Dream a Dream

Angel

Our visit to Damian’s brother’s house was unexpected, but despite not being around a whole family for a long time, it didn’t hurt as much as I thought it would. The opposite, really. They welcomed me into their home and I felt as though they cared for me without question just because Damian does. At least, I assume he does.

This guy has my heart now, and admitting that is terrifying.

Genie’s taking me for a walk around the neighbourhood to help me clear my head, but the bustling city streets and chilly wind don’t provide a tranquil escape to think. By think, I mean over-analyze what I’ve gotten myself into with this man who seems to have it all. I can’t stop questioning what he even sees in me. At no time over the past four days have I come to a peaceful resolution to set my mind at ease. I guess answers will require an honest conversation. Something I also owe Dina.

Unfortunately, I have too much work to get done today, so once Genie and I are back home, work is my priority. There’s no time for over-analyzing my relationship with Damian, and I will hold off on opening old wounds with Dina until a day I can dedicate my attention to her.

Four hours later, I’m immersed in another freelance gig designing some logos and graphics for a website when my ringtone plays. A call from Hannah.

“Hey, girl!”

“Hey, stranger. I take it that things got sorted out with Damian?” Her sing-song voice makes me giggle.

“Yeah, you could say that. Thanks for setting me straight.”

“That’s what friends are for. So, are you two official now? Do I get to meet him yet? Akili is a superb judge of character. I can bring her to give him the once over.”

Again, I laugh, imagining Damian trying to win over Akili, who would never hurt a fly. Unlike Nacho. “Genie’s put him through his paces. So far he’s passed with flying colours. But no, we’re not official. I don’t know what we are, actually. We’re just kind of… us.” I get up from my office chair to go search for Genie. Since I’m not working at the moment, I might as well give her attention. “What about you? How are things going?”

“Ugh. Being unemployed is the worst. I’m so bored, I’ve been begging my mother to host a dinner party so I can cook something for other people.”

Hannah’s words hit me a punch to the gut. I still feel that it’s my fault she is unemployed.

“I’m so sorry. You’d still have a job if it weren’t for me.”

“Don’t you dare start that!” Hannah shouts into the phone. “I quit because I wanted to. You didn’t make me. The situation that Harrington allowed made the choice for me, not you. Beyond that, this is pushing me out of my comfort zone. I’ve applied for jobs from Vancouver to Halifax, though I skipped Quebec because ma francais est tres mal.”

Her terrible French makes me laugh. At least she hasn’t lost her quirky sense of humour.

I find Genie in my bedroom, sprawled across the bed in a slant of sunlight peeking through the curtains. “You really want to move out of Toronto? Out of Ontario?”

“Not if I have a choice, but I thought a fresh start could be good. So don’t worry about me. We’re tough. You picked yourself up and dusted yourself off. I’m still dusting, but I’ll get there.”

Genie snorts as I snuggle in beside her and she flops her big brick head toward me, wiggling onto her back.

“Let me know if I can help somehow. I know I wasn’t your boss, but if I can be a reference for you or something, I’m happy to. We worked together, so that has to count for something.”

“Thanks. I might take you up on that. Lord knows Harrington won’t give me a reference. I spent years keeping that place afloat, dealing with the perverts in that kitchen, but I stand up for one injustice and I get blacklisted.”

No matter what Hannah says about this not being my fault, I still hold all the blame. She’s so talented, but she’s being held back because of a situation I handled poorly. If I had done something different, maybe she could have moved from one job to another without issue. She could have cashed in on the references she spent years building by proving herself as a capable chef.

“I just wish there was something more I could do. Maybe I can talk to Harrington about giving you a reference. Or Norene.” The thought of going to speak to the manager or head chef at Harvest isn’t a pleasant one, but if that’s what I have to do, so be it.

“Don’t sweat it, Angel. I’ll be fine. I’ve made it through harder times than this.”

That doesn’t ease my guilt at all. She’s dealt with enough adversity in the past few years; she didn’t need this. I’m not sure what to say.

“So, you talked to Damian and sorted things out. Have you spoken to Dina?”

Everyone else is making this sound like it’s such an easy conversation to have. It’s not. Patching things up with Damian was a lot easier. I haven’t known him long, and that issue only festered for two days before we sorted it out. But talking to Dina, it’s busting open a severe emotional wound that has just started to scab over. I know it needs to be done, though. “Not yet, but I will. I was going to talk to her today, but I’m swamped with a project I need to get done, so I decided to wait until I can give her the attention she deserves.”

“Say no more. I forgot you’re a working woman with a flourishing career in front of her. I’ll let you go so you can kick butt and take over the world.” Hannah mutters something to Akili before continuing, “I have to take her royal highness for a walk, anyway. You know, my busy schedule and all.”

I know she’s joking, so I try not to let that pile on more guilt. “Put my number down on any new applications, okay? I’ll sing your praises so loud, everyone will want to hire you.”

“Thanks, Ang. And for what it’s worth, I’m proud of you for planning to talk to Dina. You’ll feel better. Promise.”

“Maybe. Thank you for calling me out.”

“I wasn’t trying to call you out, but I can always count on you to show me tough love, so I wanted to do the same for you.” I hear Hannah clicking on Aliki’s leash in the background and the familiar sound of excited tippety-taps on the tile floor from dancing dog paws. “Go kick butt now and call me when you’re not being occupied by your boss.” Her giggle makes me laugh in response.

“He’s not technically my boss.” I give Genie one last pat on her belly before I hoist myself up off the bed. “I better get back to work, though. Hopefully your dream job is around the corner.”

We say our goodbyes as Hannah rushes out the door with Akili and I return to my office to face off against image editing software.

Three hours later, my creativity is flowing like dried cement. I’ve stared at the same image for far too long, so I decide to take a dinner break, then I’ll walk Genie. Maybe by the time I’m done, I’ll have renewed inspiration.

I whip up a box of mac and cheese, not wanting anything elaborate today. Damian has become a regular feature in my evenings, so not having heard from him since this morning, it feels weird cooking for one person. I’m uninspired. It’s just sustenance to stay alive, rather than a carefully curated meal to enjoy along with comfortable conversation after a long day of work.

Mac and cheese gets the job done, though. I eat as much as I can before the salt content leaves me feeling fuller than I probably am. Genie has slurped up her meal and is busy lapping up water, so I take the opportunity to grab a glass myself. She doesn’t waste time indicating she’s ready to go for her post-dinner walk.

The late summer weather has made way for early fall temperatures, so I grab a thin jacket, leash Genie, and we’re on our way. Her excited snorts as we wait for the elevator are more exaggerated than normal. When a girl’s gotta go…

But the elevator doors open, and I discover it was not voiding her bladder that she was excited about. Standing in the mirrored elevator, looking down at his phone as he leans against the handrail, is the one man who has made me feel like committing to someone might not end in heartbreak. The man who has made me believe he isn’t afraid of the truth, no matter how hard it is.

He glances up from his phone after Genie lets out an exuberant yelp.

“Hey. What are you doing here?” I step into the elevator car behind Genie, who has already jumped up on Damian’s legs.

“Hi, girl.” He leans down to rustle her head, then stands to meet my eyes. “I missed you all day.” He hooks his arm around my waist and pulls me in for a searing kiss. “And I have to ask you something.”

The elevator dings for the lobby and the doors open wide, revealing an empty space. We step out and walk to the door. Damian takes a few long strides to get there before me and opens the first door for Genie and me. I push open the second and we exit into the chilly evening air. During the entire sixty-second period, I’m trying my best to guess what Damian could need to ask.

“Okay, out with it.”

Damian falls into stride beside me, reaching down to grab my free hand as Genie roams the right side of the sidewalk. “Do you own a formal gown?”