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With each passing day, Jacob was coming to the realization that Serena was going to leave him. She had to leave. She spent a good part of her day writing and drawing, but he knew when she was working on her article when her gaze turned thoughtful and she began to pepper him with questions.
He’d tried to explain to her that no matter how she worded it, it was going to end badly for him. He just answered her questions now. If it kept her busy, he didn’t mind. But he wasn’t going to let her leave. No way. She had to stay here with him. There was no way he was going to let her jeopardize his sanctuary and peace of mind with one little article. People were like bloodhounds, something she didn’t understand.
He would simply explain to her that she would have stayed with him anyway, and this was best for the both of them. They clearly belonged together, and he knew he was in love with her. While she asked him a string of questions, he began to ask his own and was surprised to learn that she was orphaned at a very early age. She’d gone through life on her own, mostly through a series of foster homes until she turned eighteen. He felt like their connection was more powerful because of their shared experience. While he wasn’t orphaned, he did spend most of his time alone because his parents hadn’t known what to make of their son. Afraid to ask anyone, they’d tried to control him to suit their purposes. But as he got older, stronger, and less malleable, they let him do as he saw fit.
He had a few friends, but none that he could ever reveal himself to. He knew they would accept him, but he had been warned by his parents that it would be at his own risk. Children talked, and if enough of them shared the same story, he would be investigated or treated like a science experiment. So he’d kept silent on his abilities.
It wasn’t until he’d grown older that he’d encountered other dragons by chance. These were full dragons, and he never fit in their world. He was caught between the two worlds and just tried to divide his time between them, nourishing one part of him and then the other. Until now.
Serena made him feel whole and she accepted all of him in a way that even his parents were unable to do. Never in his wildest imagination did he feel like it would ever be possible for him. He’d written about Serena in one of his earlier novels. Not Serena herself, but a character that was based off of someone from the deep recesses of his soul. He’d dreamed that she existed, and now here she was in the flesh. Jacob wondered if she recognized herself in the writing. He doubted it. She thought of herself as too much of a plain Jane to see herself for the beauty that she was.
Today she was busy drawing, and he thought to ask her what it was she was doodling, but he didn’t want to invade her privacy. Especially if he planned to keep her with him, she wouldn’t take kindly to more invasion. He had to tell her today that there was simply no way he could allow her to leave. Her foot was on the mend, and if she were to go down gingerly, with his help, she could conceivably make it back into town and leave, which was what she had planned.
But he wasn’t going to let that happen. She would fight him on it, he knew that. That was one of the reasons he admired her so much. She wasn’t afraid of anything. Although she knew when to tread carefully, she still tread. No matter how difficult a task seemed, she knew how to take it apart and get to the heart of the matter. And once she did, she would see that it was a natural progression of things.
The ways in which they had bonded and lived in the past weeks, he knew if she left now, she would take the soul that she had awoken inside of him with her. He didn’t know what effect he had on her, but if it was even a fraction of what he was feeling, she would understand his decision.
Serena had expressed her desire last night to go to town and make arrangements to leave. She had phone calls to make that she couldn’t do from his lair. Even though her phone did work on the mountain when she’d first arrived, she hadn’t been able to charge it. Until now, he’d just responded to her requests to go down with “hmm....” and “ah...” He was a coward. He had to tell her how he felt about the decision today. He couldn’t avoid it any longer.
“Serena,” he started.
“Yes?” She looked up from her work and smiled at him. He was disarmed immediately and wanted to haul her to bed, and make her forget about leaving altogether.
He coughed. This wasn’t going to be easy. “I think we need to talk about your leaving tomorrow.”
“Well, I won’t be leaving tomorrow, but I do need to make some calls so I can arrange to leave later next week.” She looked at him curiously. “Why, what’s wrong?”
“I don’t think I can take you,” he said after a long pause.
“Oh. Well, my ankle feels a lot better, and if I wear the boot, I think I should be okay. I’d just need a little help with some of the more difficult parts.” She looked hurt that he was denying her this small request. She was right to feel hurt, it wasn’t unreasonable after all.
“No, that’s not why,” he said. “I just can’t let you leave. I told you before, you can’t print that story, it’s too dangerous.” He was a true coward. He should have just told her how he felt.
Serena set down her work to give him her full attention. Uh oh.
“Are you serious?” Her voice held a note of warning. “You aren’t going to let me leave? Is that what this is about? You’re trying to control me again?”
“I’m not trying to control you, Serena,” he sighed. Yes, he was. He knew it, but he didn’t know how else to tell her how he felt about her. She’d given no indication that she felt anything but lust for him. And he knew if he said it now, she wouldn’t take it seriously. She would think it was a desperate plea for her to not print her story.
“What do you call this, then?” she demanded. “I’ve been through enough in my life that I know when someone is trying to control me or manipulate me into doing something. I don’t need that in my life. If you refuse to help me, I’ll go on my own. It’s fine.”
“Are you out of your damn mind?” Jacob bellowed. “You better not try to leave on your own! You couldn’t even stand properly earlier today, and you want to go down the mountain? Alone?”
“Well, are you leaving me any choice in the matter?” she asked stonily.
“Are you leaving me any choice when you decided to run an article about me without asking?” he shot back.
Serena glowered at him. “I told you, I’m not going to print anything that will cause you any harm or danger. I wouldn’t do that.”
“You don’t realize the power that you hold,” Jacob argued. Why was she being so stubborn anyway? She couldn’t seem to understand his simple request and she kept arguing with him like he was wrong to feel threatened.
“The bottom line is that you don’t trust me,” she said flatly.
“I trust you,” Jacob said. “I just think you’re not understanding the situation that I’m in. You’re impulsive. You don’t look at the consequences of your actions.”
“I’m impulsive?” she asked, incredulous. “Where did that come from?”
“Why else do you think you’re up here right now? Why do you think you have a sprained ankle?” he pointed out. He hated to sound so cruel, but it was true. Had she played it safe, she would have been long gone, and with a vanilla story about how the locals needed to invent a dragon story to entice tourists. And he also wouldn’t have met her, he thought.
Her lips clamped shut and she turned away. He felt like an ass. He wasn’t going to live that one down. He gave up arguing with her and decided to leave for a bit. They weren’t going to get anywhere going back and forth. He needed some space before he said something else he might regret.
It was mid-day but the stream of tourists had thinned in the past two days. Today he had seen only one tourist from his vantage point, and now there were none to be found. He’d wanted to at least convince her to not print the story, and then reveal his feelings for her. Now he’d made a mess of things by telling her she had to stay. It was so cliché, he thought, annoyed with himself. A big angry dragon keeping a woman in his lair against her will. Was he just pandering to his dragon instincts, or were his feelings for her real? He couldn’t be sure now.
Needing to expend some energy, he morphed into his alter self and spent a good amount of time scaling the mountains, and trying to block out the feelings of panic that came when he thought of Serena leaving. He fought with himself and he felt himself calm down after he realized that he had no choice. He couldn’t keep her captive. He had to let her go. She wasn’t going to be happy with him if he made her stay. Even though he was perfectly happy being with her the way they had been in the past weeks, he’d never really gotten any indication from her that she felt the same way.
With a heavy heart, he headed back to the cave. He felt sadness like he’d never felt before, but he knew he had to let her go. He couldn’t keep her happy if she was staying against her will. If she returned to him on her own, then he would know that she felt the same way. He thought about telling her his real feelings for her, but he didn’t. It would only make the situation murkier than it already was.
Serena was pacing in the cave when he returned. Jacob cleared his throat and pulled the luggage that was placed next to the entrance upright. “I can take you now, if you like,” he offered quietly.
She looked up in surprise. She hugged herself and bit her lip. He squashed all his urges in that moment and resigned himself to the fact that he would just have to feel the emptiness inside if it meant that she would be free and happy. That was what he wanted for her.
“Are you sure? It’s not going to be too much trouble?” she asked.
“Yes,” he lied. “I’m sorry that I told you that you had to stay. I think I got caught up in the whole dragon routine. It’s your choice to print the story or not. I don’t have any right to force you to do anything.” He knew the words coming out of his mouth sounded forced, but that was because they were. He wished he had the same power over her that she had over him.
She gave him a small smile. “I was wondering when you would start to behave like a typical dragon. Now I know it’s when anyone comes over to your place and you don’t allow them to leave. I’ll have to include that in my piece.”
He gave a short, humorless laugh. “Okay, well, can’t wait to read it when it comes out.” He glanced around and noted a few of her items still around the room. “I was thinking, it’s going to be a struggle for you to climb up and down the mountain. Maybe we should try to look for a way to get you home today or tomorrow so you don’t have to come back up here and then go back down. Though if it takes a few days, we could always get you a hotel room in town.”
Serena had an odd expression on her face. “Oh, yeah, a hotel. Yes, that sounds fine.” She turned and went to get the remaining items and began to cram them into her luggage. “I think that’s it,” she said brusquely. “I’m ready whenever you are.” She turned and gave him a quick, polite smile. “Can you please help me with the luggage?” She downgraded him into a bell boy in a matter of seconds.
“Sure.” He grabbed the luggage and they stepped out into the late afternoon sun. He saw her give the cave one last look before she quickly began to walk ahead of him with her backpack snug against her body. She couldn’t wait to leave.