NATHAN SAW THE change in Jessie almost instantly. She tucked a loose curl behind her ear and tipped her head to the side, contemplative. She looked so vulnerable. It was a glimpse at the young woman he’d loved and, like an idiot, left behind. Jessie rolled her lips inward, her tongue sneaking out to moisten them. He almost groaned aloud at the small gesture.
Her eyes shuttered and she shrugged, quickly withdrawing into her shell again. “I really don’t know. I’ve never thought about it.”
“Liar,” he said quietly, letting the lopsided grin slide to his lips again. Their eyes met, and she returned the smile tentatively. He immediately felt desire sink its teeth into him. He sat back, shifting in his chair, cursing his body’s reaction to her. She’d made it clear she thought he was an ass. He needed to focus on the job Justin had brought him here to do, instead of fantasizing about what could never be. He forced himself to focus on the conversation. “This could be the chance to reinvent yourself and the ranch, if you want to.”
She looked away, staring at the pool table across the room for a moment. “How would I even do that? You know how Justin feels about the ranch. I’m sure he’s already told you his ideas about how it should be run.” Her voice was quiet, hesitant, and he wondered if it was fear he heard.
Nathan didn’t deny that he and Justin had discussed the matter. But this wasn’t about what Justin wanted. He was here to find out what she wanted.
“Maybe you should start by deciding what it is you don’t want.” She turned those beautiful blue eyes back on him. “Take in a couple of guests this weekend, just enough to get your feet wet again, and see how you feel afterward. Figure out what you don’t like about the dude ranch, and we can work it out from there. Maybe it’s something as simple as hiring some help so you have more time to do what you love.”
“I canceled all of our bookings.”
“Bailey took a message today from a small church group down by Bakersfield, eight kids and four counselors. Their original camp was closed due to a wildfire, and they need another location on short notice.”
Jessie looked panicked at the suggestion. “I don’t have enough people to cover that kind of group.”
“Can you call some of your old workers back?” In spite of the fear he could see in her eyes, he could also see the wheels turning as she ran through scenarios in her head. “I’ll be here to help however I’m able. I’ll push my flight back a couple of days if necessary.”
“I might do better trying it alone,” she said, but he didn’t miss the humor that tugged at her lips.
It was nice to see, even if it was at the expense of his ego. “Thanks a lot. For your information, I can cook a mean omelet. And I can fix a fence now.” She smiled and looked down at her slice of pizza, picking at the cheese but not eating, looking suddenly introspective and serious. “What’s going on in that head of yours, Jess?”
The unshakable confidence he’d seen from the moment he stepped on the ranch slipped, and Nathan wondered if she was growing tired of her tough, independent act, as much as she wanted everyone to believe it was real. She barely looked up at him from under her long lashes. “I’m not sure I can do this. I mean, it was one thing to do it with Mom and Dad, but I don’t think I can do it alone.”
Worry clouded her eyes, even if she was doing her best to hide it. He covered her hand with his. “Hey, you aren’t alone. You have your brother, your sister, and your cousin.”
Her hand in his was warm and softer than he’d expected. Without thinking about why he did it, his thumb traced the pulse at her wrist. The tremor of heat that traveled up his arm wasn’t surprising, but it wasn’t exactly welcome. He needed to keep this professional if he was going to regain her trust, but he was having a difficult time keeping his body from remembering the heat of her silken skin against his, or the way she smelled—sweet like sunshine and honey with just enough spice to make it exciting.
“I promise, I will stick around and help out.”
Jessie jerked her hand back as if his touch burned. Nathan couldn’t believe he’d said something so stupid. He’d just reminded her of the fact that he hadn’t followed through on his promise years ago. Why should she trust him?
She took a deep breath, squaring her shoulders before slipping back into her take-no-prisoners persona. “I guess I could call my friend Jennifer to see if a couple of her guys might be able to come for the weekend. At least I could make some informed decisions that way.”
He tried to ignore the disappointment he felt course through him as she withdrew behind her armor again. But he’d seen a chink in it—maybe he could draw her out again.
“Since we’ve settled the main issue at hand, how’d you like to show a city boy around? Justin always said I’d missed out by growing up in the city, and I was always too busy to see much of the town when I was here before.” He let the innuendo hang in the air, allowing her to remember what had kept him too busy to go out with Justin—late nights of stolen kisses in the barn, or that last night she’d claimed to be too sick to go to the trail ride and campfire.
“What?” She looked confused and, if he was honest, adorably surprised by his request.
“I’m sure the town has changed quite a bit. So, what do you do for fun, Jessie?” She eyed him as if he’d just asked her to walk through town naked, and he couldn’t help but grin at her wariness. “You do have fun, right?”
Jessie recovered and leaned back in her chair with a mocking grin as her eyes scanned his slacks and polo shirt. “I doubt you and I have the same ideas about what constitutes ‘fun.’ ”
“Enlighten me.” He leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest. Obviously, she’d already formed her impression of the man he’d become. “Broaden my deprived horizons.”
She narrowed her eyes at him speculatively. “You? Deprived? We both know you always get what you want.”
He knew he was putting his life into her hands, and he wondered if he wasn’t a fool for trusting her. She obviously wasn’t going to forgive him for the past, but he hoped this gesture of good faith would help her realize he could be trusted this time. Especially since he had no intention of doing anything either of them was going to regret. A smile tugged at the corners of her full lips. Damn, this woman had a pretty mouth, made for long nights of kissing. When she smiled, he could almost imagine what it would be like to take that bottom lip between his again and . . . He quickly halted the direction of his wayward imagination.
Their relationship had been a mistake before. He was only here for a week. Last time he’d been able to resist her almost three months before giving in. Surely a week wouldn’t be too hard, especially with the way she hated him now. The only problem was now he knew exactly what heaven he was missing.
She gave a short laugh and dread crept into his chest at the slightly wicked sound. “It’s still too early to go cow tipping or frog gigging.” Her eyes slid over his shirt and slacks. “And you’re a little over dressed for mud bogging.”
He cleared his throat and shifted in his chair nervously. “Frog what?”
She laughed out loud, looking far too sadistic for his liking. “Frog gigging. Hunting for frogs. To cook. What’s the matter, City Boy? Don’t tell me those fancy restaurants in New York have never served you frog’s legs?”
He felt the pizza churn in his stomach and worried he might have turned a shade green himself. “They have, but I’ve never really thought about hunting them.”
“Come on,” she said, hopping off the stool. “Let’s get this pizza wrapped up and we’ll figure out something more your speed. I have an idea.”
Jessie led them out the big wooden doors and dropped the box of pizza on the front seat of her truck. “Would you rather have dessert now or later?”
He found himself letting his eyes slide over her curves, hating himself for having something entirely different in mind. He quickly remembered Justin’s promise to kick his ass if he fell for Jessie, letting it cool any desire. And after their talk about hunting and eating frogs, he wasn’t too excited to add more food to his already queasy stomach.
“Let’s go with later.”
“Good, then let’s hit The Feed Lot first.”
“I thought we were forgoing food?”
“You’ll see.” Her blue eyes shimmered with what could only be called glee. He was intelligent enough to worry about what she was planning. “I’m trusting you,” he said as he slid a hand to her lower back, guiding her in front of him.
“That’s probably your first mistake.”
An amused smile pulled on one corner of her lips and a slow burn began in his belly, traveling lower, and settling there, chasing away any thoughts of Justin, the ranch, and his resolve to keep his feelings for her hidden.
She was the complete opposite of any woman he’d ever known, any woman allowed into his family’s elite circle. The women he’d dated were the antithesis of her. Too concerned with their figures to eat more than salad, none would have ever suggested pizza and ice cream. They wouldn’t be caught dead hunting frogs or mud bogging, whatever that was. The only mud that touched their skin was in a spa.
Jessie slung her purse over her shoulder, and he wondered how she could be such a tomboy yet so feminine at the same time. She might be dressed in jeans and a T-shirt, but with both hugging her body like they were tailored for her curves, there was no doubt she was all woman. The rhinestones on her clothes caught the late-afternoon sunlight, glinting almost as brightly as her eyes. He was having a difficult time remembering that she was off limits. She looked back at him over her shoulder, catching him checking out her backside.
She arched a brow, daring him to continue his perusal. “Last chance to cut and run.”
Nathan gave her a guilty grin. “And let you claim victory? No way.” He wondered at the sudden change in her mood. Seeing this playful side to Jessie was more captivating than he remembered. “Not as sure I trust you, though.”
“What if I promise it will only hurt your checkbook, and you’ll thank me later?”
“I’d say: I don’t think I believe you.”
“That’s probably smart.” She laughed, a genuine laugh that bubbled from within, and he couldn’t help but join her.
TWO HOURS AND several hundred dollars later, Nathan stood in front of her wearing a pair of new boots, Wranglers, and an emerald button-up shirt that reflected the golden flecks in his eyes. Jessie’s breath caught in her chest as she realized her mistake. In his normal attire, Nathan was handsome and polished, making it easy to remember how much the years had changed him, how he wasn’t her type any longer, and how much his leaving had hurt. By convincing him to buy clothing more practical for his stay on the ranch, she’d turned him from a good looking, city slicker into a gorgeous cowboy. Her heart raced as she handed him a straw hat she’d picked out to suit him. He gave her a wary glance before slipping it onto his head and facing the mirror.
Her eyes slid over the way shirt clung to him, making his already broad shoulders appear even more so, while his waist tapered to a narrow V. The pants clung to him, curving around his rear and thighs. Her mouth went dry, and she licked her lips as her pulse picked up speed.
Crap! What did I do?
Nathan caught the look of regret in her reflection. “I look completely asinine, don’t I?” She bit her lip, hard, to keep from blurting out the truth, and he laughed, assuming she agreed with his assessment. “I knew it.”
He couldn’t be more wrong. Jessie’s heart couldn’t take staying any longer. She made her escape as soon as the opportunity presented itself, needing to give herself a moment to rein in her stampeding heartbeat. “You need a belt,” she pointed out, turning away from his reflection and hurrying to the selection of belts and buckles.
This was not what she’d envisioned when she came up with the idea of getting him some new, practical clothing for his time on the ranch. She’d only intended to keep him from standing out, but this . . . holy crap, if her elevated heart rate and the tingles in her belly, and below, were any indication, this idea had backfired on her miserably. She had to get her head on straight.
Nathan was here to help her get the ranch back on the right track earning a profit and that was all. He never would have come back if Justin hadn’t called him. He was only doing a favor for a friend, nothing more. She didn’t need any more complications, and falling for this particular city boy was a complication of the worst kind.
Giving into her feelings for Nathan again wouldn’t just be stupid, it would be one step past crazy. He might look the part of a cowboy, now that he had new clothes, but that didn’t make him one. If she ever felt the need for a man in her life, it was going to be one who shared her love for horses and the ranch. Not the one who’d taken her young heart and hardened it. She needed a man to stick around for the long haul, not one who disappeared after a few weeks.
No, I don’t need a man at all.
She reached for a leather belt in his size and carried it back to him. Nathan spun toward her and reached out to take it. His hand brushed over hers, and her heart actually stopped for a moment. Damn! Just when she’d gotten it back under control.
At least Julia and Bailey could thank her for the eye-candy when they returned to the ranch.
Nathan narrowed his eyes, and she wondered if he wasn’t trying to read her mind. “You okay? You look a little flushed.”
“I’m fine,” she answered quickly, too quickly. “When you’re done, you should pick out a few more shirts. I’ll be over by the tack.”
He arched a brow, skepticism written on his face. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
She clenched her jaw, willing her heart to slow down and her breathing to normalize. He was just a man, for goodness sake.
“I said I’m fine. It’s just hot in here.” Jessie spun on her heel, hurrying across The Feed Lot to the wall of saddles, bridles, and cinches. Anything that might put a little space between her and this man who made her feel like she was on a roller coaster—dizzy, breathless, and like she’d completely lost all control of her senses.
NATHAN WATCHED JESSIE as she leaned back on one arm beside him on the grass, licking the ice cream dripping down the side of her waffle cone. She was watching several boys playing basketball on a nearby court, as the sun dipped low in the evening sky. What in the world had he been thinking, suggesting they get ice cream and take it to the park?
Watching her eat the cone was the sexiest thing he’d ever seen. Other than that look Jessie gave him when he tried on the clothing at the western-wear store. When her blue eyes darkened, he’d wanted to drown in the hunger he saw there, to bury his hands in her dark hair, and to cover her mouth with his. Time hadn’t changed the way he felt about Jessie. It was all he could to stop himself from licking the sweetness from her lips.
He needed to regain his restraint, and quickly, because if she realized the path his thoughts were taking, she’d castrate him the way she planned to do that stallion. Nathan shifted, trying to find a measure of comfort in these new jeans, but it felt like his balls were being crushed in a vice. He wasn’t sure if it was the way they were cut or his body’s response to watching her eat the ice cream, but he felt like the circulation to his brain was being cut off.
An image flashed through his mind of what he would look like when Justin finished with him if he found out about the fantasies Nathan was having about his sister. It worked almost as well as a bucket of ice water. Guilt welled up, cooling his desire. He’d only begun to regain a little of Jessie’s trust, but Justin was relying him, and he knew how he’d feel if the roles were reversed.
He took a bite of his cone and turned his attention to another group of kids playing on the swings nearby. “What’s with the foster kids at the ranch?”
“Who? Aleta and Michael?” She followed his gaze and smiled at the kids’ antics, laughing as they watched one young boy twist the chain of the swing before letting it spin free.
“He told me to call him Ice, but yeah.”
“Aleta’s foster mom was a friend of Mom’s, and she’s seen how much working with the horses has helped Aleta’s attitude. Michael . . . ” Jessie sighed. “Michael’s a different story. Like Aleta, he’s a foster kid, but Ellie’s one of my best friends. She’s desperately trying to find anything to keep him away from the gang that got ahold of his older brother, who’s now in jail again.”
“Parents?”
“Both dead. His brother had guardianship. It’s a bad situation because he idolized his brother.”
Nathan shook his head. “What about Aleta’s parents?”
“Her mom’s in jail, and no one knows anything about her father.”
He finished off his cone, popping the last bite into his mouth. Jessie was such a contradiction—tough as nails with a heart as soft as a down pillow. “You have a thing for what other people throw away, don’t you?”
“What are you talking about?” She stopped watching the kids and looked over at him, frowning.
He leaned back on his hands, straightening his legs and crossing his booted ankles in front of him, staring across the lawn to where kids continued to play. “There’s the abused horses, the foster kids.” He met her gaze and gave her a knowing smile. “Don’t think I didn’t see you salivating over that hutch in the thrift shop a little while ago.”
Her brows sagged, and he hated to think he was the one who’d caused the change in her lighthearted mood. “It’s a good thing, Jess. Something most people wouldn’t even think about.” He moved his finger to touch the back of her hand lying flat against the grass. He felt the instant spark of arousal but wasn’t sure which of them felt it more.
She moved her hand away from his and sat up. “I . . . I just . . . ”
He chuckled quietly, shaking his head. “You’re as uncomfortable accepting a compliment as I feel in these clothes.”
He saw a shy smile spread over her lips and felt relief course through him that she hadn’t tried to hide behind her armor again. Since dinner, they’d been able to keep this evening on an easy-going, friendly playing field, and he hoped it would make the coming days easier, especially when he had to push her to make some difficult decisions. If she didn’t trust him, any advice he offered would fall on deaf ears.
“We should probably head back,” she suggested, rising and tossing what was left of her cone into a nearby garbage can before making her way toward the water fountain.
He knew she was right. They should get back to the ranch, where there were plenty of eyes to watch their every move and keep him honest. Not to mention work he was supposed to be doing for her. But he was enjoying the time with her, and it had been a long time, a very long time, since he’d allowed himself any opportunity to have fun.
But for the first time in years, he felt free. Fully alive. He wasn’t sure why Jessie was able to draw this out of him, but he wasn’t quite ready to let it go and get back to his usual boring routine.
“I thought you were going to show me fun,” he teased. She eyed him suspiciously. “Don’t get me wrong. This is fun, but Justin said I’d missed out growing up in the city. I don’t know if this qualifies as ‘missing out.’ ”
She washed her hands in the water from the fountain and dried them on her denim-clad thighs, giving him a sideways glance. “Is that a challenge, Nathan?”
He grinned and shrugged. “I guess it might be.” He loved the way his name fell from her lips. It was the first time she’d used it instead of the stupid nickname Bailey had given him, and he wanted to hear it again—as a soft sigh.
“Then we should get back to the truck because I’m about to show you something you’ll never find in city limits.” In his frame of mind, Nathan couldn’t help but imagine all sorts of things he wanted to see from her. He had no idea what she had in mind, but if it meant spending more time looking at those blue eyes, seeing that smile on her lips and the humor lighting up her face, he’d do just about anything short of frog gigging.