Change Almost
Anything in
21 Days
Many years ago, while I was struggling to end my active addiction to alcohol, a very wise man told me that we can change almost anything we want to change in our lives. He said we can change our name, our location, our careers, our relationships, just about everything, for one day. He said that most things could be changed back if we didn’t like the change. I thought, That’s easy for him to say, but my struggle continued. How, I wondered, would change happen for me?
When I was a child, my father instilled deeply in me the message that “Ruth can do anything.” Over and over he repeated the story about how I had taught myself to ski. He told and retold it to anyone who would listen about how every time I fell down, I would pick myself up and start over. He said that was how I could do anything I wanted to do: Stay with the task I wanted to accomplish, and if I fell, simply pick myself up and start over again. Because of hearing this message over and over for so many years, I thought I really could do just about anything. But, that was until the compulsion to drink became stronger than I could handle and I couldn’t stop, no matter how I tried.
Finally, with the help of many other recovering alcoholics, I was introduced to the concept of a Power greater than myself. The idea was extraordinarily difficult for me to grasp at first, because I was such an extremely independent and arrogant person and believed that God was simply a crutch used by very weak people. Believe in God if you want to, I thought, but not me! That’s not what I need! However, nothing else was working. I simply could not stop drinking. Finally, after much pain and despair, I turned to this Power and humbly asked for help. The miracle happened. I soon lost my desire to drink.
I came to believe in a Power in the universe that I could not see or touch. I knew for certain It was there. I saw It at work in the miracle of the changing seasons, the birth of my children, a seed becoming a flower. I saw the results in the changes in other people’s lives. Today I call that Power God.
Hungry to learn more, I went on to study about the power of prayer and meditation, intentions and the power of words. I learned about the wonderful concept of the power of affirmations and the power of 21 days. Marvelous things began to happen. I became more confident. I overcame my fear of public speaking. I was able to help in the opening of an alcoholism treatment program for women when all odds were against us. My life began to change as I developed my ability to use these powerful techniques.
I also learned that it is not possible to change everything. There are some things, like winning the Olympics at the age of sixty-two or becoming an opera singer if you are tone deaf, that are out of the realm of our ability to alter, no matter what we do, and, with time and experience, we learn to accept our limitations. However, as we grow in our practice and become more open to allowing these powers to work in our lives, we discover that even if we wish for one result, it might not be in our best interests to have it, because something better might be waiting for us. We learn to trust the process of growth and change.
Eventually, I taught and wrote about these subjects, because they work! My intention in writing this particular book is to take everything I know about affirmations, everything that I have learned from teachers, clients, workshop and retreat participants, friends and my own experience, and put it all in one place. This book is meant to be a vehicle for transformation. Anyone can pick it up and find the subject they wish to change and learn how to make it happen. After many years of teaching affirmations and utilizing them in my own life, I have found that one of the greatest barriers to successful outcomes is that people have difficulty correctly wording affirmations to achieve the results they want.
What is unique in Change Almost Anything in 21 Days is that there are more than 500 affirmations alphabetized according to topic. You can find a positive, powerful affirmation for almost any subject you want or need to change. For example, if you’re nervous about a job interview or an upcoming exam, simply look up fear or confidence in the index. Do you want to lose weight? Check out food or addiction. If the affirmation you find doesn’t feel quite perfect, rewrite it in your own words, remembering to use the five rules for successful affirmations discussed later in this book.
Experiment with affirmations. Experience their magnetism as they connect you with the power and energy of the universe. Know there is a power for good and love in the universe and watch how it can bring miraculous changes into your life!
Intentions
Intentions set into process
every aspect of your life.
Gary Zukav
Change begins with the intention to change. In the Seat of the Soul, Gary Zukav gives us the following example of intending to change your job. “As the intention to leave your present job emerges into your consciousness, you begin to open yourself up to the possibility of working somewhere else or doing something else. You begin to feel less and less at home with what you are doing. Your higher self has begun the search for your next job.”
I remember a time when I was looking for a new convertible. While I was in college, I had a very old convertible. As my finances improved over the years, I was able to purchase newer cars and finally could afford a new car. This was around the time that the Mustang and the Firebird convertibles first came out. I had not been aware of them until someone told me they were great cars. As I drove around town I began seeing them everywhere. My children were very young and when we went on errands they would yell out, “There’s a Firebird!” and “There’s a Mustang!” I had created an intention, and my awareness grew. It was as if the universe was providing me with plenty of opportunities to make a decision.
Volition is the mental urge
or signal which precedes an action.
Joseph Goldstein
So we begin with an intention. Something we want to add, reduce, change or let go. We intend to make it happen.
June is a true miracle, a poster woman for affirmations. When she was diagnosed with metastasized breast cancer, it sent her and her family reeling. Fortunately, June had a strong intention to live.
She wrote, “That I’m still here physically almost a year later is a testament to modern medical science. That I’m facing each day with hope, acceptance, inner independence and an eagerness to learn from this amazing experience is in part due to my renewed association with your affirmation meditation group. I needed something very basic when I joined the group five months after diagnosis.
“Though tolerating chemotherapy extremely well, the reality of my situation could be daunting at times. I needed something to help shift my focus from treating the disease that afflicts my body to treating the whole me. I needed to remember that I am not alone on this journey. This was my intention, and affirmations clarify intentions. We came up with what turned out to be a very powerful affirmation for me, which helped me accept my life as it is today with growing peace and a great deal of joy:
“‘Healing’ energy is flowing through every cell in my body with every breath I take.”
When June completed writing her affirmation for 21 days, she found another powerful affirmation that was extremely helpful for her:
“I am letting go of doubt, fear, anger and distrust and quietly accept the Unknown.”
Why not take some time now to think about what you would like to change in your life. You can write your thoughts down, and then, with the succeeding steps in this book, you will learn how you can make the change.
Is there something you would like to add, such as more meaning in your job, a new relationship or a deeper spiritual connection?
Is there something you would like to reduce, such as weight, negative thinking or fear?
Is there something you would like to change, such as where you live, your job or your attitude?
Is there something you would like to let go of, such as resentment, anger or pride?
Thoughts of your mind have made you
what you are and thoughts of your mind
will make you what you become
from this day forward.
Catherine Ponder
Before going any further into affirmations, it’s important to take some time to become familiar with the term “self-talk.” I use this term to describe the conversations we have in our minds, the words we say to ourselves. We constantly tell ourselves all kinds of things which we then internalize as truth. For example, a person with an eating problem might be 5’ 4” tall and weigh 105 pounds and still tell herself she is too fat. A very competent person might not go for a job interview after convincing him or herself that he or she could not be hired.
It is crucially important to become aware of your self-talk if you hope to change it. Practice listening to the way you speak to yourself. Observe the effect that it has on your personal belief system.
Meditation is a wonderful technique for helping you to slow down and listen to your own thoughts. The practice of mindfulness, a form of meditation, not only helps you to increase your awareness of how you talk to yourself, but also helps you to stay in the present moment. I’ve written more about this in my other books.
Mindfulness is simply a quieting down of our mind, a settling down of our thoughts. Sitting quietly for only twenty minutes every morning, you begin to see how your mind works. By concentrating on your breathing, you’ll see how your mind goes off in many other directions. Bring your attention back to your breathing. Every time your mind strays away, just notice it without any judgment and bring your attention back to your breathing.
This practice helps you become aware of your self-talk. People who are just beginning this practice are often amazed at the language they use on themselves. They might discover themselves using abusive language such as, “Stupid! I should be able to stay with my breath.” Many people have been talking to themselves like this for their entire lives, but have not been aware of it. They don’t know that they are holding themselves back or keeping themselves in a state of low self-esteem.
Once we recognize and understand the power our thoughts have over our actions and feelings, we can learn to detach emotionally from them and observe them, sorting out the negative and destructive ones from the positive and constructive ones; realizing we do not have to believe them. These thoughts lose their power over us as soon as we become aware of them, because we can then choose to create more positive and constructive self-talk to inspire, encourage, affirm, accept, respect and love ourselves.
Remember:
• We are what we think about!
• What we think about expands.
• We feel what we think about.
• We create what we think about in our lives.
• When awareness increases, we draw to us what we think about.
• We attract what we think about.
The Power of Words
The word is not just a sound or a written symbol.
The word is a force, it is the power
you have to express and communicate,
to think, and thereby to create the events of your life.
Don Miguel Ruiz
Words are powerful! They have the power to move us. They can lift our spirits, inspire us, change our mood, give us courage, make us cry and do much more. They can move our life forward. As we become aware of our self-talk, the words that we say to ourselves, we can be mindful of the effect words have in our life. We will see how our mood can be changed by how we speak to ourselves, thus creating changes in the quality of our lives.
Our bodies do not know the difference between something real or something imagined. Our bodies respond to what we think about as if it were real. For example, think for a minute about something that makes you smile, or feel gentle or happy, such as a puppy, an ice cream cone or a sunset. Notice how these images make you feel. Now think about a time when you were fearful, and notice how those thoughts make you feel. Nothing will be changed in reality, but you will suddenly feel different. Words can block us from success or bring us success.
Change the thought, change the feeling, change the action.
Fear, for example, is only a thought
triggering a physical sensation.
Your word can create the most beautiful dream,
or your word can destroy everything around you.
Don Miquel Ruiz
Negative Word Blockers
That Keep Us from
Moving Forward
When I say, “I can’t,” then I can’t. I’ll feel inadequate.
When I say, “I’ll never be able to________,” then I never will be able to_______. I’ll feel incapable.
When I say, “I haven’t enough time,” then I’m all about not having enough time. I’ll feel rushed and full of anxiety.
Positive Word Releasers
When I say, “I AM TERRIFIC JUST THE WAY I AM!” I feel energized, enthused, upbeat.
When I say, “I AM FEELING PEACE IN THIS VERY MOMENT,” I feel serene and peaceful.
When I say, “I HAVE ALL THE INTELLIGENCE I NEED TO PASS THIS TEST,” I feel confident and strong.