While she’s walking home, Ava calls the zoo. After being on hold for ages, she gets put through to “Animal Recovery.” At first they are reluctant to talk to her. Apparently people phone them all the time wanting to give them their unwanted parrots. Ava feels bad. Poor parrots.
The person on the other end asks Ava what type of parrot she has. “Um. I’m not sure…” What the heck did the delivery guy call it? “Oh! I remember. It’s an African gray. That’s it!”
“Interesting. We actually are looking for an African gray. Our zoo doesn’t have one. They are terrific mimics.” The guy laughs as if he’s said something funny. “Can your parrot mimic?”
“Talk, you mean? Yes. Yes! He definitely can. Does that mean you want him?”
“Okay. Well, maybe. We will have to set up a time with our bird specialist.”
A bird specialist? What a horrible job, thinks Ava. “Great,” she says.
“Someone could come by later this week.”
“Later this week? Not today?” Ava asks.
“Not today, no. We’re all booked up. Sorry.”
Ava gives the man her contact details, then ends the call. She expects to feel better, but she feels miserable. And itʼs a miserable, cold afternoon.
When Ava gets home neither Gregg nor her mom is there. She slumps on the living-room sofa. Normally on Mondays she works out with an online class. But she just can’t be bothered today. She sighs.
The living room is very clean and tidy. The whole house is like that. It used to be full of stuff, regular “people live here” stuff like books and knickknacks and framed photographs. But after their dad left, their mom got obsessed with “decluttering.” She has always been tidy. She has always been a perfectionist. But before, everything in their house was cozy and beautiful. Suddenly their mom got into reading blogs and watching videos about the minimalist lifestyle. Then she got rid of anything Dad had left behind. But she also got rid of the “art” that Ava and Gregg had made when they were little. She donated all the books. She cleared away all the little keepsakes that had decorated the windowsills and shelves. Now, to Ava, the house feels empty and lonely. But her mom says it makes her feel peaceful. She says this is how the house was always meant to be.
Ava messages her dad.
Hey, Dad. How’s it going?
Good. Missing my girl.
Maybe you could come back for a visit soon?
There is no answer for a while. Then her phone blips.
We’ll have to see, Ava. Things are busy with my new job. I’m sorry, baby girl. I do miss you.
Sure, Ava thinks. If he were missing her, maybe he shouldn’t have moved to Vancouver with his girlfriend. Sometimes she wants to see him so badly, she gets mad at herself. And it seems like every time she contacts him, she ends up feeling worse.
She hears the bird screeching from her room. “MONKEY! MONKEY! MONKEY!”
Argh. The last thing Ava needs right now is Mervin. She stomps into the kitchen and makes herself a protein drink. Another one of their mom’s new fads. Super-healthy eating. She was even into cleanses for a while. Gross. Ava hated that. Now there is never anything decent to eat in the house. But this protein drink tastes pretty good—vanilla chai.
She takes a selfie, holding the drink awkwardly in one hand. After three or four shots, she gets a picture that looks okay.
A post-workout drink. I love getting healthy. Life couldn’t be better. #getfit #lifegoals #proteinshake #lovinglife
Okay. She knows she’s lying about working out. But posting how her day should have gone makes her feel better. Tomorrow she’ll exercise. For sure.
@musicloves Where’s the parrot, girl?
@tothemoon We want Mervin!
How is that amazing bird today? #loveyourfeed #wherearemervinandavapics?
@melindaflor happy to talk to you about parrots
Ava lets out a scream of frustration. She chucks her phone onto the sofa. She hears a scream from her bedroom. Just like her scream.
The stupid parrot! He is copying her. Again.
She flings open her bedroom door. Her room stinks! It smells like straw and feathers and bird poop. She gags.
“You are a gross bird!”
“GROSS BIRD,” Mervin replies. He cocks his head.
“You have ruined my life!”
“RUINED MY LIFE!” Mervin repeats.
Even though she knows he’s only saying what he hears, she wonders if it’s true. Has she ruined Mervin’s life? His life has been turned upside down too. One day he was living with his beloved Bertie. And then suddenly he was here. In a new house. With new people.
Ava softens her voice. “Poor bird. It’s been a big change for you too.”
Mervin opens his beak and lets out a loud laugh. It’s Gregg’s laugh. He has copied it perfectly. Mervin laughs over and over. It’s like Gregg is in the room. Argh. Just when Ava was starting to feel sorry for the horrid bird, he does something like that.
“Well,” she says, “you don’t need to worry. Our nightmare is going to be over soon. I called the zoo. So you better behave when they come to do an inspection. If all goes well, they’ll take you away. And both of us will be happy.” Ava stops talking. What is she doing, talking to this parrot like he can understand her?
Her phone buzzes. It is Kim B. texting.
I thought you were done with posting parrot pictures. Gross.
I am done! Ava replies.
What’s this then? @avaandmervin
Oh no. What is going on? Ava opens up her social media and discovers both parrot pictures from yesterday under the name AvaandMervin. Oh my god! Gregg must have created the account. And it already has over 3,000 followers!
She checks her own feed. She has been unfollowed by lots of people. She has only 521 followers now. Fewer than she had before Mervin arrived!
She calls Gregg. She can hear his phone ringing somewhere in the house. He must be home.
“What are you doing?” she yells, both into the phone and into the air.
He sticks his head around her doorway. He is holding his phone. “You’re calling me?” His eyes are dancing. He is trying hard not to laugh. If Ava had something in her hand other than her phone, she would throw it at his annoying face.
“Why would you set up a social media feed about me and the parrot? Are you trying to ruin my life?”
“Little sister, I’m doing you a favor. You just don’t realize it yet.”
He walks across her room to Mervin’s cage. “You’re a good-looking guy,” he says to the bird.
“GOOD-LOOKING GUY!” the bird replies.
Gregg laughs.
The bird mimics him. Laughing.
“Get out of my room!” shouts Ava.
“GET OUT, GET OUT!” Mervin yells.
Gregg leans forward and opens the cage.
“NO!” Ava shouts. “What are you doing?”
But it’s too late. Mervin is out of the cage and flapping around the room. Laughing like Gregg.
Ava screams. Gregg has his phone out. It looks like he is filming. She lunges at him. Mervin swoops by.
Mervin lands on Ava’s bookshelf. He scrabbles at the wood with his clawed feet. He knocks over a ceramic sculpture her mom put there. It shatters on the floor.
Then Mervin poops. “MONKEY IDIOT!” he yells.
Ava can’t get the phone away from Gregg. He holds it up like he’s still filming. She tries to calm herself. People could be watching this right now. Like, lots of people.
“So,” she says, plastering on a fake smile, “if any of you have any advice on what to do to help me get Mervin back into his cage, I’d love to hear it.”
Gregg hoots with laughter. “You are, like, the Parrot Girl! Oooh. Melinda Flores is watching, and she says, Try offering him a treat.”
Ava realizes that advice is from the new girl in class. She grits her teeth. “What a wonderful idea,” she says sweetly. “What sort of treat does a parrot eat?”
“You even rhyme!” Gregg cries. “Keep it up, little sister. This is internet gold! Melinda writes, Peanuts might work.”
Ava keeps her fake smile on and marches from her room. Gregg follows. She keeps her back to him. And she doesn’t scream when the bird flaps over her head. Mervin is coming along too.
“MONKEY IDIOT!” Mervin screams.
Ava is going to find some peanuts and try to end this nightmare.