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JAXON
Jaxon asked Carlisle to text him when he would be over every day at lunch. That way Jaxon knew what time Colin would leave and he watched for a glimpse of her.
Every day, he waited for the text from Carlisle, getting more and more distracted from his work as the time got closer. Just a glimpse. That’s really all he wanted. He’d taken her coffee, then realized after he’d delivered it that she hadn’t ordered coffee when he’d seen her at the shop and she might not like it. He’d been going over and over that in his mind.
He felt out of his depth and he wasn’t sure he liked the complexity of the small-town woman. Because that’s what she was – complex. The simplicity of the women he usually dated had taken on an appeal he hadn’t realized he’d miss. He knew what worked with them – flash a little cash, offer fancy dinners and expensive presents, and they responded appropriately.
Take Colin lunch and Jaxon got the brush off. Her reactions were unexpected and confusing and Jaxon wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do next.
He couldn’t even attempt to be her friend with her guard up so high and tight around her.
A text from Carlisle came in on Thursday.
I won’t be there today. I need to run some errands for Colin while she’s out. I’ll continue tomorrow.
Jaxon’s chance had arrived. He moved into position and waited for Colin to leave her office. She left promptly at eleven-fifty-five – almost exactly five minutes after Carlisle’s text. He rubbed his eye from squinting through the peephole set in the top center of the door.
She glanced at his office like she knew he was watching her, even though there was no way she could see him. He’d checked to make sure no one could see inside.
He reached for his light jacket and waited ten seconds before pulling open the door. He had to know where she was going every day and why she didn’t take her phone. With Carlisle busy, Jaxon had to take the opportunity presented to him.
At the rate they were going, she’d never tell him anything. He had to ignore Carlisle’s cautions and go after her.
Descending the steps quietly, Jaxon followed Colin down Main Street. She crossed the street at the intersection, but Jaxon stayed on his side. He followed at a sedate pace, allowing her to get a little ahead of him. With her bright red coat reaching to mid-thigh, it wasn’t like she was going to blend in and easily disappear.
Jaxon tucked his hands in his jacket pockets, grateful he’d grabbed something to pull over his suit jacket. He might be there in Sandpoint for a little hiatus from crazy, busy Seattle life, but the weather had apparently decided to follow him.
The rain had let up since the weekend, but the sun hid behind the clouds, leaving behind a blustery spring chill Jaxon wasn’t sure he liked. At least it wasn’t constant rain like Seattle in the spring, and summer, and fall... okay, all the time. In Sandpoint, the rain fell straight down or even slight to the side with the wind. In Seattle, the rain had the audacity to come at from every angle, like even the ground tried getting in on the action.
Colin’s cherry red raincoat disappeared between some wrought iron gates that framed the distant view of a cloud-spotted lake surface. Just beyond the lake’s grey waters the mountains towered over, clouds settling about the tops like smoke hanging around an old man smoking a pipe.
Habbot’s Cemetery was welded into the archway above the entrance and Jaxon walked through, slowing down in case he came upon Colin at one of the memorials or gravesites.
Colin didn’t stop at a grave or take a seat on one of the benches. She continued walking, passing by each stone and marker without glancing their way like she’d seen them plenty of times and didn’t need to witness their existence again. Her pace didn’t slow and she kept her head down.
The cemetery was just part of her path. What kind of a meeting was she going to? Different scenarios scuttled through Jaxon’s mind as he considered what she could be up to. As much as he didn’t want to consider it, he had to admit that the situation warranted that of a drug deal. Was she a dealer? Maybe she used ClickandWed as a front. It wasn’t as far out of left field as most people would assume. In Seattle, activities like that were more common and Jaxon knew a few people who claimed that small towns had a bigger drug problem than most large cities.
Jaxon would have to discontinue his association with ClickandWed, if that was the case. He was publicly against drugs and other mind-altering substances and it wouldn’t help his brand to be caught up in it.
Disappointment slowed his pace even further. He shook his head as he realized he’d already tried and convicted Colin in his head as a drug dealer. Was that easier than accepting that she simply might not be interested in him? For his pride? Yes. For his heart? No. He had to find out what she was doing, so he could figure out what direction he would take his interest.
Plus, it was tedious that he was the one chasing her with no sign of relenting on her part. There was only so much effort a man could put out there.
Jaxon’s shoes scraped on the blacktop path, but he was too far behind Colin for her to hear. Looking around, Jaxon took in the serenity of the willow tree branches as they waved back and forth in the invisible wind overhead. The cemetery had an old feel to it with moss and lichen spotted headstones and thick, lush grass covering the ground, allowing the large knobby roots of the trees to poke through in various spaces.
Benches set up here and there didn’t detract from the scenery or the peaceful ambience of the resting area. Jaxon wished for a moment that he wasn’t walking alone so he could comment on the serene beauty of the place.
He glanced forward, his heart rate increasing as he realized he’d lost sight of Colin. Walking faster, Jaxon searched the horizon for where she could have gone. He’d gotten caught up in the view when he shouldn’t have been so confident he wouldn’t lose her.
He walked and walked and until he was upon it, he hadn’t realized there were concrete and pebble steps leading out of the cemetery, closer to the water. Glancing back, he realized that the path had dipped in the center of the cemetery and leveled out. When he’d entered, he’d been higher than he was as he stood at the steps.
Climbing the stairs, he stopped at the top, inhaling with wonder. A long rocky beach stretched out below him. The grays, browns, and blacks of the scene were broken up by the presence of Colin’s bright red back sitting on a naturally formed rock bench.
She stared out at the water, her arms folded across her chest. Long strands of her luscious, dark hair floated on the slight breeze which was stronger there by the water.
Gulls called in the winds as they soared along the shoreline, dipping and swirling like some kind of predestined show.
Jaxon walked toward her, making no noise as he padded across the grass behind her to the steps to the beach. As he got closer, he couldn’t help wondering how he was going to announce his presence. It wasn’t like he was wandering by or anything. He had to have followed her there.
Sheepish, he rubbed at the back of his neck and regretted his decision to come. Could he turn and leave before she saw him, before she knew he was there? She would be upset and Jaxon wouldn’t blame her. Shame flushed his face with heat. What was he doing? She was getting under his skin, driving him insane and the person he was becoming had a desperation about him.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Colin’s voice lacked anger as she cut through his self-destructive thoughts. She sounded like she was seeking a mutual understanding and she could just have been talking to the birds as well as him.
Emboldened by her comment, Jaxon rounded the end of the bench and claimed a spot a foot away from Colin. She didn’t move as he sat, just continued staring out at the water, her expression stoic.
Jaxon leaned back, folding his arms across his stomach and his legs half-bent in front of him. He stared at the water as well. White tips tossed about on the waves as the wind moved the water quickly from shore to shore.
“We’re friends, right? I mean, as close as we can be as friends in just a few days.” And with as little contact as we’ve had. Jaxon spoke softly, careful not to shatter the peace of the setting. Colin was obviously there seeking something and he’d cut into her time because he couldn’t figure out what he could do for her, be for her, to help her at least give him a chance.
She nodded slowly, as if she wasn’t sure of the answer, but yes was as good as no and less offensive.
Jaxon had to dive in to see just what he was up against. “Why do you think there’s no one else? Did he cheat on you or something? Was he abusive?” An abusive boyfriend or husband would be hard to overcome, but a cheating man wouldn’t be as bad. Maybe. Honestly, Jaxon just wanted to know what he was being compared to so he’d at least know if he had any chances – ever.
The questions startled Colin enough she turned to look at him. She shook her head, sadness in the curve of her lips and angle of her eyes. “No. I wish it were that. I would want to move on from something like that.” Her wistful smile tore through his hope. “As it is, this is a choice. This isn’t just a circumstance inflicted on me. I’m not alone because I have no other option. I’m alone because...” Her voice trailed off and she half-shrugged, the movement noticeable with the whisper of the material of her coat as she moved.
“When?” When had she had her heart destroyed? Jaxon leaned forward, watching her, as he rested his elbows on his knees.
“About twelve years ago? Although, if you give me a minute, I can get it down to the second. I was nineteen, too young to know that hard of a loss.” She turned her gaze back to the lake and that’s when Jaxon realized she wasn’t staring at the water, but at the long bridge that stretched across the waist of Pend Oreille lake, connecting Sandpoint to the rest of the state.
“What happened? What could be so bad?” Jaxon turned, angling toward her and away from the sight of the gray bridge over the gray water under the gray sky.
Colin chuckled, but the sound lacked humor. “If you really want to know... We were driving back from the game. He’d proposed to me on the camera at the basketball game. He’d called to set it up before. There was music and... It was all... so... spectacular.” She laughed, wiping moisture from under her eyes. “Coming home, we... we ran into some black ice and slammed into a tree, there, at the end of the bridge.” She lifted a shaking finger and pointed at the bridge. Her lips twisted as she continued. “He... he died in my arms. He was my best-friend and all I ever wanted.”
She clenched her hands between her knees and closed her eyes. Gasping for air, she softly shook her head. “I can’t even picture him anymore, but the ache is still there. I come here every day to get my head on straight, remember what I do ClickandWed for. So many people think it’s about the money, or about... who knows what. What we had? Irreplaceable. But something everyone deserves at least once.”
Jaxon struggled to take a solid breath. He hadn’t expected that. Hadn’t expected she’d actually experienced loss of such a traumatic type. He looked down at the rocks mingled with blades of grass at his feet.
Colin scooted to the edge of the bench, wrapping the edge of the seat with her hands. She didn’t look at Jaxon as she continued staring at the bridge. “I’m going to walk back, now. Please, don’t follow me.” She stood, unwilling or unable to look at him as she disappeared down the steps and out of sight.
Left there to take over her chore of monitoring the bridge, Jaxon watched the various colors of cars speed along the length, their paint visible in the holes of the concrete railing.
Her fiancé had died in her arms. Died as she’d held him. How did someone recover from something like that? Or more importantly, did someone recover from a loss of that magnitude?
As far as Colin was concerned, it didn’t seem like she had or would. But that wasn’t because she couldn’t. She’d admitted she chose to be alone.
No matter what Jaxon did, he’d never be able to compete with that.