As infants we are maturing. Just as a newborn baby begins to live in the awareness that it is no longer in the womb but born into a new sense of self, we emerging Universal Humans leave behind our former self-consciousness and become aware of our Essential Self much of the time. An infant experiences comfort and peace when held in the arms of its mother. Its panic is calmed as it learns to breathe, nurse, eliminate, and coordinate its newborn self. It begins to smile and feel at home in the “new world” beyond the womb.
So, as we mature as infant Universal Humans, we gain a sense of assurance in our new identity beyond the womb of self-consciousness. The Essential Self begins to come in the whole way. We gain a feeling of peace and joy as the local selves relax their fears and let go of their efforts to control.
The Story…
As I spent time in the Inner Sanctuary, contemplating the exquisite qualities of the Essential Self, and as I either allowed problems to pass through or considered them as gifts and sought their meaning, the Beloved began to come in further, to substantiate within myself, to incarnate.
In this process, I could physically feel this deeper self as a vibrational field penetrating through my heart and down into my solar plexus, where the knot of anxiety of local self's concerns seemed to dwell like a cold and resistant tumor of trouble, regardless of external situations. The Beloved “warmed the cockles of my heart,” as they say, and even began to melt the cold, hard knot of clenched emotions in the solar plexus.
I noticed that, as the Essential Self came in further through the attention of the local self, various aspects of the local self relaxed their grip on the conscious mind. In fact, much to my delight, I found that my compulsive local self was lifted up into the vibrational field of the Beloved.
In the process of incarnating, we discover that the sense of separation, which the ego so often feels, is actually not real.
As I have said, the fundamental human problem out of which other problems spring is, I believe, the illusion that we are separate from each other, from nature, and from Spirit. As we continue to place our attention on the Essential Self, the illusion fades. We remember our deeper identity most of the time. This identity, of course, is not a personal ego but a personal Essence, a unique expression of unconditional reality, or God.
In the Inner Sanctuary, it felt as if a disturbing pattern of my local self—the compulsive thoughts—was being erased quickly by the vibrational field of the Beloved. The local self couldn't quite remember what it wanted, for in fact, it didn't really want anything anymore! Why would it, when it was beginning to enjoy unconditional love, which is the inner ambiance of the Beloved?
The experience was like coming into the warmth after having been out in the cold. There by myself, on the rainy mornings in my little condo, I was experiencing a natural “high.” Only instead of taking a substance to induce a high, I was becoming the new substance myself! This natural, sustainable high, I realized, was becoming available as a new norm.
I felt as though I was falling in love with my Essential Self, an inner love affair. A deep and genuine experience of happiness, independent of my work, infused me, and this startled me. The “starter button” of compulsive thoughts—Do this! Do that!—commanding me at six in the morning and before I went to bed at night, stopped stressing my nervous system. The workaholic aspect of my local self subsided. For the first time in a long time, I felt at peace.
I had not been this happy since I was a child, before my mother's death when I was twelve. Over the years, I had scarcely realized this, placing my attention on my life's purpose rather than upon the evolution of my self. True, my vocational purpose was my pleasure, but, as I said, my work had been taken over by attachment and compulsion. Now, at last, there was a shift of focus from doing to being, a shift that eventually frees vocation from the egoic attachment, allowing it to come forth unimpeded by anxiety and self-criticism, as a flow of creativity.
As the inner process took hold, the outer work began to take shape effortlessly. Plans that I had been working on for years began to manifest easily as I spent time in the Inner Sanctuary. The work on the conscious evolution curriculum flowed. I was literally organizing every major concept I had ever had, complete with books, references, and quotes from key thinkers illuminating the evolutionary story from the Void through the Big Bang and into the present and beyond. Professors and academics became interested. People were excited and awaited each module.
I was no longer feeling cut off but in fact was becoming connected at a deeper level than I'd ever experienced before. (This experience foreshadowed the complete repatterning of my life that occurred later in the process, demonstrating how inner integration leads to outer manifestation of our deepest values and aspirations.)
I continued the journal writing and began to describe the situation in my morning letter to “Dearly Beloved.”
The purpose of this writing is to bring Essential Self through. I am not to write anything for others until I can sense, touch, feel, and be that steady Presence. I am to become substantial as myself. This is known as bringing yourself “through the veil.”
I now understand what is happening to me. There was in me such an overriding compulsion to “fulfill my mission” that I continually put the purpose of being my Essential Self second, not first. Now, by grace, I have finally taken the time and space to both bring my Essential Self through the veil and to write the conscious evolution curriculum.
Even as I wrote, I felt a flash of the old anxiety pulling at me. There was a little tug at the center of my solar plexus that seemed to say, “Get to work…it's 8:30 a.m.!”
The Inner Guide responded:
When the pull of anxiety comes, let it be. Be still. Put this purpose first. Do not act upon the temptation to “get things done” at the expense of nourishing, flourishing, nurturing the Presence that I am. When you feel the anxiety, just let it be.
This is the initiation. On the subtle planes, it is the process of transubstantiating yourself through communion with the divine.
I had never “Put This Purpose First.” The desire to fulfill my mission, given me by the inner voice, compelled me to action, in such a way that I did not fully remain connected to the Source of the guidance. That has been the crux of the disconnection, which must be healed for this initiation to complete itself.
I wrote:
I humbly surrender the temptation to manifest in the world for the reality of being the manifestation I am seeking and unfolding the expression from that vantage point. This is my calling now.
I was seeing how my personal experience related to the bigger picture of conscious evolution and to the quantum shift many of us are undergoing. Since our world is evolving, so obviously are we.
Experienced more widely and to their fullest, the Emergence Process, and other similar processes in various forms, may well engender an actual alchemical transformation on a planetary scale. When we learn to stay in this state over time, we will live in a continuous, sustainable resonant field of co-creation, creating a new culture for a new humanity—a Universal Humanity—that reflects our higher state of being.
The Guidance…
In the Inner Sanctuary, we continue to place our attention on our Essential Self, which we experience as a vibrational energy field, the radiant Presence of the Beloved within. This presence enters our inner awareness, releasing stress and anxiety, filling us with a gentle joy, lightheartedness, confidence, and a growing trust in the process beyond the confines of our rational minds. When an addictive thought pattern arises in the Inner Sanctuary, such as “I am a failure,” it is quickly erased in the vibrational field of the Beloved already established.
Now we enter a new phase in our development. When the local self, by its own intention, repeatedly places its attention on the Essence of its being, we begin to vibrate at a higher frequency. The Essential Self seems to change our very physical substance from density to lightness, from contraction to free-flowing energy. We experience our Essence as substantial. It feels as though the Essential Self is incarnating, entering our body/mind and transforming it as our local self resonates to the higher frequencies of the Essential Self. We are entering the next stage of the continuing incarnation of the divine in human form.
A. H. Almaas, the revered spiritual teacher and founder of the Diamond Approach, in his seminal work Essence (1986), tells us that Essence is “not only a concept, an image, an archetype, or a state of mind. Rather, it has precise and definite physical characteristics.” Essential Self incarnation is, in other words, really transubstantiation—a change in the substance of our being.
Put This Purpose First
The key practice at this stage is to continue putting the purpose of being Essence first, not second. This does not mean we stop doing everything else in our life. It simply means that whatever we are doing, we keep our primary focus of attention on the Beloved within. In the Inner Sanctuary, continue Essential Self contemplation and practice radiating the warmth and presence of the Beloved within yourself. Do this especially if a local self acts up and you feel anxiety, or lack of self-esteem, or rejection. Radiate the presence directly upon the wounded self, like a mother embracing a frightened child, comforting and calming.
All day, every day, as you leave your meditation, make of your life a continuous process of placing your attention on the presence of the Essential Self. The local selves will begin to experience a deep attraction, a desire to remain in the presence of this beneficent being, rather than to stray outward in anxious efforts. The magnet of your attention begins to draw to it wayward thoughts. They will continue to occur, but you will find that as long as you keep your attention on the source of your inspiration, the local selves will release their grip on you. You will begin to feel a new freedom from anxiety, pressure, and compulsions.
Close the Door
As was described in the previous step, local selves have a way of escaping out the back door of the Inner Sanctuary. Just as I am contemplating Essence, a disturbed local self will send in a thought—”We must get busy writing the curriculum!”—that begins to pull my attention away from my focus on Essence. That prickly feeling of irritation clouds the Inner Sanctuary. Before I know it, I am interrupting my time in the Inner Sanctuary, dialing a phone call to some professor!
For me, it became necessary to declare, without equivocation, that there was absolutely nothing local self could do, on its own, that would bring peace or real satisfaction. No matter what the temptation—one more book, event, or success—it will not lead to fulfillment of myself or the work, if done for the purpose of trying to fill up the emptiness inside. Whenever a local self attempts to get out the door to satisfy itself through manipulation of the external world, it finds it irrevocably closed. No escape! This sounds overly absolute, perhaps, but I found it worked.
Journal
Once you enter your Inner Sanctuary, take time to feel your Essence. Love it. Allow it to substantiate further and further. It will become more real as you place your attention and focus on it.
Describe what you experience as your Essential Self begins to incarnate. What does it feel like when it comes in the whole way? What is your lived experience of this higher frequency?
What can support you in placing your attention more continuously on the presence of your Essential Self? What are the beneficial effects of putting this purpose first?
Continue to communicate with your Essential Self. Often I simply asked, “Dearly Beloved, what do you have to say to me today?” I stop thinking and hold a poised mind. I begin without having any idea or thought as to what to write. Even as the first word comes into my mind, I do not know what is coming next.
This is good. The attitude of surprise is helpful and fun. The writing flows like an inner script that unfolds when attention is placed on it. The words hold the code of our own evolution. Often they express wisdom far beyond the rational mind.
We learn to anticipate the flow of guidance from the Essential Self, recognizing that this wisdom is our own. Essence is like a wonderful spring of living waters. It fills up daily and wants to be expressed. If it is not expressed, it will signal us by depression, disease, or addictions. The word wants to come forth. The inner voice wants to be heard. Now is the hour of our Emergence!