Chapter 37

 

WITH THE DEVICE Frei wanted me to plant in the pocket of my jeans, I tucked in my shirt as I trudged out of my villa.

I’d never wanted to just sit in the quadrant before but right now I was finding the stonework on the path pretty fascinating. Frei believed in me and I didn’t want to let her down.

“Samson, wait.” Renee.

I turned to see her hurrying over like she was on a mission and tensed.

“Great,” I muttered under my breath. Another argument would really help my nerves. “Can I help you, Worthington?”

She nodded. “Let me walk with you for a minute . . . please.”

What could I say, no?

She took in my outfit and offered a tight, awkward smile. “You look nice.”

I sighed. It was the only shirt I owned. She’d bought me the outfit back when I thought she cared.

“He has a proposition for me.” It sounded wrong coming from my mouth. “Don’t ask.”

“Oh.” She looked as happy about it as I did. “So that . . . so what I saw was real.”

“You didn’t think anybody would rate me either, huh?” I felt like I was talking to a stranger. It felt so hard, so uncomfortable.

“Jäger is handsome.” She blew out a breath.

“Yeah, sure . . . a real looker.” I eyed her, wondering why she was asking dumb questions. She’d seen me talking to him. “So?”

Renee glanced around us. “Why do you think she’s the Unsub?”

Ah, so it was about Owens. Should have figured. I sucked in the disappointment that she might have been making sure I was okay or even saying hello.

Stupid, stupid, stupid. She didn’t care, how much clearer did I need that spelled out to me?

“Rolex. She’s after the POIs.”

“Her watch?” Renee pursed her lips. “Anyone could have a watch like it, it could get stolen. There’s too many reasons why—”

“You ain’t gonna listen to me anyway.” I let out a long sigh as we headed up the steps to the building. “That would involve you caring ’bout me.”

Renee’s brow dipped but I held up my hand. I couldn’t cope with her moods anymore. “Don’t bother.”

I headed inside and let the door shut between me and her. I knew she stood staring at me but I guess my patience when I was hurt was a whole lot thinner.

 

RENEE WATCHED THE door shut in her face with an aching thud in her heart. She couldn’t understand why Aeron would still have it in her mind that she didn’t care. What did she want that would confirm it?

She watched Aeron disappear down the corridor, the glass showing only her reflection. She had messed up, she’d said stupid things but she’d sent Franny to tell her she needed help and got some strange volley of abuse for it.

Unless.

Renee stared up at the sky. Unless Franny got the message mixed up. She was a child. How was she supposed to know the importance of getting it right?

It didn’t explain the major freak out Aeron threw at her the other night. How had Aeron got her wires so crossed and even if she had, why was she so bothered about Owens? It wasn’t as if she didn’t know about Renee. It wasn’t as if it was something she had a problem with.

Unless she did.

Renee shook her head. “Nan, if I’m not crazy and you are around, I could do with a pep talk.”

She glanced around her. The quadrant was empty. It wasn’t like the rest of the staff were sane. The longer she was here, the more she realized the inmates in Serenity had less issues.

“You yelled, Blondie.”

Renee jumped and gripped her chest. So Nan was talking to her. Weird, weird and freaky.

“Er . . . Shorty . . . is distraught, she thinks I don’t care.” She sounded like a schoolchild herself. She felt like one. “I can’t make sense around her. When I talk, it feels like they aren’t my words.”

Renee felt a swoosh of air against her and followed it. It felt as though Nan had an arm around her, leading her inside the building.

“You are feelin’ the same as what Shorty had to go through. Trying to fight through the mass of other folks feelings ain’t an easy skill.” Nan swooshed to Renee’s other side. “That’s why she worries so much about letting folks in. She don’t know if it’s her thinkin’ or theirs.”

Renee bit her lip. She passed Harrison’s office, thankful it was empty. The building was quiet. She didn’t have a reason to be in there but she couldn’t find the sense to turn around and walk back out. “So the insults I was hurling at them?”

“No doubt there’s a lot of folks around you who are bitter and mad.”

There were. Renee was convinced Owens was one of those people. Regardless of what Aeron thought. The moment she told Renee about Owens, she’d listened. She’d watched her. She was keeping Owens as close as she could so she’d know when to move. There were too many places, too many ways to hide students in the school, which Renee couldn’t get to without raising the alarm.

Her best bet at protecting the POIs was to watch the Unsub. Aeron said it was her, Renee was following it. She was following Owens . . . by tracker.

“Why is it worse when I try talking to her?” Renee slunk against the wall, knowing Jäger’s office was further along around the corner. She heard Aeron’s sneakers squeaking as she walked. 

“Same reason you ain’t havin’ a lot of luck with Icy,” Nan said. Renee felt her beside her. “You love ’em. That means your feelings, and the feelings of all the folks around you, overload you like they used to Shorty.”

“In Serenity?”

Nan hummed her agreement.

In Serenity. Aeron had shut herself off. Renee had tried to follow how Aeron had coped. She’d tried to relax, using weights, running . . . that had made her fitter, not saner. Her attempt at reconnecting with the cello had made her realize how rusty she was.

“How did she get through it?”

“Other than friends?”

Renee nodded. She stared up at the ceiling. Although part of her wriggled with jealousy, she’d seen the worry in Aeron’s eyes. Concern overrode what personal hurt she felt. Aeron needed her help. She knew that somehow but to help, she needed to find a way to cope.

“Armor.”

Renee sighed. “I know about the passage. I’ve tried visualizing it but I’m not good with my imagination.”

Nan breezed around as if ushering her forward. Renee moved to the corner. Aeron stood outside the door, staring at it.

“Concentrate on her. What you see, Blondie?”

Renee focused. Something shimmered around Aeron, it shimmered like it was baying at her to flee. Aeron glanced her way. Their eyes met.

“Pain . . . worry . . . she’s worried?” Renee held Aeron’s gaze. She nodded with every ounce of support and confidence she could.

“You can do this,” she whispered. “I believe you can.”

Aeron’s eyes flickered with recognition. Jäger opened the door and frowned when he noticed he wasn’t the subject of Aeron’s focus.

He narrowed his eyes, cleared his throat, and motioned to his office. Aeron turned and shoved her shoulders back, her worries trailing behind her like muddy snow.

“Nan, how do I shield myself?” She needed to find Owens. She needed to know about Jäger.

“Same way you just told her you had faith in her,” Nan said, her voice fading. “Love.”