.”
“Goodnight, my lord.”
She waited for a moment to let him get to his room without her trailing behind. Now she was sure that she had to leave and avoid Kingsley at all costs, even if that meant not visiting her sister as often. At least until she found a way to overcome this mad attraction to him. Once she returned to town, she wouldn’t see him much at all, and that would give her time to find another man, a better man, by which to be tempted.
Realizing Ainsley must have reached his bedchamber by now, she took a step toward the door and then stopped abruptly. “What are you doing down here?”
Leaning against the doorframe, Kingsley alluded sensuality with a knowing smile on his dark face. “Did you enjoy Ainsley’s kiss as much as mine?”
There was a tightness to his voice as if he were trying to hide his anger or jealousy. It sent a sliver of apprehension down her body, but Emma was not about to back down. “Yes, it was a lovely kiss that made my toes curl.”
“Did it now?” He tilted his head until it rested against the doorframe. “You are a terrible liar, Miss Drake.”
“Or perhaps you are not as good of a kisser as you believe.” Blast! Why had she blurted that out? She knew he couldn’t resist a dare.
He smiled fully, revealing a row of straight white teeth. He took one step into the room and closed the door behind him. “I believe there is only one way to determine who is right in this matter.”
“There is no need for that. I am tired and wish to retire.”
“By all means,” he said, still standing in front of the door.
She stiffened her spine, picked up the candle, and took five steps to the door until she stood next to him. “Please be a gentleman and remove yourself from the doorway.”
“When have I ever professed to be a gentleman?” He leaned toward the candle and blew it out, plunging the room into darkness.
“Mr. Kingsley, I insist—”
A demanding kiss cut off her words. Simon spun her around until her back touched the wood door, trapping her against his hard body. The candlestick fell to the ground with a loud clink. The darkness of the room sent her imagination soaring. She wondered why she thought she felt his hand cup her breast. He would never do such a thing, would he?
“Did he touch you like this?” Kingsley asked as his thumb rolled over the tip of her breast until it peaked under his ministration.
“No, unlike you, Ainsley is a gentleman.” How did she manage to get those words out when driving her to madness with his thumb?
“Pity that,” he said before moving his lips down her neck. His tongue skimmed against her collarbone.
She twisted slightly, rubbing against the hard bulge at her belly. Hearing his moan, she stilled her movements, not wanting to encourage his scandalous behavior. He moved back to her lips, pressing hot kisses until she couldn’t help but return them. When his tongue slashed against hers, her belly clenched, and moisture dampened her folds. She couldn’t want him. She could not.
His large hand slipped between the robe and the fine linen of her night rail. Now she could feel the warmth of his skin through the thin fabric, which caused her to tremble with need as he tweaked her breast. With the slight pulling sensation on her nipple, she arched her back, desperate for more, even knowing she shouldn’t want him.
The darkness surrounding them seemed to amplify the sensation of his hand on her breast, his lips trailing hot kisses down her neck. He split open the folds of her robe, and his tongue brushed against her taut nipple until she moaned.
“Kingsley,” she cried as he brought her linen-covered nub into the warm moist recesses of his mouth.
He groaned and pressed himself against her. In a sudden movement, he moved away from her. Cool air rushed over her heated body as he left her.
“Go to bed, Emma,” he rasped. “Now.”
Fearing the urgency she heard in his voice, she reached around for the door handle, struggling to find it. Once she had it, she raced from the room, desperate to get away from the wicked sensations she felt when he was near. Once she reached her bedchamber, she locked the door behind her, frightened that he might attempt to come in, and even more terrified, she would let him.