“In my pursuit of boyfriends I keep jumping after what I think is the real thing, and end up all wet and alone like the boy in the Cheyenne story… . Honestly, I am not really sure how to know what is real and what is not.”
—HANNAH, AGE 17
Introduction
Morning has broken
Like the first morning,
Blackbird has spoken
Like the first bird.
Praise for the singing!
Praise for the morning!
Praise for them, springing
From the first Word.
—ELEANOR FARJEON, CHILDREN’S AUTHOR
The following story is found in many traditions. This particular version is borrowed from the Cheyenne tribe of North America.
“In my pursuit of boyfriends I keep jumping after what I think is the real thing, and end up all wet and alone like the boy in the Cheyenne story… . Honestly, I am not really sure how to know what is real and what is not.”
—HANNAH, AGE 17
There was a young man who was named Running Barefoot Boy because as soon as he could stand he began to run. He would run about the tribal grounds, and when he got old enough he would often run far out of sight.
Once he went running a bit too far. And soon was lost and hungry. He came upon a plum tree and, although it had been a poor season, three beautiful ripe plums hung from the tree. The branch where the plums hung was high, hanging over a deep creek. So, he took a fast run toward the tree and leapt up into the air with all his strength and grabbed at the plums. He felt the branch shake, but he quickly landed with a big splash in the creek below. As he stood up in the water, he saw the plums had fallen into the bottom of the deep moving creek. He jumped in after them but did not get them. He waited for the water to calm enough for him to see the plums and, again, in he jumped for the fruit.
Running Barefoot Boy spent three days trying to get to those juicy plums. He was hungry and determined.
Then an elder from the tribe found the boy and asked him what he was doing.
“I am going after those ripe plums that are sitting down at the bottom of the creek. I am not about to give up now, I’ve been at it too long.”
The elder smiled and looked up at the tree.
“Young man, you are jumping in after the reflection of the plums! The real plums are still hanging in the tree branch above your head.”
I wrote this book to help you, the reader, spend less time going after the illusion of what you are hungry for—and discover how to get the real thing. Fortunately, the real thing is with us all the time. It lies within us.
At the age of sixteen I began to keep a journal. I now have bookshelves full of journals. No matter what happened in my life, I had my journals to talk with, to return to, to write in, and to read. It is my journals that got me out of the creek and into the tree—where I now regularly taste the real thing.
We are important and our lives are important, magnificent really, and their details are worthy to be recorded.
—NATALIE GOLDBERG, POET, BUDDHIST TEACHER, AUTHOR OF WRITING DOWN THE BONES
“I write. The longer I live, the more convinced I’ve become that I cultivate my truest self in this one way.”
—TOM CHIARELLA, AMERICAN WRITER
The Internal Flame
Inside each of us is an eternal flame. This flame always burns in our soul. It is our creative flame. Our flame of purpose. Our flame of inner independence and strength. It is our connection to the creative pulse, the divine fire that is in all of life. To some it is the Tao, the unifying principle that connects and lives in all things. Buddhists refer to this inner light as our true nature. This inner fire is the essence of our divinity, our divine right. It is called by many names—Shakti, the kundalini force, the Goddess, Sri Yantra, and Bindu.
The most important thing to remember is that this internal flame is real. Real as these words on this page. Real as your heartbeat. Real as the vibration of music you hear from your favorite CD. Real as the plums in the tree. There is another story that helps illustrate this.
It is told that the indigenous peoples of the West Indies could not see Columbus and his three ships as they sat offshore. They could not see them because they had no frame of reference for such things—the ships weren’t like anything they had ever witnessed before. The shaman of the tribe, however, could see ripples in the water and wavelike streams in the air where the ships sat anchored. So, he knew something was there. The shaman, knowing this, would look out each morning and gaze on the ripples in the water and in the air. He opened his mind to the possibilities of the unknown. One day, he saw what others could not—three ships sitting in the water. He then helped his tribe’s people to “see” what until then they could not see. The ships were there; they were real.
Some people in your life may not believe you have this internal flame because they cannot see it. But you can see the ripples of your flame—in your ideas, your art, your written words, your prayers, and all your creations. You may not see the wind but it pushes the branches of the tree back and forth. Every creative thought, no matter how small, how seemingly unimportant, is proof of the fire inside of you. As you keep a journal, the words and images that appear on your pages will be your ripples. And when you bring your attention to these ripples, you will end up seeing what you could not see before—your own internal flame. The ideas in this book will help remove any stuff that is piled on top of your flame, and it will allow you to be able to see your flame, and that of others, burning vividly. From this place of “sight” your life will truly be your own—you will be able to set fire to your ideas and your dreams all along the way. Your ships will suddenly appear before you. You will stop jumping into the water after an illusion and go instead for the plums in the tree. You will taste the fruit of your own creativity. And your journal will be your companion and guide.
“Walk in the light of your own fire, and in the flame which ye have kindled.”
—ISAIAH 50:11
There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action and because there is only one of you in all time, its expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and be lost, the world will not have it.
—MARTHA GRAHAM, CHOREOGRAPHER, DANCE TEACHER
Shamans, spiritual teachers, gurus, avatars, yogis, Buddhas, prophets, monks, all give us ways to touch the flame inside so we can see who we truly are, and who we can become. Just as the shaman of the tribe taught himself and others to see something they never knew existed, each of us can do the same for ourselves. Just like Running Barefoot Boy, you too can be directed to the real “plums” of life.
It can be useful to have a skillful guide to help you find or rekindle your flame—but it is the shaman inside of you that will really allow you to see and feel it for yourself. Your journals will be for you, as they were for me, spiritual companions and guides on the journey through life. They will often contain the spark that is needed to set you on fire. They will bring forth your true nature.
It all begins with fire—
Suns stars moons Earths me you.
This, too, commenced in flame—
This page this ink these words.
Books blaze blind around us—
In this room this now this you.
All true writing starts this way—
With you right here on fire.
—D. W. ROZELLE, AMERICAN POET
“Look at yourself through your soul’s eyes. See the beauty of your being.”
—SANAYA ROMAN, AMERICAN AUTHOR, PSYCHIC
What You Will Find in This Book
Each chapter of this book offers a series of short, simple ideas for writing that are loosely related to the chapter topic. You can start reading at the beginning and go through the book in order, or you can begin with the end and jump right on to the middle. You decide.
In every chapter there are questions you can respond to in your journal, exercises and meditations to help you get in touch with your thoughts and feelings, and “Off the Page” activities to take your jour-naling experiences out into your world. You’ll see plenty of examples of journal writing by other young people and some of my own. In several chapters I’ve included longer contributions from guest writers who offer unique insights on a particular topic.
All of the topics and questions in the book are intended to spark your own ideas, so feel free to write whatever comes to you, even if it seems “off topic.” Read with me and then write what you wish. But wherever you begin, pull out your journal and write.
“Will you come with me, reader?
I thank you. Give me your hand.”
—FROM THE ADVENTURES OF ROBIN HOOD BY HOWARD PYLE, AMERICAN ILLUSTRATOR AND STORYTELLER
“Advice to young writers? Always the same advice: Learn to trust your own judgment, learn inner independence, learn to trust that time will sort the good from the bad—including your own bad.”
—DORIS LESSING, NOVELIST, SHORT STORY WRITER
The Beautiful Thing about Journaling
Being yourself is the greatest gift you can offer the world. And the time you spend with your journal will help you bring forth this gift.
The beautiful thing about journaling is that you get to work something out on the page, all to yourself, or between yourself and your spiritual source. You get to create your life on the page and see how it feels. You can work out a lot of thorny issues in your journals, which allows your life to flow more strongly and easily. If you aren’t journaling already, you will see what I mean when you begin to fill the pages up with your thoughts, feelings, and ideas. Journaling can be a great lamp on your path, lighting your way.
“The essential intent in journal writing is self-understanding. Your journal is a perfect guide: It listens without judgment and reflects who you are back to you when you read it. It is a trusted and versatile traveling companion that will be a true friend along your life’s path.”
—JOHN FOX, POET AND POETRY THERAPIST, AUTHOR OF FINDING WHAT YOU DIDN’T LOSE
Your journal can also give you a sense of stability and permanence if there has been constant upheaval in your life. If you have lived in foster homes or have been separated in other ways from a parent or from your family of origin, your journals can serve as both your life storybook and a “home base.”
Through your journal writing and time spent alone you will gain a deeper understanding of your self and hear the voice and call of your own soul. Your journal will:
“Writing is always a voyage of discovery.”
—NADINE GORDIMER, SOUTH AFRICAN NOVELIST, SHORT STORY WRITER
I have been in and out of NINE homes and I am only sixteen. When Julie recommended I keep a journal it hit me immediately as a way to record all this. To tell it like it really is. But it actually became a lot more than that—it is my sanctuary. Now, six months later, I have three entire notebooks full. Full of swear words, poetry, notes, drawings, my anger and even a bit of decent stuff. They will go with me wherever I go. It is really weird but it is important to me that I find a place to live where my journals will be safe.
—HANNAH, IN HER TENTH FOSTER HOME, WHERE SHE HAS FOUND A SAFE PLACE FOR HERSELF AND HER JOURNALS
Don’t be too surprised if your journal entries become part of a book some day. You will find my journal writings in every one of my books. Sandra Cisneros, the young author of The House on Mango Street, writes of her life in a simple but powerful journal of vignettes. Anne Frank, Aldo Leopold, Anaïs Nin, and Joseph LeConte are all people whose journals were published. Of course, even if your words are used only to link yourself to yourself, this is a great act. A most wonderful act, I believe; a necessary act.
I am writing young adult fiction now… . Those were intense times for me, and when I began writing a strong young adult voice emerged that I’ve just sort of gone with. I luckily managed to hold onto journals and letters from that time in my life, which are invaluable to me now.
—ADRIENNE CORSO, NOW FORTY-SOMETHING, WHO PUBLISHED A BOOK BASED ON HER TEEN JOURNALS, ENTITLED JUMP
“’What makes a desert beautiful,’ said the little prince, ‘is that somewhere there it hides a well.’”
—FROM THE LITTLE PRINCE BY ANTOINE DE SAINT-EXUPÉRY, FRENCH NOVELIST, PILOT
Your Living, Breathing Journal
Think of your journal as a living breathing being, someone who needs your love and attention. Don’t neglect her. She loves your pen or pencil running across her pages. She loves what comes to life when you write. She feels complete with your poems and drawings. She wants more contact with you and is selfish with your time. She loves what you bring to her. Even the silly or frivolous line fills her up. She needs more food than your pet fish, and more love letters than your sweetheart.
If you give her what she needs, she rewards you. She helps you sleep at night. She is your test ground for ideas. She consumes your anger (without getting back at you). She is never insulted.
If you stay away too long, she calls to you. And when she is full of you, she sits beautifully on a shelf (or hidden in some secret spot), feeling strong and admired. She knows you will revisit her, even if it takes months or years—she knows she holds something you will want to return to.
Can you feel her breathe? Can you hear her calling you? Go feed your journal.
“Writing itself is one of the great, free human activities. There is scope for individuality, and elation, and discovery.”
—FROM WRITING THE AUSTRALIAN CRAWL BY WILLIAM STAFFORD