I am so nervous as I wait and practice what I’m going to say a million times over and when the key enters the lock and I hear it turn, my stomach turns with it. This is it, confession time and I’m not sure what the outcome will be.
I notice Anthony looking tired and worried as he heads inside and immediately, I can tell something has happened. He looks at me with such a worried look; I swear my heart stops beating for a fraction of a second.
There are no pleasant greetings as he says roughly, “Come and sit down, Arabella.”
My legs shake as I move to sit with him on the couch, noting that he doesn’t even ask for his usual gin and tonic.
He kicks off his shoes and loosens his tie and puts his head in his hands and my heart thumps as he says in a dull voice, “I haven’t been feeling well lately and thought it was due to the stress I’m under, so I went to see Doctor Edmonds.”
His words shock me because they weren’t what I expected. With fear, I say with a tremor to my voice, “What did he say?”
He sighs. “They’ve found something in my bowel. They think it may be cancer.”
The screams start in my mind as I struggle to comprehend what he’s saying. “Cancer?” I whisper, barely able to say the word we all dread.
He nods. “Yes, I must go in for an operation in two weeks’ time. At least they’re acting quickly, which is a good thing, I suppose, but it’s still a shock.”
As I take his hand, I squeeze it gently as the tears fall. “I’m so sorry, darling.”
He nods. “Listen, don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. It’s just another challenge to face and another obstacle to overcome. Work has been good about it and given me time off for the operation. Until then, I’ll be working longer hours to make sure everything’s set for my absence.”
I say angrily, “Couldn’t they give you a break? You shouldn’t be working at a time like this. It’s not right.”
Anthony yells angrily, “For goodness’ sake, Arabella, don’t you realise how far up shit creek we are? Of course, I must work long hours because this job is the key to our future and the last thing I need is you whining on when I need your support right now. Just put up and shut up because I am going through some serious shit at the moment and don’t need a nagging wife to come home to.”
He storms out of the room, leaving me gasping in disbelief. Did he really just speak to me like that? He tells me he has a life-threatening illness and when I offer him emotional support, he calls it nagging.
I can’t get my head around what is happening and remember I was going to confront him about the hotel room. I realise now I can’t broach the subject, because more stress is the last thing Anthony needs right now. I put my hands on my stomach and wonder if a little life is forming inside it. Have I been foolish and gone full steam ahead with something that will ultimately end badly? The walls are closing in on me, and I don’t know where to turn. How has this all happened so quickly?
Suddenly, Desdemona Fortune’s words come back to haunt me. Beware the Ten Commandments. Has Anthony committed adultery? Is that what she was trying to warn me about? Maybe she was right to warn me because my life has fallen into a big black hole that appears to have no way out. Perhaps this is rock bottom and we can find a solution to all our problems because the only thing I have left right now is hope and faith in God.