Spiritual Journaling

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves.”

“In its silence it speaks … wholeness … and integrity that comes from being what you are.”

—DOUGLAS WOOD, AUSTRALIAN ENGINEER, ENTREPRENEUR

Writing is a primary way to be open to your truest self. When you write you merge with so much more than you may appreciate at the time. Notice how you feel inside your body after you are done writing a poem, a letter to a loved one, a prose piece, or an idea in your journal. The soul loves to write, to see itself on paper, in a dance of words and images.

Writing allows you time to give attention to your soul, and for your soul to speak to you. Buddhists call the soul our original or true nature; Quakers call it the inner teacher or the inner light; some traditions refer to it as the soul; Hindus refer to it as the Brahman. As a therapist I often refer to it as your true self, or your essential nature. Writing in your journal will bring forth this inner light and increase your inner independence and self-esteem. Your entire world may say no or drive your truth into hiding, but in your journal your truth emerges and therefore cannot be quieted.

Of course you may wonder, “What is my true nature?” “How can I bring forth my inner light when I am not writing in my journal?”

“Who is the real me?” Practicing the following meditation will help you with those questions. Give yourself at least ten minutes to do this meditation and write in your journal.

Sit in a chair with your feet on the floor, comfortable, yet alert. Close your eyes. Rest for a few minutes in your breathing. Then ask yourself the question “What is my true nature?” Drop this question into the middle of your consciousness like a pebble dropping into the center of a still pond, and let the question gently ripple out … throughout your being… .

For another moment, relax in your breathing … letting the ripples move out. Sit in the stillness of this question… .

Then return your attention to your feet on the floor. Either open your eyes and begin to journal or take this time now to do a ten-minute Mind-fulness (breath) Meditation (see pages 230–31).

“What seed was planted when you or I arrived on earth with our identities intact?” Parker Palmer, author and educator, asks this question of his readers in A Hidden Wholeness. He invites us to remember and reclaim our “birthright gifts and potentials.”

“What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality.”

—OTTO RANK, GERMAN PSYCHOLOGIST, THEOLOGIAN

If you look for the truth outside yourself, it gets farther and farther away. Today, walking alone, I meet him everywhere I step. He is the same as me, yet I am not him. Only if you understand it in this way will you merge with the way things are.

—TUNG-SHAN, 1ST-CENTURY CHINESE POET, PHILOSOPHER

From my training in psychology I know that we are either developing our true nature—a true self—or we are developing a false self. The false self is often set up only to please others, to not question, to do what is comfortable (but not necessarily safe), to go with the crowd. The true self, by contrast, has compassion for others but does not set out to make everyone happy; is safe but often uncomfortable because it is dynamic and changing; is unique and does not typically just go with the crowd. This development of our true or false self can begin at a young age—so why not choose to develop your true self now? As a psychotherapist for twenty-five years, I worked with many people who fought off their true nature until one day—WHAM!—it seemed to hit them over the head. “Here I am!” it shouted. Why wait? Why not begin to build a life on what is true for you now?

Every writing exercise in this book has the potential to help you develop your true nature. Every moment you bring your self honestly to the journal and write, you are developing your true self. As I have written elsewhere, the greatest gift you can bring to the world is your self—your true self.

In the West, we tend to think of the creative force as a masculine characteristic, while the feminine is seen as receptive and quiet. But in the Hindu tradition, these associations are reversed. The goddess Shakti (literally translated as “power”) is the creative force. So creative is she in yogic myth that she created the world. Her partner, the god Shiva, is her quiet supporter.

Each of us is made up of both the shakti and shiva energies. They are complementary, and when both are in balance our lives are more creative and joyful. Practice the following meditation to awaken the shakti, and to balance the two vital energies. Begin by taking a few minutes to ground (see pages 231–32).

Sit in a meditative posture on the floor or in a chair with your feet on the floor. For about ten breaths, begin to rest your awareness on the physical sensation of breathing. After these ten breaths, bring your awareness down to the bottom of your spine. Imagine there a small fire smoldering there. In your imagination, use your inhalations to fan the fire, and watch it slowly rise up your spine, up to the top of your head. Once it has reached the top or crown of your head, move the heat of the fire back downward, along the front of your head and torso, meeting back up with its source at the spine’s root. Sit and breathe for a few minutes, noticing the shakti energy waking you up.

Notice what you are feeling and, when you are ready, journal about these sensations and this experience.

“Throughout my whole life, during every minute of it, the world has been gradually lightening up and blazing before my eyes until it has come to surround me, entirely lit up from within.”

—PIERRE TEILHARD DE CHARDIN, FRENCH AUTHOR, JESUIT PRIEST, PALEONTOLOGIST, POET, WRITER

“Knowing the name of things can help you to see them.”

—JOHN DUFRESNE, AMERICAN AUTHOR

Have you already changed your name, or added to it somehow? Do you have a “nickname” you feel represents more closely who you are? Renaming yourself is one way to express your increased inner independence. In many cultures, one would traditionally receive his or her spiritual name when initiated into adulthood, which would be during adolescence. Lacking such a tradition in our culture, some of us simply choose a name that feels more like who we are. Your true name may come from your own soul through a dream or vision, or a sense of “knowing” that this is a truer name for you. Or it may be bestowed on you by a spiritual elder, someone who has a solid reputation for being a reliable and knowledgeable spiritual guide.

For the next couple of weeks, watch your dreams. Ask for your dreams to show you your true name. Pay attention to synchronicities. These too may be pointing to a true name.

I thought about a name and for some reason “Flowering Rabbit Hopper” came to mind. I am a rabbit in the Chinese Zodiac so rabbits have always had a place in my heart. I also feel like I’m hopping through my life in the world, trying to discover—sort of like a rabbit. Right now my life is flowering, blooming with the new experiences that I am encountering and will soon be encountering on the many trips I am taking this summer. I’m going to be heading to college in the fall—a new life opening.

The beautiful thing about journals is that they are written for you—no one else. I also write my books this way. I don’t sit down and think, “I have to please my readers.” Instead I sit and write what wants to write through me. I may have the reader in mind, but I write for myself first—especially in my journals.

I suggest you also write for yourself first. If you plan on getting published, your rewrites can be done with the reader in mind. But when you begin writing, you have to clear your mind the best you can of all its clutter so the creativity has room to move through you. This is one reason I begin my day with a meditation practice. Stilling my busy, planning, crazy mind allows a space for the creative juices to flow.

“We move forward and become that which we think about. Isn’t it time we began to think about what we’re thinking about?”

—DON COYHIS, MOHICAN COMMUNITY BUILDER AND WISDOMKEEPER

What is it you typically have your attention on? Whatever you give your attention to is what is going to grow and become real in your life. Really being aware of where your attention is gives you the ability to create your life. The ability to guide your thinking, your attention, will be a skill that will empower your creative side and set you free. Your mind is not always an ally in this. It is more like a wild monkey that you need to tame. Too often the mind is full of unnecessary or negative thoughts.

You can, when you choose, learn how to direct your thoughts—and as a result, create a life. Meditation is a simple practice of quieting the mind by focusing your attention on your breath. Many events in life will attempt to throw you off center. With meditation and journaling practice you can learn to stay centered and focused (present) even during the more difficult times. Learning to “return to the breath” will help you place your attention where you really want it. Writing itself is a form of meditation—while I am writing I am focused on the subject that matters to me. My attention is on my writing, and nothing gets between me and the paper.

Try this: Focus your attention for a couple of moments entirely on a spot on your body (it can be on your skin or on your clothes). Breathe naturally while focusing your attention on that one place on your body. Now shift your focus from that spot and find a place on the wall to bring your full attention to. Now for a few moments, breathing naturally, keep your full attention on that spot on the wall… . Again, return your focus to a spot on your body; for a few moments place your full attention on that spot on your clothing or body. Breathe naturally. Now once again, take your attention outward and place your full attention on some spot on the wall. Breathe and focus.

“This is the first, wildest, and wisest thing I know, that the soul exists, and that it is built entirely out of attentiveness.”

—MARY OLIVER, AMERICAN POET

This practice shows us how we can direct our attention where we choose—when we choose.

—A traditional folktale, oral tradition, source unknown. Retold by Julie Tallard Johnson

There was once a young woman, about the age of twenty-one, who thought that “this spiritual stuff” was nonsense and a waste of time. She believed that those who claim to have wisdom are fooling everyone.

Not too far away, a wise woman lived in a hut at the top of a very high mountain. She was known to be a sage and could answer the most difficult questions about life. People from far and wide would travel to seek her counsel. She was considered a truthteller.

But the young woman doubted the sage’s ability. She bragged to her friends that she could trick the old sage and confuse her. This would show everyone that the old woman was a fake! The young woman held in her hand a little chickadee and told her friends, “I’ll climb the mountain and find this wise woman, and when I do I will hold this little chickadee behind my back. I’ll ask her if the bird is alive or dead. If she says dead, I will bring the bird out and show her that the bird is alive. If she says alive I will crush it quietly with my hands behind my back and bring it out and show her that it is dead.”

With that intention she climbed to the top of the mountain and searched for the wise woman. When she found the hut, she called out, “Old woman! Old woman!”

A quiet voice answered from behind the closed door, “What is it you want my daughter?”

The young woman smiled at her own cleverness and said, “Behind my back, I have a little bird in my hands. I want to know if the bird is alive or dead.”

After a few moments of deep silence, the old sage replied in a weary voice, “It is as you wish, my daughter.”

”The ancient teachings demand from us that we focus our attention most of all on the holy web of life we are part of and that obviously enmeshes us. This attention to the whole is what my people call holiness.“

—BROOKE MEDICINE EAGLE, CROW WISDOMKEEPER, AUTHOR

“Spiritual Thirst is the thirst of the self to feel that it is part of something large …”

—FROM ALCOHOL AND POETRY BY LEWIS HYDE, AMERICAN POET, PROFESSOR OF CREATIVE WRITING

Off the Page

Do the Grounding Meditation described on pages 231–32. When you feel grounded ask yourself, What does my body want?

What does my soul need?

Journal your answers.

This particular meditation is good for relaxation, to help you prepare for sleep, or to unwind the mind when it is anxious. An object to focus on visually can help you to relax your attention on one thing and let go of worries and stress. Anxiety, stress, and worries will cover over your true nature like a cloud blocks the sun. It’s not wrong to feel anxious, but if you remain masked in anxiety for too long the light of your essential self will be hidden. Water is a particularly good image for “washing away” stress and anxiety. So use this meditation, with the illustration on the opposite page, to wash away your worries like releasing the rain out of the cloud. This lets your true nature shine through. Give yourself five minutes to practice this meditation and then at least five more minutes to journal.

“Your own mind is a sacred enclosure into which nothing harmful can enter except by your permission.”

—ARNOLD BENNETT, ENGLISH JOURNALIST, NOVELIST

Use the wave mandala to focus your attention. Rest your eyes on the image of the mandala… . Breathe in… . Breathe out… . Hold a gentle gaze on the wave mandala as you continue to breathe deeply. Feel the wave come in and wash its calmness over you; and then feel it wash out into the great ocean with all your stresses and difficulties. Breathe in calmness and breathe out stress … riding the wave. Breathe in… . Breathe out… . Breathe in calmness, breathe out stress.

Tonight, before you go to sleep, take a moment and rest your eyes gently on the wave mandala and imagine the waves coming in and calming you, and the waves going out, washing away your worries and stresses. Let your breath just breathe through you, calming you as you breathe in and breathe out. Know that the great ocean can easily absorb all and any negativity. Sleep well and deeply.

“The quieter you become, the more you can hear.”

—FROM EASTERN THOUGHT FOR WESTERN MAN BY RAM DASS, MEDITATION TEACHER

Off the Page

Say these words to yourself as you sit watching your breath:

“Breathing in, I know I am breathing in.

Breathing out, I know I am

breathing out.”

—THICH NHAT HANH, VIETNAMESE BUDDHIST MONK, AUTHOR

Looking at the photo below, rest your eyes softly on the center of the water while you breathe. Hold a soft, lazy focus on the image and open up to the natural feeling it offers you. Allow the water streaming into the pool to calm you. No thoughts—just gentle attention on the image.

Water reminds you of how you can be fluid and flexible with your life. Let yourself open up fully to the moment by being like water, allowing the moment to shape you. Be like water in a stressful situation—give yourself permission to relax into it, rather than trying to shape it, or force something. This is a good laziness, in which you let go, relax, and open yourself up. Bring this image of the Zen garden to mind when you are feeling overwhelmed this week.

“Nothing you will do will make a difference if you can’t face the solitude.”

—TOM ROBBINS, AMERICAN NOVELIST AND STORYTELLER

Imagine yourself sitting in the Zen garden; hear the water drip and feel the soft, warm breeze move the small hairs on your arm. Feel its gentleness envelop you…

“That is my essential reason for writing, not for fame, not to be celebrated after death, but to heighten and create life all around me. I also write because when I am writing I reach the high moment of fusion sought by the mystics, the poets, the lovers, a sense of communion with the universe.”

—FROM THE DIARY OF ANAÏS NIN 1939–1944 BY ANAÏS NIN, FRENCH AUTHOR AND DIARIST

Through journaling you can discover a lot about yourself. It is sad, but many people go through their teen years and beyond clueless as to who they are and what they want. You may know an adult who makes comments such as, “I really don’t know how I got here,” referring to their job or their general situation in life. The more you know about yourself, the more your life will become your own, and the less likely it is that you will be heard saying, “I don’t know how I got here.”

“Let your nature be known and proclaimed.”

—HURON PROVERB

In my day-to-day life, with its sometimes extreme ups and downs, I can forget myself. I may lose my voice and my way when external events get crazy. My journals have been my “voice,” reminding me who I am and what I want to become. I return to my journals to find myself, my intentions, my spiritual voice. They don’t let me forget my dreams (of writing books, traveling); they don’t let me forget my spiritual intentions (to live compassionately and creatively); they don’t let me forget who I am. With this reminder, I am never lost for long.

Finish the following simple lines. There are no rules—just write. Be silly, be honest, and write whatever you want.

In Tibetan Buddhism and other traditions you call on the image and energies of your deity, saint, or spiritual master to bring forth your true nature. You resonate with the beautiful and balanced energy of your spiritual source to bring forth what is inherent in you. I love the idea of having the same “vibration” as Padmasambhava, the guru of compassion. Guru meditation, also called guru yoga, gives you a very real synergy with an outer teacher to link you up with the truth inside you, your inner teacher. There are entire books on guru yoga because it is a sure way to feel the beauty and spiritual energies inside you. In this practice you allow the energies of your spiritual source into you, lighting up your truth and filling up your heart with Jesus, or the Buddha, or Mother Nature—whatever spiritual teacher really speaks to you. You can follow this up with a five- to ten-minute silent meditation.

Sit quietly. Invoke from the depths of your heart the embodiment of truth in the person of your spiritual master, saint, or enlightened being. Trust that this presence is with you.

Open your heart and allow it to fill with your teacher’s presence. Call upon him or her with these words: “Guide me, inspire me, calm my mind, and help me realize my true nature.” Give yourself completely to your spiritual teacher. Imagine yourself opening your heart and mind to this teacher.

Allow all the energy from your spiritual teacher to radiate into your being, filling you up. Imagine rays of light coming from the heart of your teacher into you. These rays of light fill you up. This is considered the “empowerment”—the deity is empowering you with his or her energy. In vibrational medicine this means that you will be vibrating at the same level as your spiritual source. Know that taking time to be with your spiritual source will help bring forth your truest and best self.

Become one with this deity, merging yourself completely with him or her. Sit in meditation completely infused with your great teacher.

“The first peace, which is the most important, is that which comes within the souls of the people when they realize their relationship, their oneness with the universe and all its powers, and when they realize that at the center of the universe dwells the Great Spirit, and that this center is really everywhere, it is within each of us.”

—BLACK ELK, OGLALA SIOUX HOLY MAN

“In a circle the center is always present, and it attracts your eye, whether it is marked or not. The capacity of the circle to catch and focus your attention means that you take less notice of what is outside the circle.”

—FROM COLORING MANDALAS BY SUSANNE F. FINCHER, JUNGIAN PSYCHOLOGIST, ART THERAPIST

Off the Page

Learn some Lakota songs or other Native American chants that are used in healing ceremonies or to call on the energies of the ancestors. Learn one song in its native language. Singing in the language of the indigenous people in the place where they lived is said to call up potent energies. It is also the language the Earth understands. For example, when you sing Native American chants in America, the Earth and the ancestors will hear you; chants sung in Tibet in the Tibetan native language will be heard by the land and ancestors there. What is the local Native language of the place where you live or a place you plan to visit?

In Sanskrit, the ancient language of India, the word mandala means “sacred circle.” In the Tibetan language the word for mandala, Kyilkor, means “center and circumference.” Circles represent something sacred in many spiritual traditions—the shape of a gathering for ceremony, the shape of father sun and mother moon. In Egyptian myth a circle is used to create the world. In Native American tradition everything sacred takes place in a circle.

The influential psychoanalyst Carl Jung introduced Western civilization to the value of mandalas for psychological and spiritual healing. He knew that we all want to fulfill our own unique design in life—to live our true nature, and to experience our wholeness. Mandalas express and symbolize our true nature and its wholeness.

”Mandalas arise from the compelling human need to know our own inner reality, to align this knowing with our body’s wisdom, and to awaken in ourselves a sense of being in harmony with the Universe.”

—SUSANNE F. FINCHER, JUNGIAN PSYCHOLOGIST, ART THERAPIST, AND AUTHOR OF COLORING MANDALAS

In the next four exercises you will create your own mandala. To begin you will need white card stock (poster size is ideal) and markers or crayons. To draw the mandala, place a large round plate in the middle of the paper and trace its outline to make a circle. Now divide the mandala into even quarters by drawing a vertical line and a horizontal line through the center.

Each of the following exercises focuses on one quarter of the mandala. Give yourself an entire week to complete the mandala. The actual time you spend on it will range from two to four hours, depending on the travel time needed for the third exercise. This is a great activity to do in a group.

“For in one soul are contained the hopes and feelings of all mankind.”

—KAHLIL GIBRAN, LEBANESE-AMERICAN POET, PHILOSOPHER, MYSTIC

Begin by doing this Lotus Meditation. This meditation is borrowed from the yogic tradition. It helps slow the mind, calm your entire being, promote a sense of serenity, and bring you into the present moment. It will open you up to the truth about you.

Find a quiet place where you can meditate for at least five minutes. Sit in a meditative posture with your eyes closed. Let your breath be relaxed; let it breathe by itself… . Bring your awareness down to your belly. Imagine that your lower body is a rich, dark soil. Breathe and imagine … then picture a beautiful white lotus flower growing out of this rich soil, growing up through your upper body, and coming to bloom in your heart. Breathe and feel the beauty and the energy of this most sacred flower.

“Even in the worm that crawls in the earth there glows a divine spark.”

—ISAAC SINGER, AMERICAN INVENTOR

Feel your readiness to bring forth what is within you. Feel the truth of who you are. After you have sat with this truth for a few minutes, you can consult the lotus for guidance. Breathe into the lotus and look into its center. Look into the blossom of the lotus.

Ask this question of the lotus: What does my soul want me to manifest now, today? Breathe and allow, trust what comes. What’s next? What’s now? What wants my attention? Breathe.

For this exercise you will need a few favorite magazines. You will also need glue and scissors (or you may choose to tear instead of cut).

Go through the magazines and randomly cut or tear out pages. Try not to deliberately pick pages, just cut or tear until you have at least thirty-five loose pages.

Now do this meditation: Sit with the magazine pages spread before you, and close your eyes. Find your breath and relax in your breath for at least five minutes saying to yourself: I am here now (on the in breath); I am here now (on the out breath). Then open your eyes and as quickly as possible, without thinking, cut or tear out words that draw your attention. It is important that you quickly cut or tear out the words that draw your attention without thinking about them. You should not be reading or resting attention on any of the pages. Give yourself five minutes for cutting and tearing.

Now spend at least ten minutes pasting the words on another quarter of your mandala. Try not to think too much about arranging them, just pick up a word and paste it in the first place your hands move to.

Give yourself about fifteen to twenty minutes in nature. While there, notice what smells, sounds, and sights draw your attention. After about ten minutes of noticing what gets your attention, begin to collect some natural objects—anything that represents natural beauty to you. Take the time to choose what attracts you, what calls your attention. These objects might include leaves, bark, seeds, flower petals, stems, a feather, twigs, or hair. Give yourself at least fifteen minutes to collect these beauty objects and then another fifteen to fill up another quarter of your mandala with them.

Fill in the last quarter of the mandala with a poem of yours. Refer to chapter 2 for more on writing poetry.

Now write the date on the back of your mandala. Step back and look at it. Notice how beautiful and complete it is. How does it feel to have created a personal mandala?

“The streams running through my woods carry the dreams of the animals that drink here. Their dreams make the water taste sweet.”

—FROM BEAUTY AND THE BEAST RETOLD BY NANCY WILLARD

“We may misunderstand, but we do not misexperience.”

—VINE DELORIA JR., STANDING ROCK SIOUX

Off the Page

For more on mandalas check out Susanne F. Fincher’s Creating Mandalas for Insight, Healing and Self-Expression and Coloring Mandalas, a coloring book of forty-eight sacred circle designs for people of all ages. One of the mandalas is blank (and easy to copy onto card stock). Creating Man-dalas has a great introduction to help you get more insight into the value of personalizing mandalas.