Monday 6th January
Lydia didn’t return to work on her first day back after Christmas, calling in sick. She wouldn’t speak much on the phone, and Ruby didn’t push it. She knew well enough what sickness Lydia suffered and decided to give her time. Lydia would still need her job, and as Ruby felt partly the cause, she would be lenient. Lydia was not only a work colleague, but through Steve, they’d become closer friends. It pained Ruby to think they were both hurting.
Even Ruby hurt. She missed her brother. It felt like losing her mum all over again. Though she told herself frequently she was being silly because Steve was alive and well in LA, his normal life resumed – which was far from normal for Ruby. She would see him again, and he was at the other end of a phone. Mum was not. Although she’d spent the majority of her Christmas being comforted by Brett, it had still been crap. She’d longed for a family Christmas, and it hadn’t happened.
“Have you heard from…Steve?” Alice knocked on Ruby’s office door, her glossy, chestnut hair in a chignon and make-up immaculate, ready for another day working in the spa. Her question had been hesitant, as if still unsure to call him Steve or Stuart. She probably felt some guilt, that the messy departure of Steve was partly her fault, that unwittingly she’d let slip about Ruby’s brother being at the hotel to Terry. Ruby tried to reassure Alice that she didn’t blame her. Terry had duped Ruby once, so he could easily have done it again with Alice. He knew how to use his charm to get what he wanted. It didn’t stop the whispering and rumours circulating the hotel, and Ruby was grateful of Alice’s loyalty. Of all the people, Alice understood why Steve had disguised himself.
Ruby shook her head. “No more than I’ve already told you. He arrived in LA unscathed after a night slumming it in Dublin airport, and his agent and PA have been working to minimise the damage.”
Callum stood beside her and nodded while Alice replied, “Okay, well, you know where we are if you need us, Ruby.”
“Yeah, Ruby.” Callum winked. “And tell him, I miss him.”
“Ah, Callum, of course. I’m sure he’s missing you, too.” Ruby giggled. “We all miss him. Thank you.”
The week plodded on, with still no sign of Lydia, so Ruby shifted the reception duties around. Fortunately, Maxine wanted more shifts. On a daily basis, Ruby phoned Lydia but it always went to her voicemail.
“Lydia, it’s Ruby. Look, just phoning to see how you are. Call me if you need to talk. Your job is safe, I understand you need some time off. We’re all thinking of you and want to see you back at the hotel soon.”
Give her time, Ruby thought, putting her phone down, trying to shake off her own doldrums. The way Steve had suddenly left before Christmas, plus January’s miserable arrival, had made it harder for her to concentrate on work. Ruby had not been in the partying mood for the New Year, she hadn’t even bothered watching the fireworks at midnight on the telly.
January was a depressing month most years, but this year was exceptional.
***
Friday 10th January
“Come on, Steve, cheer up!” Karl handed Steve another glass of champagne he’d swiped from a passing waiter. Another Hollywood party, another celebration in the industry. Only Steve didn’t feel like celebrating. The richly furnished room buzzed; live music, familiar faces, glitzy frocks, tuxedos and champagne. Steve usually enjoyed a party, but tonight it was closing in on him, as if he was stuck in a lift.
Lydia wasn’t answering his calls. He hadn’t seen her in over two weeks, hadn’t heard her voice. The asshole who said it’s ‘better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all’ obviously hadn’t really loved and lost in Steve’s opinion. Steve would rather not be feeling this miserable. He’d rather live in ignorance of how love felt. However, he would agree absence made the heart grow fonder, because he couldn’t stop thinking about her. As soon as his life quietened down, and there was a lull in his schedule, Lydia would be the first person to pop into his thoughts. He missed her. But was she missing him, or was she back to her life, life before Steve? Had the drawings in her sketchpad changed from him to a new person, a new obsession?
Did she hate him, because he’d lied?
“I’m sorry, Karl,” Steve said, sipping his champagne, trying to focus on his agent, and not everything else going on in the room. “Maybe I shouldn’t have come tonight.”
“No, you needed the night out, besides I have some good news.”
“What news?”
“I’ve managed to get you on a chat show in England. You look like you need to go back.”
“When? How soon?” Steve couldn’t believe his ears. He’d wanted to fly back as soon as he’d landed to make things right with Lydia again, but unfortunately, it was all down to his schedule when he could return. But now it looked like Karl was making his wish come true. “Yeah, you could say I have some loose ends to tie up.”
“Don’t get too excited yet. I’m trying to pull a few strings as we say.” Karl nudged Steve and winked. “What’s the point of being in this business if we can’t?” He laughed heartily, Steve found it infectious and started smiling, his spirits lifting. “They had someone drop out, and I figured you could do with some positive publicity. I’ll let you know as soon as I know more.”
“Thanks, Karl. You’re a good friend.”
“And a great agent,” Karl chuckled. “You know, all those years ago, when I first saw your portfolio, I knew you had potential to be big.”
“I’ll always be grateful, Karl,” Steve said.
“Hey, you and I go back a long way. I like you. A lot. Now stop before we start getting mushy.”
Steve relaxed a little, maybe it was the champagne, or maybe because he wasn’t very good at staying in a bad mood. Plus, he was in Hollywood, and his career was important to him. He needed to mingle and network, not mope about feeling sorry for himself.
“Right, I need to catch up with an old friend.” Karl gestured to a couple of men in tuxedos, deep in conversation. He patted Steve on the back. “Have some fun, and I’ll catch you later.”
Steve nodded, resolved to enjoy the rest of the party. However, he didn’t expect to bump into the one person he wasn’t sure how he’d react to; Erica Kealey.
“Steve,” Erica said, holding the hand of her new boyfriend – fiancé if the press were to be believed. Assholes doing whatever it took to be the first for a story – had they invaded Erica’s privacy to get the scoop? “It’s good to see you.”
“Erica,” Steve said. “You look great.” And she did, in another stunning outfit that accentuated her slim figure. His insides jolted, but it wasn’t for Erica. Seeing Erica heightened how much he missed Lydia and wanted her by his side.
“Thank you. You look fabulous, too,” Erica said, politely. “This is Marco.”
Steve shook Marco’s hand, smiling, his best dazzling Hollywood smile. Marco was welcome to Erica. He didn’t feel jealousy as he feared he might. In fact he felt happiness for them.
“I understand you were in England for a while,” Erica said. Was she prying or just making conversation?
“Yeah, yeah, I wanted to catch up with my sister, Ruby.” And find the love of my life after you’d broken my heart. But he was over Erica now. Really over her. But would he ever get over Lydia?
He certainly wasn’t donning another goddamn disguise.
***
Sunday 12th January
The house was dark, and Ruby’s landline phone was ringing. Initially she cursed, thinking she’d forgotten to put her mobile on silent, then, realising it wasn’t her mobile, she’d hurried downstairs, still bleary-eyed. Fumbling, she switched on the lights, squinting at the initial brightness, then shivered because the house was cold. The phone silenced its annoying ringing as she picked it up.
“Hello,” she mumbled sleepily, with a slight conscious effort to hide her impatience.
“Oh, crap, sorry, Ruby, but I really needed to talk to you.”
Ruby caught the time on the clock in the hallway. Two a.m. Technically, no longer Saturday night, and more like Sunday morning.
“It’s okay.”
“She won’t answer my calls, Ruby. She won’t answer them.”
Ruby rubbed her eyes, trying to wake up at the distressed sound of Steve’s voice. If he was calling Lydia at this time of the morning too, she could understand why she wasn’t answering the phone.
“If I’ve blown this… Shit, I don’t want to have blown this. I think about her every goddamn day.” Steve’s American twang had returned. “I love her, Ruby. I love her. Lydia’s the one.”
“Steve, she’s been off work the past couple of weeks, she’s not answering my calls either, or returning them. We’ve got to give her time.”
“Go round. Talk to her. Tell her I love her. I’ll be back soon. When I know more details I will let you know, but you’ve got to make her see that I love her.”
“Okay, okay.” Ruby blinked, trying to clear the sleep out of her eyes.
“Shit, I’m sorry. Are you okay? How’s things? Glad you’re in this house.”
“I made you a promise. Though occasionally I do go and check on Daphne.”
“Send Daphne my love. And how’s it going with Brett?”
Nodding with the phone tucked to her ear, Ruby sat on the bottom step of the stairs, using her free arm to hug herself. “It’s going good. Actually, I don’t know what I would’ve done without him. He’s been my rock. He helped me take down all the decorations and tidied the house, too.” She sighed. “I miss you.”
“I miss you, too.”
“However much I love hearing the sound of your voice, can I go back to bed now? I have work today.” Ruby said and Steve chuckled. “I’ll try and call in on Lydia soon and I’ll let you know how I get on.”
“Okay, thank you.”
“Can’t promise anything though.”
“I know. But please try.”
***
Wednesday 15th January 2014
Ruby pressed the doorbell, then rattled the letterbox.
“Lydia, I know you’re in there. Please let me in,” she shouted through the letterbox. Unless she’d gone for a walk or caught the bus, Lydia’s classic VW Beetle was parked outside her house.
Ruby stood outside the door, stamping her feet and waving her arms, patting herself. Why’d she pick the coldest night in January to do this?
“Lydia, I’m not going anywhere. In fact if you don’t answer this door soon, you’ll have to call an ambulance, I’m freezing my nuts off out here…If I had nuts that is…” Ruby trailed off. “Oh, please let me in! It’s dark out here.” And Ruby didn’t like the dark, although at half five in the evening it wasn’t so scary.
Ruby sighed thankfully as she heard the front door being unlocked, and Lydia’s face peering around the door. A tabby cat shot from out of nowhere behind Ruby and darted inside the house. Lydia looked pale and sad, not wearing a trace of make-up, and yet her skin still looked flawless. A twinge of jealousy hit Ruby – she always felt she had to at least wear mascara and lip gloss – but she could see why Steve had fallen for Lydia. Ruby, deep down, had always hoped he would.
Still rubbing her hands, and stamping her feet to emphasise the cold, Ruby said, “Hi, Lydia, do you mind if I come in?” Lydia looked reluctant. “Please? We are friends aren’t we? I need to talk to you.”
Lydia sucked her bottom lip and nodded. “Of course.”
They got the niceties over, the small talk, while Lydia made two mugs of tea. Then, perched on the sofa, cradling the tea to defrost her hands, Ruby decided to just go for it.
“You know why I’m here, don’t you?”
“Ruby, I’m not sure I’m ready to talk about this. I feel like a fool.” Lydia stroked her tabby cat.
“I want to say I’m sorry,” Ruby said, “because this whole thing had been my idea. Lydia, you have to believe me, you were seeing the real Steve.”
“But what if I don’t want the Hollywood lifestyle?” Lydia replied. “What if I won’t fit in?”
“You will. Or he’ll keep you out of it. Other celebrities do, don’t they?” Alice was probably the best person to answer that. Yet, Steve had managed to keep Ruby and Mum out of the limelight all his career. “Look, he didn’t think he’d find an ordinary, nice girl, really, he’d always be thinking ‘do they like me for my personality or is it my looks, fame and fortune?’” Ruby said. “I convinced him to strip it away – to be Clark Kent, hide his superhero. Lois was never interested in Clark – you realise?”
“I’m not Lois Lane.” Lydia’s raised voice made her cat jump off her lap.
“I know, but please believe me, he loved you. He loves you! You need to give him a chance. Please, Lydia, he’s miserable without you.”
Lydia sighed heavily and drank her tea. “I’m miserable without him, too.”
“If it’s any consolation, I miss him too.” Ruby could empathise. She loved Steve unconditionally; he was her brother after all. And these past couple of months had been great, catching up, bringing the family together, able to talk about Mum, and even Dad. And most importantly, Ruby wanted Steve to be happy. Wherever he was in the world, it felt important he be happy.
“You know, I’ve watched a couple of Stu, I mean Steve’s films. Just to check, to see how I missed it. How I couldn’t have realised who he really was.”
“Look, I was part of the deceit too, and the others didn’t guess either.”
“Alice did.”
“Alice had help from Terry.” The mere thought of that man made Ruby angry. “It was only after his probing that she put two and two together. So you don’t have to feel stupid about this. This wasn’t why Steve did it. He really enjoyed making friends with all of you at the hotel. To get to know you properly – you know, under normal circumstances.” Ruby hugged the warm mug, thawing her fingers. “Please find it in your heart to forgive him. If you’re miserable then maybe you’re meant to be together? It wouldn’t harm to try…and if you don’t like it, it doesn’t work out, you can come back to your crappy job and friends in Bristol.”
“It’s not crappy. You’re not crappy.”
“Thanks.” Ruby laughed. “But you could follow him around the world, and be supported to do your illustrations. Steve could even help—”
“I don’t want his support – or his connections.”
“Sorry, sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. But think about it. You could be with the man you love, not doing this shitty job in Bristol that you hate, so that you could solely concentrate on your drawings. And by the way, this hasn’t come from Steve. I’m saying this. Think about it.”
“Ruby! I’ll become the person he was trying to avoid. The reason he stripped away that lifestyle and donned a stupid disguise. It looks like I’m only interested in his money.”
“Yes, yes, good point.” Ruby held her hands up. God, she really needed to convince Lydia. And she wasn’t doing a good job. “But the point is, you fell in love with him thinking he was poor – didn’t you? You wouldn’t really care less about his money if he turned up broke tomorrow.”
“No. In fact, I want Stuart back.”
“Then think about it. Maybe answer his phone call the next time he rings, please?” Ruby stood up, handing Lydia her empty mug. “And come back to work – the others aren’t judging you. At least come back to be reminded how shit it is, before you make a decision.” They both laughed.
“I enjoy my job.”
“Yeah, yeah, but you’d rather be drawing.”
“Yes, and I haven’t done much of that either lately. I’ve lost my inspiration and my muse.”
Ruby squeezed Lydia’s shoulder sympathetically. “Thanks for letting me in, and for the tea. Please think about what I’ve said.”
***
Wednesday 22nd January
Ruby had been staring up at her calendar on her office wall when the phone rang. There was only a week left of January; she hadn’t seen Steve in over four weeks, since disappearing out of the door Christmas Eve and into the throng of photographers to a limo whizzing him away. She hadn’t spoken to him since he’d begged her to get in touch with Lydia.
What was he doing in the big old Hollywood world?
“Hey, Maxine, who is it now?”
“You’ll love this caller,” Maxine said, without waiting for Ruby’s response, she put the call through.
“Hello, you’re through to Ruby Fisher. How may I help you?”
“Hey, Roo,”
“Steve!”
“Just calling to let you know I’m flying into the UK tomorrow to do some interviews. I’ll be on a chat show live on Friday evening,” Ruby listened as Steve spoke, his American twang sounding natural, “Anyway, can you get Lydia to watch it?”
“I’ll try Steve, I’ll try. Will I see you?”
“If you watch the show, you will.”
“No, silly, are you going to come to Bristol? Will I see you in the flesh?”
“I can’t promise, here is my plan…”