The Job

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Jackie, if you freak out right now I’ll kill you, I say to myself over and over. I can not lose Jax again. My emotions go numb, the shock of seeing my favorite idol so near dumbing down all the fangirling I’d like to do.

As much as I stare, he doesn’t poof away. Jax is actually here in Lake Elsinore, my hometown. Like it’s fate.

“Do I have something on my face?” Jax says.

“No,” I say, dropping my gaze to the floor fast as I can. “I’m just surprised you’re giving me a job.”

The lie is thinly veiled, but as far as I can tell, Jax doesn’t remember the incident five months ago, and I’d like to keep it that way. I dare to peek at him, and my heart pounds so hard it might shake the walls of the building.

“So, can you start tomorrow?” Jax asks, his expression no-nonsense.

“Of course, yes.” It felt impossible, but somehow I say the words without a wobbly voice.

“Great. Bring your social security card and driver’s license tomorrow at four.”

Jax retreats to the room behind the cash register again, and I’m left there, breathless and still. The old man is still patting my hand, and I laugh in spite of the situation.

“Good job,” he says again, twice.

“Thank you,” I say to him, trying to pour all of my sincerity in the words.

He releases me, and I walk out of the shop in a daze.

“Jackie!” Alyssa calls.

I find them looking at some clothes on sidewalk racks. I try to think of how I can tell them about what just happened. Or if I even should.

This is the news of the century, which is why I feel so conflicted. Now that I’ve found Jax, I don’t want him running away again. I trust Gracie and Alyssa with my life, but if any sort of word got out that Jax was here, it could ruin everything.

“Are you okay?” Gracie asks. “You look really pale.”

“I’m fine,” I lie. I expect some pushback, but they don’t question it.

Alyssa points to the parking lot. “Okay, well, are we going?”

“Yes,” I say, relieved I don’t have to make up more excuses. “How about some ice cream?”

The three of us take off, going to the local burger joint for fries and chocolate shakes.

“I think they’re hiring here, too,” Gracie says to me. “Are you going to apply?”

I fumble, pasting on a fake smile as I look between the two of them. “I guess I forgot to tell you, I got the job at the music place.”

“Forgot?” Alyssa says, choking on a fry. “That’s a huge deal, congrats!”

Gracie claps. “That’s awesome, how much are they going to pay you?”

“I didn’t ask.” Maybe I should worry about the money since I have to pay for gas now, but seeing Jax is still rattling my system. “I’ll figure it out when I go in tomorrow.”

“You’re starting tomorrow?” Alyssa beams. “We’ll have to come visit you, then!”

“No.” It’s not like I mean to be so forceful in with the word, but I have to figure out how I’m going to handle the Jax situation first.

Gracie sets down her shake with a thump. “You’re going pale again. What’s going on?”

I stand, my mind a jumble of thoughts. “Maybe we should go home.”

Alyssa grabs my wrist, pulling me back to the seat. “Tell us what’s happening. This minute.”

“I’m not sure I can talk about it.” It’s a lame excuse but it’s the truth.

“Wow,” Gracie balks, offended. “I thought we were your best friends.”

“You are,” I say.

“So what is it?” Alyssa asks.

I put on my bravest happy face. “It’s good news. But I have to make sure it’s okay with someone before I can tell you all the details.”

“As long as nothing’s wrong with you.” Gracie flips some of her red hair over her shoulder. “But promise you’ll tell us as soon as you can.”

“I will,” I answer, and it’s that’s the truth, too.

***

I come down the stairs from my bedroom wearing a white collared shirt and black slacks. I want to look professional for my first day of work, and I think I pulled it off. Plus, if I happen to run into Jax again, it won’t hurt to look my best.

“What are you wearing?” Simon, my older brother, teases.

I wish he would move out already. He’s in college, but living at home. Because money.

“Why do you care?” I retort

He looks me up and down. “Are you going to a Kpop thing again?”

“No,” I bark, even though that’s only a half truth. Jax has something to do with Kpop, but that didn’t make this a “Kpop thing.”

Simon rolls his eyes. “Well, you look silly.”

I pretend to throw something at him, but I don’t have anything in my fist. “I’m going to work, dummy.”

“Is that the case?” For a second I think he’s not going to be my teasing brother, but an actual human with feelings. I only think that until he keeps talking. “You still look like a penguin.”

I chase after him, but Mom comes into the room and breaks us up.

“What’s going on?” Mom asks,

I huff and cross my arms. “Simon’s making fun of me.”

“It’s her fault,” Simon accuses. “She’s always doing stupid Kpop things.”

“I’m going to work, not Kpop!” I yell.

Mom throws her arms out between us. “Enough! Jackie, you look great, now go before you’re late to work. Simon, quit provoking your sister.”

I stick my tongue out at Simon and he makes a face at me, but Mom only sees what’s he’s done and not me. I hope Mom gives him toilet duty.

As much as I try to brush it off Simon has me fuming all the way to Music to My Ears. He always knows how to press the wrong buttons, and he never respects the stuff I’m into. I take a deep breath before leaving the van to cool myself down. Flipping the visor, I then open the mirror to make sure I don’t look as dumb as Simon says I do. And I don’t. I look great.

With any luck, I’ll be seeing Jax in a minute and I’d rather exude confidence for him instead of insecurity. All I want is for Jax to be okay, what I look like isn’t important at all.

“Hello,” I say, walking inside. No one’s behind the counter, but I go there anyway, hoping Jax will show up from that back room again.

Instead, a cute lady in her mid-forties comes out. She’s also Asian with straight black hair and really beautiful eyes.

“Hi there,” she says. “You must be the new hire. Jackie?”

“That’s me.” I hold my trembling in, but the nerves and excitement are having a war in my stomach.

“Perfect,” she says. “Why don’t you come on back, and we’ll get all your information entered in the computer.”

I fill out tax forms and give copies of my vital documents to the lady, whose name is Penny, and start to learn how to run the cash register. I’m getting minimum wage, but also enough hours to cover gas, easily.

“I think that’s everything,” Penny says after taking me through the basics. “It’s time for you to dive in. Take care of anyone who comes in, and I’ll relieve you at eight.”

“That’s it?” I ask, not sure how I’m supposed to manage a store by myself on my first day.

“Yes, you can call me on the phone here if you have any issues. I’m number one on speed dial.”

“Okay,” I say, anxious I have to do this by myself so suddenly.

Penny starts to walk away but pauses before she gets out the door. “That’s right, I forgot to tell you there’s an employee manual under the desk that will help with most of your questions. But our shop is pretty quiet. We mostly needed someone to sit here and give us some free time.”

Made sense. I wouldn’t mind the study time, either.

I spend the first half hour going through the manual, then get bored when no one comes in. I stand and look over the instruments, picking up the same trumpet as yesterday. There’s some great background music on my phone, so I put that on and play along with the trumpet parts. After another half hour I tire of that and clean random things: I use the carpet sweeper, make sure all the instruments are hanging straight, then organize the sheet music so not a single book looks out of place.

That only takes about fifteen minutes, and it’s still completely dead. I get on my phone, scrolling through social media instead. Maybe I should’ve invited Gracie and Alyssa to come say hello.

When there’s only a forty-five minutes until Penny said she’d return, I start to count down, but the time doesn’t go fast enough.

The little bell attached to the door rings, and I stand. Finally, some real work.

“Welc—” The word dies on my lips as Jax comes inside.

“Hey,” he says, tipping his head at me as he walks into the back.

It’s really hard not to have a panic attack when my bias just said hey to me. Like right to me. He wasn’t looking at anyone else, but me. And he said hey.

I sit down and start fanning myself, trying to keep it together. He can not know I’m his fangirl. He would fire me in an instant.

But it’s so hard to hide it. I’ve been crazy about him for years now. He’s so sweet, and caring, and talented. Plus, I’ve always loved how his name is Jax and I’m Jackie, so it sounds really cute together like our parents both saw the same qualities in us and decided it would be fun for us to be matchy-matchy like that.

“Hey,” he says again, and this time I jump since he snuck up behind me.

“Oh, sorry,” he apologizes. “I just wanted to ask if you’d seen my mom.”

I swallow hard to keep my voice from squeaking, but my words still come out much higher than I expect them too. “Your mom?”

“Yeah, Penny. She was here, wasn’t she?”

Penny is Jax’s mom. Of course. I’d seen dozens of pictures of her, so why hadn’t I connected it? Probably because her Chinese name wasn’t Penny, for one, and a person in the flesh can be so different from pictures. Especially since there wasn’t much video of her. Not that I went looking. I was more interested in Jax, who was the only Chinese member in his Kpop group.

“She was here,” I say, controlling my breathing, “but she left a while ago. Said she’d be back by eight.”

Jax turns the full force of his gaze on me, and something insane happens in my body. Chills from head to toe, sweaty palms, and an accelerated heart rate. I’m not sure if I’m going to start floating, or if I’m going to be sick.

“I’ll wait then,” he says, pulling up a chair to sit next to me. I sit too, balling my hands to try and hide my nerves. “How was your first day?”

Crap, he’s talking to me, isn’t he? I should be a normal human and respond, but my brain has decided this is a good time to leave my body defenseless.

“Good,” I croak. Oh my goodness, I’m totally screwing this up. He’s going to figure me out, immediately.

“Did we have any customers?”

“Nope.” Why does my voice sound like I’m a twelve-year-old boy going through puberty?

I dab at my brow, hoping the sweat forming there isn’t obvious.

“Cool,” he says.

“Cool,” I echo.

We’re quiet for a minute, and I know how much Jax hates quiet, so I can tell it’s killing him not to say anything. If my brain was in the place it was supposed to be, I could be the one to start some brilliant conversation.

“Aren’t you curious?” he says eventually.

Oh goodness, yes, I’m so curious I can feel it banging at my ribcage. But I have to contain my feelings.

“Curious about what?”

“How we stay open with no customers.”

“Oh,” I say, nodding my head a little too fast. “I wondered.”

“We have a lot of online business. But my mom insists on keeping the storefront hours regular, so we do.”

That gets me wondering. “Why did you hire me then?”

Jax’s head is leaned back, looking at the ceiling. He has a really long beautiful neck and a handsome Adam’s apple, if there is such a thing.

“It’s all for my mom. She can’t always be here.”

Of course it was for his mom. He’s such a sweetheart.

“But why did you hire me specifically?”

Did I seriously just say that? I relax for one minute and my mouth just runs off without me.

Jax looks at me, the corner of his mouth tugging up.

“You were so nice to my grandpa. He understands a lot of English, but will only say one phrase. And he said it to you. Plus your trumpet playing was killer good.”

It takes all my willpower not to hide my face, which is quickly heating up.

“Thank you,” I whisper.

“For what?”

I want to thank him for being healthy, for talking to me, for seeing me as worthy enough to have a conversation with. But I just say, “For hiring me. I really needed the job.”

“I envy you,” he says.

Me? There’s nothing to envy in my life. “Why?”

“You can just go out and get a job. And you clearly have a passion for music. Music is a dream I once had and even achieved, but I needed to let go of it for bigger reasons.”

It takes a great deal of strength to unmask myself as his fangirl and keep from asking why he left Take5 to come to my nothing corner of the world and run this little music shop with his family, but I don’t want to scare him off, so I hold my tongue. About that anyway.

“Well...if there’s something bigger than a dream,” I say, “it was probably worthy.”

Not that I’m one to give Jax advice, but it felt like the right thing to say in the moment.

“You’re right. And maybe I can go back someday. When the time is right.”

I want to encourage him at the very least, but how can I do that and keep up my lie? I never thought I’d wish to be a regular girl who hadn’t discovered Kpop, but if I had been the person Jax thinks I am this would be a simple conversation with no consequences. As it is, one wrong move could scare him away and send him running again.

“I’m—” I start, but the jingle of bells interrupts me.

“Hey there,” Penny says, sweeping into the shop.

Jax gets up and hugs his mother. “I wish you had told me you were going somewhere.”

“I figured Jackie would tell you,” she answers.

Penny pushes out of the hug to look at her son. “In fact, I felt so great being out. I’m healthy enough now that maybe it’s time for you to go ba—”

“Mom,” Jax looks to her, then to me. “Let’s not talk about that here.”

It all clicks into place. There’s only one reason Jax would leave Take5 and go into hiding. His mom must’ve been seriously ill. With what, I don’t know. But why else would she mention being healthy enough? I hope she really is okay,

“Hello? Jackie?” Penny waves a hand in front of my face and I startle. “Did you have a good first day?”

I stand, trying to be as polite as possible. “Yes. Thank you so much for hiring me. My next shift is at the same time tomorrow?”

“It is,” she says. “We’ll see you then.”

“Thanks again,” I say with a wave, heading for the door.

Both Jax and Penny return the gesture as I exit and continue to do so even as I walk into the parking lot. They stand at the window and don’t turn around until they see me safely in my van and driving away.

That was it then. I had to tell Gracie and Alyssa. Jax needed to be back with Take5, and I would do everything in my power to make sure Penny stayed safe and healthy. But that wasn’t something I could accomplish alone.