JESSIE CLIPPED THE cross-tie to the mare’s halter and began to groom her. In the flustered state she was in, she needed to be with her horses, allowing their quiet strength to soothe her troubled spirit. It was exactly why the teens blossomed working with the horses.
She didn’t need to hide her emotions from a horse. She didn’t need to lie to them. She could admit her failures and guilt without recrimination. With the horses, she could be vulnerable and open herself without fear of being hurt. Jessie ran her hands over the mare’s back, wanting to release the tension from the confrontation with her brother, but it overwhelmed her. She laid her cheek against the mare’s neck, breathing in her dusty, sweet smell.
Her chest ached, knowing Justin assumed the worst about her, that he believed she was incompetent, or worse, that she was using him for handouts. He was never going to believe in her ability to run this ranch. Her parents should have left it to him.
She wasn’t cut out for this. She was nothing more than a horse trainer who had given riding lessons to guests. What did she know about running a dude ranch? Most of Nathan’s business lingo went right over her head. What did she know about incorporating or proprietorships?
She was a trainer—that was all she knew how to do and the only thing she was good at. Her mother called it her gift, her calling, but with her parents gone and no one to share this load, it had become more of a curse.
The mare whickered a quiet greeting, and the hair at the base of her nape stood up. She knew it was Nathan even before his large hands found her waist, simply because of the way her body reacted to his presence. Goosebumps rose on her arms, and she felt a shiver of heat travel down her spine.
“Jess, are you okay?” His voice was quiet, but she could hear the strength in it. He would offer it to her if she was willing to accept it.
“I’m fine,” she whispered. Jessie didn’t bother to move from where her cheek lay against the mare’s neck. It was a lie and they both knew it.
Nathan’s hands crept up her back, his thumbs gently massaging her tense muscles. She sighed as his fingers kneaded her tight shoulders. Her brain warned her to move away from his hands, even as her body leaned back into his touch. The mare crooked her head back to look at them, curious, and Jessie patted her neck gently.
“Okay, I’ll pay attention to you.”
She forced herself to walk to the grooming bucket near the mare’s head. She dropped the currycomb inside and retrieved a soft brush. When she turned around, Nathan was waiting. One hand curled behind her neck, his fingers winding into her loose curls, and drew her mouth to his. Flutters began in her belly, rising into her chest, warming her, then settling over her. It wasn’t the fiery passion they’d shared before. This kiss was tender, touching the aching core of her, reaching the open, bruised soul that had been exposed by her brother. She didn’t deserve Nathan’s empathy but, oh, how she wanted it, craved it.
“Nathan,” she whispered against his lips, “don’t.”
He brought his other hand forward to cup her jaw in his palm, his thumb brushing over her cheekbone. “I’ll stop if that’s what you want, Jess.” His lips found hers again, sapping her will to resist him.
She recognized her weakness for this man. Like a shot of smooth whiskey, one touch, one kiss from him went straight to her head, and she was drunk with desire. It was dangerous. He was far too astute, saw too much she wanted to remain hidden. She didn’t want to think about why this man, the one bound to leave, the one who didn’t belong here in the first place, was the only one who’d been about to reach this emptiness in her that no one else even noticed. He would finish this job, dust his hands off, and leave. And she would be left with the broken shards of her heart, wondering why she’d been weak enough to believe him again. It was safer to stay away from him until he left next week. At least that way her heart would remain intact.
As if sensing her indecision, Nathan smiled against her lips. “Okay, I’ll stop.” She fought the urge to grab him by the front of his shirt and pull him back toward her. “For now.”
Her eyes opened and met his. The gold flecks were bright and the dimple creased his cheek. He plucked the currycomb from her hand. “Show me what to do.”
Nathan moved to the mare’s side. The horse looked back at him, as if she was just as uncertain of Nathan’s intentions as Jessie.
“Um, okay. You take this and brush short strokes over her coat with it.”
He reached for her hand and drew her in front of him, fitting her body against his chest, laying her palm over his hand. “Show me.”
There wasn’t an inch of her skin, from her shoulders to the back of her thighs, that didn’t feel like it ignited through her clothing. Their right hands moved in unison over the mare’s back while his left hand rested over Jessie’s stomach, just below her ribcage, his thumb absently tracing a path from her ribs to the bottom of her breast, leaving a trail of fire in its wake. Her left hand covered his, stilling his thumb as she tried to catch the breath that seemed to have fled her lungs at his first touch. Her entire body was trembling with want, but she couldn’t seem to stop it. Deep breaths only made her inhale the scent of his soap, a spicy mix of citrus and mint, with the smell of the horse.
She felt the quiet rumble of his laughter against her back more than she heard it. “Relax, Jess. I’m not going to attack you. I promise. We’re just two consenting adults, grooming a horse.” The tone of his voice and the way her own words fell from his lips had her turning to look at him. He gave her a smile. “Scout’s honor.”
Jessie arched a brow. She’d spent years convincing herself that he was a heartless bastard, that he’d deliberately seduced her and broke her heart with complete disregard for her feelings, yet here he was, tender and teasing, so much like the man she’d thought she fell in love with that summer. She needed to get her footing with him again, regain the upper hand.
“Okay, Wall Street. You finish with the brush and I’ll grab a comb for her mane and tail.”
She started to move away, but he wrapped his arm tighter around her waist and nuzzled his lips against the edge of her ear. “But I like you here.”
Jessie shivered against him. She wanted to be the tough cowgirl her father had raised, the one who didn’t need anyone and was in complete control, but her heart was rebelling, ignoring her every warning. The more she demanded it not care, the more she was drawn to him. The more she tried to convince her body she didn’t want him, the faster desire seemed to course through her veins, consuming her. She’d tried to keep her distance, but the truth was, she didn’t want to. Even knowing he was bound to leave and take her heart with him again, she couldn’t help the way she felt.
His teeth gently bit her earlobe and she whimpered quietly, her knees nearly giving out. Nathan laughed against the back of her neck, his breath tickling her shoulder, and she wondered if he felt the same all-encompassing craving she did. Her fingers curled around his hand, now stilled on the mare’s back as his body pressed against her, hard and heated at her hips.
“I should put her away,” she whispered. Nathan pulled her more fully against him, unwilling to let her go for even the short amount of time it would take for her to walk the mare to her stall.
His hand loosened from her waist but only enough for him to run his palm over her belly and grasp her hip, turning her in his arms. “You have two minutes.” He gave her an impish grin, his eyes glinting mischievously, and she wondered what it meant.
Part of her wanted to remain distant from him, to continue to protect her heart. She couldn’t just forget about the way he’d lied to her. Or had he? What if she’d spent the last eight years hating a man who didn’t exist? What if she allowed him to prove she’d been wrong? She knew she couldn’t protect her heart, it was already his, and it always had been. Why was she continuing to pretend differently?
NATHAN MOVED AWAY, giving her room to breathe again, and she gulped at the oxygen that seemed to flood the space he vacated. As he dropped the brush into the bucket and carried it into the tack room, she led the mare to the stall.
She locked the stall door and gave him a sly smile, crooking her finger at him as she hung the halter on the door. “You know, I think there’s an empty cabin just around the corner.”
“Is there? As a matter of fact, my cabin is just a few steps away.” He closed the distance between them quickly. Unable to keep himself from touching her, he buried both of his hands into her hair, tipping her chin up to look at him. “You drive me a little crazy, woman. You know that, don’t you?”
She smiled up at him, her eyes glinting mischievously. “I do.”
He let his hands fall, reaching for her hand, twining his fingers in hers, starting for the doorway. “Then we should probably go.”
She jumped onto his back, wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist. Her lips found the back of his neck and the burning ache in his gut turned into a raging tempest of need. Her scent surrounded him as she clung to him, her thighs circling him and her hair swinging into his face. His arousal sprang to life.
“Giddyup, cowboy,” she whispered against his ear.
It took every ounce of willpower he possessed not to press her up against the wall and take her, right here in the barn. But he wanted this to be more than just physical satisfaction. He was connected to Jessie; he always had been. It was obvious she felt something for him, even it if was just attraction, but he suspected it was far more. The question was how he was going to get this stubborn woman to admit it.
After the way things had ended before, he hadn’t exactly inspired her trust, let alone her forgiveness. He couldn’t blame her for not wanting to be vulnerable with him. Nathan wasn’t about to give up without a fight, even if it meant tricking Jessie into confessing how she felt.
Nathan pushed open the door to his cabin and carried Jessie into the kitchen, turning backward to slide her rear onto the tile counter. He turned around and moved between her thighs, grasping her buttocks and pulling her against him, leaning down until his lips were only inches from hers. Her eyes flutter closed, her dark lashes laying against her cheeks, waiting for his kiss.
“I need a drink. You want something?” He dropped a quick kiss on her full lips and went to the refrigerator. Grasping the neck of two beer bottles, he held one out for her.
Slightly confused, she blinked her eyes a few times. “What?”
“A drink.” He popped the top from his with an opener and took a long swallow of the beer as if demonstrating. “Yes? No?”
She looked almost irate before she quickly masked it, narrowing her eyes before smiling at him. He could see she was trying to get a read on his sudden change of mood. “Sure.”
Jessie hopped down from the counter and took the second bottle from his hand. Sliding her hand over his, she slipped the opener from his fingers before popping the cap and flipping it onto the counter. She tipped her head back and took a long draw from the bottle as he watched. Hunger curled through him, tightening his need into a throbbing ache centered under the ridiculous belt buckle he’d purchased.
With nearly a third of the bottle gone, she tipped it upright and licked the amber liquid from her lips. “Oops, look at that. I spilled.” She brushed a hand over the front of her shirt and he almost groaned out loud. Sure enough, there was a small wet spot just over her right breast.
His mouth went dry when he realized what she was doing. Damn woman is playing with fire.
She set the bottle on the counter and, before he could stop her, she yanked her shirt over her head, tossing it at his face. He caught it with one hand and was hit with the sweet scent that was uniquely hers—hay and horses mixed with sunshine and vanilla. Nathan followed her into the sitting area where she sat on the arm of the couch, waiting for him with a half-smile curving her lips. He refused to let her see how she was affecting him, not until she lowered the barrier she’d erected around herself.
He made his way to the other end of the couch and flopped onto the soft leather sofa, his eyes never leaving hers. Nathan wasn’t sure how long he could hide this overwhelming desire. His jeans were already painfully uncomfortable, and his fingers itched to touch her.
“You in a hurry?” He saw her smile falter again. It happened every time he didn’t react the way she expected him to. He was finding that the trick to getting Jessie to let down her guard was to keep her guessing. “You promised me in the shower we could take it slow, remember? We never did.”
“This isn’t slow, Wall Street. This is a crawl.” She laughed and took another swallow of the beer.
He sat up and reached for her hand, tugging her down onto the couch with him. She sank into the opposite corner of the couch, keeping a safe distance between them but with a playful grin on her lips. She was still holding back. He wanted her relaxed, open, vulnerable. He lifted her feet onto his lap and tugged her boots off. Dropping them on the floor, he began to knead the soles her feet with his thumbs.
“Oh, dear God.” She sighed and dropped her head sideways against the back of the couch.
He chuckled and continued to work his hands over the arch and heel of one foot before working on the other. His hands slid up the leg of her jeans and worked on the tight muscles at her calves and ankles. “Are you nervous about this weekend?”
“About having guests again?” She opened one eye and looked at him suspiciously. “A little. Why?”
“Relax, I’m just asking.” He dug his thumb into her arch, and she mewed softly, reminding him of a kitten. “Most of the time you seem to like horses more than you do people.”
She grinned and eyed him again. “Says the man with my feet in his crotch. You should be careful about insulting me when you’re in such a precarious position. If I had my way, it would be just me and the horses all of the time. Unless I could make it a place where kids like Aleta and Michael could come.”
His hands stilled, surprised. “You want to be a foster parent?”
“I don’t know. I’d like to have a place where troubled teens could come and be with the horses. An at-risk youth and horse rescue, I guess.” She laughed quietly at herself. “I should probably learn to keep myself on the straight and narrow first.” Her blue eyes looked up at him innocently, fear of rejection floating on the surface.
“Come here,” he said, pulling her into his lap. She immediately curled her hands against his ribs, tucking her head between his neck and shoulder. This was where he wanted her—vulnerable, responsive, and genuine. This is where she would reveal her emotions without hesitation, where the truth would slip from her lips without restraint. It was such an exposed position. This was the Jess he’d wanted to see all along. This was the woman who melted in his arms, the guileless woman beneath the armor. The woman whose fingers were lightly playing over the ridges of his abs through his shirt, making his pulse throb in his veins and his self-control take a vacation.
As much as he loved the feeling of having her in his arms, he wanted her to see his eyes and believe every word he was about to say. He tipped her chin up. “Listen to me closely—quit selling yourself short.”
She smiled sardonically. “But I’m only five foot three. I am short.”
He frowned down at her. “I’m trying to be serious here. We are going to get this figured out.”
She rose to her knees and straddled his lap, sighing as she looped her arms around his neck. “Fine, you figure it out. I have something more interesting to focus my attention on.” She pressed her lips against his jaw, trailing kisses toward his neck.
He felt every muscle in his body tense as she pressed against him. She dropped her mouth toward his, pausing to nibble on his lower lip. “Now,” she said, standing and unbuttoning her jeans before sliding them down her legs, “are you going to make love to me tonight, or are we just going to talk?”