Day 28
Self-Control
Self-Control Denies Self
If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.
Mark 8:34
Self-control is a fruit of the Spirit. It isn’t the source of all the other fruit, but it does impact how the Holy Spirit operates in your life. Because the word self figures so prominently in the word self-control, it’s easy to apply self-help ideas to getting yourself more under control. It can be easy to think it’s about working hard at mastering something you really want in or out of your life. But that’s a wrong approach to the life of self-control. It’s more about turning yourself over to someone than controlling yourself. In other words, self-control has to do with subduing your self and surrendering it to God. It has to do with stopping your self-life from reigning supreme and instead putting it under the authority of the Holy Spirit. In this way you don’t control through the power of self, but your self is controlled by the Holy Spirit, to whom you have surrendered all authority.
When you think about all of the areas where you lack the fruit of the Spirit, it can be easy to freak out and think you have so much work to do. But that’s not true. What really needs to take place is surrender. It goes like this. Each time that you are tempted to sin and to obey your flesh, you simply turn your thoughts and actions over to the Holy Spirit and rely on him to direct your ways. Each time you do this, sin will become less and less automatic, and the fruit will become more and more abundant. That’s because it isn’t by your power that any of this fruit grows, but it’s by his and his alone. But in order for that to happen, you have to give up; you have to stop trying to do it by your own strength and instead relinquish control to the Holy Spirit.
When you see areas in your life where you lack fruit, self-control involves giving up the effort and instead turning your mind toward God’s thoughts on the subject. As you start to read in his Word about the fruit and to learn his thoughts and make them a part of your life, his Holy Spirit will make the fruit a part of your life as well. So it isn’t this tough job you have to do to control yourself, but it’s a commitment you have to make in order to make his thoughts more important than yours. See, self-control isn’t the act of turning your life over to your self to control; it isn’t about believing in yourself, trusting yourself, or even loving yourself more, but it’s about giving up your self to the life of the Holy Spirit.
This might seem like a dangerous prospect, and that has kept many people from a life of surrender. But the truth is, to deny yourself and to take up your cross and follow Christ is to put your self-life to death in favor of the Holy Spirit. This self-death might sound dangerous—after all, who will care for you if you don’t? But the truth is that it isn’t until you die to self that you can live for Christ. You cannot live for both of you; if you try, you will end up putting yourself first more often than not. But the life of faith and abundant fruit is found in making him your obsession rather than yourself.
So self-control has to do with giving up self rather than mastering it. That’s good news, because it means it isn’t up to you beyond the point of surrender. Giving yourself up to him is your part. Then as you keep your mind on him as your Savior, rather than looking to self, you find yourself in possession of more self-control than you could ever dream of. Your self-control becomes his job once you give your self-life up to him.
- Control It
In what areas of your life do you lack self-control?
How have you tried and failed to control yourself?
When you think about the idea of surrender, how do you feel? Does it scare you? Can you accept it? If not, what is your other option?
How would you define self-control based on what you’ve learned?
Do you want more self-control in your life? Spend some time with God now and surrender your life to the Holy Spirit.
What does it mean to die to self?
Are there areas in your life that are inconsistent with the life of Christ and need to die? How will you forsake them?
How does humility figure in with this death to self?
What does dying to self do to your pride?
Matthew 10:38–39
Matthew 20:16
Luke 14:27
- Try It
What areas in your life could use your death to self? To get you thinking, here are some areas where death is essential:
Self-protection—involving fear, control, revenge, fights, bossiness
Self-hate—involving guilt, self-injury, self-loathing
Self-obsession—involving worry over looks, weight, future, grades, success, failure, pride
Self-pleasure—involving comfort, lust, laziness, entertainment, perfectionism, obsessive-compulsiveness
As you identify the areas in your life where there needs to be less of you in order for there to be more of him, confess your sin to God and promise repentance. Don’t let your self-life become your God, but instead turn your life over to him and be free.
Dear God, I surrender all. I give up my life to you. I have tried to control myself and I cannot, but I trust you to give me self-control as a fruit of your Spirit. Please teach me your ways and give me your strength that I might not sin but instead choose to deny myself and take up my cross and follow you. Amen.