JENNIFER ROSE SAT IN her car and stared at the entrance to the Old Coyote Bar and Grille. The last of the sun’s rays faded behind the Tennessee mountains surrounding the town of Beauty, giving everything a reddish pink tinge. She’d spent the afternoon finishing her student reports and taking care of all the details that came with the end of the school year, then she’d packed up her classroom and piled the stuff into her car. Now her hands were wrapped so tightly around her steering wheel that her fingers ached.
“You can do this,” she murmured. “You can do this. Just go in there and tell them you’re going, as if nothing ever happened. Doesn’t matter if it’s all a lie because your plans are ruined. They don’t need to know that. What business is it of theirs, anyway? Come fall, you can say things fell through and it’s no big deal. Just stop whining and do it. You can do—”
Her car door opened suddenly. “Out.”
Jenn blinked and then glared at Suzanne Dawson, the teacher in the classroom next door to hers, and her best friend since she’d moved to town. Usually a smiling, easygoing person, her friend glared right back at Jenn.
“You’ve been sitting here five minutes staring at the restaurant and muttering to yourself like a crazy woman. Let’s go—I’m starving.”
The words brought a scowl. It so wasn’t fair. Suzanne ate nonstop and looked like a twig. “Have you lost more weight?”
“Nice try. You’re going in there. Forget about all the D-Day stuff. Let’s have some fun.”
Easy for her to say. Suzanne had major plans for the summer. Snorkeling. In Hawaii. Lying on the beach with her skinny body in a bathing suit that was comprised of strings and patches. If Suzanne wasn’t such a nice person, Jenn definitely would hate her. “I will. I am.” I’m going to do this.
Declaration Day was a longstanding tradition at Beauty Elementary, a way to unwind and linger with friends the teachers probably wouldn’t see much over the summer. Every year until now Jenn had enjoyed the gathering because she’d actually had plans for the summer. Real plans, not fake ones.
“Then what are you waiting for? You can’t let that jerk of an ex end your life just because he thought the grass was greener in what’s-her-name’s pants. It’s time to move on.” Suzanne reached in and began tugging on her arm. “Come on, out.”
“I’m coming, I’m coming! And I know it’s time—it’s not that exactly.” But how could she explain? Suzanne wasn’t like her. She was outgoing and funny and always ready to party. She wouldn’t think twice about going on vacation alone. But Jenn?
Stop being such a chicken. You should go. You should.
Oh, why did vacationing alone seem so impossible?
“You’re mad because that jerk shouldn’t have treated you the way he did. You’re mad because you let him—”
“I didn’t let him. I brought up the idea of getting a divorce first. He just beat me to filing.”
“And now you’re wondering if you’ll ever feel normal again.” Suzanne’s perfectly arched eyebrows rose. “Am I close?”
Sort of. Actually she’d felt relatively normal for a while now, compared to the off-kilter, how-did-this-happen daze she’d been in for most of the past year, but what if what she really had to have out of life was something…extraordinary?
You don’t ask for much, do you?
She’d tell them she was going, then she’d go to her parents’ house in Cincinnati and lay by their condo pool. No pictures? No problem. She’d say she lost her phone. Or maybe someone stole it—or she could print some pictures off the Internet. That would work.
Jenn swallowed, took a long look at the restaurant’s entrance and groaned. “You left out the part about how our divorce totally destroyed my vacation plans. Forget Todd—”
“Thata girl.”
“He’s a jerk and I know it, but, darn it, I really wanted to go on that vacation.”
“Then go. But watch your language,” Suzanne teased. “Sheesh, are you getting wild on me or what?”
If only.
The thought came out of nowhere, but Jenn meant it. Wild wouldn’t care about traveling alone. Wild would see it as an adventure and fun and…There were times when she really wanted to be wild. Wanted to know that all the doubts and insecurities about herself, instilled by Todd, weren’t true. Was she having an early midlife crisis? A post-divorce meltdown?
Suzanne snickered and Jenn blushed when she realized she’d been talking aloud. What all had she said?
“Let’s go figure it out inside. Come on—it’s time to have some fun. Aren’t you tired of moping around?”
Unbelievably so. “You know I am.”
“Then smile. That’s the first trait of a woman out on the town. Her flirtatious smile. Oh, pulleeeze, that’s just sad. Fake it if you have to.” Her friend’s voice lowered and a glint appeared in her eyes. “You can’t tell me you never faked it with Todd.” She raised her hand, her thumb and first finger a couple inches apart. “Come on, be honest.”
Jenn choked.
“Ha, I knew it! That smile says it all—and it looks beautiful on you. Now, follow instructions and do this.” She held up a finger and tapped a front tooth.
Jennifer glanced around the shadowy parking lot to see if anyone was watching them. “Suzanne—”
“Do it.”
Obedient, she tapped her tooth with her fingernail. What silliness was this?
“Feel that?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Good. Remember that later. Because right now you’re going to go in there, smile that beautiful smile every single time you think about Cheating McCheater and have a great evening with friends. Right?”
“Wh-right,” She hated that she sounded like Elmer Fudd. “But why am I doing this?” She dropped her hand in a hurry as an older couple drove by and shot her a funny look.
Suzanne grinned. “Stop it. Why are you worried about them—who cares?”
“Right.” She shrugged. “Not me.”
“Good. And that,” Suzanne said, holding her crooked finger up in front of her mouth, “is in case I forget to tell you later. When you can’t feel it anymore?”
“Yeah?”
“Then it’s time to stop drinking.”
An hour later, Jenn stared in wonder at Amy Warren. The first-grade teacher danced across the Old Coyote’s small dance floor completely uninhibited and, more importantly, not drunk.
Despite Suzanne’s inane comment about knowing it was time to stop drinking when she couldn’t feel her teeth, Jenn and all the other teachers present were very aware of small-town public appearances and how a wrong move would reflect badly on all of them.
The school board probably wouldn’t care if their teachers got together over drinks on the last day of the school year, but all those present had ordered soft drinks or iced tea so their professional reputations would remain intact and gossip would be kept at bay.
Which meant Amy’s dancing had nothing to do with alcohol or reputations and everything to do with a lack of inhibition. And that begged the question…Was Todd right?
So many reservations held Jenn back. She wanted to go to Paradise Island, but she was afraid. Who wanted to go on vacation alone?
But look at the dance floor. She wouldn’t be alone there and she wanted to dance, and yet was she dancing? No.
Chicken.
With good reasons. The main one being her body and the extra weight she carried. Always a chubby kid, she’d long ago learned not to draw attention to herself. Since discovering her ex’s infidelity, all she had done was eat her disgust with herself, to the tune of a whopping twenty—oh, who was she kidding? thirty—pounds. In eighteen months. On a body that was already short and already soft, thirty pounds was a lot. One wiggle and everything on her jiggled. Who wanted to look like Jell-O?
Rolling her eyes, Jenn grabbed her empty soda glass and got to her feet, unable to pull her gaze from Amy’s movements and the smile her friend wore as she danced and sang along to “It’s Raining Men”. How did she do that? How did Amy let go and have fun, dance, despite everyone watching?
“Need another?”
Startled out of her thoughts, she looked up and found herself face-to-face with a drop-dead-gorgeous man. The bartender? “Um…”
A slow grin spread across his face. A heart-stopping, toe-curling, sex-me-down smile that mushed her insides into nothing in the split second it took the smile to reach his eyes.
As if you’d ever stand a chance with a guy like him.
On a scale from one to ten, she was a five at best. Maybe a six on a good day, and that was being way generous. He was a fifteen. And fifteens didn’t look at sixes.
Unless they were a size six.
“What would you like, sweetheart?”
Sweetheart? The waiter had called her ma’am, not that there was anything wrong with that, but it had made her feel old. And fat. Ma’ams were typically more matronly and…substantial. Weren’t they?
The bartender wants a big tip. It’s called flirting, Jenn. Remember that? Sadly, it had been a while. “A Coke. Please. Sorry, I’m a little distracted.”
His grin widened, as if he’d heard that one before and her face burned with embarrassment. No doubt he had rendered more than one woman speechless over the years.
“You want rum with that?”
She shook her head and handed over her glass, imagining she felt a tingle streaking up her arm when their fingers brushed. Yeah, right. The bartender was six-feet-plus of hard-muscled male. The tanned, outdoorsy, athletic type that put Todd’s non-muscular lean build to shame. While he got her drink, Jenn tried to picture herself out with such a guy and failed.
She hadn’t impressed her ex-husband, and she didn’t imagine short, pudgy and studious would appeal to a man whose biceps couldn’t be contained by the sleeves of his black T-shirt. If Todd had thought her boring, she’d be nothing short of coma-inducing to a man like this.
“There you go. A Coke, straight up. Anything else?”
How about you? She rolled her eyes at the foolish thought. Hey, at least you’ve got good taste. He would certainly be a great way to spend the summer. Maybe he’d want to go to Paradise? “No, th-thanks. What do I owe you?”
White teeth flashed, all the brighter paired with his sun-darkened face and uniquely beautiful silver-blue eyes. Toss in the deeply etched lines bracketing both sides of his mouth and a day’s worth of stubble on his chin and cheeks, and gorgeous was a poor description. Pure fantasy was more accurate.
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll let you slide this once.” That said, he tilted his head toward the others who were with her, smiling lazily. “Y’all look as if you’re having fun over there. Special occasion?”
His slow Tennessee drawl sounded, oh, so sexy. Was there anything wrong with this guy? Where was the fairness in life—why couldn’t people be equally attractive? It was a question she’d like the answer to one day.
Shaking her head at her thoughts, Jenn took in the scene. Fifteen teachers, all of them women, were out on the dance floor gyrating to the music blaring from the jukebox. Some had rhythm and some didn’t, but they were all having a blast and it showed. Why couldn’t she just close her eyes and go be a part of it? Just do it. Be wild.
Jenn took a sip of her drink, her feet planted firmly on the well-worn wooden planks. “It’s the last-day-of-school celebration.”
The bartender’s forehead wrinkled and he stared at the group, those stunning eyes of his becoming thoughtful. “The teacher thing. Uncle Cyrus mentioned that, but I’d forgotten about it.”
Uncle Cyrus? She hadn’t lived in Beauty all her life like Suzanne, but she’d learned enough to know pretty much anyone who called the restaurant’s owner “uncle” was a Tulane, a member of one of the town’s founding families.
“This is where all of the teachers reveal their master plans for summer vacation, right? You guys do this every year?”
She nodded, amazed that he’d remember or care about such a thing. “Yeah.”
The bartender continued to gaze at the teachers on the dance floor, the thought of something serious pulling his eyebrows low. “So where are the ones without plans?”
She blinked. No way was she going to identify herself as the sole loser with nothing going on other than a measly graduate-level class for geeks. “Everyone plans something for summer, don’t they?”
“I suppose. If you think of anyone who doesn’t, let me know.”
“Why? Oh, you mean, to wait tables or something?”
Mr. Gorgeous tapped the bar twice with his hand. “Something like that, yeah. Have fun on your teachers’ night out. Don’t get too wild.”
There was that word again. Sighing, she watched the bartender walk over to a customer who was hiking her petite self up onto a bar stool. The woman wore a navel-revealing tank top stretched low across perky boobs, and her waist would have made Scarlett O’Hara turn as green as her window-curtain dress.
Jenn had had a waist. Once.
“Artificially enhanced,” Suzanne suddenly murmured from beside her. “Gets ’em every time.” She leaned against the bar and made a face. “’Til they get up close and personal, and realize most of them are hard as rocks.” She waggled her eyebrows and grinned. “Have I ever introduced you to Nick?”
“Nick?”
Suzanne inclined her head toward the bartender, who was now completely engrossed with Perky Boobs. “No, but that’s okay.”
“What, you don’t like gorgeous men?”
“On magazine covers, sure. But in real life they’re not for me.”
“Oh, really. Why?” Suzanne demanded, the glint in her eyes stating loud and clear that if Jenn put herself down or said the wrong thing, she was going to hear about it.
“Um…” Jenn took in Nick’s thick black hair. “I prefer blondes?”
“The Jerk had brown hair.”
“Exactly. See what I got for choosing a brunette?”
“Uh-huh. You know, a little self-confidence goes a long way. You’re great with your students, but put you with adults and you freeze and become a wallflower.”
“Kids are more fun. And wallflowers are…important. Who else can watch everyone’s purses and make sure the punch bowls are filled?”
Suzanne shook her head at her. “I’m not going to win, am I?”
“Not tonight.” Jenn smirked. “I’m on a roll.” And in a mood. It takes a lot of courage to lie through one’s teeth.
“So I see. The others are saying it’s time to do the deed. Kim has to leave early and finish packing.”
“Me, too. Leave early, I mean. It’s been a long day. Let’s go tease them with Hawaii, then I should head home.”
Suzanne blocked her exit. “Suck it up, chick. Escape is not an option. Come on, you can’t leave us here alone. As the newbie hires, you, Amy and I have to close this party down, remember? Show the others what we’ve got?” she insisted, holding her hands up and dancing to the music.
“What you’ve got. How does Hawaii compare to sitting at home eating Doritos every night or…or Jane. Did you hear? She’s going to Paris with her daughter. And Serena’s going on a missionary trip with her husband. Amy’s heading to Machu Picchu, Glenna’s going on a tour of Tuscany and Jody’s visiting Disney World with her family. There’s not going to be anyone left in Beauty this summer.” She sighed dramatically. “Guess I don’t need to lie about my plans. It’s not as if anyone is going to be here to know one way or the other.”
Suzanne laughed. “Want a little cheese to go with that whine? Come on, it isn’t that bad.”
“Are you sure I can’t just tell them I signed up for a human-development class for my master’s and be done with it? It’s plain, it’s boring…It’s me.”
Suzanne made a sour face. “This summer is your first taste of freedom in how many years?”
“Five,” Jenn admitted reluctantly. “Well, eight if you count two years of dating and the months until the divorce was final.”
“And you don’t think it’s time to have some fun? Kick up your heels a bit?”
“My divorce-care class taught me that it’s normal to feel anxious this way. They say it’s really important not to jump into relationships or projects too soon, because newly divorced people have a tendency to do impulsive things and regret them later.”
Suzanne nodded. “That’s all well and good, but I don’t think by jumping they meant for you not to pick your feet up off the ground. Your divorce was final last December.”
“Great Christmas present that was,” Jenn muttered. “Besides, who would want to date me like this?”
“Okay, you want to hear me say it? Fine. I’ll admit you’ve put on a little weight but—”
“A little?”
“You still look great. Tell them exactly what you told me at school—that this summer is the Summer of Jenn. Have a makeover, then go to class and get out and about and when you meet a nice guy, you’ll realize you’re worrying for nothing.”
“I do like the sound of that.”
Suzanne wrapped an arm around Jenn’s shoulders and prodded her toward the tables. “Stick with me, kid. We’ll get you through this yet.”
Jenn’s heart thudded in her chest, and she braced herself to face the group. She needed a nudge, something to get her sufficiently psyched to carry out her ideas about rejuvenating herself, body and soul. Trip or no trip. But what? Everyone knew a person had to have the right mindset to diet and exercise, and hers was seriously lacking motivation. All she wanted to do these days was drown her sorrows in chocolate.
And then she saw him.
Standing at the table surrounded by her friends, she noticed Todd at the entrance. He hadn’t gained an ounce since their divorce—if anything he looked better than ever. Then Todd turned to his side and snagged hold of his beach-bunny mistress and Jenn watched as the man she’d supported through med school, the man she’d spent way too much time on, waiting for him to call, to notice her, to care as he was supposed to care, lowered his head for a blazing kiss from the skinny bimbo who was barely out of high school.
“Jenn, what are you doing this summer? Come on, tell us!”
She felt Suzanne’s hand on her arm. “Are you okay? You look a little—”
“I’m taking my life back,” she whispered, her voice growing stronger as anger and mortification coursed through her veins. She’d been such an easy mark. Someone to play mommy and take care of everything from laundry and cleaning and bills until the perfect trophy wife showed up. Well, not anymore. “This summer is all about me.” She nodded firmly to confirm her words. The Summer of Jenn. Oh, yeah, she liked that.
She’d needed a kick in the pants? Well, this was definitely it. She wasn’t about to stand by and let Todd Dixon ruin the rest of her life. “It’s…it’s about taking control of my life, having fun and becoming the person I want to be.” Not the fool I’ve been.
“Ohh, this sounds good,” Glenna said, her back to the scene unfolding by the entrance.
Thank God the others didn’t see. But Jenn heard the whispers starting at the end of the long table, saw more and more of them turn their heads toward the entrance.
“What are you going to do? Are you going somewhere? One of those spas in the desert?” Glenna asked.
“Come on, Jenn, stop being so secretive,” Amy teased her.
Using Suzanne’s trick, Jenn flashed them all a blazing smile, remembering that Todd hadn’t been all that great in bed. Ha! One good thing about dating someone so young was that the poor girl no doubt had a daddy complex and didn’t realize Todd’s four-minute sex-capades weren’t exactly world-class.
Jenn grabbed her purse and keys and gave them a breezy woman-on-a-mission laugh. You can do this. “That’s something you’ll have to wait to hear about later. For now I’ve got to go or…or I’ll be late.”
“Late for what? Jenn, you’re bad! Where are you going?”
Jenn pretended not to hear as she walked away from the table. She marched right past the bar and the gorgeous bartender and Miss Perky Boobs. Past Todd and his sleazy arm candy, with her skirt too short and tight, her back bare in a halter top, without the slightest sign of a tan line, bra strap or fat roll, and out the door.
And all the while she hoped and prayed no one would even notice.