TWENTY-THREE

Oh, the fine affair! He’d only been digesting his dinner, taking a pastoral stroll in the fresh air on his way to sort out Popaul Thonon. He’d been conscientious, making a detour by way of the Hotel Central to see if there were any messages. And look at him now! The place was in an uproar, and the Police Judiciaire highly unpopular.

     Messages, grumbled the patronne – cow she was! Should just about think there were: all morning it’s been going on, and through lunch time. As though one hadn’t enough to do without that phone ringing. It hadn’t stopped, and people haven’t the right to be inconsiderate – there, it’s ringing again. Not here to run errands for customers, police or no police, and tell them I said so.

     Castang, jolted out of any post-prandial euphoria, cut the tirade off by blocking his hearing ostentatiously with both earpieces.

     ‘What’s it now?’ he mumbled.

     ‘Lucciani,’ bleated that donkey.

     ‘Is that who’s creating all this uproar?’ said Castang ominously.

     ‘No, listen, look, Richard said to let you know, and I’m trying everywhere to get hold of you, and nobody knew where you were, and it’s not my fault, but that old bag…’

     ‘And you forgot your toothpaste in the bathroom and you’d like me to wrap it in a neat little parcel to send on?’

     ‘No, wait, look, listen – ‘ The accumulation of ums and ers was adding to exasperation.

     ‘Where the hell are you, anyhow? You’re supposed to be working.’

     ‘Well, I am working. I’m in Longueville, Richard told me to stop off to see about that lab report and then – ’

     ‘Never mind: what the hell are all these calls in aid of?’

     ‘I keep trying to tell you, the lab report, they sent it stupidly back here instead of on to us, the blood’s human and it’s the right group, the fellow what’s disappeared, no not this one but the other.’

     ‘What fellow?’

     ‘Well, the gendarmerie, they think they’d like to ask that fisherman fellow some more questions, because making an affray, leastways that’s a pretext, see.’

     Castang wasn’t in the least interested. The gendarmerie in Longueville might not all have doctorates of philosophy, but were perfectly competent. He didn’t want to know anything at all about them and their affray. Unfortunately, he would be held responsible for any confusion caused by this mumbling boy.

     ‘Talk sense. Who’s stopping them?’

     ‘Well listen, the fellow’s done a bunk, see.’

     ‘Stop saying listen. He’s what?’

     ‘He’s nowhere to be found.’

     ‘Look for him then; where’s he gone to?’

     ‘East Jesus for all I know,’ obnoxiously jaunty.

     ‘And you are standing there, all pleased with yourself, telling me about it?’

     ‘Well, I knew you were in charge of the case and so I thought I better let you know.’

     Castang held the phone away from his face, shook his head at it, sighed deeply, put it back again, adopted a deep bass voice like an operatic villain.

     ‘Now you listen. You go find him, see. Or you’ll be headed for East Jesus arse foremost, and what’s your blood group?’

     ‘Well, we’re searching.’

     ‘Search to more purpose,’ banging the phone down. He hadn’t walked more than two paces away from this dunderhead when the cretinous telephone rang again.

     ‘Twenty pork chops for tomorrow, butcher, and how about a calf’s head, and don’t forget the brains.’

     ‘What?’ said Peyrefitte’s voice bemused. ‘This is the Comm — oh, is that you, Castang, at last?’

     ‘But I’ve my hand held up. Please, miss, may I leave the room, miss, please?’

     ‘All very well for you to be funny, but I’ll have you know there’s a fine flap going on and it’s your work and not mine and I’ve quite enough with these brothers.’

     ‘What fine flap?’

     ‘Some fellow that’s wanted on an affray charge in Longueville and took to the woods.’

     ‘Oh yes, of course. And you want him arrested, yes, is that right? Okay then, send me up a cop with a pair of handcuffs and I’ll look into the matter.’

     ‘No, no, no, no,’ crossly. ‘The gendarmerie were waiting at a crossroads and stopped his car.’

     Castang was childishly determined to keep out of this.

     ‘Oh fine, that’s lovely then, deafening applause.’

     ‘And I’ve got him right here for you.’

     ‘No you haven’t. You may have thought you did, for a few minutes, but that was just a small administrative error.’

     ‘Now what the hell? You coming here to interrogate this man? The gendarmerie have just brought him in.’

     ‘What should I want to interrogate him about? I don’t know him from Martin Bormann.’

     ‘But he’s your case, damn it.’

     ‘He most emphatically is not my case, and the gendarmerie can stick him straight back in their car if they’ve nowhere better. Take him back to Longueville where he belongs and not to be so goddam zealous another time. Everybody sees fugitives from justice and tries to stick me with them.’

     ‘Now stop being silly, Castang,’ in a most irritatingly patient and jolly way. ‘Longueville is legally in the administrative sector here. He’s got to be held for the Proc, but I gather there’s a suspicion of homicide. Anyway this is your pigeon: Richard made that perfectly clear.’

     Castang said things about Commissaire Richard.

     ‘Yes yes, I know,’ said Peyrefitte, ‘but you’re here and that means on the spot.’

     ‘Where’s the dossier anyhow?’

     ‘They’re sending it over by messenger. There’s no need to make so much fuss. It’s open and shut; the fellow admits everything, or did anyhow, in the car coming over. What’s left but formalities?’

     ‘Why didn’t you say so in the first place?’ grumbled Castang unreasonably. ‘Oh, all right then, I’ll try and get over this evening.’

     He rang Richard, who was unanswerable as usual.

     ‘There’s nothing to it. Some dispute about fish, there on the river bank. The gendarmerie has done all the work. You’ve only to take the man’s statement, and fill in a few forms, and you have it all wrapped up for your judge there, and it’s something for the press. Make everybody happy; show them how efficient you are.’ Quite as usual, no way of telling from his voice whether he was being sarcastic. ‘How’s your old lady coming along?’

     ‘Everyone’s got something to hide. I don’t much believe in the vagabond. It’ll serve to gain time, and it might even be of use.’

     ‘Or I wouldn’t waste Lucciani’s time on it.’

     ‘I’m not without hope of turning something up here.’

     ‘Nor am I,’ said Richard, and put his phone down. Castang didn’t know whether this was supposed to be encouraging.

     The fisherman’s papers wouldn’t be there anyhow before this evening. A session with Popaul was more urgent.

     And after all that, Thonon wasn’t even back from lunch.