Jason quickly became obsessed with Lydia. She did end up talking to him during the workday on Thursday, and they were able to talk after work as well. It was busier on Friday, but they still found the time to talk especially after their shifts were over. He typically got done before the waitresses did, but he decided to take longer just so he could finish around the same time she did.
On Friday after work, they ended up getting into some pretty heavy topics. They were talking about a movie they both liked, and then it led to a discussion about the death penalty and religion.
“If you ask me, I don’t think they give the death penalty out enough,” Jason said.
“I know. They’ve only executed like three people in Pennsylvania since the seventies back when they reinstated the death penalty,” Lydia said.
“That’s so ridiculous. Meanwhile, how many murders have there been?”
“A lot more than three!”
“It makes you want to move to Texas. Or Ohio.”
“Yeah, and I hate when people say two wrongs don’t make a right. The person who murdered someone in the first place is the one in the wrong. Killing them is justice. It’s not wrong so that’s a bunch of crap.”
“Seriously, or how ’bout it doesn’t bring the person back? That may be true, but it sure as hell would make me feel better if someone in my family got killed. I would want to kill the person myself. And I hate how they try to make it painless for them with lethal injection. There could be a serial killer who tortured and killed people, and then they would worry about whether or not the asshole feels any pain before he dies.”
“I know. It’s like they care more about the murderers than the victims. And I get the whole argument how you wouldn’t want to execute someone in case they ended up being innocent. But that’s why they should only do it if there is no doubt, and they are one hundred percent positive.”
“Yeah, otherwise they could just rot in prison.”
“Watching cable TV.”
He snickered.
“And don’t you love the super religious people who say God wouldn’t want us to take a life? Leave it up to him,” Lydia said.
“Yeah, that’s a whole lot of bullshit. I can’t stand people like that.”
“I take it you’re not religious?”
“Not at all. I don’t believe in God. What about you?”
“Nope. I was raised Presbyterian, but I lost my faith a long time ago.”
“Yeah, me too. My grandmother used to take me to church once in awhile, but that was so long ago. I guess I believe more in science, you know where there’s actual proof.”
“I know, right? If there is a God, why doesn’t he ever say anything? Why wouldn’t he show himself? You have to have faith, but how is faith a virtue? You could be a child molester, but as long as you repent and believe, then you’ll still go to Heaven. Meanwhile, someone who’s a good person but just doesn’t believe in God goes to Hell. That makes no sense.”
“But Lydia, God works in mysterious ways,” Jason said, mockingly.
“That’s another way to say God is an asshole who allows horrible things on this earth to happen, but we can’t say that so we’ll just say he works in mysterious ways.”
He laughed. “It’s such bullshit, but people still believe in it.”
“Yeah, they believe in it so much that it causes wars and genocide. It’s awful. I mean, I’m not trying to knock people’s faith. Honestly, if that’s what they believe, that’s nice. Good for them, but it’s when they try to shove it in your face…”
“And knock on your door.”
“Or blow up buildings.”
“Seriously. I mean, I guess you never really know. No one knows until they’re dead, and even then…”
“Yeah, and it’s not like they can tell us,” Lydia said.
Then Val showed up, and it was time for them to say goodbye.
At work the next day, he couldn’t stop thinking about Lydia or staring at her. He was afraid that she would notice or that someone else would notice. He daydreamed about her and imagined what it would be like to be with her. He kept trying to come up with the courage to ask her out. He had to think of the right thing to say. He had to think of the right place to take her. Should he just take her to dinner and a movie, or was that too typical? Should he do something different? Take her to the city, to a nice museum there perhaps?
But what if she said no? Not only would they then be awkward around each other since they have to work together, but he was pretty sure he would be devastated. After all, they seemed to really connect with each other. When Jason was normally shy and unsure of what to say around people he didn’t know that well, he was easily able to talk to her. She made him feel comfortable, and they seemed to have so much in common. They had similar taste in music, they were both movie buffs, and they seemed to share a lot of the same ideas in regards to politics, religion, and otherwise. But there was also enough different about them where he didn’t think they would get bored of each other.
But if he didn’t ask her out at all, then nothing would happen. And as much as he liked being her friend, he also knew that wasn’t enough. But on that Saturday at work, the decision was made for him. He overheard Shannon talking to Lydia.
“So, how’s it going with you and Ryan?” Shannon asked her.
“It’s going well. As a matter of fact, he’s picking me up after work tonight, and we’re going to a Halloween party at his friend’s place. It should be a lot of fun.”
“Awesome. You’re so lucky. Ryan’s such a hottie.”
Lydia never mentioned she had a boyfriend. Of course he had never asked, but he would have thought that she would have at least brought him up once. But she didn’t at all. So how should he take that? He was already feeling devastated just knowing that she had a boyfriend, but the fact that she didn’t talk about him at all could mean they weren’t really all that serious. And maybe she didn’t bring him up because she liked Jason and didn’t want him to know she had a boyfriend. But then she didn’t seem to be the type to cheat, not to mention he wouldn’t want to be with her if she did. But maybe she wanted to see how things would go between them and would break it off with Ryan if she thought they had a shot. If he had already asked her out, then maybe… But he couldn’t ask her out now knowing that she is with someone. That wouldn’t be right.
They weren’t living together so they probably weren’t serious. Maybe they just started dating, and it wouldn’t go anywhere anyway. Maybe he shouldn’t panic just yet. But he knew it would still bother him, and he felt his chance with her rapidly declining. She said it was going well between them. Her friend called her lucky because he’s a “hottie.” Jason highly doubted anyone ever referred to him as a hottie. So why would she want to be with him when she already had someone better looking? Not that he found Lydia to be shallow or anything, but she is human. He was attracted to her in the first place because of her appearance.
He felt on edge the rest of the night, but Lydia still treated him the same. She probably did just think of him as a friend, someone that she just started working with. Nothing more. How could he ever think this would be anything else? How could he ever start to feel any hope in his life—any hope that he would meet the right girl so that he wouldn’t be alone anymore?
After work, Lydia left before he had a chance to talk to her. This Ryan guy must be more punctual than her roommate when it came to picking her up. He was glad because he didn’t want to have to see him anyway. He was tempted to go to the bar to have a drink, but he decided to just go home and drink there instead.
He felt disappointment crashing in on him as he drove home, driving down the winding roads. The houses and trees surrounding him were being quickly sketched and then erased as he drove past. He realized since he met Lydia, the depression that normally haunted him seemed to linger further and further away. But now that he knew she wasn’t single, he could feel the depression crawling back inside, taking its place exactly where it belongs.
All those thoughts of suicide that kept taunting him were in full force. After Amy broke up with him, he was tempted to down a bottle of aspirin, slit his wrists, or drive his car off a bridge. He ended up doing none of those things, and he started to feel a little better. But lately, he just felt himself getting worse, and now he didn’t know how much longer he would be able to live like this.
He drank so much that night that he threw up the following morning and had a headache most of the day. It was Halloween, but none of the waitresses ended up wearing costumes. Rachel was supposed to work today, but she switched days with Shannon. Lydia had off today, which he was slightly relieved about. But he also felt lonely again at work since she was the only one that really talked to him. Business was slow since it was Halloween so he would have been able to talk to her a lot today.
Instead, it was just Shannon, Elaine, and Dana. Dana was a woman in her thirties who just had a baby about six months ago and a three year old so she only worked part time. Dana drove everyone crazy because she was so stupid. He felt bad thinking that because she seemed like a nice enough person, but it was as if she was missing some very vital pieces of her brain. She was constantly screwing up orders, and then she would get so upset and act as if it wasn’t her fault. She also wore these trendy plastic framed glasses that made her look smart until she opened up her mouth.
Fortunately, Dana was leaving early so she could take her three year old trick-or-treating tonight. She was still grumbling about having to work at all today.
Jason felt like crap from his hangover so he just wished she would shut up. Even though she wasn’t talking to him, he could hear her loud mouth from all the way across the kitchen. She always talked as if she was trying to shout over a noisy crowd.
“I just hope it’s not too cold for him tonight. Why can’t Halloween be earlier in October?” Dana whined.
“I’m sure he’ll be fine. What’s his costume?” Elaine asked.
“It’s a dragon costume. It’s so cute, and he absolutely loves it.”
“Aww, that sounds adorable,” Elaine said.
Shannon came back to the kitchen to grab some straws and a fresh pot of coffee.
“Dana, table 4 wants their check,” Shannon told her.
“Oh crap. I still need to finish writing it up.”
“Make sure you use a calculator,” Shannon teased her, knowing how often she messes up.
He kept thinking about Lydia and how she had gone to a Halloween party last night. He wondered what she had worn. But then he remembered that she had gone to the party with someone else. It made him want to drink more, only the thought of drinking now just made him nauseous.
It rained that night on his way home. He loved the sound of the rain pounding on the windows and the roof of his car. He wished it would thunder and lightning too, but it was just a steady rain that eventually turned into a light sprinkle. He grimaced at the sight of a dead deer on the side of the road near his apartment. When he got home, he ended up drinking again anyway. It was the only thing that would make him feel better. It would temporarily delete the feelings of dread and hopelessness. Everything seemed crisper and easier to handle because it made him just not give a fuck.
When he saw Lydia at work on Tuesday, he decided to try to not let the fact that she had a boyfriend upset him. It still did anyway, but he craved being around her regardless. He asked her how her Halloween was.
“Oh, it was good. I mean, I didn’t do much on Halloween, but I did go to a party the night before. I live in an apartment complex, so we don’t really get any trick-or-treaters.”
“Yeah, I live in an apartment too so I don’t get any trick-or-treaters either. Not that I was home, but it wouldn’t have mattered anyway.”
“It’s such a bummer. I grew up in a townhouse. We used to get tons of trick-or-treaters. Of course that’s back when I used to go out trick-or-treating too. But when I got older, I used to love giving out candy. Oh well. I’ll just have to buy a house someday in a neighborhood with a lot of kids.” She smiled.
God, how I would love to buy that house with you.
“So did you dress up for the party?” he asked her.
“Yeah, I was—well, I ended up just being a dead person. I put some white makeup on and some fake blood. My boyfriend, Ryan, made my neck look like it got slashed. It came out pretty good.”
“Cool.” So now she mentions him. He did like the sound of her costume. Although he was hoping to picture her in some slutty outfit, it sounded like she appreciated the scary aspect of Halloween instead. Of course she still could have worn something revealing… He doubted she would dress up as whore-like as Rachel though.
“What about you? Did you wear a costume to work?”
“No.”
“And why not? I thought you liked Halloween.”
“I do, but I don’t wear costumes. God, I can’t remember the last time I did. I just watched the movie Halloween when I got home.”
“Which one? The new one or the old one?”
“The new one.”
“I loved that version! I mean, I loved the original too, of course, but I thought they did a great job with that.”
“Yeah, me too. It was definitely more brutal.”
Janet came back to the kitchen to let Lydia know she had a new table. She smiled at Jason as she left to go tend to her customers.
Since it was Tuesday, it was another slow night so he and Lydia spoke to each other a lot. He wished he could ask her out, but he still felt good being with her. And she didn’t talk about Ryan that much so they must not be very serious.
He learned that he loved to watch her scoop ice cream out of the big tubs. She had to bend down so he could see her cleavage and her breasts jiggling as she scooped. He admired her from afar, hoping she wouldn’t notice.
The next morning, he woke up with a sore throat. After a couple of days, he had a full blown cold. His nose was so stuffed up he could barely breathe, his eyes were watering, and he kept sneezing. He felt awful, but he still went to work anyway. He just took extra precaution when preparing food. He constantly washed his hands and would always sneeze into his sleeve so he wouldn’t spread his germs everywhere.
He had taken some cold medications, but they didn’t seem to help. His head felt so congested, and he wished the night at work would go by faster so he could go to bed.
Finally, when it was the end of the night, Lydia patted him on the back.
“I hope you’re feeling better soon,” she said.
“Thanks.”
“You better get some rest. And make sure you drink some orange juice and have some chicken noodle soup or something.”
He nodded. “Yes, Mom.”
She laughed. “I’m serious. You need the Vitamin C, and the hot broth in soup will help break everything down so you don’t end up with a sinus infection or bronchitis. You should probably get some kind of a decongestant too. That will also help.”
“Okay, I gotchya.”
She had already gotten her car back from the shop at the beginning of the week so she would no longer be waiting around outside for a ride. They told each other to have a good night, and Jason decided to take her advice. He drove to the store and picked up some orange juice, a couple cans of soup, and a nasal decongestant. He then looked for some good smelling aftershave and deodorant. After picking out something he liked, he also grabbed a bottle of shampoo, some mouthwash, and soap. The nice part about shopping at night was that it was never crowded. There was no line at the check-out so he got what he needed, paid for it, and left. He didn’t have to wait.
Time flew by as it always does, and it was already the Monday before Thanksgiving. Jason’s only day off that week was on Tuesday, but his sister and her family were coming down Wednesday night to spend the holiday with her in-laws. They would be staying through Sunday, so Melanie was hoping to see Jason as well. She had told Jason about it a couple weeks ago, but she just now called him again to see when they could get together.
“I’m sorry, Mel, but I’m working the entire time you’ll be here. So I don’t think I’ll be able to see you guys.”
She sighed heavily. “You knew I was coming on Wednesday. Couldn’t you have at least taken off then? I know Barry won’t let you have off on Thanksgiving, and God forbid you have off on a Friday or Saturday. But couldn’t you take off on Wednesday or even Sunday? Or are Sundays out of the question too?”
“I always work Sundays. And I would have taken off on Wednesday, but we’re always busy the day before Thanksgiving since most people have off on the holiday. So I know he wouldn’t let me have the day off then.”
“Can’t you at least ask?”
“Well, it’s too late now. I have off tomorrow.”
“Do you not ever want to see your family? How is Ariel ever going to get to know you if you don’t ever see her? You couldn’t even stay the whole time for her birthday party!”
“Hey, it’s not my fault you moved all the way out to Pittsburgh.” He hated when she made him feel guilty when there were certainly a lot of factors here out of his control.
“Look, I wasn’t happy about moving out here either. But we had to for Dave’s job. And it’s not like we don’t ever come to visit. I think we come see everyone a decent amount still. But I always end up seeing my in-laws, practically all of Dave’s family, and even Amy way more than I ever see you.”
“I am so sorry I have to work, and I don’t have a Monday through Friday nine-to-five job like everyone else. Jesus Christ.”
“It’s not that. It’s the fact that you only get one day off a week, and on the days you work, you work so many hours that you can’t do much else.”
“Well, I go to work at ten AM and get done anywhere between ten-thirty and twelve at night so you can always come over either before ten in the morning or after midnight. It’s up to you. Although, I’d really prefer if you didn’t come over in the morning because I’ll probably still be sleeping since I don’t usually go to bed until two or three in the morning.” The sarcasm in his tone was extremely evident, but his sister acted as if he were being serious.
“I am not coming over after midnight especially when I said I want you to see Ariel more, and there is no way I’m taking a thirteen month old baby out that late.”
“Well, then I guess I won’t see you for Thanksgiving.”
“Do you even care?”
Now he was really starting to get angry.
“Oh my God, Melanie, what part don’t you understand? I have to fucking work. I have a job. That may not be a concept you understand, but in order to make money so I can pay my bills, I have to go to fucking work when I am told to go to fucking work. And I can’t just take off whenever I fucking want.”
“Excuse me? You think I don’t work? I may be stay-at-home mom, but I take care of my daughter, and I cook and I clean. I am always at work. 24/7. And even before I had Ariel, I worked at the hair salon. But I also had a life, and I took the time to do other stuff besides work.”
“I’m not saying you don’t work, but you don’t have a job where you have to be somewhere at a certain time, and you have to stay there until a certain time. You can go places and take Ariel with you. You can put her down for a nap and relax if you want. You don’t have a boss breathing down your neck all the time to get shit done.”
“Fuck you, Jason. I am constantly busy even when Ariel’s napping. I always have a million things to do. You know what, I don’t care anymore. If you want to waste your life working at Barry’s, go right ahead. I mean, I know you hate it there so any normal person would try to find another job that they didn’t hate and where they didn’t have to work so much. But if you want to continue to be miserable, that’s fine by me. As a matter of fact, why don’t you work every single day? Why do you even need a day off at all? It’s not like you ever do anything. It’s not like you have a girlfriend or go out with friends or anything. So go right ahead. Instead of being a miserable alcoholic like Dad, you’ll be a miserable workaholic. And you’ll grow old and die alone.”
“You are such a bitch.”
“And you’re an asshole.”
Then she hung up on him.
So he didn’t end up seeing his sister and her family for Thanksgiving.