“Ha! Gin,” Ellie laughed. “I finally won one.”
Her left arm in a sling, she sat next to Roger’s bed, spreading her cards on his lunch tray.
“The law of averages,” he said, tossing his cards down.
“You mean it wasn’t my great skill?”
“Well…”
“That’s okay, don’t lie. It’s bad for your karma.” She pushed the tray to the side as he leaned back on his pillows, still sitting up.
“When are they going to spring you?” Roger was getting out tomorrow.
“Tomorrow, too, if there’s a God.” She took her arm out of the sling and slowly flexed it. “I feel pretty good, about 75 percent maybe, but so much better than I did. I still can’t believe I got shot. That’s so out of my realm of reference. It hurts a lot more than it looks like it hurts on TV.”
“I’m sorry.”
He looked so distressed.
“For what, Roger?”
“If you didn’t work for me, you wouldn’t have gotten shot.”
“I don’t know what it is with men. You’re guilt sponges. Russell blames himself because he was wrestling with Sludge when the gun went off. Wesley thinks it’s his fault because he and Spencer couldn’t get through the door fast enough. And now you. If so many things had been different I wouldn’t have gotten shot. If I had found a job in communications. If I hadn’t moved to California. If I hadn’t driven to the convention center when I did. But you didn’t shoot me. None of you shot me. Sludge did. And it only happened because I was trying to keep Russell from getting hurt.”
“Yeah, how’s that working for you now?”
She leaned back, almost afraid to ask. “What do you mean?”
“We all saw the way you looked at him and the interaction between you two. We could practically see the sparks flying. Are you really moving back to Chicago?”
She felt such a surge of panic at the question, she felt light-headed. Was she going back? And if she did, was it a proactive move or running away? And running away from what? As if you didn’t know. Here’s a hint: half rodent and all man. But if he had been as interested in her as she thought he was, why hadn’t she seen him in two days? She had really misread him. Surprise. Surprise. He’s already moved on, hasn’t he?
“I...I’m just not sure. And he’s not a one-woman man anyway.”
“Are you sure about that?”
Uh, yeah, he was sleeping with Tiffy and kissing her. And lighting up the sky.
“Pretty much.” She’d been in his room for an hour and just now noticed a cooler in the corner. “What’s in the cooler, Roger?” It was almost an accusation.
He grinned. “As if you didn’t know. Russell brought them, packed in dry ice.”
“Oh.” He was such a good guy. Damn.
Suddenly she felt almost unbearably sad. He patted her hand. “You know, almost dying makes you feel weak and vulnerable and wishy-washy at first, but then you realize you survived. You’re stronger than you think. You recognize life is precious. It can be snatched from you in an instant. So wouldn’t you want to make every second count, leave nothing unsaid?”
Ellie smiled, one of those sad half smiles, and squeezed his hand. “You’re a wise man, Roger Neff. You could have been a guru.”
“I don’t know about that. I think I’ll settle for being a French god.”
* * *
Wesley and Chantella stood by his Taurus, the Las Vegas sun beating down mercilessly.
“Are you absolutely sure about this?” he asked, so sweetly it brought tears to her eyes. He thought she had never looked more beautiful. She wore white leather pants that look painted on and a purple tank top that matched with the purple in several of her tattoos. And the tips of her hair were purple too. He could never top that, but he did try to spiff up a bit with his black leather pants and white embroidered shirt.
“I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life,” she said with such conviction he nearly swelled with pride.
“Well, then let’s get on with it, my lady.”
He grabbed her hand, lacing their fingers, and they calmly walked into the Little Chapel of the Desert. Inside sat Bonnie, a rather pale Roger, Spencer, Tiffy, Toni, Rob and Ellie, still sporting her sling.
As the couple passed their friends and co-workers, Chantella stopped. “Where’s Russell?”
Ellie was wondering the same thing. He sure had pulled a disappearing act. Another one of his many talents. And one with which she was more than familiar.
“He went back to L.A. this morning,” Bonnie said, giving Ellie kind of a funny look.
Ellie was stunned. He was gone? Just like that? He didn’t even say goodbye? “How’d he get there?”
“I don’t know.”
“He probably wore the Muskman outfit and hitchhiked,” Rob chuckled.
Toni leaned over and whispered in Ellie’s ear, “Good riddance.”
Ellie felt affronted. Very affronted. She started to protest and then saw the gleam in Toni’s eyes. “You’re messing with me, aren’t you?”
Toni smiled her Cheshire cat smile.
“Will you stand up with me, Ellie?” Chantella almost looked nervous, as if Ellie might refuse.
“Of course. I’d be honored.” She stood and made her way out of the pew.
“And Roger if you’re feeling up to it?” Wesley added.
“Sure.”
As the four of them proceeded to the altar, Ellie thought Chantella made a beautiful bride. She could set an all new trend here. The leather bride. She turned to her glowing friend. “It’s too bad none of your family could be here to share this with you.”
“Oh, we’ll have to do this again with the whole family or they’ll never forgive me. We just didn’t want to wait one more day.”
“Ah, that’s true love.”
“Yeah, and a bun in the oven.”
She smiled. “I guess there is that.”
Even Ellie knew, though, that Wesley and Chantella would never get married simply because she was pregnant. They were so independent and 21st century and whatever else made them free thinkers, yet in other ways they were beyond traditional, even if their appearance might scare some narrow-minded people.
“Where are your parents?” Chantella wondered. “They could have come.”
“They’re back at the hotel, waiting for me.”
The ceremony was nothing out of the ordinary, unsurprisingly similar to Brian’s wedding, but Ellie felt a lump in her throat and had to seriously concentrate to keep from crying. Chantella felt like a little sister to her. She and Wesley were so young and happy and in love and she would never have the man she loved and would die alone with seven cats and piles of newspapers and chewing gum wrappers strewn around her body. Oh, please, could you be any more melodramatic? If you want him, go get him. Or at least tell him how you feel. What have you got to lose?
“My dignity?”
The minister had just told Wesley he could kiss Chantella and everyone turned to look at Ellie.
“Uh, hot diggity!” she said lamely. At this point, are you sure you have any dignity to lose?
Wesley gently pulled Chantella to him and kissed her so lovingly, so divinely, Ellie couldn’t stop a tear from escaping. She was not envious and could not have wished her friends a happier, more satisfying life, but why could she never seem to find that happiness and fulfillment herself? You want some cheese with that whine?
After the wedding, the group moved to the Courtyard Dumont Hotel bar, where they hoisted one for the newlyweds. They dissected the wedding ceremony, talked about how the happy couple had met and about their families. As the Full Court Press group was debating the merits of the latest Fantagraphics series, Ellie looked at Toni and Rob and blew air out her mouth, puffing out her cheeks.
“You’re not really moving back to Chicago,” Toni said, making it screamingly obvious she was disappointed in Ellie.
Ellie took a sip of her beer and then looked her disgruntled friend in the eye. “When I woke up in the hospital after I was shot, I felt so weak and somehow like a major failure.”
Toni started to interrupt, no doubt with a pep talk, but Ellie put up a hand to stop her.
“Honestly, I think I was waiting for Russell to declare his undying love to me, to sweep me in his arms and take care of me until I could take care of myself, but he didn’t, and deep down, I guess I really didn’t expect him to. That’s not his thing.”
“Yeah,” said Rob. “He only sat with you for 24 hours, putting cool cloths on your head and adjusting your covers.”
“I know he likes me. He likes everyone. Well, except Sludge.”
What a crock.
“Anyway, I was feeling all weepy and sorry for myself and my parents bulldozed their way in, taking charge, which apparently is what I needed at the time.”
Toni shook her head and Rob just looked perplexed.
“Now I’m better, though, stronger. More myself. At least not my wimpy self.”
Toni nodded enthusiastically.
“And there’s no way in hell I’m going back to Chicago.”
Toni jumped up and threw her arms around Ellie. “I knew it.”
“Ow,” Ellie.
“Oh, sorry.” Toni jerked back. “I knew you couldn’t have turned into such a weenie. Didn’t I say that, Rob?”
Rob chuckled. “Yeah, in a more insulting way.”
Ellie looked at her accusingly.
“I was kinda mad at you.” She gave her husband the hairy eyeball. “Thanks for sharing, Rob.”
Just then Ellie’s phone rang. She dug for it in her purse, looked at the caller and let it go to voice mail. “That’s my cue to leave.”
“Your mother?”
Ellie nodded with a rueful smile.
“That’s the fourth time she’s called since we’ve been here. She must really be a barracuda. How come you never mentioned that?”
Ellie stood and dug some bills out of her wallet and laid them on the table. “She was always strong, but I don’t remember her ever being this…whatever she is. Pushy. Rude. And fairly aggravating. Maybe it’s just her Mama Bear persona, like Bonnie’s when she’s protecting Roger. It must be scary when you hear your only child has been shot. I get that.”
“If you’re going to be so agreeable, I’m not sure you can stand up against her. You want us to come?”
Ellie smiled. “That’s tempting, but I need to do this alone. I’ll call you when I get back to Bella Casa.”
“Okay, we’re gonna go back to our hotel and check out.”
“I can’t thank you guys enough. You were brilliant and I’m so lucky to be your friend.”
“We had so much fun,” Toni replied.
She and Rob got up and said their goodbyes. They both hugged Ellie, gently, and they left. Ellie watched them go. Yep, the world is full of happy couples.
She just happened to look over at Bonnie then and see her give a little nod to Spencer, who got up and said his farewells, dragging Tiffy with him.
“Hashtag, I’ll see you all before I leave.”
Ellie started to leave, too, but Bonnie leaned over and asked her to wait. “Um, I need a few words with the Full Court Press crew.” Roger had gone back to their room after the wedding, so Bonnie was representing the company.
Although she doubted anything could pierce the veil of joy covering Wesley and Chantella, Ellie had a little feeling of not dread, exactly, but apprehension. Another surprise? Haven’t you had enough of those?
As Ellie waited for the bad news, since that was how life seemed to be happening lately, Bonnie explained that the original plan was for her and Roger to return to Bella Casa after the convention. Roger would have the surgery, and Bonnie would run the company. A month or so later, when he had recovered, they’d close it down and move to France.
“Since his heart attack and the surgery,” she hesitated, blinking. “I thought I was losing him. I find I can’t go back to work with him at home recovering.”
The three loyal employees all spoke up, endorsing her position. They would do the same thing, they said.
“Unfortunately, that means we’re pretty much shut down now. We’ll all take a couple days next week to get the existing orders out, but then we’re done. We’ll probably do some publishing with Spencer when we get to France, but I’m not even sure we’ll call it Full Court Press.”
They all assured her they understood, but an aura of sadness pervaded the group. It was the end of an era.
“Roger and I have talked about it, and we agreed. We’re going to give each of you one month’s severance pay.”
“You don’t have to do that,” Ellie insisted. She felt bad momentarily for speaking up, thinking Wesley and Chantella could probably use the money, and then the young couple seconded her position.
“You know we sold the comic, right?” Bonnie smiled. “It’s no hardship and we want to. We couldn’t ask for better employees. It made for a perfect closure for this volume of our lives.”
Ellie took Bonnie’s hand. “It’s been such a pleasure and an honor. And so much fun. I’ll miss you.”
The newlyweds echoed those sentiments.
Alas, it was all going to end. Yes, another ending. For a moment Ellie wondered how many of those a person suffered or enjoyed going through in her lifetime. Graduating from high school and college, going from being single to married, losing or changing jobs, divorcing, losing a loved one. Or losing a home you grew up in, like Russell. Life truly was about change. But you don’t have to like it, do you?
“Well,” Bonnie said, bringing Ellie back to the present, “you’re all invited to France.” She wiped a tear from her reddening eyes.
After everyone departed, Ellie found a loveseat in the lobby and sank into it. Her thoughts kept drifting to Russell, but she willed them to drift back to the problem at hand: her mother, the bulldozer. Sucking in a breath, she phoned her, listened to the expected upbraiding for not returning the calls sooner and arranged to meet her parents in the coffee shop at the Bellagio, where they were staying. Twenty minutes later, she spotted them in a booth along the far wall. They both stood when she approached, hugging her gingerly as if she would shatter into a million pieces if they squeezed too hard. Maybe she would. Her mother wore a stylish red print dress with a matching vest, and her stepfather had on his ubiquitous sport coat with a white Oxford shirt under it and black pants. They looked so…so proper. Ellie fought the urge to chuckle. Before her stint at Full Court Press, “proper” would have been a good thing. Now she wished she had a furry costume to wear.
* * *
“We haven’t ordered yet. We were waiting for you,” her mother said as they sat.
“Thank you, Mom.” Ellie picked up a menu and began perusing. She could feel her folks’ eyes boring into her. Why was this so hard? She was almost 29, an adult, for God sakes. Yeah, with your inner child trying to break out. Flee!
“We’ve got time, but we don’t want to tarry if we want to catch our flight.”
Ellie took a deep breath and put down the menu. “I’m sorry, but I’m not going with you.”
Her mother sputtered as she was in a mid-sip of her water. “Of course you are. We have it all planned.”
Ellie sighed. Here we go. Let ‘er have it. “Yes, you do have it all planned. But it’s your plan, not mine.”
“We’re just trying to help you. That’s what parents do.”
“And I’m so grateful that you care. Truly.”
A waiter appeared then, and Ellie smiled at him. “Could you give us a few more minutes, please?”
“Sure.” The waiter left.
“Eleanor, you were shot,” her mother felt the need to point out. “You could have died.”
It was obvious that she was truly horrified, but what mother wouldn’t be? On one level Ellie was utterly horrified too, yet it was kind of a moot point. She had to try to save Russell. That was the incontrovertible bottom line.
“And I know that scared you. It scared me. But I could have been shot in Chicago or California, too. The world can be a dangerous place. A bad and crazy man was going to shoot Russell. I couldn’t let that happen. If I had it to do over again, I would do the exact same thing.”
Why did she always feel like she was 14 again when she was talking with her mom?
“I know he’s your friend…”
“He’s more than a friend.” Okay, that was a little bit defensive.
“He dresses up in a hairy costume. What kind of grown man does that?”
“It was a job, Mom, and he was really good at it, by the way. Russell is a singer and performer and very talented. He’s also funny and thoughtful and generous.”
“And you love him.” Wow. Dale finally spoke up. And that was a zinger. She didn’t see that one coming. She had a split second to decide whether or not to fess up. No doubt she’d have to defend her position if she did, but what else was new? She’d been on the defensive with her parents since her mid-teens, when Dale came into the picture.
What the hell. Go for it.
“Yes.”
Her mother looked like she was struggling to come up with the right thing to say. Finally, she said, “Are you sure it isn’t just an infatuation? You’ve been in kind of a fantasy world here, haven’t you? He’s been nice to you and of course you’re appreciative. So are we.”
The waiter returned, and they all ordered lunch, Dale and her mother Reuben sandwiches and Ellie a BLT. Ellie didn’t answer the question. They said little as they ate, but everyone knew the other shoe was about to drop. At last, Ellie set her sandwich down, carefully wiped her mouth with her napkin, placed it next to her plate and looked pointedly at her parents. They didn’t know her heart was practically ready to crash out of her chest.
“How I feel about Russell is not the reason I’m going back to California.”
Her mother gasped. “What? You can’t! The job.”
Move in for the kill. Ellie shook her head. “It’s not your job to get me a job. Do you know why I majored in communications?”
Her mother set her napkin down and stared at her almost accusingly. “You were always good at…communicating.”
“I majored in communications because I didn’t know what the hell else to major in. I didn’t care about it then and I don’t care about it now. I’m guessing that’s why I had trouble finding a job in the field. It’s not for me.”
Her mother actually squirmed. Ellie could never remember seeing her squirm. Oh, you’re liking this. “You can find another job in Chicago.”
“Yes, I could.”
Her mother smiled. Dale just continued to observe.
“But I’m not going to.”
“Why? You’ve always loved Chicago.”
“I’m glad I grew up in Chicago. I really am. And I do think it’s a great city. My heart, though, and I’m not talking about Russell…Keep telling yourself that…is in Bella Casa.”
“But…”
“Mary, let her go.”
Wow. Didn’t see that one coming either. She looked at her stepfather, really looked at him. He wasn’t the devil she once thought he was. “Thanks, Dale.”
He leaned over and placed his hand on hers, another shocker. “We just want you to be safe, Ellie. And happy.”
Happy? That could be a stretch. She almost told Head Voice to shut up before she caught herself. Dale had finally extended himself and that’s all she needed was him to think she was telling him to can it.
She smiled, actually finding herself contented in her parents’ presence. “I think we’re on the same page here, or hopefully we will be.”
Her mom didn’t give in easily and tried her best to change Ellie’s mind, but in the end she surrendered. Ellie found a new respect for Dale and her mother. She always knew they loved each other. Now she understood they were good for each other; they listened to each other. Her mother was stronger than she thought, and Dale was kinder. Maybe he did just want to get rid of her, but she doubted it. He wasn’t even upset that his efforts in securing her a job went for naught. Yeah, in her grief for her dad and her teenage hormonal upheaval, she had misjudged him a bit. Okay, maybe more than a bit.
After driving her parents to the airport, with promises to visit them for Christmas, Ellie headed back to the hotel to pack her things. She found Tiffy packing up her things in Russell’s room and told her they’d be leaving in about 30 minutes.
“Oh, hashtag, I’m not going back to Bella Casa.”
“What?” Tiffy was staying in Las Vegas?
“I’m going to France. I’ve always wanted to go to France. Or Spain maybe.”
Ellie sat on the bed. “Are you sure? Do you even have a passport?”
“Spencer is expediting it for me. We’ll stay here until it comes through.”
Expediting. The flighty Tiffy personality wouldn’t even know that word.
Tiffy picked up her bag and Ellie jumped up and followed her out the door. “Spencer thinks I could be a goddess.”
Ellie smiled. “I can see that.” Another couple. Sigh.
That left Ellie making the long drive to Bella Casa alone, the same drive she had made when she moved there almost five years ago. Back then she was alone, frustrated and open to all the possibilities the picturesque town afforded. And now you’re alone, frustrated and what? Open to all the possibilities again, she guessed, since she was about to be unemployed. Oddly, she wasn’t worried about finding a job. She was young, healthy, reliable, intelligent, trustworthy. Now you sound like a Girl Scout.
For most of the drive, she thought about Russell. She went through every encounter they had ever had, starting from the disastrous date with Gawayne at Em’s Hideaway to the endless drive across the desert to constant badgering to the kiss that lit up the sky. And the fight, when he had jumped on Sludge’s back. She thought about his appearance at Brian’s wedding and his support at the hospital when Roger had his heart attack. And his struggling for the gun in Sludge’s hotel room. She was feeling all warm and fuzzy about him, and then she remembered him nuzzling with Tiffy until she thought she’d lose her lunch. He was sleeping with her. While you were locking lips with Brian.
That wasn’t the point. Russell simply wasn’t a one-woman man. He made that more than obvious in Las Vegas, and there were worse things than being alone anyway. You just can’t think of any right now. So that was that. She’d move on. You could just hang out with him. Be friends. No, that would be too hard. And she definitely couldn’t bear seeing him with other women. Better to make a clean break of it. But he obviously cares for you. Not enough. He didn’t stay. Alone again, naturally.