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JAXON
Jaxon stared at his email. He didn’t move as he paused his dictation to his secretary about the things he needed done that week. Used to his moments of quiet, she paused and waited until he started speaking again.
Colin’s email didn’t clarify if the purchase of the car had been another aggressive move to push her away or not. She’d mentioned that he really did think she only wanted him for the money, but that wasn’t why he’d given her the car.
He didn’t know how else to gift women. He wanted to give something that would show how much he cared, how important she was. Wasn’t a car perfect for that sentiment? It was the only clue she’d given him about what she’d liked besides the pizza and the interior of her office.
Jaxon’s gut twisted. Did he make another aggressive move or did he leave it alone? His nerves didn’t want him to email back. But his heart demanded that he take the opening in communication and go with it. No matter what he said, he would have a chance to message her.
Cars are good gifts for those only interested in money. Plus, this is a huge step forward. Now, Shandie can do the site and it’s just a matter of launching it with the right advertising. Things have a way of working themselves out.
J.
He hit send before he could change his mind. Walking on egg shells wasn’t his style and he wasn’t going to start with her. If she didn’t like him, then she didn’t like him. It wouldn’t be because he wasn’t himself. Plus, he was trying to listen to what she’d said. She wasn’t interested in a relationship. He could respect that. Wasn’t that what he said to Amelia and the woman never listened?
If by some miracle, Colin did decide her attraction to him wasn’t fake, then he wanted to be sure he was his true self.
His secretary shifted on her seat and he lifted his gaze to her, startled that he’d forgotten where he was and what he was doing. He cleared his throat. “Um, that’s all for today. We can pick up tomorrow morning. Thanks.” Jaxon nodded and waited for her to leave. Her efficiency and discretion kept her value to the company and Jaxon high. He gave her regular bonuses and she earned every cent.
Turning back to his computer, he stared at his email for a drawn out ten minutes.
Fifteen minutes.
Sitting back in his seat, Jaxon folded his hands across his chest and continued staring at the screen. He’d gone too far with that first line. He shouldn’t have said she only wanted the money. She’d already mentioned it. Why did he have to beat the topic into the ground? How did he apologize for his comment without coming across as desperate?
Jaxon had a feeling desperation pushed Colin away.
His email dinged and he sat forward, his heart thumping loudly. Why was he so anxious to get closer to her?
I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry.
Jaxon shook his head. His opportunity had presented itself. He needed to take it. Make it more meaningful. Her apology stroked something in his chest and he smiled as if she were sitting beside him.
I shouldn’t have made the comment myself. I wasn’t kidding when I said women only want me for my money. One woman refused to go out with me unless I picked her up in a limo. Another added me to her Amazon account and set it up to alert me when she added something to her wishlist.
It was refreshing that you were at least honest about it. I don’t mind being used for my money. It’s one thing I have lots of. Some would say it’s my best trait.
☺
J.
Was that raw enough? Being vulnerable wasn’t his best trait. Apparently, money was. He could be a little too honest at times, but Colin seemed to appreciate that. His charm wasn’t something she seemed prepared to deal with.
He leaned back and swiveled his chair to the side to see out the window. Resting his finger on his jaw, he considered the skyline. Why was he pursuing Colin so doggedly? Was it because if he could get her to consider dating him, it wouldn’t be because of his money? He would actually have to prove himself to her.
He hadn’t had to do that in forever. But was he really the type to enjoy the chase more than the end goal? He didn’t think so. Having a chance with Colin would be like facing a future of possibility he’d never really accepted before. He’d already dropped his defenses. Maybe being vulnerable and anxious for a woman to like him was exactly what he needed to open his heart.
Ding.
He turned back, surprised she’d replied to that self-deprecating email.
Let me be clear. I’m protecting myself. That’s all. It’s not that I can’t love you. It’s not even that I won’t. It’s just that you’re making me think about things I promised myself I wouldn’t ever consider again.
I haven’t wanted to be with you because of my issues. Not because of you.
If I were ready for love again, you’re exactly the type of man I would go for. And not because of your money. That shouldn’t matter.
You’re extremely generous and funny and kind and more things I’m not going to list in case your ego gets too pumped up.
Suffice it to say, Jaxon, you’d make anyone a tremendous catch.
You don’t need to buy me to be your friend.
That being said, there’s no way I’m giving this car back. When you return, let’s go out for a drive. It has the original straight-6!
C.
Jaxon’s heart stopped aching and instead began pumping with renewed vigor. Had he gotten through to her? Something had broken through her wall as she’d said he was exactly what she would want – and not because of the money.
He wanted to stand up and dance or something equally silly and embarrassing. Colin made him feel giddy and overwhelmingly romantic without even being in the same city, or even the same state as him.
Rereading the email four or five more times didn’t lessen his excitement or the over-analyzing of every sentence.
Colin wanted him to come back and she wasn’t adamant that she wanted him only as a friend and investor. Had he made any headway? Was she saying it was okay for him to try? Or was she only talking to him like that because she’d accepted him as a friend? The bitter possibility of failure ripped through him like a knife to the chest.
What did he do? How did he reply to that? Jaxon wasn’t sure if it was a rejection – like the last one ever, or if he’d just been told too bad things aren’t different, you’re exactly what I want. Or if he’d been told to go ahead and pursue her. The entire situation was confusing and Jaxon didn’t know how much more he wanted to face.
After a long moment of staring at the computer, Jaxon didn’t answer Colin’s email. Instead, he set about returning to his daily life. He tried to ignore the aching hole in his heart from meeting Colin and not having her in his life like he wanted.