…and the greatest of these is love.
— Saint Paul
We are each given but one life. Once and only once can we live it.
Each life contains no promises. Only possibilities. It is the great privilege of each person to pursue his or her highest potential. This pursuit, undertaken with sincerity, is the true wellness journey.
What then is the ultimate object of this pursuit, the goal that transcends all others, that surpasses health, wealth, and power? I believe it to be the consistent practice of the Law of Unconditional Loving.
Medicine tells us that health is the greatest goal. But health is not the greatest thing in life. Greatness exists in places where health is absent. In fact, good health may lull us into complacency and lessen our interest in attaining the greatest goal.
Academicians tell us that the wise use of knowledge is the highest order of living. Learning, wisdom — these are the supreme objects to covet. But wisdom does not capture the high ground. Many who claim wisdom fail the test of true greatness. A false sense of wisdom may blind us to the highest pursuit.
Politicians say the quest for liberty is our supreme calling. Freedom, the pursuit of happiness — these are what our hearts yearn for most. But all the freedom in the world will not take the place of the benefits of the ultimate quest. The greatest goal is able to thrive in slavery as well as freedom.
Social and political scientists tell us to see good works as the supreme accomplishment. Helping others, service without regard for self — these are the goal. Yet all the good works may simply leave us tired, our true potential unfulfilled. Good works often result from the pursuit of the highest goal, but they are not the goal.
Capitalists say economic freedom is our highest calling. If we could just implement the market system worldwide, all the other benefits of modern society would be possible. But even a cursory examination shows the capitalists’ ideas to be wanting. Supreme happiness does not equate with economic wealth. The greatest attainment is possible for both the rich and the poor.
Religion tells us that the greatest thing to possess is faith. Faith in God, in ourselves, in our fellow humans. This assurance, trust, and belief in our connection with the Ultimate is what we are after, say the clerics. Sadly, the pursuit of faith has a checkered history that is long on wars and oppression, short on peace and personal compassion. In the name of faith, atrocities have been committed on large segments of society. Faith is not the supreme attainment.
Medicine, academia, politics, social philosophy, capitalism, even religion all consistently miss the mark. If we base our lives on their precepts, we, too, will miss the mark of our highest calling.
The greatest pursuit is not good health, unsurpassed wisdom, economic surplus, political freedom, or even faith that can move mountains.
It is the daily practice of the greatest of the non-negotiable laws of wellness, the Law of Unconditional Loving.
Unconditional, nonjudgmental loving. This is our aim, life’s single highest and most rewarding pursuit.
I like the word loving better than love because it tends to communicate the action required to make love real.
The ideal of unconditional loving has been pursued through the centuries, sometimes with brief success, mostly without. Some people claim that it is unattainable, outside the reach of human capability. Others acknowledge the potential of unconditional loving but fail to personalize its mandate.
Yet living the message of unconditional loving is very possible indeed. This greatest non-negotiable law can be our unfailing guiding light if we will ask but one question: What is the loving thing to do?
Asked consistently and responded to with courage, this one question can transform a life, save a marriage, shape a child, reignite a career, even change the world. What is the loving thing to do?
All success, all well-being, all self-improvement has its basis in an unfathomable spirit that sustains us even when we may be least aware of it. That spirit is love.
The law’s question — What is the loving thing to do? — is another way of asking, What is God’s way of doing this? In the answer to this question we find supernatural power for living.
Some people do not believe there is a God. I do. But I realize that when people think about God, we very often have vastly different ideas. I’ve found it most meaningful to think of God as the Ultimate Source, creator of all, giver of life, always present in every comer of creation, in every moment of time.
I also believe that as human beings, we cannot attain God’s perfection. But I’ve also observed that to the degree to which we align ourselves with the principles found in the Laws of Wellness, God’s potential will then be released within and through us, enabling us to come closer to our Divine Design.
The highest expression of Divine Design is applied love found in loving relationships between people. Not the erotic love we see on television and in the movies but love rooted in a decision to serve. It is a dynamic state of consciousness, a giving, creative flow, and a harmony. It’s an acceptance of the human condition as perfectly imperfect. And it is a choice to love without regard to any conditions; no “ifs” are allowed in this, the greatest of the laws.
I have seen cancer respond to the decision to love, and have personally experienced such a response as well. After a sincere and thorough effort at forgiveness, I made a decision to love, as best I could, without any condition. Suddenly the cancer and a thirty-days-to-live prognosis appeared in a totally different light.
My decision to practice the Law of Unconditional Loving meant I could love people who only weeks before had seemed unlovable, even pathetic. My aim was not to reduce my suffering or postpone my imminent death. Rather, it was to live life now, to make the most of the moment. Only unconditional loving could fulfill those objectives.
I didn’t have to get in touch with my anger, my fear, or my despair. I’d discovered those emotions already. But there was little value in knowing what I was feeling unless I could transcend the feelings. And I found my ability to transcend rooted in love.
Despite the physical pain, despite my deep fears, despite the fact that my spiritual foundations had crumbled, I now came to understand that it was my sole job to love. In that discovery were the seeds of wellness on the highest level I had ever known.
When I became completely willing to allow God’s love to pour through me, my life changed. I figured that as long as I was breathing I was here to be a channel for God’s love. God works through people. I was a person. God could work through me! It was in this very decision that I discovered the basis for massive positive change.
I’ve come to believe there is nothing in this world as important as unconditional loving. To allow the gradual and ever-increasing release of that love is my most important task. No higher call exists. No greater satisfaction awaits.
I practice what I call a “Daily Act of Loving.” At least once a day, typically just before lunch, I make it a discipline to reach out in unconditional love to another person. The value and results of this practice have changed my life. That one simple decision to act with unconditional love affects every decision, every relationship. It greatly improves the quality and the effectiveness of my entire day, including the restfulness of my sleep. I believe my Daily Act of Loving gives me the strength to handle the difficult challenges of life. And I commend to you the simple practice of extending unconditional love to another person at least once a day, every day, for the rest of your life. You’ll heal your world in delightful and surprising ways.
Yet it is important to understand that love’s power can be trivialized. “Love heals” has been a popular notion for centuries. It has enjoyed a recent resurgence that has had an unfortunate side effect. Many people who do not get well, in the sense of a clinical cure, are made to feel guilty that they were not able to care enough or demonstrate ample enough compassion to effect healing. For them, love does not heal. Love is a cruel master.
This “guilt-tripping,” this illusion that we have total control, misses the point entirely. It damages the individual and it relegates unconditional loving to a technique, a modality in health and healing. Love is much more than a prescription. There is no formula that universally links spiritual perfection and clinical cures. Those who make such claims are misguided.
Rather, love transforms suffering — a crucial distinction. That transformation may include a clinical cure; it may not. Cure is not the standard for judging. For even the process of death is transformed by unconditional loving. We can leave the world filled with joyful memories, an example of how to love. That’s healing of the highest order. Arid death cannot be counted, then, as failure.
Love creates. The Law of Unconditional Loving calls for a fundamental shift in our conceptual framework of reality itself! The law’s power extends far beyond our personal wellness or our individual lives. By our response of love, we become co-creators of a world with endless possibilities.
By our words, thoughts, actions, and prayers, we co-create our life. Our inner processes do indeed affect our physical world. We influence events, relationships, opportunities, financial opportunities…. We create.
The most powerful, beneficial form of creation is unconditional loving. It offers a way to think, to be, to experience life. When a spirit becomes saturated with unconditional love, a new reality is created no matter what the circumstance.
Illness is not the only path to this realization. Every person’s life has in it a crisis point. Unconditional loving applied to the crisis always — yes, always — improves the circumstances. The conditions may not change so much as our response to them. And in that change lies all the difference.
Seeing life through the lens of unconditional loving frees us from the constraints of the “ordinary.” No longer are we locked into using outdated, outmoded, toxic, and questionably effective solutions to problems. The automatic response of attack-and-defend can be dropped. And in its place, a decision to be a channel for unconditional goodwill and love can give us new and effective resolution. A Daily Act of Loving starts this whole miracle.
Clearly, the ordinary thinking of traditional solutions, be it medical thinking, political thinking, or religious thinking, is no longer expansive enough to embrace solutions to the problems of this world.
The Law of Unconditional Loving holds the best, the only, answer.
The Law of Unconditional Loving is actually spirituality in motion. Even if we have difficulty in accepting the existence of God or of some form of divine intelligence, we can demonstrate and accept for ourselves the idea that the extension of love to another person can change two lives: the life that receives the love and the life that does the loving.
What does this tell us? What instruction does this give us? How then do we live our lives? At a minimum, it suggests that to live unconsciously, to live unaware of how we are thinking, feeling, loving, and thus creating, is a real threat to our health and greater well-being. Learning to live and love consciously, developing the skills of awareness and insight, releases a person from having to feel victimized or controlled by life’s challenges. Love is personal power. Loving transforms ordinary human consciousness into a force that changes our very world.
Think of a person you know who is dedicated to truly loving. The presence of such a person is unmistakable. She or he resonates with a spirit and communicates an energy that says, “People are welcome and safe here.” Love knocks down all the usual barriers.
This is love at its best: an attitude of nonjudgmentalism, an acceptance for all of life. People with spirits dedicated to loving are awakened to the truth that they are co-creators with God.
Practicing the Law of Unconditional Loving is a full-time job. There are times when one may regret setting foot on this path, because this awareness does not necessarily make life easier. It does, however, make life better.
The path of love is not an intellectual exercise. It is living and breathing, a constant challenge, ever changing, always requiring discipline and forethought. If we choose the path of love, we must always walk it. For if we don’t, we no longer live life to our potential.
No matter what the situation, no matter what the challenge, we are now called to love without condition. Our very essence, our soul itself, is now committed to the cause.
The Law of Unconditional. Loving is a tough taskmaster. Once we taste the fruits of unconditional loving, we cannot go backward, we cannot become “unaware” ever again. We may make a detour or two. We may lose our way. But we cannot release awareness of the power of unconditional loving once it is our own. It becomes ours for all eternity, And it has its demands.
The Law of Unconditional Loving demands first that we see ourselves as spirit. We are co-creators, and through the choice of the spirit of loving, we fashion our lives. Love demands that we create with wisdom. We must keep our thoughts, words, and emotions clear and honest.
The Law of Unconditional Loving demands that we know all the laws of wellness. They are our power tools. The more we know, the more empowered we will become.
The Law of Unconditional Loving is wellness in the most inclusive sense. All the other laws connect through this greatest of laws. Unconditional loving embraces the practical essence of the entire wellness journey.
Loving without condition precludes us from ever blaming again. Blaming serves no purpose. It robs us of the power to change. It has no place in our lives. To blame another is to blame ourselves. Accountability, yes. Blame, no.
Unconditional loving forces us to examine all the artificial barriers in life and discard them. Boundaries between nations, attitudes that maintain that certain people are better than others, even self-concepts of independence — all are obsolete. They have no meaning. They serve only to separate people from one another. The life of unconditional loving has no boundaries. Allegiance belongs to loving itself.
The Law of Unconditional Loving transcends time and space. Love travels in an instant. It crosses all boundaries, real and perceived. It lasts forever. Love demands that we constantly conduct quality-control checks on ourselves. When we feel that too much negativity is present in our system, we must heal ourselves immediately. Remember, we are the co-creators.
The path of unconditional loving does not lead us through the woods of violence. It demands that we heal our actions, attitudes, words, habits, and thoughts. The law demands that we give up violent politics and weapons, and all violent human interactions, replacing them with soul-nurturing counterparts. Swords into plowshares must become our new commitment.
The Law of Unconditional Loving requires us to release ourselves from the artificial desires that control our lives: drugs, alcohol, negative habits, fears — anything that causes us to lose the capacity to love. We must constantly re-create wellness by releasing our lower wants and seeking greater levels of spiritual growth.
The Law of Unconditional Loving requires us to accomplish all this while being gentle with ourselves and others. A wholesome discipline is what we seek. Loving through force of will alone, through determination without compassion, is a form of self-inflicted violence. Value your wellness. Gently honor yourself.
Unconditional loving demands that we keep our focus. We must compare ourselves with ourselves — not with others. In our practice of spiritual growth, our own commitment to grow in love is the only measure of progress. Learn to be still and hear the inner voice of the soul.
Above all, the Law of Unconditional Loving demands that we practice loving. We must do so daily, hourly, minute by minute. In walking that path, we find the great joy of the ultimate call and reap the greatest rewards of wellness.
It’s the Law of Unconditional Loving, the highest of the non-negotiable laws of wellness. Through its practice, one reaps the great rewards of health, wisdom, and compassion and becomes an instrument of peace.
We need this law today as never before. Many times in our history, the world has been blessed with people of vision, people who could clearly see that the massive amount of suffering in our world is unnecessary. When we see through the eyes of unconditional loving, we will find solutions to our global problems. Then we will discover how to be global beings, sharing one planet, sharing one way of life while honoring our diversity.
May that new world order be born. May we all be healed. May we each know wellness and may the planet know wellness. And may we enter the twenty-first century as a global community practicing the Law of Unconditional Loving. That is wellness of the highest order…for ourselves and for the generations to come.