All day long on Christmas Eve, Jason kept thinking about when would be a good time to give Lydia her gift. He would have to wait until the end of the night when no one else was around since he didn’t get anyone else anything. But then he worried that she would leave before he had a chance to, or that she would be around a bunch of the other girls on the way out.
Business was steady today. There was a decent amount of people out and about doing last minute shopping, but there were also a lot of people who had dinner plans at home for the holiday. So it wasn’t slow, and it wasn’t super busy. If every day was like this, he might not mind working here so much. And tomorrow was Christmas, which just so happened to land on a Saturday. This would be the first Saturday he had off in a very long time.
As he cooked up a cheeseburger for one of Lydia’s orders, he thought about what she said. How he made the best burger her customer ever had and what an awesome cook he was. He didn’t think he was an awesome cook, but he did hear a lot of positive feedback when it came to how his food turned out. It was a hard job, and he really had to multi-task well so he didn’t screw anything up. He certainly had made a lot of mistakes throughout the years especially when he first started out. But he had been doing it for so long now that it all came naturally to him. He just got a feel for when something was finished cooking. He had a mental timer in his head that almost always ensured that he cooked something enough but not too much. And he also made sure that everything was seasoned just right with the perfect amount of spices. It was definitely a delicate balance.
The cheese sizzled on top of the burger, and he knew it was ready to go.
But he was just a cook, not a chef. He wasn’t good enough to work in a fancy, five-star restaurant or a restaurant with any stars at all. That’s why he was here. This was a job, not a career. He had thought about applying to better restaurants before, but he knew he wasn’t qualified enough. He didn’t go to a prestigious culinary school. He just took classes in high school and got training on the job.
He lucked out at the end of the night. The kitchen was clear except for one of the dishwashers who was busy mopping the floor.
Lydia walked up to him and handed him a wrapped gift.
“Merry Christmas,” she said.
“You didn’t have to get me anything! Wait a sec—I got you something too.” He walked over to the area where he kept his keys and his cigarettes, which was just a small space on a shelf. He picked up her gift and brought it back to her.
She smiled. “Thanks, Jason. Well, go ahead. Open your gift.”
“You first.”
“Same time.”
“Okay.”
They both ripped open the wrapping paper. Jason watched Lydia’s eyes light up as she saw the wind chimes.
“Oh my God! I love wind chimes! They’re so pretty! Thank you so much!”
“You’re welcome. I’m glad you like them.”
She had gotten him a movie pack that had all of the Nightmare on Elm Street DVDs.
“I hope you don’t already have them, but I know how much you love horror. And this has every single one so I figured even if you have a couple, this way, you’ll have the whole collection.”
“I actually don’t have them—I think I have the first one, but it’s probably still on VHS. This is awesome. Thank you.”
She giggled, glad to hear he didn’t own them already.
He surprised himself by saying, “You should come over sometime and watch them with me.” Right away, he regretted saying it, wondering what in the hell he was thinking.
But she responded by saying, “Yeah, definitely. That would be awesome.” Then she gave him a hug. “Merry Christmas, Jason.”
“Merry Christmas.”
“Are you doing anything special for the holidays?” she asked him.
“I’m just going to see my sister and her husband’s family tomorrow. That’s about it. How ’bout you?”
“I have a bunch of family things to go to. I’m going to see Ryan’s family too so it will be very busy…”
Just when he was beginning to get his hopes up. They had such a great time the other night, just the two of them. And now they were even exchanging Christmas presents. He honestly didn’t even expect her to get him anything, and seeing that she did made him think maybe she did like him as more than a friend. She even sounded genuinely interested in watching the movies with him. But now, even though she said they weren’t that serious, she was going to see Ryan’s family for Christmas. It still might not mean anything, but it was definitely a bit crushing.
He should have known. It’s not like anything ever does work out well in his life.
Maybe he should just tell her how he feels. Forget the fact that she has a boyfriend. Just tell her how much he’s falling in love with her and then leave the rest up to her. What did he have to lose? Of course he worried that she would say she didn’t think of him that way, that she’s with Ryan, and she couldn’t see anything happening between them. And then their friendship would be awkward, and she might stop talking to him. And then he’d be back to feeling as alone at work as he did before.
And she would probably tell all of the other waitresses, and they would think he was even more of a loser than they already did.
“Oh, how did your exams go?” he asked her, trying to fill the awkward void after she mentioned Ryan.
“They went well, actually. I’m so glad they’re done. Now I have about a month off, thank God.”
“That’s awesome.”
“Well, I better get home. I’m exhausted, and I still have a bunch of Christmas presents to wrap,” Lydia said.
“That sucks. Well, good night. Merry Christmas. I’ll see you next week.”
“Yup, I’ll see you soon. Have a nice Christmas!”
He walked out to his car, not sure how to feel. He kept thinking that if she wasn’t with Ryan, they would be together. But she was with Ryan, and maybe it was more serious than what she told him. But then why would she act as if it weren’t? Did that mean something too?
He looked up and saw a plane in the sky. He wondered where they were going, and he wished he could go where ever it was. At least it would be away from here. And if only he could bring Lydia with him…
On Christmas, Jason got the pleasure of spending it with Dave’s family. There were aunts and uncles, cousins, Dave’s brothers and their spouses, and all of their kids. Apparently, most people in his family had Christmas morning at home but then came to Barbara and George’s house for dinner.
The artificial Christmas tree in the living room was huge, decorated with blue and silver balls, white lights, and wrap around tinsel. There was an angel on top that changed colors, and there were presents crowded underneath the tree and surrounding it.
Jason really wanted to leave early, but he didn’t feel like hearing his sister bitch at him again. At Melanie’s request, he brought macaroni and cheese again. It went well with the pot roast and mashed potatoes.
Aside from feeling like an outsider, he felt so bitter and angry. He hated to admit that he felt this way, but he decided it was impossible not to. He was surrounded by people who always had everything they ever needed and wanted and then some. He was certain they all had problems just like everyone else, but he felt like they had no idea what it was like to go without. So many of these kids were spoiled; a lot of them went to private schools or to expensive universities, and they would be given nice cars once they turned sixteen. Their parents all had good jobs, and they doted on their children and acted as if they were the most special kids in the world. There was so much bragging—“my daughter is at the top of her class,” “my son just got a scholarship for being such a great hockey player…” They were planning trips to Europe, they were adding on additions to their already large homes, they had hot tubs and in-ground swimming pools… How in the hell did Melanie end up with someone like Dave?
He often wondered if that was why Amy left him. Amy saw how well Melanie was living since she was with someone who had a successful career. She got stuck with her poor brother.
He figured none of these kids knew how lucky they were, how good they have it. How would they know? The only people they could compare themselves to were their friends who were probably just as wealthy. And after all, none of us has a choice in how our lives will be growing up, whether or not our parents have money or whether or not they treat us well. He just got screwed. That doesn’t mean he should hate others for having it better than he did. The only time he really disliked them was when they treated him as if they were better than him because he was lower class, which a lot of the people here did.
And while watching these kids on Christmas, he couldn’t help but remember what his Christmases were like growing up. They weren’t all bad. He had quite a few happy memories at Christmas with his grandmother. But there were also a few years that his dad wasn’t talking to her so they wouldn’t see her. Melanie, of course, lived with her so she never had to worry about that. But Jason remembered waking up on Christmas morning to nothing. There were no presents under the tree—there was no tree. His father wouldn’t even wake up. He would watch Christmas movies on TV where kids actually had a Christmas with a normal family, and he wished he were one of them. Sometimes his father would realize that it was Christmas and would get him a small gift later on, and other times he would be too trashed to care.
After his grandmother died, there were never any good Christmases. Melanie would usually end up going to a friend’s house before she met Dave.
So how could he not be bitter around the holidays? Or in general?
And let’s not forget about birthdays. How many birthdays did he have where there was no cake, no presents, and no one to even wish him a happy birthday?
Now, he sat here wishing he didn’t have to be around these people, wishing he could be with Lydia and her family. He couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that she was with Ryan for Christmas.
He enjoyed watching Melanie help Ariel open her gifts. Beyond that, he just didn’t give a shit. Several people kept telling him they were sorry for his loss. He could tell his sister was really milking this since this was the first time she saw the extended family after their father’s death.
Melanie and Barbara loved the ornaments he got them just as he knew they would. They also told him he shouldn’t have when they saw the gift cards in the card envelope. Most of the time Jason sat there bored while everyone oohed and aahed over the gifts that were being opened. Lots of thank yous and hugs. Jason just wanted to escape down to the basement where the dog was.
The most awkward moment was when Melanie and Barbara gave him gifts to open. He felt uncomfortable opening up anything around these people that weren’t even his family. Melanie and Dave got him a new dock for his MP3 player that had much better speakers than the one he currently had. Barbara and George gave him a really nice frying pan; Jason knew the brand was high quality and extremely expensive. He thanked them several times, stunned that they had bought him such a nice gift.
They made plans to go to their dad’s apartment on Tuesday when Jason wasn’t working. Dave ended up coming with them, and Ariel stayed with his parents. Melanie insisted that they remove the little bits of furniture that were in there because she still felt badly about leaving the place in such wretched condition. She proclaimed that there were two guys there so it shouldn’t be all that difficult. But of course it was. It was a huge pain in the ass. They had to carry the shitty furniture all the way to the dumpster which was at the very far end of the apartment complex. And they stayed there much longer than he wanted to because Melanie had to go through every little thing. And of course Dave didn’t say a word. He just did as he was told. He was so whipped.
They didn’t find much either just as he suspected. Aside from the pictures, Melanie kept a few baseball cards, a mug, and a watch. Nothing of any real value unless you considered them to have sentimental value, which Jason did not.
He didn’t get home until late that night, and his back was killing him from moving crap, throwing heavy trash bags away, and constantly bending over.
Note to self: make sure you clean your own apartment, and pack some crap in boxes to limit the burden on others if you do end up killing yourself.
On a positive note, New Year’s Eve didn’t end up being as bad as most years. He of course had to work, and they were still cleaning up not long before midnight. Lydia ushered him out of the kitchen and into the bar where there was a noisy group of people. The hanging flat screen televisions were showing the giant crowd at Times Square in New York City waiting for the ball to drop.
All of the workers and patrons began to count down with the TV, and then everyone shouted “Happy New Year!” Some people even had noisemakers, and a group of guys pounded on the bar just to make it even louder. People were hugging and kissing each other. Jason usually hated this part until now.
Lydia gave him a big hug and kissed him on the cheek.
“Happy New Year, Jason!” she said, smiling.
“Happy New Year.”
He was still a little stunned, and it made him wonder yet again whether she felt anything for him too. A kiss on the lips or one with some tongue would have been more obvious, but this was still pretty nice.
She then went on to hug the other waitresses, but he noticed that she didn’t kiss any of them. Not to mention, he was the first one she hugged. Right at midnight when the New Year was rung in, when people in love were supposed to kiss. She chose him out of everyone here. And Mr. Big Shot Ryan who’s always at some party wasn’t here to kiss her. If he was really in love with her, he would have left whatever stupid party he was at to come to her work to make sure she had someone to kiss. Maybe that was a little over the top, but he knew he would do that for Lydia. Of course it would be easier for him since he works with her and wouldn’t be at some party anyway. But if the circumstances were different, he would make sure he was there if he could be.
Maybe 2011 would be a better year than the one before and the one before that and the one before that and so on…
On one of the first snowy days of the year, Barry made a brilliant decision to keep the restaurant open. This was not surprising as he had done this many times before. One of the only times he closed the restaurant was the year before when the Philadelphia area got record snowfalls.
As a result, Jason was used to driving in snow. He hated to do it in his little car, but he knew how to handle it. Regardless, there were elements out of his control, and he felt his car slip and slide quite a few times on the way into work. His stomach would drop almost every single time, and at one point he came extremely close to doing a complete 360. He loved the fact that Barry didn’t mind having his employees risk their lives so they could go work at the restaurant that would be completely dead. It made no sense. They would get hardly any customers, if they got any at all, so why in the fuck would he keep the damn place open? What was the point? It’s not like they were rescue workers, doctors, or police officers. There was no need for them to work when the weather conditions were this bad. As a matter of fact, it just made everything worse for those who truly had to.
He was fortunate his drive was not far, and for a short period of time, he was behind a plow truck. From what they were saying on the radio, it was only supposed to get worse as the day went on. So now he might end up getting stuck at the goddamn restaurant. When he remembered that Lydia was working the early shift today, he decided that might not be such a bad thing. Then they could both be stuck there together. But he wasn’t sure that she would make it into work. Most of the waitresses were not willing to drive in the snow, and he couldn’t blame them. There was a good chance none of them would show up at all, and then either Barry would have to serve, or he would just have to close the place. This would have made Jason’s dangerous drive to work even more pointless.
Jason was the first one there as usual. He wouldn’t be surprised if Barry didn’t come in at all. He started to prep for the day, but he went light on everything, predicting that there wouldn’t be much business anytime soon.
By eleven AM, a half hour before the restaurant was supposed to open, and still no one had shown up, Jason was smoking a cigarette and calling Barry on his cell phone.
“Nancy called out this morning. Her kids’ school got canceled. I just talked to Lydia, and she’s on her way in. She said it’s pretty bad out there. I may not make it in today, but I’m not sure. We may have to close. I’ll let you know.”
Really? Are you fucking kidding me? Why didn’t he tell Lydia to just turn around and go home? As much as he’d like her to be there with him, he didn’t want her to get killed just trying to get to a restaurant that he may end up closing anyway. Why couldn’t he just make his fucking decision now? And then the asshole isn’t even probably going to come in himself. What a pussy little prick. He wanted to curse him out and knock his teeth out for being such a douchebag, but instead, he just said, “Okay, thanks.”
Then on second thought he started to say, “Why don’t you just tell Lydia to go home? I don’t think we’re gonna get any customers today.” But Barry hung up the phone before he got a chance.
Lydia got there about five minutes later. He was grateful to see she made it there alive, and he couldn’t believe his luck. They would be the only ones in the restaurant together… He would like to be able to say that they wouldn’t even have to work, but from past experience, he knew Barry would make them do a lot of cleaning that they didn’t normally have the time to do. Lydia would have to gather and empty all of the salt and pepper shakers so they could be cleaned and then refill them all. Shelves would have to be scrubbed. Jason would have to do a more thorough cleaning of all the kitchen equipment. But they could work on everything together.
They wouldn’t be able to go home until Barry called them to say the restaurant was closed. By then, they may not be able to drive on the roads at all. What if they ended up having to sleep here? That might not be such a bad thing. He figured that would be unlikely, but if they got a storm anywhere as bad as last year, then they would have to.
“Hey, Jason,” she said, looking extremely frazzled.
“Are you okay?”
“This is fucking ridiculous. Why are we even open? I almost crashed my car like five times on the way here. That was scary as hell. I thought Barry was going to tell me to go home once I told him how bad it was, but he just told me to be careful. Can you believe that?”
“Actually, I can. Barry is such an asshole. He always fucking does this. I can’t tell you how many times he has made me come to work when it’s practically a fucking blizzard outside, and then he tells me after I get here that we’re closed. He’s such a fucking idiot. You should have just told him you couldn’t make it in. Nancy called out. Her kids don’t even have school today.”
“I know! And I would have told him I couldn’t come in, but since Nancy wasn’t coming, I knew I would be the only waitress. And I didn’t want him to fire me or anything…”
She set her purse down and took off her coat. He had a feeling they would be doing a lot of bitching about Barry. This was going to be great.
“So is anyone else coming in?” she asked.
“Nope. It’s just gonna be you and me.”
She smiled. “Well, that’s not bad. And we won’t even have any tables.”
“Yeah, but we’re gonna have to clean.”
She rolled her eyes. “Are you serious?”
“Yup. Barry will know if we don’t.”
“He’s not even coming in though, is he?”
“I doubt it.”
“What an asshole. And you know this storm is only supposed to get worse. They were telling people to stay off the roads on the news. I could barely make it here. I don’t wanna have to drive home when it gets even worse than this.”
“Well, I could always drive you.”
“No way! You don’t have an SUV or anything, and you would have to drive completely out of your way. That would not be fair to you.”
“I know how to drive in the snow.”
“Regardless, it’s still dangerous.”
“Well, I’d rather you not drive home if you’re not comfortable doing it. I’m not gonna lie; it freaks me out a bit too, but I’ve done it enough times where I’m pretty sure we’d be fine.”
“I guess we’ll have to see how it goes. Thanks.”
“Sure.”
“Wait—should I still set up the salad bar?”
“No, I wouldn’t bother. If we do get any customers, we could always just make a salad back here.”
“Sounds good. So what do we have to do?”
“Well, the waitresses are supposed to go get all of the salt and pepper shakers. Then you have to dump ’em back in the tubs, and I’ll run them through the dishwasher. Then you just need to refill them, and put them all back.”
“That doesn’t sound bad.”
“Well, emptying and filling up the pepper shakers makes you sneeze. A lot. And then we have to scrub all the shelves, and I have to clean a lot of stuff back here.”
“Can we work on it all together at least?”
He shrugged. “I don’t see why not.” They technically weren’t supposed to. The waitresses had their duties separate from the cooks, but considering they were the only ones there in a snowstorm, he figured why the hell not. It would certainly make it go faster and easier, and they could talk and keep each other company.
“I guess I need to keep an eye on the front in case anyone comes in,” she said.
“I doubt anyone will.”
“They would have to be nuts. It’s not like we’re a quick stop, y’know?”
“Yeah.”
“Wow, this sucks. Now I’m definitely going to make less than minimum wage. I’m definitely not gonna get any tips.”
“Aw man, that does suck. I won’t make you do as much. How ’bout that?”
She laughed. “It’s cool. I got nothin’ else better to do anyway.”
They then got trays and went around the whole restaurant, picking up each salt and pepper shaker off the tables. Their trays got heavy quickly. Fortunately, they had sugar packets and cups of creamers instead of jars so they didn’t have to worry about them too.
They laughed a lot and talked about their annoying co-workers. They looked out the window at the snow falling down from the ashen sky. It was already accumulating fairly quickly.
“So, what’s Barry’s deal? Is he always such an asshole, or does he just need to get laid?” Lydia asked him.
“Well, he’s twice divorced, and he’s said for the longest time that he never wants to get married again. If you think he’s miserable now, you should have seen him when he was going through his last divorce. But apparently, he’s dating some woman now, and he wants to make her wife number three so we’ll see.”
“Does he have any kids?”
“Yeah, he has a son from his first marriage—Doug. He used to be a server here a long time ago. He came out of the closet not long before he left, and Barry didn’t take it very well. But we all knew he was gay to begin with. It was pretty obvious. I don’t think they talk much now, but Doug will come visit once in awhile. He’s a nice guy.”
While they were dumping the salt and pepper, they kept laughing about how many times they both sneezed and said “God bless you” or “Gesundheit.” Then Lydia told him “Bananas” which is supposed to keep you from sneezing when you really have to. He sneezed anyway.
Then she ruined the mood by mentioning something about Ryan.
So he decided to ask her a little bit more about him to see if he could further gauge the seriousness of their relationship.
“What does Ryan do for a living?”
“Oh, he’s a bank manager—well, an assistant manager.”
“Oh yeah? How does he like that?”
“Well, it’s a tough job especially now with this economy, but he’s pretty good at it. You really have to be a good salesman to work at a bank.”
“I could never be a salesman.”
“Me either. I couldn’t be that pushy. I hate when people push me into something so I wouldn’t want to do it to them. And I guess technically a waitress is kinda like a salesperson because you’re supposed to get them to order more food and drinks and whatnot, but it’s really not the same. I mean, the people are sitting at your table wanting to order stuff. It’s not like you have to talk them into coming here.” She shrugged. “But I don’t really think Ryan’s all that pushy. I just think he’s good at reading people and asking the right questions. And he’s friendly and outgoing so that helps a lot.”
No one ever referred to Jason as outgoing, that was for sure.
“So how was Christmas with his family?”
“Oh, it was good. He has a pretty big family so it was a bit overwhelming meeting everyone. I mean, I already met his parents and his siblings before that, but then I met everyone else. And of course he had to meet my family too, but my family is not as big. They’re just not as—welcoming, I guess. My dad is such a jackass to everyone.”
“That’s a shame.”
“Well, at least my aunt was super sweet to him, of course. She’s actually getting remarried soon, and her fiancé is awesome. He has twin ten year old girls. They’re both so cute. They’re fraternal, but they look almost like they could be identical.”
“That’s cool. I just met my aunt and uncle and a couple of cousins for the first time at my dad’s funeral.”
“Oh wow, that’s crazy.”
“Yeah, it was kinda weird.”
“How’s everything going with your sister? Are you getting along any better?”
“Yeah, I guess. I mean, it’s always so up and down with her. Sometimes we get along just fine, and other times we fight like cats and dogs.”
“Well, you’re brother and sister. I think that’s pretty normal. You’re lucky to have a sister. I always wished I had one.”
“You want mine?”
She smiled.
And then he thought, no seriously, you can have her. We can get married, and then she’d be your sister in-law so you would have one. Okay, so he was definitely obsessed with her. He would try not to end up like her stalker ex-boyfriend. He didn’t want her to think he was crazy.
Why did she have to be with Ryan? If she wasn’t, he would love to have sex with her on one of these tables.
“Well, Valerie’s a lot like a sister to me. Her and our other friend, Christina. But Christina passed away a few years ago.”
“I’m so sorry to hear that.”
He stopped what he was doing to look at her.
“We all grew up together and did practically everything together. I would go over to Christina’s house after school almost every single day. But she had cancer—non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma, and she got really sick. She did chemo and radiation, and she even got better for awhile. But then the cancer came back, and she died when she was only twenty-two.” Her eyes looked watery as if she was about to cry, but she held back.
“And you know, she helped me get better. When I was starving myself, she used to talk to me and try to help me. And when she got sick, I felt like such an idiot. Here she was, struggling to live because she had this horrible disease, and I was slowly killing myself when I had every ability to stop. All I had to do was eat. Then I would be okay, but she—she didn’t have a choice. And she was still able to stay positive even when she lost all her hair and couldn’t eat because the chemo made her so nauseous. She wanted so badly to live. She appreciated life and I didn’t.” Then a few tears did begin to slide down her cheeks.
“Oh God, I’m so sorry,” she said as she quickly wiped them away. Then she smiled out of being embarrassed.
“Hey, no need to apologize. It’s okay. I understand.” He put his hand on her shoulder. “I’m sure you were a really good friend to her too.”
She nodded. “I hope so.”
There was an awkward silence in the air while they continued to work until Lydia sneezed again. They both laughed.
Once all of the shakers were dumped, Jason showed Lydia how to use the dishwasher. Once they came out clean, they dried them off and filled them back up. There was more joking around as they sneezed while filling up the pepper shakers. They both periodically checked the front of the restaurant. It was dead.
Jason looked outside to see that the parking lot was covered in snow.
“Shit, we better get out of here now, or we’re not gonna be able to. I’m gonna call Barry.”
When he called, it went straight to voicemail. Sonofabitch.
But Barry called him back moments later. Before Jason could tell him they would get stuck here if they didn’t leave now, Barry told them the restaurant was closed. They could go home.
If it weren’t for the fact that he was with Lydia, this day would have been a giant waste of time. At least they got the salt and pepper shakers done and didn’t have to worry about cleaning anything else.
“It’s about time,” Lydia said when he told her. She nervously looked out the window that was behind the large and clunky vegetable slicer.
“I’ll drive you home.”
“Jason—”
He gave her a look that said for her not to argue.
She quickly gave up, looking slightly relieved. “You really don’t have to, but I really do appreciate it. I hate driving in the snow.”
“It’s no problem at all.”
“Thank you.”
“I’m just hoping we don’t have to shovel the car out. I think I should be able to drive over it, but we’ll have to see how deep it is.”
They turned out all the lights in the restaurant, put the closed sign up, and Jason locked the doors. They walked outside into the cold air, snowflakes falling down on their clothes. Lydia had put on her coat, pink gloves, and a purple scarf. Jason just had his coat on. They could see their breath in the air when they talked, and Lydia was shivering a little.
It was so quiet outside that it was almost eerie. They walked through the sparkling white snow, which fortunately wasn’t that high yet. Jason got a snow scraper out of his car and brushed the fluffy snow off of the front and back windshields of his car. Lydia assisted by wiping the side windows with her sleeve. She attempted to try to brush some off the top of his car, but Jason took over since it was much easier for him to do.
He slowly drove out of the parking lot without too much trouble. The roads were a little better, just slushy and salty. The drive to her place was unnerving at some points, especially on some of the hilly roads, but he managed to get her home safely. She was pretty quiet for the most part, probably just not wanting to distract him. All he could hear was the windshield wipers scraping away at the snow and the sound of the heat blasting into the car. They didn’t even turn on the radio.
“Why don’t you come in and hang out for awhile? Oh, well, I guess maybe you shouldn’t because then you might end up getting stuck here. I’m just thinking it’s pretty bad out now, but it’s probably only going to get worse.”
“Yeah,” he nodded in agreement, although he really wouldn’t mind getting stuck.
“Can you please, please call me when you get home so I know you’re safe?”
“Of course.”
“I feel so bad that you had to drive out of your way. Maybe you should just stay here.”
“It’s all right. I’ll be fine.” He really did want to stay, but that would definitely be wrong. He would probably end up having to spend the night, and even though he would most likely sleep on the couch, he still figured Ryan wouldn’t like that very much. And even though he wouldn’t be sad to see them break up, he also didn’t want to be the cause of any problems in Lydia’s life.
“Thank you so much. You are awesome,” she said.
“You’re welcome. Anytime. Let me know if you need me to pick you up so you can get your car.”
“Okay, thanks. Please be careful driving home. I’ll be waiting for your phone call.”
“I will. Have a good night.”
“Good night!”
She then got out of the car, closed the door, looked back and waved before heading into her apartment building.
As he drove home, he felt instant regret that he didn’t stay. He had the opportunity. He should have taken it. She would have let him. But he just didn’t feel right. If she were single, then nothing could have stopped him from staying. But she was with someone. And he was alone.
So now he was driving home to his empty apartment. He at least got to have the rest of the day off, but he would spend it wishing he were with Lydia. Why didn’t he just stay?
He called her when he got home. He loved to hear the sound of her voice.
“Thank you for calling. I’m so glad you got home okay. I kept thinking after you left that I should have made you stay.”
“I was fine, no problems at all really.”
“Well, good, I’m glad. Thanks again for driving me home. At least we got the rest of the day off now, huh?”
“Yeah, I just hope we don’t lose power. I’ll probably just watch some movies.”
“That sounds good.”
Then they talked for a little while longer until Lydia said she had to go. Ryan was calling her on the other line. Was he just now calling to make sure she was okay? He was pissed that he had interrupted their conversation. If he could have spent the rest of the day talking to her, he would have been happy. Not as happy as he would have been had he stayed with her, but it would definitely be better than spending his day alone.
Feeling depressed, he went into his bedroom and turned on his laptop. He checked his e-mail. He had an e-mail from his credit card company letting him know his statement was ready. He got a marketing e-mail from a store letting him know about the great specials they had for the week. Then he got an e-mail from his sister that was just a funny joke about men versus women.
He cracked his knuckles and stretched his arms. Then he lit up a cigarette, paid a couple of bills online, and checked the weather as well. He kept getting frustrated because his computer was being so slow.
Then his sister called him on his cell.
“Hey, Jason. You’re not at work, are you?”
“Nope.”
“Thank God. Dave’s mom was telling me how bad the storm is over there, and I was worried that stupid Barry wouldn’t close the restaurant.”
“Well, I did go into work today, but then he ended up calling and telling me to go home. It was pointless being open. We didn’t have any customers.”
“He is such an ass. So you still had to drive in the snow?”
“Yup. But it wasn’t too bad. Especially since Lydia was the only waitress that came in, and I got to drive her home.”
“Oh—Lydia’s the hot one, right?”
“Yup.”
“So, did anything happen?”
“No. Remember I told you she has a boyfriend?”
“You said it wasn’t serious though, right?”
“I don’t think it is. I don’t know.”
“Well, let me know if anything does happen. I’ll want to meet her.”
“Yeah, we’ll see.”
“Have you met her boyfriend?”
“No.”
“Does she talk about him?”
“A little.”
“Only a little?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, then I think you should just ask her out.”
“No, I’m not gonna do that.”
“You’re too nice, you know that? You know, Amy’s getting married this August.”
“Thanks for reminding me.”
“She kinda really pissed me off when I last saw her.”
“Why?”
“Well, I probably shouldn’t tell you this…” But of course she was going to anyway. Melanie had a big mouth and could never keep it shut. “But we had gotten together with her when we were home that week for Christmas. And Ariel was sleeping so we had a few drinks. Amy got kinda drunk, and you wanna know what she told me?”
“What?”
“Well, you know how Ron, her fiancé, was one of her customers at the salon?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, she told me that she liked him for awhile, and then he ended up asking her out—before you guys even broke up. And she said yes, and she went on a date with him just to see how it would go. I couldn’t even believe she was telling me this. I guess she thought it was okay since it had been so long, and she didn’t want to tell me before because she knew I would be pissed. But anyway, she said that if the date didn’t go well, she would have just stayed with you. But since it went well and she really liked him, that’s why she ended up breaking up with you.”
“So she did cheat on me.”
“Well, kind of, not really. I mean, she didn’t have sex with him that night or anything.”
“That’s still cheating. And that’s a really shitty thing to do.”
“I know! I was so ticked at her, and she was like surprised about it or something. But you know, you’re my brother. I have to take your side, especially when she’s the one in the wrong. I mean, I know that it turned out for the best. Obviously, you weren’t meant to be or anything. But still… It was like she was—it was like she, I don’t know.”
“Like she was staying with me until she found someone better?”
“Well, I don’t know about that.”
“That’s exactly what it sounds like.”
“I shouldn’t have told you, I guess, but I just thought you had a right to know. I mean, you’re definitely over her now, right?”
“Yeah, I am.” That probably would have been a good question to ask before she told him this. Not that he was entirely surprised by any of it.
“And I guess I thought maybe you’d realize you’re better off without her anyway, especially since she treated you like that. I mean, she’s my best friend and all, and that’s what has made this situation so awkward and hard for me, but… I don’t know. I’m pissed that she didn’t tell me until now, but she knows I probably would have killed her back then. It probably would have ruined our friendship. Of course we’re still friends now. I’m gonna be her maid of honor, or I guess I’ll be the matron of honor since I’m married. I hate being called a matron though. It makes me sound old, so we’ll probably still say maid of honor. But it’s just gonna be weird that I’ll be in her wedding with Ron. I used to think it would be with you, and then Amy and I would be sisters—well, she would be my sister in-law. I’m sorry, Jason…”
“It’s okay. It’s not your fault. I am over her anyway.”
Mainly because of Lydia. He could think of no one else he would rather be with. If his sister tried hooking him up with someone else, if some other hot waitress started working at Barry’s, if he met some girl when he was out shopping, none of them would be Lydia. So he just wouldn’t be interested.
But he still had to admit that what she told him made him feel like crap. It further made him realize what a bitch Amy was and how much he was glad he was no longer with her. He obviously couldn’t trust her. But just the thought that she stuck around as long as she did was simply because she didn’t want to be alone, and she was just holding out until someone else came along. Someone better because he just wasn’t good enough.