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I help a customer buy a new guitar string and some picks, then see them out the door. As soon as I know for sure they’re in the parking lot, I go to Jax’s hiding place and open it up.
“They left.” I say, gently.
He’s crouched in the corner, arms around his knees and head down, vulnerable and small. A little knot forms in my chest and I have to force myself not to reach out a hand for him.
“Thanks,” he answers, his voice weak.
“Can I ask you a question?” It seems like the right time for this, without coming off as too suspicious.
He doesn’t say anything, just looks at me with those sultry dark eyes.
“You don’t have to tell me, but I couldn’t help but notice you hid as soon as someone came in the shop and—”
When he speaks, his tone is flat. “Don’t say it. It’s not really something I can talk about.”
My gaze falls to floor. I pin one arm to my side and give myself a half of a hug with the other hand. Because I can’t hug Jax.
I hear shuffling and look to see him standing. He dusts off his backside and shakes out his legs. He meets my gaze again, but this time he’s smiling. That smile doesn’t bring me the usual amount of joy. Because this time he’s forcing it in order to be more positive.
“I should probably go home,” he says. “Just in case we get more customers.”
“No,” I say, then clap my hands over my mouth. I didn’t mean to blurt that, but my feelings overtook my ability to think things through.
“No?” he answers, a playfulness in his smirk.
“I mean,” I backpedal, “it’s kind of lonely here, and I was enjoying our conversation.”
Lame, lame, lame. Every word is unconvincing.
“You were?”
I run my fingers through my dark hair and light tips, tucking the locks behind my ear as I try to phrase what I want to say next in the best possible way.
“Yeah,” I start, not making eye contact. “I’m not usually this outgoing, and it’s nice to make a new friend.”
I still can’t bring myself to look at him, but he moves forward, towards me, until I catch sight of his feet.
He bends sideways until I see his face, then he follows me as I raise my head and make eye contact.
“This is you being outgoing?”
I laugh, covering my face as it heats up once more. “Yes,” I squeak.
He clicks his tongue. “Seriously? Don’t hide.”
I lower my fingers until I’m peering over them, but don’t remove my hands.
“If this is you being outgoing, then we have a lot to work on.” There’s lightness in his voice that tells me he’s enjoying this, but all I can think of is the word we. He said we. Not me, not him, but we.
“Like what?” I ask, releasing my arms.
“Honestly, I haven’t had a new friend in a while, either. So, you can practice your social skills on me.”
I press my lips together, a smile blooming in my stomach. “And how do you propose I do that?”
“First of all,” he says, “stop using nerdy words like propose.”
This time the smile makes it to my lips. “What’s wrong with being a nerd?”
He pauses. Nothing makes Jax pause, so I’ve leveled up in my social skills already.
“Absolutely nothing,” he says. “In fact, I like nerds.”
I freeze, heart thumping. Why does that feel like an indirect confession?
An awkward laugh escapes, a thin mask for my emotions.
“That’s the other thing about being more social,” he says, and his eyes cut through the mask I’m trying desperately to keep between us. “You can’t be afraid to say what you’re thinking.”
I take a deep breath. “But what if they ridicule me?”
“Then they’re not worth your time.” He speaks so firmly it leaves no room for doubt. “Why don’t you practice on me, right now?”
Goodness, he’s dreamy. It messes with my ability to form complete sentences.
“Okay, but I can’t think of anything.”
“Sure you can,” he says. “You must be thinking something.”
In reality I’m thinking about how cute Jax is when he’s animated, which is like, always, but still.
“Maybe we...It would be awesome...ugh.” I’m really butchering this. If I want to help him I have to find the courage to speak up for him, but I’m still holding myself back.
He taps his hands to his chest. “What’s so scary about me? I promise, nothing you can say will bother me. I’ve heard it all.”
If only he knew exactly how terrifying he is.
“You want to know what’s on my mind?” I say, deciding to be as straightforward as I can. “I think it’s absolute crap you’re hiding whenever a customer comes in. Are you a prisoner? What did you do so wrong?”
I hope he doesn’t catch on to me being his fangirl, but that fact that he hid when someone came in gives me a valid reason to address my feelings on the issue.
He smiles, gaze flicking to the ceiling, then back to me. “You want to play it that way, huh?”
I’ve already gone down this path, so there’s no turning back. Besides, I can’t help him if he refuses to talk about it. “Yes.”
His jaw flexes. “I’m not a prisoner. I can go anywhere I want.”
“Prove it then.” I can’t believe I say it, but now that I’ve opened up my mouth is running away with me.
He’s looking everywhere but at me. “I don’t have to prove anything.”
“Hang out with me then.” Now my heart is in my throat and pounding so hard I’m afraid I’ll vomit.
“Wait, are you serious?” His eyes are huge and his mouth is open, his eyebrows so high they’re almost hidden by his hair.
Why wouldn’t I be? “Yes. After work, come see a movie with me.”
It seems like the safest place to go since it’ll be mostly dark.
“What movie?”
“Whatever,” I say. “As long as it’s not too gory or weird.” Come to think of it, I get squeamish at a lot of movies. “Like superhero movies are okay. Something funny. With action, but not blood.”
I almost throw romance in there as well, but I don’t want Jax to get the wrong idea. It’s not like I haven’t dreamed of dating Jax, but I’m fully aware it’s a dream and not something that would happen in reality. Ever.
“Look at you,” he says. “Becoming a regular chatty Kathy.”
Maybe I am, but I can tell he’s hedging. “I get it,” I say, goading him. “You’re afraid.”
“No,” he says. “I’m not. But I can’t go today. Really. I have plans with the family at home tonight. Besides, don’t you have school in the morning?”
I do, but I wasn’t going to let that stop me. My mom might be mad, but I’d find a way to tell her it was for a vital reason.
“How about Saturday night instead?”
I glance to the front desk where the schedule is sitting. “I think I work in the morning, so I won’t be here at night.”
“No, silly,” he says, his face bright. “I’ll come to your house and pick you up. Like a date? That’s why you’re asking me, right?”
Oh gosh, why did he have to go there?
“See,” I say, waving a finger at him. “I suck at this socializing thing. I seriously just wanted to hang out as friends.” But only because I’m three years younger than him. Nineteen-year-olds aren’t interested in high school students.
“Ouch,” he says, feigning hurt. “So you don’t want to go out with me?”
“No,” I backtrack, I definitely want to go out with him. “I just didn’t want you to get the wrong idea.”
“I see,” he says. “You want a platonic relationship only.”
“That’s not what I’m saying.” Why is everything coming out wrong? “I didn’t want you to feel pressured or anything. I only thought it would be fun.”
“So you do like me,” he says, wiggling his eyebrows.
“Very funny,” I answer, suddenly understanding he was teasing me. “Forget it.”
I march over to the front desk and start organizing papers until none of them are out of line.
“Oh, come on,” Jax says. Judging by the sound of his voice, he’s followed me across the room, but I don’t look up. “Don’t be like that. I really do want to go out with you.”
I raise my head. “What? Why?”
Holy moley he’s close to me. I can smell something clean and manly wafting off him that makes me dizzy. His eyes are so dark I feel like I could be sucked right into them and never come out. How didn’t I realize he was leaning over the desk like that?
“Why would you ask why?” he says with a smirk. “I think you’re cool. You’re nice to my family, you ask for my advice with a new instrument, and you’re overly worried about my hermit status. You intrigue me.”
Wow. He’s not one to dance around something, is he? Unless... “Are you teasing me again?”
His expression grows serious. “No. I promise.” But his smile doesn’t stay away for long. “I don’t promise I won’t tease you again, but I’m not teasing right now. Let’s go see a movie. Together. Saturday. I’ll pick you up.”
I seem to have lost my ability to breathe.
“It’s just a date,” he says with a shrug.
Right, like him asking me out isn’t the biggest deal in the history of deals. But I get what he’s saying. It’s not like he’s asking me to be his girlfriend.
Still, even one date with Jax sounds like the best thing ever.
“Okay,” I agree. “It’s a date.”
The Friendship