twelve

All the way into Guthrie, Ben reviewed what Gabe had told him. No wonder Samantha hadn’t been looking for a man. It could well be the reason she hadn’t let him or anyone else court her.

He couldn’t blame her, but oh, how he hoped to show her that not all men were like her former principal or the lawyer whose wife couldn’t trust him to work with another woman. She had seen examples of true love in her own parents, in Gabe and Faith, and in other marriages right here in Guthrie. How was he going to convince her that he loved her? That he wanted to build a life with her?

Maybe she didn’t care for him the same way he cared about her, but then she’d said she would let him know when she was ready to court. None of it made sense to him. Especially that she was thinking of leaving here when she’d made a place in this town for herself. She had true friends and people who cared for her, people who knew she wasn’t the kind of woman to seduce a man. The idea was laughable. If she was the type of woman to chase after men, she’d had the opportunity to do that over and over again at Miller’s Restaurant, but she hadn’t. If she needed character references, she had a ton of them, and Ben was sure they’d all be willing to stand up for her, if needed.

But how was he going to convince her of that and get her to stay now, when she was afraid the rumors already spreading about her would follow her the rest of her life? She’d told Faith she didn’t want to hurt their family. But if she went away, she’d leave an empty spot in his heart that could never be filled. Not only in his, but in his children’s, Faith’s and Gabe’s, everyone who’d come to care for her. How did he get that across to her when she was determined to leave?

He couldn’t let that happen. Ben reined Rusty into the yard between the office and the boardinghouse and tied him to the hitching post. He’d take him and the wagon to the stable at the back of the lot later. Right now he needed to see Samantha. Faith must have been on the lookout for him, because she slipped out of the back door and hurried to meet him.

“I checked on Samantha, and she’s coming down to eat a bite. Says she doesn’t want me stressing over her. But she doesn’t know I sent Gabe to fetch you. I’ll leave that up to you to tell her.”

Ben could see the sheen of tears in his sister’s eyes and knew she didn’t want Samantha leaving either. He nodded. “I’ll talk to her. I have no intention of letting her leave if there’s anything I can do to stop her. Sis, you know that.”

Faith nodded. “I do. Now might be the time to let her know how much you love her, you know?”

“I know. I’m not sure she’ll believe it right now, though. But I can try. I’ll do whatever I can to keep her here, Faith.”

“Good, I feel better already. Come on in. I have supper in the warmer, and Gabe is hungry. I love that man. He didn’t hesitate for one minute when I asked him to go get you. He kissed me and went to saddle Midnight.”

“He knows how much Samantha means to all of us. And you mean everything to him.”

“I know.”

Ben was glad to see the light back in his sister’s eyes. He hoped he could keep it there. But he had a feeling that getting Samantha to see she needed to stay and fight wasn’t going to be easy.

He followed Faith through the back door and was glad that Sam hadn’t come down yet. He wanted to catch her by surprise and try to read how she felt about him being there.

“Papa!” Hope turned from the sink. “I was hoping you’d come in this weekend. I’ve missed you.”

Ben hugged his daughter and kissed the top of her head. “I’ve missed you, too.”

Right then, Matt came in the back door. “Papa, I’m glad you’re here! I’d just gone over to the apartment when I heard the wagon come in the yard. It’s good to see you.”

“It’s good to see you, too, son. It’s been really hard not to get into town as often as I want. Thankfully, Homer is better, and I was able to take off.”

Faith set plates down in front of Ben and Gabe when Samantha came into the kitchen.

“Oh! I didn’t know everyone would still be here, I—Ben!”

She was surprised to be sure, and for a moment he could see that she was happy he was there. Then her mood seemed to shift, and her eyes filled with sadness. “I didn’t know you were coming in tonight. And Gabe? Are you just now eating, too?”

“I am. Come join us.”

If Samantha wondered why Gabe was only now eating she didn’t ask, and Ben was glad. He wanted to talk about the situation with her in private. He only hoped his sister and brother-in-law would provide that opportunity for them after they finished eating.

❧

Samantha’s heart couldn’t hurt any worse if she’d been stabbed with a sharp knife. She didn’t want to leave this man or his family. She didn’t want to start all over anywhere. But she didn’t want to bring them trouble of any kind. She had to leave—and the sooner the better.

While Ben and Gabe ate and talked, Faith served up the last of the pie she’d saved for them. In between the few bites Samantha managed to get down, she pushed the food around on her plate and tried to hide her loss of appetite. Why had Ben come in early? Did he know? No. There was no way—unless Faith sent Gabe to tell him. . . .

While Faith poured fresh coffee, Samantha handed her barely touched plate to Hope, praying that the girl wouldn’t comment on her lack of appetite. Thankfully, Hope’s attention was on her father, and she took the plate without commenting.

Samantha was about ready to head back upstairs but was afraid someone would ask if she was all right. She was afraid she would burst into tears if they did. She looked up to find Ben’s gaze on her, and the warmth in his eyes was almost her undoing.

About that time Matt yawned, and Ben said, “Sounds like you’re about ready for bed, son. Sorry I came in late and kept you up.”

“I’m glad you’re here, Papa. But I think I will head back to the apartment.”

“We’ll talk more tomorrow. I want to hear how things are going with you.”

“All right.” Matt yawned once more and headed for the door. “Good night, everyone.”

“I think I’ll go up, too,” Hope said, sidling over to her father and putting an arm around his shoulders. She bent down and kissed his cheek. “I’m glad you’re here, Papa.”

“Me, too.”

Once Hope went upstairs, it was as if a signal of some kind went off. Rose suddenly was exhausted, and Gabe forgot something at the office and asked Faith if she wanted to take a walk with him. Samantha found herself and Ben sitting alone at the table.

He lifted his cup to his lips and looked at her from over the rim. Then he set the cup down and asked, “Could I talk to you outside? No telling if someone will be coming back in here, and I’d like to talk to you in private.”

Samantha couldn’t think of what he needed to talk to her about that would make him sound and look so serious unless he somehow knew about today and—

“Sam?”

“Yes, of course you may.”

“Let’s go sit in the swing on the front porch. Not too many people come calling this time of night.”

“All right.”

Ben stood and pulled her chair out for her. “And let’s go out the back door. That way we won’t have the boarders wondering what we’re up to if any of them are still in the parlor.”

Samantha nodded and followed him out the back door. Lights from inside lit the way as they went up the porch steps and settled in the swing. Ben set it in motion with his boot and let out a deep sigh.

“What is it, Ben? What is wrong?”

He looked over at her and stopped the swing, propping his forearms on his knees. “Faith sent Gabe to the farm to tell me what happened earlier today. I’m so sorry, Sam.”

Samantha wanted to be angry at Faith and Gabe for pulling Ben away from his work, for getting him involved, but she couldn’t be. That they cared a great deal about her was evident by the man sitting beside her.

“I wish they hadn’t pulled you away from your work just—”

“I’m glad they did. Sam, none of this is your fault. Anyone who knows you would never accuse you of seducing anyone. You aren’t that kind of woman, and you shouldn’t feel as if you have to run from a lie.”

Samantha’s heart swelled to near bursting as she realized that Ben didn’t believe the lie. “But it will only get worse if I don’t go, Ben. That woman was ready to spread what she’d heard far and wide. And if she believes the lie, other people will, too. I don’t want your family hurt. I don’t want Faith’s business to suffer because of me.”

“Samantha, we’re all adults. None of us are afraid of some gossiping old biddy. People in this town know Gabe and Faith, and a lot of them have come to know you, too.”

“But Ben, don’t you see? It’s still only my word against hers. . .or his. And Jennings could keep it going as long as he wants to. And then what if—” Samantha couldn’t bring herself to say the words, but all she’d been thinking about for the past few hours was how those lies could hurt any children she might have one day. She wanted children, but how could she put them through that? How could she live with that fear hanging over her head?

“What if?” Ben asked. “What is it you are worried about?”

“I don’t want those lies to hurt anyone I care about.”

“But if everyone knows they are lies—”

“Lies can still hurt, even when one knows what they are, Ben.” She shook her head.

“Gabe said you’re planning on leaving. Is that right, Samantha?” Ben turned to her and lifted up her chin so he could look into her eyes. “Is it?”

“I don’t know what else to do, Ben.”

He sighed and ran a finger along her cheek. “You could stay here and let me court you. Better yet, you could marry me.”

How could a heart flood with joy and sorrow all at the same time? Samantha loved Ben Thompson with all her heart, had loved him since the day he saved her life. And she would do anything for him except what she thought might hurt him. “Ben, I won’t let you marry me only to save me from all these lies.”

“That’s not why I’d be marrying you, Samantha. I need a wife. I’m lonely.”

He needed her. Her heart turned to mush. And who better to take care of him than someone who loved him as much as she did? Who better than someone who loved him with all her heart and who loved his children, too? But was that fair to him? Did he love her? Would he regret it one day? Could he love her the way she wanted to be loved? Or did he feel responsible for her because he had saved her life?

And even if they had no children together, what about his children, Matt and Hope? All this could hurt them, too. Her mind was in a whirl, and she knew now was not the time to make a decision. “Oh, Ben. I—thank you. You seem to always be there to come to my aide, to try to save me in some way. But I don’t think I can let you do this. I—”

“Sam, I’m not asking you to make a decision right this minute. Please don’t say no until you’ve had time to think about it and pray about it. Most important right now—don’t leave town until we talk again. Please, promise me you won’t.”

Samantha was much too tired to argue with him, and she didn’t really want to anyway. Besides she owed him so much. She couldn’t turn him down.

“Sam?” His fingertip grazed her cheek again, taking her breath away. “Please don’t do anything until we can talk more about this.”

She gave a brief nod. “All right. You are right. We both need to think long and hard and pray about what I should do next. I won’t leave until we’ve had time to do that.”

Ben bent his head and grazed her cheek with his lips. “Thank you.”

That did it. Samantha caught her breath on a sob. How could this man be so wonderful to her?

He tipped her face up, and his lips touched hers, softly, tenderly, before he leaned back, stood up, and pulled her to her feet and into his arms. “It’s going to be all right, Sam. It is, I promise.”

For one brief moment, she allowed herself to believe him.