“CLOSE YOUR MOUTH, Julia. It’s not that big a deal.” Jessie sat across from her sister in their father’s office.
“Nathan kissed you on The Ridge, and you’re going to try to convince me it’s not a big deal?” Julia shook her head. “I know you better than that. That man might be hot, especially now that you got him into some new clothes, but Jess, you don’t . . . ”
She knew what her sister was getting at. Jessie didn’t sleep around. Technically, she barely dated anyone because she had a ranch to run and no time to waste on relationships doomed from the start. Even when she did go out with someone, it never led to more than a quick peck on the cheek. Nathan was the only man who stirred her, the only one who’d reached into her chest and grabbed hold of her heart, but she wasn’t about to admit that. Not even to Julia.
“Yeah, well, he’ll be gone in a few days anyway. So it doesn’t really matter, does it?” She stood and tucked a file into the cabinet, leaning over to turn on the computer tower under the desk. “And clothes are just wrapping on the package. It doesn’t make the man. He’s still just a number-crunching accountant.”
“Financial analyst.” Julia grinned as she corrected her sister.
“Pain in the ass.”
“Me or him?” She didn’t wait for her sister to reply. “Anyway, how can you say that? He’s famous, and he’s here doing a favor for a friend when he doesn’t have to. That alone should speak to his character, at least a little. I notice you’re following his suggestions.”
“You mean booking the youth group this weekend?” Julia nodded and tipped her head to the side. “That’s coincidence. I just decided it was time.”
“Sure you did.”
Jessie glared at her sister. Julia rose and leaned over Jessie’s desk—the desk where their mother had done the same paperwork Jessie found herself struggling with now. “All I’m saying is that you should cut the guy some slack. He’s trying to do the right thing. That alone is respectable, especially in this day and age.”
“Yeah, he’s honorable.”
Her sister eyed her suspiciously. “What aren’t you telling me?”
Jessie hated that her sister could read her so well. With only one year separating them, the two girls could practically read each other’s mind, and she knew Julia could see right through her indifference. As much as she loved her brother, she and Julia had always been closer. If for no other reason than they were both women. They’d shared a room, even when they didn’t have to; clothing; and of course, secrets. Jessie wasn’t sure why she was even trying to lie to Julia.
“Jessie?” Julia’s mouth dropped open again, making her look like a goldfish gasping for air. “Did the two of you . . . when he was here before . . . seriously?”
Jessie looked up at her sister in shock. “I didn’t even say anything.”
“You didn’t have to!” Julia’s eyes brightened, and she smiled broadly. “Now things are making so much sense. Why you were so mopey after he left. Why you used to wait by the phone. What happened?”
“Obviously, nothing that matters.” Jessie didn’t mean to snap at Julia, but she didn’t want to relive her past with Nathan. It was too painful, and his recent rejection still smarted, making her feel even more like an idiot.
“Okay,” Julia said, raising her hands in submission. “I’ll wait until you’re ready to tell me. But it doesn’t take a brain surgeon to know you thought you were in love. You were heartbroken after he and Justin left, and Mom and I never could figure out why.” She turned to leave and paused. “Would you have slept with him last night?”
“Of course not.” Jessie couldn’t meet her sister’s gaze. The question was ridiculous. But no matter how adamantly she denied it today, Jessie wasn’t so sure she would have said no to Nathan last night. Damn it, what was wrong with her? She was just begging to get her heart broken again. “It was only a kiss.”
“You would have,” her sister said, shaking her head, her brows raised high on her forehead. “That man must be some kisser to make you forgive and forget.”
“I didn’t say I’d done either.”
“True,” Julia agreed. “But do you want him to stay?”
“Get out!” Jessie pointed at the door.
Julia held up her hands. “I’m going, I’m going.” She headed for the door, pausing as she opened it. “Now I’m sorry you met him first.”
Jessie threw a pen at her sister playfully, watching it bounce off the doorframe. She didn’t want to think about Nathan’s kisses or the way she’d responded to them, let alone the way her body was responding to just the memory of them. Heat flooded her belly, traveling lower, settling in places she’d long ignored. It had been years since she’d been with a man, years since she’d even wanted to since Nathan’s departure. She told herself she’d been too busy helping her parents with the ranch. But, in reality, she was grieving the loss of her fairy tale fantasies.
Jessie reached for the phone, not wanting to let her thoughts travel any further down this dangerous rabbit trail. Then she’d be battling memories of promises made in the dark as Nathan held her, words spoken that her young heart had believed.
She dialed the one person she was certain would understand her current predicament, her best friend, Jennifer Findley.
“Findley Brothers Stock, this is Jennifer, how can I help you?”
“I’d like a miracle, please.”
“Jessie!” The squeal of delight in Jennifer’s voice made Jessie felt guilty for not calling sooner. Jennifer had been one of the first people at her side after her parents’ accident, having lost her own parents years before. If anyone understood the trials Jessie faced running a ranch, it was her friend. “What’s going on?”
“I’m in a sink-or-swim situation.” She explained her financial situation and how she’d been forced to let several of their hands go. “Now, I have guests coming this weekend and need a few guys until I can hire more. Please, tell me you can spare a few.”
“No problem. I have a couple guys we just hired last week, and we haven’t even sent them out to rodeos yet. Let me make sure they’re willing to do it, but I doubt it’ll be a problem. It’s easier than mending fences here.” Jennifer laughed into the receiver. “When are we going to go out to lunch?”
Jessie couldn’t help but feel herself relax as they slipped into small talk, discussing ranch issues, horses, and Jennifer’s new baby. It was nice to catch up on the news of Jennifer’s brothers and their new wives. She was just about to tell Jen about Nathan when she looked up and saw the cause of her troubled state standing in her open doorway, holding several file folders, a frown marring his brow.
“Hey, Jen. Let me call you back. I think I’m needed for a minute.”
“No problem. I’ll have those guys stop by tomorrow if that works for you.”
“Sounds great. I’ll get them settled in.” Jessie motioned for Nathan to come inside and sit. “Thanks again, Jen.” She hung up the phone and folded her hands. “Well, I have two cowboys coming for this weekend.”
“Is that going to be enough?” The frown didn’t leave his face.
“With you, Julia, and Justin helping it should be. What’s wrong?”
“What do you know about Heart Fire Industries?” He laid one of the file folders on her desk and turned it toward her. She looked down at a spreadsheet showing several transfers over the past several months from Heart Fire Ranch to Heart Fire Industries, but never in the same amount.
“I have no idea what that is.” She leaned back in the chair. “Dad liked to have his hands in a lot of different pots. Maybe it’s an investment he forgot about?”
“But your accountant should know about it. He didn’t mention it to me when I met with him, and we went over the books.” The crease on his forehead deepened.
“Maybe he forgot,” she suggested. She wasn’t normally one to defend Brendon, having never been a fan of the guy, but she didn’t like the suspicion she could see in Nathan’s eyes.
“Jessie, the transfers are only coming from Heart Fire Ranch. I need to find out why and where these are going. They total several thousand dollars each month. Over four thousand so far this month alone. If you know anything . . . ”
Was he accusing her? “I don’t.” She shook her head in defeat and sighed, pulling the file toward her and looking down at the long list of transfers. “How could I not notice an expense like that? I’d have to sign them off or something, wouldn’t I?”
“Maybe, which is what has me concerned. I need to find out what this is, when it was set up, and who’s in charge.” He rose and started for the door, then turned back toward her. “Don’t worry about it too much just yet. I’ll get an answer and get the payments stopped, at least until we know what’s going on. That’s my job.”
She wanted to say something about last night, to make sure there wasn’t any sort of awkwardness between them over a measly kiss, no matter how incredibly earth-shattering it had been, but she wasn’t sure how to address it. She was afraid bringing it up would make it seem like it meant more than it should. After all, she was the one who had told him it wasn’t a big deal. She didn’t want him thinking she was still in love with him, but she wasn’t sure where she stood with him now, personally or professionally, especially when last night hadn’t ended on a high note.
“We’re okay after last night, right?” She hadn’t meant to blurt it out that way, but as usual, her lips moved before her brain could stop them.
A slow grin slipped over his lips and her heart skipped a beat, remembering how those lips had felt moving over hers, realizing that she wanted to feel them again. She jerked her disobedient thoughts back into submission.
“Yes, Jessie, we’re fine. Like you said, it was just a kiss, right?”
Jessie, not Jess. She hated hearing her words casually tossed back at her. It squeezed her chest, making her feel like she’d just lost something valuable.
Something you never really had, she reminded herself.
She tried to shove her disappointment aside and cleared her throat. “Nathan, I know you offered to help this weekend but what, exactly, were you planning on doing?”
His playboy grin faded as his eyes grew dark and smoldering. Jessie could see the heat in them, feel the sudden electric current crackle in the air between them, like lightning about to strike. “Jess, I’ll do whatever you want me to.”
He turned, leaving her alone in her office to catch her breath and to try to ignore the flush that traveled over her entire body as he exited down the hall.
Damn that man and his sexy mouth.
NATHAN WATCHED JESSIE in the corral with the recently gelded stallion she’d begun calling Jet. Both of the mares who arrived with him were doing well, and their physical wounds were healing. He’d already noticed that they’d put on some much-needed weight and were even showing interest when other people approached, enough that Jessie told Aleta she could start working with them this week.
But this horse didn’t want anyone near him, and he barely tolerated Jessie. It scared Nathan to watch her in the corral alone with the animal. Unlike the last time, however, Nathan followed her instructions and kept his distance, trying to concentrate on the files open on his laptop. But every sound from the corral had him glancing her way, ready to fly from his chair to rescue her.
“At least you’re not obvious.”
Bailey made her way across the walkway to the porch of his cabin. “Why don’t you just go over there and watch?”
“She told me to stay away.”
Bailey laughed and shook her head. “I thought you had more cojones than that, Wall Street.” Nathan glared at her. “I know my cousin, and I’ve seen the way she’s been looking at you the last couple days.”
“Like she wants me to leave?”
“Well, yes, that too, but that’s not the only look she’s given you.” Bailey shrugged. “I haven’t seen her this way . . . well, ever. I don’t know what happened last night, and I don’t want the gory details, but I don’t think she’d be averse to repeating the ride, if you catch my drift.”
“Bailey, your subtlety is refreshing.” Nathan rolled his eyes.
“I’m just saying that she’s interested in you, and I’m pretty sure you won’t hurt her. Mostly because I’d kill you if you did. You know that, right?” She shot him a look through her blond bangs. “And if I didn’t, Justin would.”
His guilt resurfaced, knowing he’d already hurt her once before. He wondered what they would do if they found out now.
“I’m not interested in a relationship, Bailey. I’m going to help you guys and head back to New York next week to finish a job there I put on hold. Then I’m going back to my apartment.”
“And what’s waiting for you there, big shot?”
Nathan didn’t answer, because he didn’t want to admit there was nothing worth returning for. What if he gave Jessie a choice instead of making it for her? What if he’d done that years ago? Would she have stuck by him and weathered the media storm or would she have crumbled under the pressure. Jessie was a strong woman, but was she strong enough?
Bailey flopped into the chair beside him and grabbed one of the file folders, flipping through the papers before closing it again. “You two actually have a lot in common, you know. You’re both too busy fixing problems for everyone else to realize you need someone to fix yours.”
Nathan sighed, exasperated. This wasn’t a discussion he felt like having with the young woman. What did she know about complicated relationships? About as much as he’d known when he promised Jessie he’d return. He wasn’t about to have a discussion that would require admitting his life was shallow and meaningless.
“I don’t have any problems.”
“Sure you don’t.” She tossed the folder back onto the side table and stood up, looking down at Nathan. “Maybe you’re right. It’s probably better if you do stay away. You couldn’t handle someone like Jess.”
“Did you want something, Bailey, or just to be a pain in the butt?”
She laughed out loud. “And there’s the real Nathan Kerrington that Justin speaks so highly of. Not this stick-in-the-mud banker. He kept telling me about all the pranks you two pulled in college, and how much fun you had the last time you were here. What happened?”
“I grew up.” Nathan glared at her.
He wasn’t a stick-in-the-mud. He knew how to have fun; it was just a different kind of fun. Now there was a purpose to what he chose to do for fun. He didn’t have time to waste on frivolity, or the freedom he had in college to pull childish pranks. Nathan realized he sounded like his father. Visions of lying on the blanket under the stars with Jessie filled his mind, erasing the boring events he merely tolerated for business. That was fun, but not the kind he could have on a regular basis. She was the kind of fun that was bound to cause one of them trouble.
“Let me guess, your kind of fun consists of schmoozing clients, business dinners, and midmorning tee times.” Nathan narrowed his eyes, hating that he was so predictable. Bailey pressed on, plucking the file he was reading from his hands and setting it aside. “Maybe, just maybe, you should get away from work long enough to realize life is going to keep moving ahead, with or without you, and you’re getting left behind.”
The truth hurt. Really hurt. He hadn’t realized how empty his life really was until he’d arrived here and witnessed their family dynamic. He wanted real connections, not the charade he’d been settling for. He wanted his friendship with Justin again. He was tired of women who only wanted his wealth and fame but didn’t care in the slightest about him. Seeing Jessie and Justin again slapped him in the face with all he was lacking, things he’d put on the back burner and, most likely, missed his chance at ever having. He wanted the relationship he’d given up with Jessie.
He didn’t need Bailey pointing it out again. Anger swirled in his chest. Emotions he so often held in check burst free of his usual control and spilled over.
“Maybe you should realize that this rocker-country-girl thing you’ve got going on isn’t going to get you anywhere, Bailey. Maybe you should spend a little less time criticizing my life and a little more taking an account of what you plan on doing with your own. Or are you planning on living off your cousins’ generosity forever?”
Her eyes flashed and he immediately regretted his angry words. He hadn’t meant for them to come out so harsh. She didn’t deserve his bitterness. It wasn’t her fault he’d made so many mistakes. “Bailey, I . . . ” He glanced up at her in time to see her clench her jaw, sadness shuttered her dark brown eyes.
“It’s a good thing you have me all figured out, Wall Street.” Sarcasm tinged her voice and she didn’t bother to hide her hurt at his snub. “You know, I’m surprised you got so riled up if I’m as far off base as you claim. I’m sure you’re absolutely thrilled with your life the way it is. From what Justin’s said, it’s been going so well for you. All that money and prestige. How lonely is that empty penthouse, by the way?”
Bailey trotted down the steps of the porch and headed toward the main house. “Your big bank account must keep you nice and warm at night. Maybe money can buy happiness. You should know.”
“Bailey!” Nathan yelled after her, but Bailey just ignored him and continued toward the house.
Nathan knew he should go after her, but he felt like an idiot for letting his temper get the better of him. He shouldn’t have said the things he did. It wasn’t like him to be abrasive, but he’d been on edge ever since he and Jessie had kissed last night. He’d been trying to dismiss it as sexual frustration, but he knew better, and Bailey had just pointed out the obvious.
From an early age, he’d been taught responsibility, logic, and money were the root of success in life. As the older of two children, they were a perfect nuclear family—one boy, one girl. His mother had gone to an all-girls college on the East Coast and studied business, but it was really an MRS degree. His father, on the other hand, had seen nothing wrong with taking whatever he wanted, whether it was in politics or business, and the legalities were of little consequence. If it wasn’t legal, he’d find a way to work around the law. Money could hire people willing to do just about anything, and the large sums his father threw at his flunkies were enough to keep them quiet.
Family loyalty, love, fun, excitement, passion . . . none of those words were in the Kerrington vocabulary. Everything about Justin’s lifestyle had been foreign and exciting to Nathan in college, drawing him like a moth to a flame.
The way Jessie drew him now.
He’d dated women with far more refinement and prestige, kept company with debutantes and high society elite, yet none of them kept him awake at night, twisting in the sheets, his fingers clenching with need to touch her. None of them caused the frenzy of wild desire that raged through him in her presence, making him want to forget every bit of his genteel upbringing. To want to give in to the need to taste her lips, to feel her skin under his fingers, to hear her whisper his name.
He wanted to believe it was the novelty of Jessie, the way she was so different from any other woman he’d ever been with. She was as free a spirit as he’d ever known. She did everything completely or not at all, and when she gave her word, or her heart, she meant it. At least, at one time. He’d never found anyone else like her. In his world, people hid behind pretense, falsifying every word to raise their own esteem. But not Jessie. In fact, she didn’t seem to know how incredible she was, let alone take pride in it. How the hell had he ever allowed his father’s threats to convince him let go of that?
He wandered toward the corral where she stood, completely still, with her back to the horse. The animal snorted loudly at Nathan’s approach but didn’t look his way. The horse dropped his head and walked toward her, nudging her shoulder with his nose. He was rewarded when she stepped backward, reaching up to scratch him.
“Need something?” He was surprised when she addressed him, since she hadn’t moved to look at him.
You.
He couldn’t tell her that, no matter how much he wanted to. The uncontrollable attraction he’d had for her that summer came back full force, and he wondered what sort of spell she put on him. He felt tongue-tied, unable to answer, as he thought about the feel of his hands on her heated flesh. He wanted to see those blue eyes darken with desire again. What would she say if she knew his thoughts? Would she remind him of his own reservations last night?
She turned and glanced at him over her shoulder before turning her attention back to the horse. “You okay?”
“Fine.”
What was wrong with him? Where was the confident ladies’ man who left New York? Where was the man who had no trouble delivering crushing blows to millionaires during takeovers or flattering supermodels with half-hearted pickup lines? It was simple; he wanted her. Not just physically but emotionally. He wanted to be the man she turned to for help and the one she clung to in passion. He’d been a fool to give her up. Or to push her away again last night. He needed to talk with Justin, to clear up the past before he could move forward with Jessie, but he couldn’t let her go again.
She rubbed a hand over the gelding’s face, taking a few steps forward and letting the animal follow her. “You know, if you’re bored, Aleta can show you where to find the grooming equipment.” He saw a playful smile curve her lips. “Or you could clean stalls.”
White-hot yearning shot straight through him, making the miserable jeans even more uncomfortable. He had it bad if a simple smile could cause this sort of reaction in him.
His mouth moved without permission from his brain. “Jess, there is nothing boring about watching you work.”
Her eyes immediately grew serious and she stumbled to a stop. The gelding bumped into the back of her, knocking her forward a few more steps. She righted herself and licked her lips, staring at him as if trying to read the intention behind his words. She raised a hand to the gelding’s nose.
“You’re dangerous to my concentration,” she murmured. The gelding chose that exact moment to nip at her hand, and she flicked his lip with her fingers. “No.” The horse jerked his head up as if shocked by her audacity, but immediately hung his head again.
Her concentration seemed fine, and he wondered if it wasn’t the current between them leaving her unnerved. “I’ll make you a deal: You finish up here, and then I’ll do whatever you want me to.”
His comment seemed to strike lightning between them, as he left the innuendo hanging in the air. He’d seen it in her eyes, but after last night, he wondered if he wasn’t tempting fate too much. He couldn’t settle for one kiss. He was learning quickly that with Jessie, it was all or nothing.
Her eyes sparked with suspicion. “I thought you said that was a bad idea.”
“I said it could get complicated.”
“What about my brother?”
“I’m caring less about what he might think every minute.” Justin would just have to get past it.
She turned away from him and ran a hand over the gelding’s shoulder and down his leg before picking up his foot and patting the bottom of his hoof. He wondered if she was really working the horse or trying to avoid looking at him.
“Besides, I could probably take him after a beer and a bourbon.” Her head jerked up, and he winked at her, smiling as he crossed his arms over the rail of the corral. “Isn’t that how cowboys do it? With liquid courage?”
“I’m not sure what to make of you anymore,” Jessie admitted as she stood, laying a hand on the gelding’s back. “One minute, you’re exactly what I expect: a straight-laced, suit-wearing banker—”
“Financial analyst,” he corrected.
“Whatever.” She pulled a rope halter from over her shoulder and slipped it over the gelding’s head. “And then you do something that surprises me. I’m not surprised often.”
He was taken aback by her admission. “I believe that. I get the feeling you tend to enjoy being the one doing the surprising, don’t you, Jess?”
She smiled coyly. “Maybe.”
“And you don’t like that you can’t figure out my intentions, do you?”
The smile slipped from her lips, and he saw her brows take a downward plunge as she turned her attention back to the horse. “What makes you think I can’t figure you out? Maybe I just don’t see the point in bothering.”
He arched a brow. “Really?” Her armor was back and he wasn’t sure what he’d said to raise it again.
Jessie shrugged, barely glancing at him. “Let’s face facts, Nathan. You’re leaving in a few days, and as much as I appreciate your help, it’s pretty unlikely we’ll hear from you again.”
“Is that the kind of man you think I am?” He shook his head sadly.
She met his gaze, her blue eyes remorseful. “History tends to speak loudly. I’m not interested in repeating it.”
He’d thought Bailey wielded the truth brutally. She didn’t hold a candle to Jessie. Her softly spoken words felt like a knife plunged into his heart. Proving himself was going to be harder than he’d thought it would be.
“And here I thought you could read people the way you do horses. Jess, you’re so busy trying to stay a few steps ahead of everyone so that you don’t get hurt, you’ve never looked up long enough to see you’re alone.”
She grasped the lead rope under the horse’s chin, but he saw her pinch her lips together tightly. She narrowed her eyes, and he saw the anger in them flicker to life. He might have pegged her, but in doing so, he may have ruined any chance he had at getting through to her.
“I guess it’s just something we have in common then, isn’t it, Wall Street? Those in glass houses should be careful about throwing stones. I don’t see a wedding ring on your hand or you calling your family each evening. At least I have people I know I can turn to. Who do you have?”
She turned the gelding toward the gate and walked him to the barn as he watched her go. She was a tempest of emotion—playful one moment, turning dangerous without warning. He knew it, yet he’d stoked her ire anyway when what he’d really wanted was to take her in his arms and kiss her again, to feel his hands on her skin, and feel her hands on him. He’d wanted to explore the connection between them, to see if she didn’t still feel the same way she once had. Instead, he’d managed to push her away and, in the process, accused her of doing the same thing.
Way to go, you idiot. Now you’ve managed to piss of two Hart women in a span of half an hour.