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I walk into school Friday morning, already wishing school was out so I could have the whole weekend with Jax. Plus, my birthday is on Sunday, and that means cake.
The chem teacher has piled busy work on us with hardly any lecture, so I have my head down and focused when there’s a knock on the classroom door.
“Jackie Bartell?”
Our secretary is standing there, holding a single rose.
“She’s right over there.” My teacher points, and my cheeks warm.
I’m so surprised I’m being singled out I don’t fully process it until the secretary holds the rose out for me to take. Every head in the classroom turns to me.
“Thank you,” I croak, accepting it.
There’s a little vial of water on the bottom of the rose so it’ll stay alive through the day. There’s also a paper attached around the middle with my name in clear bold letters.
All eyes are on me, but I slink down in my seat, wishing I could turn invisible.
“Get back to work,” the teacher calls. Thank goodness because that allows me to take a peek without prying eyes.
Since I can’t come to your school, it reads, I thought I’d send part of your birthday to you.
I hold the rose close to me and inhale. I’ve never seen anything more beautiful in my life.
Gracie sits directly in front of me, and I tap her on the shoulder and hand her the rose so she can see what’s going on.
She turns around in her seat to hand it back, a stifled squeal coming from her mouth. The teacher gives us both the death glare, and I set the rose to the side of my desk and keep working.
It feels like all the whispers in the halls are about me as I go to my next class. Alyssa joins me and Gracie in the hall, and I show her the rose.
“Seriously?” Gracie says. “Jax is the best boyfriend. Why can’t I find someone like that?”
“I should’ve been a Kpop fan, too,” Alyssa sighs. “Then maybe I’d be able to find a guy of my own.”
“It’s never too late,” I tell both of them before walking in to English with Alyssa.
We’re having silent reading time when there’s a knock. It’s a different secretary this time, and she’s holding a little stuffed bear.
“Jackie Bartell?”
“Right here,” I say unafraid.
She comes to me and I snatch the bear from her and hug it. There’s a little note on the paw that says to push it, but I have a feeling it’ll play noise, and I’d rather do that in private.
Concentering on English is impossible as I keep staring at the bear, but I muster through. When the bell rings, I’m the first one of there, booking it to the nearest bathroom stall.
I lock myself in and push the little button. Jax’s deep voice comes through as he sings one line of Happy Birthday to You, then tells me to have an amazing day.
My head is completely in the clouds as I leave the bathroom with both my rose and my bear tight to my chest.
I get to third period and take my seat in between Gracie and Alyssa, who both have their eyes on my gifts.
“He sings happy birthday on it,” I say, unable to contain my grin.
“This is so unfair,” Gracie says. “I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life.”
“It really feels that way,” Alyssa adds.
The teacher gets our attention and starts in on the lecture. I do my best to focus, but the clock doesn’t tick fast enough.
About halfway through the lesson there’s another knock on the door, and this time I’m not surprised when the secretary asks for me. She hands me a bottle of vanilla lotion, and I vaguely remember telling Jax it was one of my favorite scents.
The note reads, You always smell amazing, but I guess girls like this stuff...
Gracie doesn’t say anything, but shakes her head.
Nothing comes during lunch, but for each of my classes I get a gift. Fourth period it was a nice drinking bottle with my name in vinyl, fifth period a daisy, sixth period a candle, and seventh period a box of chocolates. I end up putting some of my gifts in my backpack because I can’t hold them all, and even then they barely fit.
The two flowers are the ones I hold onto constantly smelling them and reliving Jax’s words. A beautiful daisy for a beautiful girl.
Both Alyssa and Gracie meet me at our usual spot after school, and we start the walk out to the parking lot.
Gracie swoons. “I can’t believe how great he is.”
“And he’s cute,” Alyssa adds.
I beam. “He wanted to take care of me, because he can’t take me out.”
“What is up with that, anyway?” Gracie asks.
Alyssa nods. “I mean, we get that he was an idol and everything, and that he doesn’t want to be found out, but it seems like there’s something more going on there.”
I raise an eyebrow. “What’s weird about him wanting to protect his mom?”
“Think about it,” Alyssa answers. “Yes, his mom has been through health issues, but she’s mostly got it managed, and Jax’s dad is helping.”
“It’s not like they’re poor,” Gracie points out. “They can get extra help if they need it.”
“And what’s so scandalous about his mom having MS?” Alyssa retorts. “It’s not like it’s an unknown disease or that she did anything wrong.”
I pause right after we get outside the front doors. I’ve had all these same thoughts, but I haven’t wanted to face them. Being with Jax is the best thing that ever happened to me and I’d rather not dig too deep. I don’t want to upset the good things I have going, but I also know I can’t avoid it forever.
“You guys remember that day we played a gig near Santa Monica?” I say.
“Of course we do,” Alyssa comments.
“How could we forget?” Gracie asks.
I furrow my brow, playing over the events of that day.
“Well,” I swallow hard, hating that I’m trying to figure this out now, “when I chased after Jax, he said something to me from across the street.”
“Oh yeah?” Gracie asks.
I raise my head to the sky. “He said not to look for him.” Which leads right back to everything Alyssa and Gracie were asking. If he didn’t want me looking for him, if he truly cannot be found out, then there is something more going on, but I don’t have any idea what it is, and I feel like he’s keeping it from me.
Alyssa pats my shoulder. “I’m sorry, Jackie. We shouldn’t have brought this up.”
Gracie puts her arm around me and leans into my shoulder. “I’m sure he’ll tell you when the time is right.”
I nod, but I can’t help the squirmy feeling that’s in my stomach.
Alyssa’s voice goes bright. “Besides, you got lucky. He didn’t recognize you when you ran into him again.”
“Yeah,” Gracie says. “Can you imagine how he would’ve reacted if he knew you were his longtime fan?”
“He would’ve packed up the music shop and moved, probably,” I say.
Alyssa puts her arms around us. “Let’s just focus on the good. He’s seen Jackie for how awesome we already knew she is. It’s like they were meant to be.”
I give Alyssa a squeeze. “Thanks for saying that. Can we just not worry about the other stuff now?”
“Sure,” Gracie says, but a deep voice speaks over her.
“No.”
The three of us turn to a figure walking up the front steps of the school. I don’t know how I didn’t notice him there holding that huge bouquet of flowers and little black box, but he must’ve been lost behind the crowd of students.
I’m not sure how much of our conversation he heard, but there’s no escaping it now. I’ve never seen Jax mad before, and I flinch as he approaches me.
The Birthday