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Serena fought back tears all the way home. She kept reliving moments that she and Jacob had shared in their personal hideaway and she longed for the privacy to bury her face into her pillow and sob. She missed him so much. She felt like she’d left herself behind and with each step away from him, her legs felt increasingly wooden. Serena wanted to go running back to him and ask him why he didn’t feel the same things that she did.
In the short amount of time they’d spent together, she’d shared with him things that she’d never told anyone—even her closest friends. And the way they connected with each other in bed was unparalleled. He could read her and anticipate what she needed before it even registered in her own mind.
But he’d just been obsessed over the article. She’d talked to Lance once they’d come down the mountain and she was sure Jacob had overheard some of their conversation. She’d told him that she didn’t have the typical story that he was looking for, but rather, a series that would fare much better. He’d agreed, always eager to have her artistic take on things. She said she would come back straight away so he could see what she had thus far.
Inspired by the mountains, her natural ability to draw was ignited. She felt that the best way to portray her experience and reveal what she knew about Jacob without causing a media frenzy or putting him through any danger, was to turn the story into a graphic novel of sorts, released strip by strip every week. No one would take it seriously, but she knew it was different enough that people would be attracted to it.
In the mock-ups she had created, she made sure she included elements from some of his other novels. She wove the tales so that only the biggest fans would be able to decipher the hidden messages. And even if they did, they would likely only consider it as her paying homage to the great works of Nogard. She smiled to herself as she thought about his cleverness in creating the name. He wasn’t just clever with that, though. He was completely in sync with her with minimal effort. No matter what form he was in, they were able to communicate on a different level than she’d ever experienced before.
The only problem with Jacob was that he didn’t love her. Nor did he trust her. She couldn’t forget how she felt when he told her he would rather she stay in a hotel her last night there. Well, he hadn’t said it in so many words, but she’d caught the underlying message. That perplexed her, but more than anything she’d wanted to cry. And cry she did. As soon as she checked into the hotel, she’d cried her heart out. So much so that she hadn’t gotten any sleep that night before she had to leave to catch her flight out of the mountains. The irony was not lost on her; she had better sleep in a cave on a mountain than she did in a comfortable hotel room.
She was nearly home now, and felt like everything had been a dream. It was more surreal now that she was removed from the situation, than it had been when she was immersed in it. Because when she was with him, it didn’t feel like a situation. It felt like home. She loved him. She loved to be with him, and he evoked feelings in her she’d never known she had. It was those feelings that had spurred her into creating the graphic novel strips.
Straightening up, she held back the tears. She didn’t have time to pity herself now. There would be plenty of time for that later when she got home. In fact, there would be plenty of time to nurse herself back to health. Since she’d left the mountains, she’d gotten incredibly sick, unable to hold anything down. At first, she thought she’d eaten something that was off, but after a day of just fluids, she wasn’t so sure.
Serena knew she had less than two hours to drop her things off at her small apartment before heading to her meeting with Lance and some of the other editors to pitch her idea. Lance had gotten just a small hint at what she had planned, and seemed to like it. She hoped the other editors felt the same way, sometimes Lance was easily swayed by differing opinions and she needed his support on this.
It was possible he could scrap the whole thing and demand a simple article about the mythical dragon, and she was prepared for that too. She had written a plain article about why people felt the need to believe in mythical creatures to make sense of the world around them. The article immediately dismissed the rumors as there was little or no evidence supporting them, given that with all the tourists up there on a daily basis, not one had encountered a dragon, let alone seen any footprints.
The plane was delayed in releasing its passengers and she now had even less time to get to her meeting. She contemplated postponing the meeting but decided against it. It was hard to get Lance into a meeting and even harder to have other editors be willing to join. She’d built a reputation of a responsible, creative writer, and they respected her enough to sit down with her. Serena needed their full support on this idea and decided the only thing to do was to go there straight from the airport. With any luck, she could be in and out within the hour and finally go home to rest and recuperate. She would just have to hold her nausea at bay with something other than sparkling water or ginger ale.
She caught a cab to the office and stopped at a café around the corner to grab some coffee. It was the one thing she missed while in the cave. It was difficult to brew a good cup of coffee over a fire, and Jacob had only instant. She tasted the gourmet coffee and was disappointed. It didn’t taste the same anymore. It was possible her taste buds were just making the coffee taste bad, but she truly missed the taste of the instant coffee. Damn him. He’d ruined coffee for her, too!
Taking another swig, she was tempted to toss it but remembered that she needed it to get through her meeting. She drank it reluctantly as she hauled her belongings behind her up to the top floor of the office building. They were already waiting for her in the conference room adjacent to Lance’s office when she arrived.
“You’re early!” Lance exclaimed. Then he gave her a once-over. “Unusual choice for the office, but it’s good to see you!”
“I’m so sorry,” Serena said of her casual attire. “I’m coming straight from the airport, as you can see. I didn’t have time to go home and freshen up.”
“It’s perfectly fine,” Judith smiled from her seat. “I’m excited to hear about your idea. I’ve seen some of your doodles before from your portfolio when you were first hired, so I’m sure this will be great if it’s anything like that.”
Serena waited until they were all seated before she got ready to present her idea. She passed around the copies of her ideas and waited for their reaction. They seemed to like the concept and asked her several questions. She answered each one thoroughly and deferred to Lance for some of the more detailed ones that involved his working knowledge of printing and consumer demand.
After two and half hours, Serena walked out of the building just as she came, but minus a cup of coffee, and with the urge to leap into the air in excitement. They were going to do it, they bought her idea. She felt bittersweet and wished Jacob was here right now to celebrate with her. She wondered what he was doing right now and then shook her head to dispel the thoughts.
Jacob hadn’t trusted her, he’d expected her to throw him under the bus to further her own career. She didn’t know how he could believe that after all that they had shared together. Serena didn’t want to admit her feelings for him either. After having faced so much rejection her whole life, she thought she would be immune to his. But she wasn’t. It felt like she had been torn to bits and she’d left her heart behind with him. She was excited about the prospects the project held in store for her, but with no one to share them with, it lost its appeal just as quickly.
It was dark outside when Serena finally made it home. She walked in and found everything exactly as she’d left it. She walked room to room and looked at everything before going to the kitchen to sit down. She didn’t want to be here. This didn’t feel like home anymore. Everything was familiar, but it was from a past life, one that she couldn’t live anymore.
But how could she go back? Jacob didn’t want her either. He couldn’t get rid of her fast enough. She laid her head on the table and sobbed. Several minutes ticked by until she finally lifted her head. She couldn’t do this. She had to work tomorrow and she needed to pull herself together.
She’d barely lifted a finger when she was with Jacob the past two weeks. He’d done all the work of getting groceries from down the mountain, hauled them up, and prepared every meal. She helped occasionally, but he always insisted that she do something else while he prepared the meals.
Serena knew without looking that nothing was in her refrigerator. She decided to stop at the convenience store around the corner, too tired to pull her car out of the garage and do any heavy shopping. She could get enough for the next few days and replenish as she needed after that. She had little desire to eat as it was.
She walked to the store and scanned the shelves as she did, her mind elsewhere. She dropped familiar items into her basket and moved on. Soon she found herself in the personal care isle and her gaze fell on a pregnancy test. It was too soon, she thought biting her lip. It probably wouldn’t even be able to detect it if it was positive. She grabbed it anyway and dropped it in her basket. Only one way to find out.
After that, she rushed through the store and waited impatiently to pay for her items. Then she took her purchases and ran home. Her heart racing, she tore open the box and followed the instructions, set the timer, and waited. While she waited she tidied up, throwing the box away, and warming up a pre-made dinner from the frozen food section. The timer sounded and she ran back to the bathroom. She looked at the indicators and her heart sank. Negative. She left the test on the counter and walked hollowly back to the kitchen where the microwave was beeping.
She sat down and tried to eat the food, but it tasted terrible. Nothing tasted good. Not without Jacob. She tried to force down the mashed potatoes but they got lodged in her throat. Serena raced back to the bathroom, this time to throw up what she’d just eaten.
After she finished emptying her stomach, she rinsed her mouth and brushed her teeth. Then her eye caught the back of the box in the trash. She picked it up and looked at it again. One negative, one positive meant a positive result. The negative sign was to ensure that it worked, the positive showed if she was pregnant. She looked at the test again. One negative, one positive. She was positive. She was pregnant. She cried in relief and sank to the floor, hugging her stomach. She was carrying Jacob’s baby. She had to tell him, but how? How would any of this work? She was filled with fear and doubts, but she pushed them away.
For now, she wanted to celebrate that she was carrying a baby with Jacob. She didn’t know where it would lead, but she was carrying it and she was already in love with it. And with Jacob. She wanted to talk to him, she wanted to feel his presence, but she couldn’t. Then she remembered she had some of his books on her shelf. She ran to get them and curled up on her bed.
She read chapter after chapter of one of her favorite books by him. This time, she read it with new eyes. She saw how he was influenced now and so much of his talent and writing style made sense, giving her a deeper appreciation for his words.
It was well into the night when she felt the book drop from her hands and succumbed to the sleep that finally claimed her. Right away, she began to dream she was in the story she’d just been reading and within minutes, she jerked awake. The book. She looked around frantically and opened it up again. No, it couldn’t be. When had he written this? She looked at the front cover. It was well over a decade old. But this book described their love. Serena felt like the female character that was in his novel. The woman in the cave held captive was her!
Jacob had to love her too! How else could he have written so poetically about this woman? It was a woman of his creation, he hadn’t known her at all. If he did, it was through his soul crying out to find her, and she hadn’t heard him. Fate had brought them together, and she turned away out of pride. Now again, fate was pushing them together with this pregnancy and she wasn’t going to ignore it this time. She was going back to find Jacob, even if it meant risking her career.