55
As Leah approached her front door that night, a taxi stopped in the road and a man got out. He hauled a large suitcase out behind him and wheeled it along the pavement and up the stairs of the Peacock House. Leah watched from the other side of the road, wondering who he was and what he was doing. It occurred to her that maybe it was Toby’s father, but he looked too young. And, besides, Toby’s father wasn’t due until next month. She stood and waited for someone to come to the door of the house. It was Toby. He looked flushed and a bit unsteady. She couldn’t hear what was being said, but it seemed that the man was a stranger to Toby. Eventually, Toby held open the door, and the man walked in. And then the door closed again.
Leah stared at the house for a moment or two. Her skin was crawling with curiosity. Who was that man? Why did he have a suitcase? Whose friend was he? She’d completely lost touch with the comings and goings in the Peacock House since Amitabh had moved back in. But now she had the perfect reason to catch up. Jack’s invitation.
She crossed the road and knocked on the door. Toby opened it. It was clear, now that she was in close proximity to him, that he was extremely drunk.
‘Oh, my goodness,’ he said, ‘Leah. How totally lovely to see you.’
‘It’s been a while.’
‘I know. It has. Entirely my fault.’
‘No. Mine. I’m sorry. I’ve been meaning to come over for days now …’
‘Well,’ Toby smiled, ‘you’re here now. And you find me somewhat drunk, I’m afraid. Melinda and I have been having a wake.’
‘Oh, no. Who for?’
‘For Boris. Little Borissy Boris. No longer with us, sadly. But happily, too. If you believe in angels. Do you believe in angels, Leah?’
Leah smiled. Toby was funny when he was drunk. ‘No,’ she said, ‘I don’t. But apparently you only start believing in angels when someone you love has died. Do you believe in angels?’
Toby shook his head. ‘No,’ he said, ‘no. Especially not cat angels.’
‘What about spirits?’
‘No. No spirits. Except, maybe tequila. Would you like one?’
Leah blinked at him.
‘No. I suppose that’s not really a particularly tempting offer, at seven o’clock on a Monday night.’
Toby leaned against the doorframe and smiled at Leah. She smiled back at him. ‘Do you think I should shave off all my hair?’ he said, rubbing his hands over his unruly mass of curls.
Leah laughed. ‘What?’
‘Melinda reckons my hair’s a state. Said I should shave it all off, like some pop-star fellow. What do you think, Leah?’
‘No,’ she shook her head and laughed again. ‘You’ve got the wrong-shaped head for shaved hair.’
‘That’s exactly what I said.’ He straightened himself up. ‘Exactly. You’re very observant, Leah. It’s remarkable, what you pick up about people. I wish I was more like you.’
Leah shrugged and smiled. ‘You’re more observant than you think.’
‘I think not. For example, if I were more observant, I might have guessed that you and your ex-boyfriend would be reunited. And if I were really observant I’d have predicted that Ruby’s new boyfriend would arrive on my doorstep on a Monday night, having left his wife. But I am not. I see nothing. I hear nothing. I sit alone, disconnected. An island …’
‘No man is an island, Toby.’
‘Well, then I am a headland and you, Leah, are the causeway.’
He smiled weakly at her and let himself fall against the doorpost again. ‘Oh, God,’ he groaned, letting his head fall onto his fist. ‘Listen to me. Just listen to me. What a drunken, pretentious idiot. And I am absolutely sure you didn’t come here to listen to my pitiful blatherings. What can I do for you, lovely, lovely Leah? Would you like to come in?’
She turned to glance at her flat, where the lit-up windows showed signs of life. ‘No,’ she said. ‘No. I’d better get back …’
‘Yes, yes, yes. Of course, of course, of course.’ Toby nodded emphatically.
‘But I just wanted to let you know, Jack came into the shop today, Italian Jack?’
‘Oh, yes?’
‘And guess what? He’s invited me over for dinner on Saturday night. And he said I could bring whoever I wanted.’
‘Well, well, well.’
‘So? Are you free? Saturday night?’
‘What? Me?’
‘Yes. You and Melinda.’
‘Oh, my God. You mean, this is it? The big set-up?’
‘Yes,’ said Leah. ‘That’s exactly what I mean.’
‘Oh, God. How exciting. I mean, yes, I’m free. And I’m sure Melinda will be. Melinda!’ he called over his shoulder.
‘Yes?’
‘Are you free for dinner on Saturday night?’
‘Depends. Who’s asking?’
‘Me. I’m asking.’
‘Then, yes.’
Toby smiled. ‘Excellent,’ he said. ‘So, who’ll be there?’
‘You, me, Jack and Melinda.’
‘And what about Am … Ama …?’
‘No. Not Amitabh. He’d hate it.’
‘Well, that’s wonderful. Just great.’
‘And also – isn’t it about time we went for that swim?’
‘Oh, so you did get my note, then?’
‘Yes. Amitabh gave it to me. I’ve just been, you know …?’
‘Yes, I do know. I know, I know, I know. I am knowing.’
‘So, shall we go?’
‘Go where, lovely Leah?’
‘Shall we go swimming? This week, maybe?’
‘Yes. We shall. Definitely. When would you like to go?’
‘Thursday afternoon? It’s my day off.’
‘Thursday afternoon, it is. I will invest in some new trunks. And maybe a St Tropez Spray Tan.’
‘I’m going out on Saturday night,’ she said to Amitabh a few moments later.
‘Oh, right,’ he said, untangling the wires on his headphones. ‘Where to?’
‘Out with Toby.’
‘What – him over the road?’
‘Yes.’
He threw her a look.
‘Why?’ she said, defensively. ‘What’s wrong with that?’
‘There’s nothing wrong with it,’ he said. ‘It’s just a bit weird, that’s all.’
‘Weird?’
‘Yeah. Weird. I mean – he’s strange. He’s not the usual sort of person you’d be friends with.’
‘He’s not strange at all. He’s completely charming, as a matter of fact.’
‘OK, OK. No need to be so defensive. I’m just not sure about him, that’s all. Do you think maybe he fancies you?’
Leah spilled farfalle into a pan of boiling water and sighed. ‘No, of course he doesn’t fancy me.’
‘Is he gay?’
‘No. Don’t be stupid. He used to be married.’
‘We both know that means nothing …’
‘Well, anyway. He’s just not. He’s in love with that dark-haired girl, Ruby, so he can’t be.’
‘How the hell do you know that? Did he tell you?’
‘No. It’s just … obvious.’
Leah stirred a fork through the pasta and pulled a jar of pesto sauce out of the fridge. She was finding this conversation very annoying. She was finding Amitabh very annoying. This whole scenario was putting her in mind of Truly Madly Deeply, where the dead lover comes back to the grieving woman as a ghost and completely pisses her off. Amitabh was, without a doubt, a warm and lovely person. But he was also incredibly passive and annoyingly flaccid. He existed in a bubble of here and now-ness. He didn’t look at big pictures or ask himself big questions. It was all about cosiness and comfort and general ease of passage through life. He had no nooks or crannies, no interesting little corners of intriguing mystery. Where Toby was like an old Victorian bureau, full of tiny drawers and cubby holes and secret compartments, Amitabh was more of a blanket box.
‘Where’s he taking you, then, the old charmer?’
‘We’re going for dinner,’ she said.
‘Very nice,’ said Amitabh, plugging his earphones into his hi-fi, ‘very nice indeed.’
Leah forked some pesto out of the jar and into a bowl and ground her teeth together, very gently.