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JAXON
Colin was just trying to make herself seem like another person after his money. Jaxon got it. He understood being pushed away because she was afraid of getting hurt again. How many times had he done the same thing? Usually, though, it was a preservation technique after he sensed the woman he was with was interested in him just for his money. He never let it get far enough that she would be able to emotionally hurt him.
No one ever got that far.
How had Colin been able to get under his skin so fast? She was sweet when she wasn’t trying to be all prickly. Her guard was up against being hurt and it wasn’t because she’d been hurt by anyone, but because she’d been hurt by losing someone. That was unavoidable and something you chanced when you cared. She was scared of being hurt.
But Jaxon wouldn’t hurt her.
He’d even said love. Why? Why had he gone there? He knew the weight that word carried and that she was already skittish. He didn’t have to push her so hard, so aggressively.
The fact that she’d gone after the one thing he’d considered his biggest weakness with finding love showed how resolute she was in protecting her heart. She wasn’t the type to strike out to hurt someone. But he’d cornered her and he took responsibility for that mistake.
Jaxon didn’t blame her one bit. In fact, if he got past his own bruised ego about being rejected, he’d be proud of her for sticking to her guns and protecting herself so well.
He did doubt that he was going to get anywhere pushing her. Jaxon’s normal aggressive moves that he excelled at in his business dealings might not be the ideal tactic to use in matters of the heart. He needed to regroup.
Giving her what she wanted for the time being seemed like the smartest move. At least for a while.
Jaxon was at a loss. She wanted his money and to be left alone. He wished he could tell her to take it all from him – the combination of the two – money and loneliness – made for cold nights and long days.
Leaving the lease open on the office space since he’d signed a three month contract made it a no brainer. In case he needed to come back or hire some more specialists there would be a space available and he wouldn’t have to search for anything.
Colin was going to get her space.
He left for Seattle before the end of the business day on Friday. He didn’t bother saying goodbye. She’d been pretty adamant that she wanted nothing to do with him and that she wanted to just leave things professional. He wouldn’t seek out other partners. He didn’t seek her out.
Hopefully, she really wanted what she demanded.
~~~
BACK IN HIS OWN CONDO, Jaxon felt out of place. Something had shifted in the short time he’d been gone. He hadn’t realized how much he’d grown to like the slower pace in Sandpoint, the bright colors of spring muted by the grays of the spring drizzles.
Traffic was too loud, people spoke and moved too fast. Jaxon had left his new clothes hanging in the closet in Sandpoint and his business suits felt restrictive and thin. How had he ever survived the cold of Seattle without flannel shirts and jeans?
Sitting at his in-home desk early Monday morning, Jaxon finished going over the numbers for the last quarter of ClickandWed and turned his budget analysis into a .pdf. He emailed the digital copy to Colin with a short note.
Here’s the budget analysis I promised you. The bank has confirmed the money will be in your account today or tomorrow. I’ll have my accountant contact you for an updated financial dossier on the tenth of every month.
Looking forward to great things with ClickandWed.com.
Jaxon
He clicked send before he could rethink anything in the email. Before he could beg her to reconsider. He didn’t want to be a silent partner. He wanted to see just what possibilities there were between them.
Nerves fluttered in his stomach and he turned toward the other business files on his desk that his assistant had kept prioritized for him while he was gone. Things that could wait until he returned had been organized regarding what needed to be done first, what needed to be done by a certain time, and what were upcoming in the future.
Jaxon’s email blinked with a new message.
Thank you for the analysis and the investment. I see great things happening with ClickandWed. There’s so much potential here. If you get a chance, you should sign up and see if you get matched. I designed it to be a fun process. You might like it.
Surprised you were gone. I hadn’t meant to run you off. There are just things I have to keep my eye on. Hope you had a good flight.
C.
What did that mean? Did she want him to try her program or was she saying she wasn’t interested by pushing him to get matched to someone else? She’d already pushed it on him once before. Was that a reminder that she wasn’t interested? He didn’t need a reminder on that account. He didn’t really want to talk about that with her unless she was volunteering to see if they got matched. Maybe she was trying to tell him to do it and they’d get matched.
That last thought brought a chuckle from him. Of course, she wasn’t saying that. If anyone held their heart more closed off than Colin, it was only because they were frozen in a coffin.
He leaned back in his chair and swiveled back and forth. He narrowed his eyes at the email. Why would she even bring up being matched? She didn’t have to mention love interest or matching to anyone. He hadn’t brought up dating or finding future happiness. Why was that the direction she’d taken it? Was she opening the door again?
Jaxon couldn’t tell if she was playing games or if she was genuinely suggesting it.
Okay, he’d play. What did he have to lose at this point? He reached out and typed a reply.
Sorry to put pressure on you. I’ll back off and give you what you want. Plus, it makes it very clear that you’re not interested when you continually push matching me to the first woman your program connects me to. Unless of course you’re hoping it matches me to you. ;)
J.
Jaxon laughed as he hit send. Hopefully, Colin took it in the same teasing manner he’d sent it.
At that point, though, he really had to just stop worrying about it. Backing off was his only option since he really didn’t know who else to be, if not himself.
She’d either like him or she wouldn’t. He couldn’t force anything. And even though she claimed to only want his money, if that was the case, she would be married to him by now.
Marriage. What an interesting concept. One he hadn’t considered before. If Colin continued playing hard to get – even if she wasn’t playing – Jaxon would have to consider other options and he couldn’t see himself with anyone else.
That was the scariest thing.
Colin had given up on caring for anyone else because of what she’d lost. She couldn’t have the man she’d loved when she was younger so there she was pining for him even now, blocking her heart to what could be.
What if Jaxon did that? He hadn’t lost Colin physically, like she had lost him, and he hadn’t technically had her, but the possibility had been driven down to nothing while he was still hopeful. Just because she’d been disinterested didn’t mean he was and his feelings and attraction to her had grown despite her wishes.
That wasn’t her responsibility to take care of him, but he couldn’t help wishing she wanted to.
What if he longed for her and missed out on a chance at happiness with someone else, like she was doing, because he was distracted with thoughts of her?
He didn’t want to be alone forever.
If Jaxon didn’t figure out what he was doing, one way or the other, he very well could be alone and miserable. Did he want what Colin had?
No, but he didn’t know if he could want anyone else when he’d had a glimpse of the kind of woman Colin was. Jaxon had no doubt they’d be matched together, if the program were given the chance.
Colin would never go for it.
Jaxon didn’t know how else to convince her to give him a shot.
As he pulled the immediate stack of folders in front of him, Jaxon’s heart fell. He had a feeling no matter what he did, Colin wasn’t going to pick him.
If that was his reality, he wouldn’t be able to invest in ClickandWed for a long-term basis – no matter how smart of a business move it might be.
Thankfully, his contract with Colin was term dependent and would need to be renewed every fiscal year.
He didn’t want to be emotionally affected by work. Jaxon certainly wasn’t by his other ventures. Yet, there he was, breaking a cardinal rule and he couldn’t even stop himself.
What had Colin done to him? And how long was he going to suffer?