38

All four of them stood staring at the Queen, mouths hanging open, at a loss. No, come on, thought Zack. This is what everything has been leading up to – don’t choke now!

Zack bowed deeply, the others following suit. HM the Queen gestured with the back of her hand, as if shooing away a fly. ‘Ah, don’t bother with any a’ that! But I’m tellin’ ya – ya got less than a second before I scream for my guards!’

Her voice! It was like someone had taken the Queen and inserted the entire cast of EastEnders into her mouth. What was it with the accent?

The Queen noticed their quizzical expressions. ‘Not what you were expectin’? Nah, I guess not – no one ever does! But then, no one ever gets to see the real me, does they? Except when they storm into my bedroom like this! What if I didn’t ’ave me nightie on?’

Zack slowly straightened up. ‘Ma’am … Erm … This is going to sound a bit … Well, just bear with me on this! The thing is … we believe the thieves who tried to steal the nation’s gold earlier this week are now after the Crown Jewels. Ma’am.’

The Queen looked at Zack, motionless for a few seconds, inscrutable as her waxwork at Madame Tussaud’s, the noise of the clock ticking suddenly sounding more like cannon fire. None of them dared to move or speak. ‘What, is that it?’ she said suddenly, with an almost toothless grin. ‘You came all this way to tell me that?’

‘Oh … Erm … No, ma’am,’ continued Zack. ‘You see, the thing is, it was actually me – well, us – who solved the Bank of England case in the first place. We told DI Caulfield what we knew, but then he claimed all the glory for himself.’

‘Yeah, that sounds ’bout right, knowin’ ’im!’ she said, a look of mischief on her face.

Zack continued, more confident now. ‘So when the thieves told us exactly when they were going to steal the Crown Jewels, we thought it best to come and tell you in person.’

‘You thought … it best … to come and tell me in person,’ repeated the Queen, as if this was one of the most ridiculous things she’d ever heard (save for some of her husband’s jokes!).

‘Well, also,’ Zack piped up again, ‘because we don’t believe the Crown Jewels are kept in the Tower of London at all … We think they’re here with you, and that the Tower of London is just a bluff.’

The Queen was silent for a moment, before gesturing to a chaise longue. ‘Sit,’ she said, like she was talking to one of her dogs. ‘All four of you – naow!’

They obeyed at once while the Queen dragged a chair across to face them. She sat, hitching up her dressing gown and kicking off her slippers, making herself comfy.

‘And what makes you fink the Crown Jewels ain’t at the Tower a London, where they’ve bin for a hundred years?’ she asked casually.

‘Well, from a magician’s point of view, it’s the perfect bluff,’ said Zack, looking her squarely in the eye, trying to see if she might give anything away.

‘You’re magicians?’ said the Queen, looking between the four of them inquisitively, an optimistic trace in her voice. ‘Like ’Arry Potter?’

‘Well, not quite, Your Majesty. We’re the Young Magicians,’ answered Sophie, trying to sound confident.

‘Oh, I see – and what’s that?’ asked the Queen, smiling.

‘Oh, well, it’s just … nothing.’ Sophie was lost for words for once.

‘Nah, come on, girl,’ jibed the Queen playfully, ‘don’t be shy, what is it?’

‘Well, it’s just what we call our group … gang … thing.’

‘You four?’

‘That’s right.’

‘And you are …?’

‘Sophie, ma’am.’

The Queen looked at Alex and Jonny and Zack.

‘Oh, erm, I’m Jonny and this is …’

‘Alex.’

‘Zack.’

The three boys gave her a nod before lowering their heads politely.

‘My Charlie used to be into magic,’ said the Queen. ‘Even got ’imself a place at that Magic Circle up the road.* That’s goin’ back decades, o’ course.’

Zack carried on, like a true raconteur, explaining to the Queen everything that had happened – from their initial discovery of The Thieves’ Almanac to their zip-line journey to Buckingham Palace.

The Queen listened, entranced, digging into a couple of mint chocolates as Zack spoke.

‘All right, so ’ang on!’ she said eventually. ‘So you – Zack – you’re the one who dreamed all this up. Jonny, you built the wire thing that leads to my ’ouse. Alex, you picked my locks, and – Sophie – you hypnotized my dogs? Is that about right?’

‘In a nutshell, yes,’ said Zack, daring a smile.

‘And you’re … the Young Magicians?’

They all nodded.

‘I like it! But what the ’ell do you want me to do about it?’

‘Well …’ Zack hadn’t anticipated this question. ‘Maybe you could alert the security people at the Tower of London. We didn’t think they’d take us seriously, and we didn’t want to have to go to DI Caulfield again.’

‘Nah, I don’t doubt it!’ The Queen smiled at them – a warm, genuine smile. ‘It’s nice havin’ a bit of company up ’ere. The ’ouse is so quiet when the family are away.’

Zack, Jonny, Sophie and Alex stared at her, shocked. Sophie had never taken much interest in the royal family, but this wise woman was very special. Her voice for starters! Sophie smiled at the thought of her delivering her Christmas Day speech in this voice.

‘One question, though,’ said the Queen, drumming her fingers on her lap thoughtfully. ‘If you lot have managed to work out the real location of me Crown Jewels – hypothetically speaking, o’ course – then what’s to stop these thieves from working it out too?’

‘Well, precisely!’ said a deep, snarling voice from the doorway.