Coleman pried his eyes halfway open and, for a moment, couldn’t remember where he was. He heard a light knocking at his door, and it all came back to him. Tonight, he might be back across the Shroud. ‘Just a moment, I’m indisposed.’ He slipped on his breeches and opened the door. Jolie stood there with a cup of tea. What a beautiful way to start the day.
‘Drink this and come with me, please.’
He grinned. ‘No “good morn, how are you my love?”’
Her smiled was clouded. ‘Normally, yes. But I need your help — something has happened to Sari.’
His stomach dropped, and his eyes widened. Surely Sari wouldn’t… ‘What? Is she —’
‘I haven’t seen her like this since we were children. I hope it isn’t serious, at least I don’t think it is. They usually pass, but this seems worse than previous episodes.’
‘What?’
‘Just come, she isn’t in any physical danger. Yet. It will be easier for you to see than for me to explain.’ With that, she rushed down the hall. Coleman set the tea on the table, threw on a shirt, and ran after her.
Sari sat in her chair in the same clothes she’d worn the previous day. Her tear-swollen eyes stared out the window. ‘Sari,’ Jolie said, but she didn’t respond. ‘I’ve brought Coleman.’
‘Sari? ‘Tis Coleman and Jolie.’
‘We’re here both here. You’re not alone, darling one,’ Jolie’s spoke softly in her ear. ‘Come to us. We aren’t going anywhere.’
***
In the black place where Sari struggled, something came to her, pulling at her senses. It drew a small part of her soul upward. It was…something…ordinary. Sari smelled tea. She looked at the table, a steaming cup sat there.
Where’d that come from?
She looked back out the window into the dawning day.
Why was it light?
Everything is darkness.
A voice called, but she couldn’t respond. The waters had taken her. Voices, her beloved Jolie, and Coleman, the one who drew Jolie away. They had come for her. She swam, pulling herself through the black currents in her mind.
‘Sari? ‘Tis Coleman and Jolie.’
‘We’re here both here. You’re not alone, darling one.’ Jolie’s soft voice said in her ear. ‘Come to us. We aren’t going anywhere.’
They weren’t?
***
They waited, lovingly murmuring encouragement and gently touching her. After several minutes Sari turned and stood, wrapping her arms around Jolie’s neck, holding her tightly.
‘I can’t lose you,’ Sari said against her neck.
‘What? Love, you won’t,’ Jolie said.
‘I…I’ve waited my whole life for…’ Sari pulled back and scrubbed at the tears that flowed again. Unable to finish the sentence. Her voice hitched as she struggled to speak. ‘To have…what you have, what…I thought…I had with you.’
This was too much. He’d caused this. A crushing weight slammed onto his shoulders.
‘Oh, dear heart —’ Jolie said.
‘I’m a Maiden.’ Sari’s voice was thick. ‘A Commander…I know all about responsibility…but some duties are…too…’ She put her fists against her cheeks. ‘For Divine’s sake, how did this happen?’ She leaned her forehead against Jolie’s chest.
You can’t just stand here. He had to try, somehow, to make amends. He reached out and ran his hand down her back, just a feather’s touch. He expected her to jump like a startled colt, but as he stroked her back, Sari settled. Her breathing eased, and the mournful sobs stopped.
‘What do you need to tell me?’ Jolie asked.
Her? It should be he who did the telling. How sorry he was, how he loved Jolie, and cared for Sari. But he held his tongue. Jolie knew her better than anyone, and he would follow her lead.
Sari remained silent and unmoving then slowly lifted her head and gazed into Jolie’s eyes. She looked over at him and finally said, ‘I can’t lose her, Coleman. I don’t want to resent you…and shouldn’t, you need my care and love. This whole thing seems to depend on you being surrounded with it. But…’
Jolie ran her arm down Sari’s shoulder. ‘Dear one, what you and I have may change but only for the better. You aren’t losing me,’ a smile played at her lips, ‘you’re gaining him.’ Now. Now was the time. ‘She’s right, Sari. However we figure this out, and we will, you are too important to Jolie,’ his voice softened, ‘and too good a friend to me, to be cut out or cast off.’
Jolie draped an arm over Sari’s shoulder and the other over his. They stood in a tight circle, heads down, and hearts near one another.
Without looking up, Sari took a shuddering breath. ‘I thought it would pass, that I could shake it off, but it just got worse as the night progressed, and I found myself paralyzed.’
He said, ‘Love. It can make us do strange things.’ He paused. ‘Wherever I am, whatever happens, I’ll not be the cause of any discord between you two — at least not intentionally.’ He felt the tension flow out of Sari as her shoulders softened. They held each other for several minutes.
‘Thank you,’ Sari said. ‘A few cycles ago, I wouldn’t have imagined I’d be here like this.’
‘Or acting like this either.’ Jolie ran her hand over Sari’s hair. ‘I’m supposed to be the unpredictable woman. Aren’t you the strong silent one?’
Sari looked up, smiled and shrugged.
‘Perhaps it’s the silence that caused it,’ he said. ‘We need to tell each other what affects us. To be open and honest before things build up. Right?’ He raised his eyebrows. Who would have thought watching daytime talk shows would be helpful? They nodded and smiled.
‘Come. Let’s get some tea and have breakfast together,’ Jolie said.
Sari nodded. ‘You’re both right. It will help.’ She took their hands, and the three of them walked toward the dining hall.