‘I don’t understand, Mary. Why can’t you come home for Christmas?’
‘It’s just not possible, Gwyneth. Ellen still isn’t well and there are other things I need to see to here.’ Mary watched Ted angrily sweep the last of the glass onto the shovel. She knew he was furious with himself that he hadn’t moved fast enough to catch whoever had thrown the brick. Ellen was only relieved the children were safely tucked up in bed. The window was covered with cardboard. Replacing the glass was an expense they could do without.
A thought suddenly struck her. I couldn’t afford the train fare to Wales if I wanted to go. She’d been secretly worrying about money for weeks. With no job, no chance of getting a job with a baby on the way, because she was convinced she was pregnant, she didn’t know what she was going to do.
‘Peter misses you as well, cariad.’ There was a distressing break in Gwyneth’s voice that made Mary close her eyes against the tears. ‘Mary?’
‘I’m here, love. What has he said?’ Had he dared to tell Gwyneth what he’d done? Had he told her that she wasn’t going back to Wales, that they’d finished?
‘Nothing, cariad, that’s just it, he won’t talk. I know you’ve had a quarrel of some sort, isn’t it. I can tell. But I don’t understand.’ There was silence between them. The line crackled and hummed. When Gwyneth spoke again her voice was tentative. ‘What about the wedding, cariad? I thought it was all sorted but then the minister told me on Sunday that Peter had said it wasn’t happening until next spring? That you’d set a date when you came back?’
How dare he? A flash of anger almost made her say, I’m not coming back, but she couldn’t do that to Gwyneth, not yet anyway. She waited.
‘You didn’t say anything about that to me.’
‘No. I’m sorry, Gwyneth, it was all such a rush to get here and then so much has been happening. I should have kept in touch more.’ Mary leant her head against the wall. The back door was open and Ted was in the yard. She could hear him shovelling the glass into the dustbin.
When Mary looked up, Ellen was watching her from the kitchen with a worried look on her face. ‘Are you okay?’ her sister mouthed at her.
Mary nodded, smiled reassuringly. But she wasn’t. By rights she should now be in a frenzy getting ready for the wedding, her days full of excitement and anticipation, instead of this gaping emptiness. If she could just get through the next few days, get past the twenty-third, she’d be all right. Who are you kidding? she thought. That day would be doubly hard, the day she should have married and Tom’s birthday. She wondered when that stab of grief, that he wasn’t here anymore, would lessen. She forced a smile into her voice. ‘Your lovely outfit will keep,’ she said.
‘I’m not bothered about that, cariad, I’m worried about you.’
‘Don’t be. Please, Gwyneth.’
‘When I asked him if he was coming to you for Christmas, he said he had too much work to do in the village.’
Mary fielded the hidden question in her neighbour’s voice. ‘Will you be all right, Gwyneth? What will you do at Christmas?’
‘O, iawn, I’ll be fine. Ivy Morris at the fish shop is on her own. She’s asked me to go to her for the day.’
‘Good.’ There was a clamour of voices in the kitchen. Mary looked down the hall again. Linda had brought William downstairs. Now she was walking backwards holding onto him and leading him across the room. He was chuckling which was making her laugh as well.
‘Listen, Gwyneth, I need to go and help with the children’s breakfast. I’ll ring soon, I promise. Just look after yourself, eh?’
‘Shall I ask Peter to telephone you?’ Gwyneth spoke quickly. ‘He’s always welcome to use my telephone.’
‘No, it’s all right, love,’ Mary butted in, ‘he telephones from Alun and Alwyn’s place sometimes.’ She forced a smile into her voice. ‘I’m sorry, Gwyneth, I really must go. Like I’ve said, don’t you worry, everything will be okay.’
It wouldn’t. Mary slowly put the receiver down. She placed both palms on her stomach, feeling a slight roundness where before she’d been flat. The cold apprehension that tightened her skin made her feel sick. She was pregnant. And there was no father on the scene.