Sloane slipped free of the bed but paused to study Connor. He’d talked for more than an hour about Livy. And after he finally drifted off, he’d been restless, his sleep disturbed by dreams. But now his face lacked the tension of the night before. He looked younger, but not as vulnerable as he’d been last night.
She’d felt the weight of keeping the dealings of her clients private. But what she experienced couldn’t come close to what rested on his shoulders and psyche when it involved the taking of lives to protect himself and others. And not being able to talk about it or share the horror of it with anyone had to be a special kind of torture.
Add to that the loss of his mother and his daughter… The pain he shared with her last night echoed inside her. He grieved for the child he lost with heart-crushing intensity, and she grieved for the one she’d never have.
Though he wrapped his arms around her in his sleep, she’d held him and soothed him when the dreams came.
She crept out of the room and went downstairs to make coffee. She’d promised Bernie she wouldn’t worry about things at the office, and there was nothing she could do to change things. But she wanted a heads-up at least.
With her attention focused on Connor last night, she’d been able to set it all aside, but now dread brought a tremor to her hands, and her stomach knotted.
She poured a cup of coffee and took it and her cell out on the small balcony to sit and coax herself into the right frame of mind to deal with this next hurdle.
Setting aside the cup, she did her breathing exercises to release what anxiety she could. The fragrance from the shrubs Toby gave her the day before seemed to soothe her.
She would remain professional no matter what happened, no matter what was said. She needed to put this behind her.
She dialed the office number, and, recognizing the receptionist’s voice, identified herself and asked to speak to Mr. Johnson.
“I’ll transfer you to Jona, Mr. Johnson’s secretary.”
“Thank you.”
“Mr. Johnson’s office. This is Jona Mitchell speaking.”
Hearing the secretary’s voice gave her an idea and her anxiety ease. “Good morning, Jona. This is Sloane Bianchi.”
“What can I do for you, Ms. Bianchi?”
“Has Mr. Johnson interviewed Reed Alexander to return to work?”
“He’s in a meeting now with him, Ms. Bianchi.”
“Will you give me a call if he offers him a contract?”
“Ms. Bianchi, I really shouldn’t.”
She hated to use pressure to get what she wanted from the woman. “Do you remember that zero you left off the contract for Roberts’ Construction? I never mentioned the mistake to anyone, and I never would. I just want a heads-up so I can make a decision about how to proceed.”
Silence hung over the line for a few seconds. “I’ll call you as soon as I know something.”
“Thank you, Jona. I appreciate it.”
“And for what it’s worth, Ms. Bianchi, we all know about what he did before, and what he tried to do. He’s probably trying to do the same thing now.”
She’d wondered if the office staff had picked up on what was going on. “Thank you for the warning. I’ll stay on my toes, and I’ll be waiting for your call.”
She picked up her cold coffee and wandered back into the living room. She was refilling her cup when Connor came down the stairs, his hair tousled, his jeans zipped but not buttoned. His broad chest and torso were bare, every muscle delineated in the early morning light.
A wave of pure lust swamped her, loosening the tension from her muscles, and making her wet.
“Morning.” His deep voice brushed over her taut nerves like a caress. He lifted her chin to brush a kiss over her lips. “Would you like to go out for breakfast?”
“I’m waiting for a phone call, and I’m afraid I’ll miss it if I get in the shower. But after that I could be persuaded.”
He eyed her questioningly. “Trouble?”
“I’m hoping not.” She almost told him about Reed’s visit the night before, but held it back. He’d be upset on her behalf, and there was no need. “Rumor has it that my ex may be returning to the firm. I should know shortly if it’s true.”
“And if it is?”
“I’ll have to resign. I won’t work with him. But I’ll try to negotiate a severance package for leaving quietly.”
“And Bernie?”
“For her, too. And if that doesn’t work, we’ll both apply for unemployment. She and I talked last night and decided the job just isn’t worth it. The working conditions we’ve both endured this year…” She shook her head. She wouldn’t whine to him about it. It was nothing compared to what he’d endured. She lay awake half the night thinking about that.
“I’m sorry, Sloane.”
Her composure wavered, and she bit her lip. “I’m going to try to look at this as an opportunity, and the impetus to move on to better things.”
“Anything I can do?”
“No. But I appreciate the offer. I have coffee made if you’d like some.”
“I would.”
After handing him his coffee, she sat down on the couch to keep from pacing. When the phone rang, she reached for it. “Hello.”
“This is Jona. He’s offering him the standard contract. The salary isn’t as high as yours, but then he only worked here two years before.”
She’d been with the firm six years. She’d thought she might one day make partner. “Thanks for letting me know.”
“What do you plan to do?”
“I don’t know. I have to think it through.”
“I’m sorry, Ms. Bianchi.”
Jona’s sympathy caught her off guard, and her eyes stung with quick tears. “Thanks, Jona. I’ll be okay. I still have some time.”
When she hung up, Connor sat down next to her.
“You could go in and just say, ‘Fuck it. He’s not running me off.’”
“I can’t work with him, Connor. He hates my guts for costing him his job. How weird is that? There’s a sense of controlled violence about him when he’s anywhere near me now, and I know it wouldn’t take much for it to tip over into the real thing.
“He was never that way before. Reed can be very charming when he wants to be, but he’s also very selfish. I knew that, I just didn’t realize how selfish. He really believes he’s entitled to my job. But the truth is he’s a mediocre attorney. And by taking him back in the fold, Johnson is leaving his company open to problems. But if I tell him that, he’ll believe it’s sour grapes because of our ended relationship.”
“That will be his problem now, Sloane.”
“Yeah, it will.”
“It sounds to me like this Reed guy may be on the edge. Does he have money problems?”
She wouldn’t tell him how stupid she’d been. “He had loans he was paying off when we were together. I don’t know about now. That will be Johnson’s problem, too.” It was almost a relief not to have a choice.
“What do you plan to do?”
“I’ll take some time after I get back from vacation, probably a month, to switch things over to the other lawyers in the firm. I’ll want to personally pick and choose who my clients go to.”
“Can you do that?”
“Yeah, I can. But I’ll have to do it discreetly.”
“That way Reed won’t get any of them.”
“Exactly. Let him start from scratch and bring in his own clients.”
“I’d have never guessed you’d be so sneaky.”
She smiled. “I can be when it’s called for.”
“I like that.”
She laughed and rose. “I’m going to go take a shower and get dressed.”
“Can I come, too?”
She grinned. “As long as you don’t hog all the water.”
She decided sharing a shower with Connor was the best release from worry and stress she’d ever experienced. His big, strong, sensitive hands working their magic over her wet, soapy back, her shoulders, her breasts, coaxed more than one moan from her.
Where Reed had been all about the end result, Connor enjoyed extending the pleasure. And she found touching him as exciting as having his hands on her. Running her own soapy hands over his long, lean torso, she explored the flat buds of his nipples with her fingertips while their mouths clung in long, slow, hungry kisses.
The hard length of his erection rubbed against her belly, and she cupped and stroke every inch of him, proving how perfectly male he was when he grew longer, harder.
The shower stall wasn’t large enough, so after a hasty rinse they staggered out into bedroom and onto the bed. He was inside her in a second, the warm, slick heat of him nestling in her body, then moving with exquisite friction as he plunged and retreated until the pleasure was too much and she cried out, the orgasm so intense she bowed beneath him. The pulse of his release triggered an aftershock that robbed her of breath.
When her vision cleared, she focused on his face above her, and her heart tumbled. The intimacy of last night, witnessing his pain and vulnerability, had shifted something inside her. Something she couldn’t acknowledge. It was too soon.
“Don’t move yet,” she murmured, when he started to leave her. “I just want to feel you close to me.” She’d missed a closeness she never had with Reed. But Connor was here, solid, tender, filling the emptiness and taking away the hurt.
“I forgot to use a condom, Sloane,” he announced with just a hint of concern.
“I’m clean. After I found out about…” She couldn’t bring herself to say his name while they were still connected so intimately. “I was tested several times.”
“You don’t have to worry about anything with me either.”
Her eyes dropped from his face to the steady pulse in his throat. “You don’t have to worry about pregnancy either. I only have a one in a million chance of getting pregnant.”
A cell phone rang, a ring tone Sloane never heard before. Connor pulled away, rolled off the bed to grab up his jeans and jerked his phone free. “Evans,” he answered. His intent, almost harsh expression changed his face to a stranger’s. When he started talking about where he was and how many hours it would take to get back, Sloane slipped off the bed, gathered her clothes, and went into the bathroom to clean up.
He was leaving. The realization cramped her stomach and tore at her heart. She’d thought he was gone for good the night before and she was granted a reprieve. But not this time.
Feeling lost, disoriented, she dressed and brushed her teeth and hair.
Going from being inside Sloane to dressing and leaving like this seemed completely wrong. When she came out of the bathroom, he couldn’t think of a thing to say to her, so he just kept to the facts. “There’s been a development and I’ve been called back to San Diego.” He had a choice. He was on leave and he didn’t have to return. But he’d asked to be involved in this particular takedown. He wanted it. Needed it.
But he needed Sloane, too. Something that had become evident the night before. She needed him, too.
He took two long steps, reached for her, and cupped her shoulders. “I know you haven’t had any experience with what it’s like to be a SEAL’s girlfriend. When I’m called up, I have to go, Sloane.”
She nodded, and for a moment he thought she might cry, but she held it together—which made him proud of her at the same time his lungs tightened.
Her throat worked as she swallowed. “I understand.”
“Thank you for last night, Sloane. I really needed someone to hold on to.”
“I did you, too.”
Her response gave him pause. “Once we’re wheels up, I may be in a place where I can’t get a call out. I won’t know until I get there. But as soon as I’m able to, I’ll call you.”
She nodded. She cleared her throat. “Do you need me to drive you to the airport?”
“Yeah, that would be good. I’m flying out of Savannah. It’s an hour’s drive, and it’ll save Dad from having to pick up his car in short-term parking. If it’s okay, I’ll leave it here, and call him to pick it up.” His hands moved restlessly, smoothing her hair, gripping her hands.
“You’re not going back to get your things?”
“No, there isn’t time. The earliest flight I could get leaves in two hours.”
He gripped her hands hard. “When I get back, we’ll finish our challenge, Sloane. I want more time with you.”
“Okay.”
“This will be my last deployment. I’ve signed the paperwork and it’s ready to go in the mail. I’ll get Dad to send it for me.”
But it might be weeks—it could be months. He still belonged to Uncle Sam for four more months. And she’d go on with her life. Anything could happen.
But this mission might help him finish something that had haunted him for months. And he’d be able to leave the teams with nothing left undone.
He wasn’t throwing away something special. He planned to come back to something new he’d just started. “We’re not ending anything. We’re just postponing things for a little while. I hope you’ll wait for me.”