YOU AND YOUR V IN THE 21ST C

RELATIVELY SPEAKING, THE VAGINA is not a large part of your anatomy, but having one has a huge influence on your health, your sex life, and your psyche, as well as how you are treated in the world.

The vagina is an amazing little organ. Its diminutive size belies its influence—no matter what anyone says, vaginas really can’t become “too loose.” It is actually pretty versatile. It allows menstrual blood to exit your body; it is the doorway for sexual intercourse, masturbation, and all forms of sexy play; and it serves as the exit ramp for a baby. That’s a lot of jobs for your vag, and your job is to keep it well fed with healthy foods and probiotics and to keep it lubed in general as well as when you are having sex.

Having a vagina brings with it benefits and responsibilities. Obviously, it is important to take charge of your health and give your vagina the care and attention it needs. Part of that care is understanding how your vagina is connected to the rest of your body and how protecting your vagina via safer sex and getting regular health screenings can protect you from contracting potentially damaging diseases like HIV/AIDS. A visit to the gyno can catch and treat other diseases, infections, and disorders, including those that are sexually transmitted as well as diseases like cervical cancer. So be sure to get to your gyno on the regular and work with another health professional if you need added guidance on nutrition or for your general and mental health. You should also seek out the care of specialists if you are dealing with a medical condition that could have an impact on your overall or reproductive health (like diabetes, thyroid issues, or an autoimmune disorder).

If tending to vaginal health has benefits for a woman’s health as a whole, then we think that the overall health of women can have a positive impact on society as a whole. Without available health care and access to accurate information, women can become unintentionally pregnant, be exposed to sexually transmitted diseases, and miss the opportunity to be screened or treated for everything from cervical cancer to hepatitis. Clinics and affordable health care can allow women to make choices about their bodies and their care that will keep them safe, whole, and healthy. It will allow them to continue contributing to their families, their friendships, their relationships, their employers and employees—doing their part as citizens of their town, state, country, and the world—unimpeded by the mental, emotional, and financial cost of a health issue.

Although Roe v. Wade is still the law of the land, there are state legislatures chipping away at a woman’s right to choose by curtailing access to birth control, shutting down clinics, and imposing unrealistic “rules” about how, when,1 and where a woman can seek an abortion. These rules are often made by politicians, not physicians. Inherent in Roe v. Wade is the supposition that a woman can choose for herself if she does, or does not, want to have an abortion. Her body; her choice. However, we live in uncertain times, and while we do not want to go back to the days when women put their lives at risk to terminate an unwanted pregnancy, it may seem as if we are heading in that direction.2 Fortunately, at the moment, taking a pregnancy to term remains a personal choice, and women can determine for themselves if they want to give birth, give a child up for adoption, or end the pregnancy. All options should remain open.

If these rights to birth control, access to medical and prenatal care for women, or abortion are being curtailed in your state, you can protest, vote, and make your voice heard.3 You can donate your time or money to an organization of your choice that advocates for women’s reproductive rights. You can become an escort at a clinic to help women feel safe when they are seeking care.4

At the end of the day, affordability and availability of health care can impact women’s reproductive health. If insurance does not cover birth control or other services like testing and treatment of sexually transmitted diseases as well as abortion, it leaves women unable to prevent pregnancy or get the care they need. Access to quality care should be every person’s right, but unfortunately the reality is very different.

Oddly enough, being a person with a vagina creates a number of paradoxes as you navigate the big bad world. We live in a crazy world where a woman can be harassed as she is walking to her job as CEO of a corporation, being treated like a sexual object and catcalled one minute and then calling the shots in the next. Women in certain fields are subject to “bro culture” that denigrates them and excludes them—we’re looking at you, tech and science industries—simply because they are not “bros.”

We live in a crazy world where women make 78 cents compared to each dollar their male counterparts take home, often for the same job. Does having a vagina make you less capable of working, learning, leading? We answer with a resounding “No!” There is still work to be done to bridge the gaps not only in opportunities for women but also in the pay gap many women experience. That glass ceiling has many cracks, but it still seems pretty solid in some respects as well.

We live in a world where women have choices and control over how they have sex, but with that freedom can come challenges. With social media, apps, and the general sexual liberation of women, a woman can engage in a new version of “meet market”—as opposed to the “meat markets” of the past when people met at bars and clubs—and find partners for anything from casual hookups to committed relationships with a few swipes on a cell phone. Freedom of choice is awesome, but there are those who will take advantage of a woman looking for a connection and not be honest about themselves or their intentions. We live in a world where we can, through social media, be “friends” with total strangers. Not to put an extra burden on extracurricular activities, but safety first and foremost is important whether you meet via an online app or in line at the DMV.

It’s liberating, amazing, and fun to be able to send an intimate photo to a partner to spice up the relationship, and it’s devastating when that photo is used for shaming and photographic payback if the relationship doesn’t work out. The majority of revenge porn and slut shaming only goes against the people who have vaginas. While we all hear about celebrities who have fallen prey to revenge porn, there have been instances at universities and even in the Marines where women’s intimate photos and explicit videos have been shared without their consent as a way of punishing or shaming them. A sex tape is a great way to share intimate moments with your partner—that is, until it is shared with the entire World Wide Web.

Does this mean that women need to become prudish about social media? No, but it does mean that thinking twice before hitting Send or Post is a wise choice and solid advice for everything from e-mail to Twitter to Facebook. If you think that because a site promises that your exchanges will disappear after a few seconds that it’s safe to share private images, you can think again, because once a pic is out there, it may stay somewhere forever. Those snaps and posts could come back to haunt you.

As much as women have gained in the world, there is still a lot of shame heaped on women’s bodies via everything from advertisers, who airbrush and Photoshop photos into images of unrealistic bodies and send those pics out in the world as paragons of the female form, to porn, where women have flawless bodies devoid of perceived imperfections—including hair—and who give and receive pleasure and multiple orgasms every time with no hangups, no issues, and often with no condoms. Because so many people’s first sexual “experience” is actually watching porn, it sets up some impossible expectations for the bedroom and body image for both males and females. Because the first vulva a dude may see is on a screen and there is no hair down there, when he sees a woman’s lady parts in IRL he expects the same hair-free space. He can reject and body-shame a woman for something that is completely natural. Expectations and behaviors over sex are often influenced and driven by porn and other media. On the other hand, porn can be a useful tool in figuring out what excites you, give you ideas on how to be more adventurous in the bedroom, and open lines of communication about all things sexual with your partner.

If you have a vagina, then you need to be aware of rape culture and what it is and isn’t. Are all males predatory and looking to take advantage of any woman who crosses their paths? No, absolutely not. On the other hand, there seems to be an imbalance of expectations and punishment when it comes to sexual assault and rape. Women are told to keep their knees together or not drink too much at parties or bars. And guys are told, “Boys will be boys.” Um, how is this remotely protective of women, and how does it help dudes to understand they have to take responsibility for their actions and be held accountable? We all need to pay attention to what consent is, and what it isn’t, and not to turn a blind eye toward behavior that crosses a line.

It has been said that the future is female. Does this mean that all men are going to disappear and women are going to take over the world? Yes. No. Maybe. LOL. Truly, the future is full of possibility for women. But we can’t get there if we don’t go together and support one another in the quest for education and empowerment in this country and others.

In our time together at Vagina U, we hope you have gained some new perspective on the care and nurturing of your vagina. We’ve pointed out the health pitfalls you may face that are uniquely female as well as, we hope, given you some new information on how you can express yourself sexually—always safely—and maybe given you some new ideas or inspiration on how to live, love, and learn as a woman with a vagina in the 21st century.