CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN

I’m sitting in the lounge, awaiting the return of Charlie and Hannah. Neither of them is back on the floor yet. Time is wasting, and here I sit, reading tales of towels and the universe.

“Dez?”

Much to my surprise, it’s Abbey. A quiet, reflective Abbey. Am I hallucinating?

“Hey,” I say.

“I heard about Hannah. I … ” She looks down at the floor. “Look, I know we didn’t exactly hit it off, but I wanted to tell you I know how you’re feeling, and if you need anyone to talk to … ” Her words trail off, and she turns and walks away.

“Thanks,” I say inaudibly.

I return to my book, but focus is impossible.

She’s leaving. Tomorrow.

How will I get through this without her?

Finally, Hannah steps off the elevator. She doesn’t see me, though, and heads straight for our room. I’m up in a hurry to follow her.

She hears me behind her and spins around when I enter the room. “Dez! I’ve been looking for you.”

“I was out in the lounge, reading. Waiting for you and Charlie to get back.” I hand her the ticket from the table by the message center. “Congratulations.”

She pulls me into a lung-crushing hug. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for you to find out like this. My bracelet didn’t come off until—”

“Hannah, it’s fine,” I squeak. I manage to wriggle free.

“Are you okay?” she asks.

“I am. Honestly. I was pretty freaked out when I saw the ticket, but I was being completely selfish.”

“You’re not,” she insists.

“You know what my first thought was when I saw your ticket? What about me? That’s it. No happiness for you, nothing. Just worrying about what it means for me.”

“That’s not selfish. That’s normal. You’ve been here a week. It’s not even enough time to get used to the idea of being dead. After all that’s happened in the last few days, we finally got close. And now I’m leaving. Of course you’re going to feel upset and worried.” She pulls me into another hug.

“Stop it. You’re going to make me cry.”

“Oh, your ribs, I’m so sorry!” She lets go of me.

“No, they’re fine. Crosby put this ointment on them, and they don’t even hurt at all anymore.” I pull my braids back to show her my face. “My cheek, too. See?”

“I should have known Crosby would be able to fix you right up.” She drops her ticket back on the table and takes a long look at me. “You’re going to be fine, you know?”

Feeling the first sense of true happiness for her, I squeeze her tight. “You have been such an amazing friend, and there’s nobody I’d rather have spent my first week with.” Tears trickle down my cheeks. “I could never have gotten through without you.”

Hannah’s eyes well up. “If it weren’t for you, I don’t think I’d have come out of my shell enough to reach the finish line. I’m going to miss you so much. I can’t believe this is goodbye.”

“It isn’t. We’ll see each other again, as soon as I can get out of here. Then we’ll have forever.”

“Plus we have the rest of today and tonight, right?”

“We do. DSR can bite me.”

Our crying and hugging is interrupted by a soft knock at the door. “Come in,” we say in unison, sniffling.

Charlie’s head peeks around the door. “Aw, what’s this?” he asks. “You know what you two need?” He comes in, three Frisbee doughnuts in hand. Well, hands. And arms. The doughnuts are big.

Hannah and I laugh and wipe away tears.

“You’re something else, Charlie,” she says. “Come sit down. We can’t eat doughnuts and weep while standing. It’s too much work.”

She takes a seat in her recliner. Charlie passes out the doughnuts and lights the fireplace before joining me on the couch.

“So, are you excited?” he asks.

“I guess.” Hannah smiles, her face a mess of nerves. “I’m still pretty much in shock. I had no idea this was coming. I thought I had a lot of work left to do.”

A bit of unfinished business pops in my head. “Great Expectations,” I shout, making Hannah and Charlie both jump. “You never finished.”

“I guess I’ll have to track down Dickens himself and have him tell me how it ends.”

“Sounds like a great plan,” I say, “but if his personality is anything like his writing, be prepared for a long-winded conversation.”

“As long as no one is paying him by the word to talk, I should be okay.”

We sit in silence, none of us sure what to say next. After several sad, silent moments have passed, Charlie holds up his doughnut in a toast. “Here’s to Hannah. A great friend, roommate, floormate, and someone we will miss terribly and think of every day. Nobody deserves to move on more than you. Congratulations.”

The night passes in equal parts laughter and tears, the three of us rejecting DSR for the night, forgetting everything else but each other. We share stories of our childhoods, our lives, our deaths, and what we think will be waiting for Hannah in the morning. Hannah tells us about her three brothers; Charlie laments being the youngest, and only, boy in a family with five sisters. I tell them about my parents and what it’s like to be an only child. We tell jokes, marvel at the afterlife, and do everything in our power to fight the passing time. Not since Aaron has a goodbye been so hard.

It’s not every day you send a dear friend off to eternity.

The morning comes fast, regardless of the fact that we’re not ready to face it. Before we know it, Franklin has arrived.

“You ready, Hannah?” he asks.

“No, but does it matter?”

“Train’s leaving. It’s better to be on it than not, right?”

“I guess so,” she says.

I walk over to the message center and retrieve her ticket from the table. This time, my happiness for her outweighs my selfish worry for myself, but my handing her the ticket sends us into another crying jag.

Charlie wraps us both up in his arms. “We’re really going to miss you around here, Hannah.”

“We are, but I am so happy for you,” I say. And I mean it.

“Thanks, Dez. I’m pretty happy for me, too. Nervous, but happy.”

We break our group hug and Franklin holds out his hand to Hannah. “It’s been a real pleasure,” he says. The look of surprise on his face as Hannah throws her arms around him is priceless. Hugs for everyone, I guess.

Another knock on the door opens the floodgates of a steady stream of floormates—even Abbey—who pass through in the next few minutes. More hugs and goodbyes follow, and, before we know it, it’s time to go.

“Walk me down to the station?” Hannah asks.

“Of course we will,” I say. “I want to get in every last second with you. I have a lot of issues, so it might be a while before we see each other again.”

I slip my arm through hers, ready to go, but there is one last knock on the door. Bobby.

“It would seem you are, in fact, taking your leave of us,” he says after we’ve invited him in.

“Seems that way.” Hannah marvels at her ticket like she still can’t believe it’s real. “I never really thought I’d get one of these,” she tells him.

“And yet all your hard work has paid off. You have excellent friends, you know.”

“I do,” she says.

“As Carl Sagan once said, ‘For small creatures such as we, the vastness is bearable only through love.’ I am certain you shall have many loving relatives waiting for you on the other side, much as you’ve had loving friends here at Atman.”

“Thank you, Bobby,” Hannah says, clearly touched by his words.

“Might I be so bold as to walk you to the elevator?” A small bit of pink sprouts up in his cheeks.

“I’d be honored,” she says.

With that, the four of us leave the room, Hannah for the last time.

“Farewell,” Bobby tells her with a wave as he presses the down button for us. He walks away, leaving the three of us to take the final plunge.

“Ready?” Charlie asks.

With a sniffle and a nod, we’re on our way.

It’s here. Like it or not, Hannah is moments from leaving us.

It’s a busy, noisy place. Train whistles blow, staff members bark out orders, and nervous passengers shuffle in all directions. The platform is crowded with the anxious faces of the newly dead, along with a few afterlife veterans like Hannah. It’s easy to tell them apart. They all look nervous, but Hannah and a select few others are missing that additional look of shock and confusion.

A small man with a big voice in a sky-blue uniform leans out of the train at Platform B and announces, “Now boarding train twelve. Train twelve passengers, step forward for immediate boarding.”

“I guess this is it,” Hannah says. “You two take care of each other, okay?”

“We will,” I say. “Don’t worry about us. I’ll keep Charlie in line.” I throw my arms around her. The selfish part of me that doesn’t ever want to let go is outvoted by the reasonable side of me that is excited for her.

Charlie steps up to give Hannah a final hug. “And I’ll keep kicking her butt in foosball.”

I elbow Charlie. “In your dreams, Weimann.”

“Train twelve,” the conductor shouts again. “All passengers please proceed to the boarding stations.”

“Go,” I say. “I’ll see you soon.”

She turns and walks to the train without looking back.

Charlie holds me steady, and we wait as the final passengers scurry on board. With the slam of a few doors and a chuff of the engine, the train begins its slow departure. It terrified me so much a week ago, but now it only makes me sad as it takes my first friend from Atman off to a waiting eternity.

Charlie pulls me into a warm and steadying embrace and kisses me like we’ll never see each other again.

“Come on, Alice,” he says with a smile. “Let’s go find that rabbit.”