Contents
Acknowledgments
Preface
How Bill Clinton Changed My Life
Chapter One
Don’t Stop Thinking About Tomorrow
Clinton and Me
They Say It’s Your Birthday
Justice Under the Dashboard Lights
Believe It or Not
Teacher’s Pet
My Grandpa, the Nazi
Clinton and Me, Part Two
Chapter Two
The Era of Big Government Is Over
Brother Dearest
Guru to You, Too
Keyed Up
B.M.O.C.
Olympics of the Damned
Jesse Goes to Hollywood
A Southern Man
Chapter Three
The Most Ethical Administration in American History
Just Say No
To Di For
God’s Punch Line
Impeach Reno
These Kids Today
The Life of Riley
White House Follies
Chapter Four
“I Did Not Have Sex with That Woman”
End of the Presidency
President O.J.
Thinking with Your Clinton
Dead Kennedys
Thank God for Racism
The Will of the People
What Do Women Want?
Silver Linings
Chapter Five
The Meaning of the Word Is
Dear Hil
Clinton for Dummies
Vice and Its Victims
If It’s Broke, Don’t Fix It
Talkin’ the Talk
The Yankees Are Coming!
Don’t Mess with My Toot-Toot
The Envelope, Please
Chapter Six
“A Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy”
What’d I Say?
Loco
Keeping Score
Dead Foreigners
President Clarence
Contempt!
Bad Boys, Bad Boys
Curse of the Kennedys
Discriminatory Practices
Who’s for Jesus?
Reverend Jesse Jackson, Where Are You?
Chapter Seven
One of Our Greatest Presidents
Bush League
Winning the Battle, Losing the War
Barney Fife’s Revenge
What About Bob?
Who’s Sorry Now?
Stop Making Census
School Choice
Somebody’s Gonna Get Hurt
When Bad Things Happen to Good People
Mothers
Rudy, Rudy, Rudy
The Million-Dollar Question
My Life as a Fashion Plate
It Is . . .
Afterword
An Open Letter to America on Election Day 2024