Day 12
Peace
Peace with Others
Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Romans 12:19–21
One of the first places that peace disappears is in relationship to other people. Disagreements, arguments, rejection, hurt—it all comes out of relationships with people. So how does the fruit of the Spirit called peace exist when people disappoint or frustrate you? How do you live a peaceful life when others are pressing you for a fight? The key is in understanding the source of conflict in your life. It isn’t them, it’s you. And that’s a good thing, because you are powerless to change them, but you can change yourself. So let’s see how that works.
Conflict, the opposite of peace, happens when you find a need to protect yourself from something someone else says or does. When you’re in the mode of self-protection, peace takes a backseat to the battle, because peace doesn’t protect you but leaves you vulnerable to the forces outside of yourself. In this self-protection mode, things like competition, standing up for yourself, and proving yourself take center stage. And in all of these situations, life becomes all about you, and the voice of the Holy Spirit is pushed down and unheard over the cacophony of the flesh.
At the root of this way of thinking is the idea that God can’t be trusted to protect you, so you have to do it yourself. This kind of thinking pushes peace out of the picture. After all, peace suggests that Jesus has overcome the world, and clearly he has not, because your life feels like a lonely and stressful struggle on every front. Right?
Wrong.
This is a big mistake. There are no battles for you to fight where God’s ultimate victory is in doubt. And while the minutia of your life’s future may be unknown to you, knowing God will work your twists and turns together for good is where true peace lies. That fruit of peace is grown in continually returning to the Holy Spirit to ask his direction and his will rather than heading out on your own, fighting fights and warding off ambushes. This is not your battle; it is the Lord’s (see 1 Sam. 17:47). Peace is meant to be yours, because the only fight to be fought is the good fight of faith. The battle is one of continually returning to the truth that it is through his Spirit, not your power, that lives are changed. This applies just as much to those around you—going to battle with other people does not change them, but it changes you from a faithful one to a doubter, because in the need to prove something, you doubt that God is sufficient, and you fail to trust him. Then peace is gone, and you are left on your own in the struggles of life.
But the Holy Spirit is always there in the life of faith, always waiting for you to turn your ear to him and to trust that no matter what battles rage around you, peace remains. It is the peace the psalmist knew full well as he said, “We will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling” (Ps. 46:2–3 ESV). And so it goes that the life lived through the filter of the Holy Spirit will find peace, because you have nothing to fear when you trust God with your life, your reputation, and your future.
- Think about It
What is at the root of your conflicts with other people? Can you see the places where you fight for self-protection and to prove yourself?
In what ways does this reveal your distrust in God as protector and provider?
In what ways does it reveal you putting your self-interest above God’s?
How easily offended are you? What does being offended do to your peace?
Why are you offended by others?
What is an alternative to taking offense?
Are there any conflicts you are entangled in right now? If so, what would God have you do to remove yourself from them? Pray and ask him now.
Matthew 6:14 says, “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.” Is there someone you need to forgive? You don’t need to ask their forgiveness unless they are aware of the conflict. If they are unaware, then forgiveness involves you giving up your right to obsess over what they did and deciding not to talk about it with anyone else ever again. In this way you forgive them by not using it against them anymore. When you do this, you will find peace.
- Give It
Is there someone in your life who needs the fruit of peace from you? God is a God of peace and reconciliation. If someone has something against you and you are at odds with them, make peace. In this way you will feed them the fruit of the Spirit and allow them to see God in a beautiful and tangible way.
Dear God, teach me to lose. Teach me to put you first and allow myself to be last. I do not know how to die to myself and my fears, but I trust your Holy Spirit to teach me as you give me the peace that passes all understanding. Please allow me to feel the peace that exists even when people anger me, hurt me, or reject me. Amen.
- Lose It
This week, be willing to lose. The next time you are corrected or rejected, be willing to lose, not in order to punish yourself but to experience your trust in God and your devotion to him over your own reputation. Trust him to prove you, to be your voice and your Savior, and give up your right to fight.