Millie
“Have you spoken to Marco or Jane?” Olivia asked as we made our way to the bottom floor of the office building. It had been three days since I’d seen Marco, and Jane had taken the last two days off to hang out with him. I’d been grateful that he’d stopped texting me, but a part of me was also disappointed.
“I haven’t seen Marco since the morning I left him, and I haven’t heard from him since the texts he sent me that morning.” I shook my head. “Jane gave him the letter for me, and when she came back from lunch, she told me that she thought he was truly sorry for what he’d done.” I shrugged my shoulders. “But I haven’t seen her since. Which is good because let’s be real, she most probably thinks I’m an idiot. She did warn us not to get involved with her brother.”
“But you weren’t to know that you’d be so attracted to him.” Olivia flashed me a supportive smile. “And he was flirting hardcore with you. It’s not your fault.”
“I’m an adult, I could have said no. Instead, I chose to have a one-night stand with the man.”
“Hmmm.” Olivia bit her lower lip. “Didn’t you sleep with him two nights in a row?”
“Yes, why?”
“Then, can you really call that a one-night stand?”
I laughed. “You know, Marco said the same exact thing in one of his texts to me.” We walked out into the street and I sighed. “I don’t want to go right home, want to head to a happy hour?”
“Sure, want to invite the other girls?”
“Magnolia is wedding planning with Jagger.” I shook my head. “And Birdy told me she’s going to go and look at some puppies.”
“She’s getting a dog?”
“Who knows?” I laughed. “I know she wants one. When she’ll have the time to look after it? I don’t know.”
“Yeah, me either.” Olivia pulled out her phone. “I bookmarked a place close to here that has a good happy hour deal. Five-dollar apps and drinks. We can go there.”
“Sounds good to me. Please lead the way.”
I waited for Olivia to find the bar she was thinking about and idly pulled out my phone to see if I had any messages. I stared at Marco’s name on the screen and wondered what he was doing. I’d been surprised that he hadn’t texted me since that day, but then again, I guessed he’d gotten what he’d wanted. I was the stupid one to think that he’d ever been interested in more than fucking me. Just because he’d shared some stories from his childhood didn’t mean we’d been bonding; it just meant he was trying to weaken my barriers to get inside of my panties. And it had worked. Shit, I’d actually taken my panties off for him, in public, and handed them to him. And he’d gone and given them to a stranger as if they were some sort of trophy. That’s all I’d been to him, a trophy fuck. A few men had been flirting with me, but he was the one who had taken me home. Why had I thought that it had been anything more to him than that?
He was such an asshole.
“Okay, it’s about a fifteen-minute walk from here. Is that okay?” Olivia’s voice intruded into my thoughts, and I nodded. “Oh, Jane just sent a group text asking what everyone is up to tonight. Do you want me to respond and let everyone know we’re going to happy hour?”
I was about to say no, embarrassed to be around Jane while the memory of Marco was still fresh in my mind, but I decided that was a silly reason not to hang out with my friends. “Go on then, invite them all. Let’s have a girls’ night and just have some fun.”
“It will be fun,” Olivia agreed. “Maybe you can find a new guy to flirt with to get Marco out of your head. You know that saying—the best way to get over a man is to get under a new one!”
“I have heard that saying, but I don’t really know if I’m ready to get under anyone new.” I laughed. “For all his faults, Marco was an amazing lover, and I doubt anyone could live up to his skills in the bedroom right about now.”
“Oooh.” Olivia grinned. “You will have to tell me more when you’re not feeling so annoyed by his silly ass.”
“Well, let me tell you that he’s built, he’s cut, and he knows how to work what he’s been blessed with, and let’s just say he’s been very blessed.” I giggled and blushed as memories of my two nights with Marco hit me. Yes, he was an ass, but I couldn’t lie to Olivia or myself. He’d been an amazing lover.
In fact, if he hadn’t been such a cocky bastard, I might have actually gone back for more.
“I love you, girls!” I waved at Olivia, Birdy, Magnolia, and Jane as I got into my Uber, tipsy, and happy. Eventually, everyone had made it out for a drink or two, and we’d had a fun night bar hopping. We hadn’t even really talked about Marco. I’d wanted to ask Jane how he was and what they’d been up to, but I hadn’t wanted to put her in an awkward position.
I relaxed against the back of my seat and stared out of the window as my driver took me down Market Street. Then my phone beeped.
I pulled it out of my handbag, and my heart lurched as I saw Marco’s name on the screen. I should have just put my phone back into my handbag and gone home, but I couldn’t stop myself from opening the message. I knew that he was going back to LA tomorrow. Jane was supposed to have joined him, but she’d postponed her trip because she wanted Tate to go home with her. I swiped open the text and read, my eyes flying over the words on the screen.
Hey Millie, I just wanted to say that it was an absolute pleasure meeting you this week, and I’m sorry that it ended this way. Marco.
I stared at the text and before I could stop myself I typed back.
Millie: It’s your fault that it ended this way.
Marco: I know. Can I say how happy I am that you finally responded to me, though?
Millie: Only to say bye. So bye.
Marco: I’ve thought about you these last couple of days …
Millie: About how you want to lick my pussy?
Marco: Well, you’re very direct aren’t you? :)
Millie: I see you’re not saying no.
Marco: I’m not going to lie. Yes, I’ve masturbated every night to visions of you, but I’ve actually thought about the conversations we had and how I was able to open up to you.
Millie: How many times a day do you masturbate?
I groaned as I stared at the text I’d just sent. I was too drunk to be having this conversation with him.
Marco: Do you really want to know?
Millie: No.
Marco: You’re so different from every girl I’ve ever met before. You’re cute and quirky and sexy and funny and …
Millie: And what?
Marco: And I’ve liked getting to know you.
Millie: You said that before.
Marco: What are you doing right now?
Millie: Touching myself, I lied.
Marco: Oh yeah?
Millie: Yeah, does that turn you on? Are you hard right now?
Marco: I’m hard every time I think about you.
Millie: That’s no surprise.
Marco: No, it’s not. Can I see you tonight?
Millie: Nope.
Yes, yes, yes. I wanted so badly to go to his place and fuck him one last time, but I knew I wouldn’t respect myself in the morning if I gave in to temptation.
Marco: We don’t have to have sex. Or even kiss. I just want to see your face. Talk to you.
Millie: Sorry, I’m in bed, masturbating to the image of that blond guy in the bar. You know the one, the one you gave my panties to?
Marco: Ouch, that one stings.
Millie: It might sting you, but it makes me feel good.
Marco: If I thought for even a second that was true, I’d be at your house within minutes to show you that fantasies of him don’t even come close to the reality of being with me.
Millie: You’re so full of yourself.
Marco: I wish you were full of me.
Millie: Wow, so original.
Marco: Meet me tonight.
Millie: Nope.
Marco: We don’t have to have sex.
Millie: We’re not going to have sex.
Marco: What if we don’t meet at an apartment?
Millie: What do you mean?
Marco: What if we don’t meet inside? You don’t have to come to my place. I won’t come to your place. We can meet somewhere else.
Millie: Like a hotel room?
Marco: No. Not a hotel room.
Millie: Then where?
Marco: You can choose. Wherever you want.
I stared at the screen, my heart racing. Did I dare meet up with him again? Could I meet up with him and not end up touching him or kissing him? I had self-restraint, but when it came to Marco, I knew that all the good intentions in the world couldn’t stop me from melting into him and hoping for more.
Marco: What do you say, Millie?
Millie: I already told you I’m busy.
Marco: I know that’s not true. Jane just texted me and let me know you guys just finished at the bar. That was five minutes ago.
Millie: So you knew I wasn’t at home.
Marco: Let me see you, Millie. Please.
Millie: What? You said please. I’m shocked.
Marco: Millie.
Millie: Fine. Meet me at Ocean Beach.
Marco: I’ll head there now. How will I know where you are?
Millie: I’ll share my location with you. Don’t make me regret this.
Marco: You won’t regret this. I’ll see you soon.
I shared my location with him and then closed my eyes. Oh shit, what was I doing? I grabbed my lip gloss from my bag and reapplied it, fluffing my hair and smoothing down my top at the same time. I didn’t want to sleep with Marco again, but I did want him to want to sleep with me. I wanted to look hot. I wanted to look irresistible. I wanted to look into his eyes and see a deep wanton lust for me.
I changed the destination address in the Uber app and texted Olivia.
Millie: OMG! I think I’m going to do something stupid.
Olivia: What are you doing?
Millie: I’m on my way to meet Marco.
Olivia: Wow! Going to his place?
Millie: No, headed to the beach.
Olivia: Skinny dipping?
Millie: Girl, have you ever been to Ocean Beach? It’s far too cold to skinny dip!
Olivia: I bet Marco could keep you warm.
Millie: That is true, haha.
Olivia: So did you text him or what?
Millie: No, he texted me. I think he wants to say goodbye before he leaves.
Olivia: Aw, that’s sweet.
Millie: I figured why not. I don’t want him to leave on a sour note.
Olivia: You need you another taste of Marco. I feel ya, girl.
Millie: No, no! Okay, I wouldn’t say no to another taste, well, I would, but that’s not why I’m going …
Olivia: Uh huh.
Millie: Really. I’m not. I mean, if he was a different type of guy and I was a different type of girl, then maybe. But I’m not and he isn’t. And I don’t want to make his ego any bigger. He can’t just treat me that way and think I’ll just forgive him.
Olivia: I understand. Are you sure you want to meet him, though? You don’t have to.
Millie: I know I don’t. But a part of me wants to see him again. You know?
Olivia: I know! Good luck! And call or text me if you need anything.
Millie: I will. Thanks!
“You want to get out here?” The driver looked in his rear mirror and raised an eyebrow.
“Yup.” I nodded and grabbed my bag. “Thanks for the ride.”
“Okay …” He looked out at the side of the road in disbelief.
I knew he must have thought I was crazy. Who got dropped off at the side of the road near the beach at one o’clock in the morning?
“Bye!” I hopped out of the car and he drove off as soon as I closed the door.
I walked toward the sand, wanting to be next to the water as opposed to just standing on the road. I slipped my shoes off and carried them in my hand as I walked across the concrete to the beach. It was quiet and cold, the wind flapping my hair across my face and stinging my skin. The sand was gritty and hard but I made my way to the roaring ocean, wanting to dip my feet into the water.
I knew that the water would be cold, but I wasn’t prepared for the icy sting. I jumped back as a wave crashed over my ankles. I looked up at the dark sky, searching for stars, but all I could see was the crescent shape of the moon beaming down on me. An overwhelming feeling of joy mixed with sadness hit me, and I felt the urge to cry. Instead, I knelt down and ran my fingers across the sand hoping to find shells. A sudden movement to my right made me jump, but I soon realized that it was just a hermit crab running around.
“Hey, you okay?” A deep voice sounded from behind me and I stood up and turned around.
Marco was standing there, about ten feet away from me, a hesitant smile on his face. I wasn’t used to seeing him look so boyish and I just nodded. I took in his appearance and the familiar warmness filled me like it always did when I saw him. His hair was disheveled and he was wearing a pair of dark jeans with a baggy sweater. He walked toward me and stopped, his eyes surveying my face and wild hair, and then he grinned, his expression warm and happy. I wanted to reach up and touch him, to pull him into my arms and kiss him, but instead I just stood there, waiting to see what he would say or do next.