Without inner peace, it is impossible
to have world peace.
— The Dalai Lama
One of the most important and lofty goals of the wellness journey is to attain peace — inner peace, “the peace that passes all understanding.”
But one of our early discoveries as we begin the wellness journey is how much we are at war with ourselves. We are angry over our mistakes, we resent our weaknesses, we resist fulfilling our highest aspirations. We want wellness in all areas of life but we don’t like the price.
Resolution of these conflicts resides in understanding and practicing the non-negotiable Law of Personal Peace.
Four of my close friends have gathered with me on our deck. We are considering the subject of satisfaction. “There simply has to be more to life than getting up, going to work, coming home, and going to bed,” my friend Bud is saying. “I’ve tried every self-help book ever written. I have so many doubts and questions. Frankly, I’m discouraged.”
“I’m with you,” says Manny. “I’m terrified of getting cancer again. I know I need to make changes in my life, but look at all my responsibilities. I can’t walk away from my business. I gotta figure out how to put up with it — I gotta make it happen.”
“Satisfaction?” says Chester wistfully. “I could probably count on one hand the number of times I’ve felt satisfied.”
Joe, the senior of the group, shakes his head and says, “I wouldn’t know satisfaction if it came up and slapped me in the face. What do you mean by satisfaction anyway?”
These four people are all men of accomplishment. They have received honors in their work, they volunteer in positions of service in their community, and they are active in their spiritual quests. Yet not one could say he consistently knew and experienced satisfaction. It’s a scene repeated in countless lives around this planet.
The wellness journey holds out the high promise of inner peace. To live knowing this powerful yet subtle quality is to be so attuned with the spiritual power of compassion and love as to be counted among those closest to living to their Divine potential. But what is this personal peace? And how can we find it?
Personal peace is that inner, ethereal sense of emotional and spiritual well-being, the deep tranquility that comes when we can disconnect from disquieting or threatening thoughts.
Subjective, but very real, personal peace is the grounded and connected feeling when we let go of worry, pain, stress, and fear and become mindful of life’s myriad wonders.
Personal peace is the knowledge that all is well, an understanding that God has everything under control, even when our world may seem ready to explode. It comes when we mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and sometimes physically disengage ourselves from painful, dis-ease-producing entanglements with another person, with conflicts, or with our responsibilities.
Personal peace becomes a reality when we shift our focus from problems we cannot solve to a higher vision of hopefulness. We transcend. In this shift we allow sorrow and worry to fall away. The bliss that remains is peace.
My mother was a world-champion worrier. She would constantly make herself upset by ruminating over the “what ifs” of life. What if the car runs out of gas. What if there’s not enough money? What if my children are in an accident. What if we get sick and end up in the hospital. What if, what if, what if. Her worries kept her awake as she fought chronic insomnia. No matter what glorious event was happening in her life, it was always tainted by her worries. To her, life was mostly fearful, the future always foreboding. For her there were few moments of personal peace.
Choosing to focus on regrets of the past can also rob us of personal peace. These are the “if onlys” — if only I had better parents, then my life would have turned out happy. If only I took better care of myself, then I wouldn’t be sick. If only I lived in a different part of the country. If only, if only, if only. If you want to be certain of never knowing personal peace, start reciting the if onlys.
If we intend to successfully travel the highway of wellness and reach the destination of personal peace, we’re going to have to dismantle some of these personal roadblocks; fear of the future and regret over the past are only the primary ones. The full wellness journey means we’ll also have to move past the potholes of envy, the detour signs of impatience, the dead ends of willfulness, and the ice-covered bridges of rigidity. But travel we must. The wellness journey is not taken in a parked car.
The way of peace? Through prayerful meditation, a forgotten and misunderstood discipline. Prayerful meditation is an excellent way to develop increased awareness in all areas of life. But it is essential in attaining and sustaining personal peace.
When we are caught up in worry or attack or defense, we are effectively absent without leave from our potential for wellness. The well person isn’t at home. For example, we may be driving, become enraged over the traffic, and entirely miss the beautiful sunset. Instead, we focus on inner scenes of worry and fear.
Prayerful meditation helps us shift our attention to the present moment and to control of our mind and spirit. It brings us back home. Now we can let go of our cares and become open and aware of the divine presence. I know of no other effective way to attain personal peace.
Prayerful meditation has become an extremely important part of my life. I set aside a time each day for this activity. And when I am home, I have a special place where I meditate. I have a favorite rocking chair in my home office. Next to the chair is a table with an old beat-up brass lamp sitting on it. I also have my favorite books there, and a few special personal remembrances: a framed note from Norman Vincent Peale, pictures of my family. This is my “nest.” When I close the door and sit in this chair, I become automatically attuned to the experience of peace, of the divine presence.
I meditate once a day for approximately twenty minutes. I’ll increase the frequency or the duration if I am particularly harried. The techniques I use are simple and basic; anyone can do them. Through mindful awareness, I allow my mind to relax. I consciously let go of negative emotions. And then I connect with God, becoming aware of the loving presence that suffuses all of life. Many times I’ll silently repeat the word peace.
This experience almost always allows me to find the peace I seek. It’s a point of control, a way to naturally tranquilize my tensions and to be in harmony with our world.
It’s my way of implementing the Law of Personal Peace. Other ways exist, to be sure. But all have the common bond of a conscious seeking to calm the mind, to center the spirit, to know personal peace.
I’ve been privileged to teach wellness in many places, and I always attempt to include a special section on personal peace. One of the most widely accepted ideas of personal peace ties its attainment to passivity and relaxation. I suppose it’s because we associate meditation with the ideas of becoming relaxed and passive.
One woman in Montreal said, “I thought personal peace meant a state of low energy and rest, a time when I avoid any exertion.” A young man from England remarked, “Personal peace? I thought I’d need to spend all my time in quiet meditation.”
In fact, the opposite is true. A deep sense of personal peace brings with it enormous energy. It is a body/mind/spirit state from which our highest, most effective actions flow. Personal peace creates a state of being that provides maximum energy for whatever we choose to do. And that energy is focused and effective because it comes from a peaceful center.
At times progress on the journey is measured by inches instead of miles. We struggle. The serenity is gone. We find nothing for which we are grateful. Our ability to give and receive love in mutually enhancing and empowering ways seems lost. We’re angry or depressed. Guilt may haunt us. We feel overly responsible for others. We want to give, we attempt to help, we try to love. But our travels seem to lead us down one blind alley after another. The peace we seek eludes us.
Even day-to-day living can thwart personal peace. Driving a car can become a matter of intense competition, even hostility. Arguments over defective appliances, utility bills, and bank statement errors are commonplace. Domestic quarrels, even between loving and compassionate couples, are inevitable.
All this takes enormous effort. The inner conflicts drain our resources. Peace is lost. We become so immersed in resolving this inner warfare that we have little energy to do anything more in the world than get by. And there are moments when even getting by is difficult.
The problem is not that we lack energy, even though we may feel tired and weary. We do have the energy. The problem is that it’s fragmented. We clearly need to find a firm base for our wellness. The Law of Personal Peace is that base.
So we declare an inner truce. We momentarily allow ourselves to withdraw from the raging battle. We take time for “the quiets.” We become aware of our battles and exhaustion.
This awareness puts us at a critical crossroads. One path leads back to the battle. The other way leads to detachment, to release and to personal peace.
Hopefully, we often choose to detach. We practice prayerful meditation. As a result, we gain perspective. We realize our inner conflicts are not eternal. But we must not remain detached from our duty to act. The energy that once fueled our raging internal battle now can be used for creative living. With practice, we become focused and serene. Our emotional and spiritual energy then skyrockets. And we stand ready, recharged, renewed for service to our world.
Personal peace generates energy. Our increase in effective physical, emotional, and spiritual energy is the result of our discovery of inner peace. And its more effective use means that we are less likely to waste our precious resources on worry, regret, blame, and indecision. This is a giant step toward wellness on the highest spiritual level.
As we progress along the wellness path, the law of Personal Peace helps us become true peacemakers, not in the usual sense of composing the quarrels of other people or nations. But instead, we become peacemakers when we bring about serenity in our own souls. Then we are filled with a positive power, a spirit that energizes. And as that energy is used for good, it increases. It will meet all our needs, and flow to help others.
I believe personal peace is the vibrant energy that can heal the world, that can make peace between nations a reality. Peace certainly cannot be brought about by superficial negotiations, temporary agreements, or signatures on pieces of paper. Since the beginning of recorded history, tens of thousands of peace treaties have been signed but have not been able to sustain peace. Clearly the lesson is to look deeper, to seek resolution of conflict personally from the inside out. I believe personal peace and personal peace alone can bring lasting harmony in the world.
Simple acts, really, are the things that change our lives and our world. The conscious pursuit of peace is one of those. If you’re serious about your wellness journey, become a peacemaker. Release. Renew. Recommit. Make friends early with the non-negotiable Law of Personal Peace.