Chapter Fifteen

 

 

“There are so many dicks. So many dicks.”

Jax agreed with Robert’s horrified whisper as he stood on the grand lawn at the Mountain and Valley Naturist Community. It was late afternoon and everything was ready for him to walk into those imposing mountains. According to Solo this was the best way to walk into the national forest land unnoticed by any prying eyes. The Naturist Community was private and everyone here had been vetted carefully. There had been only one new member accepted in the past year and he was apparently solid.

And by “naturist” they really meant a bunch of naked people. The community practiced a nudist lifestyle.

“How do they keep their dicks so pasty white? The white guys, I mean. The black dudes have appropriately colored dicks, but how are the white guys dicks so white when they walk around in the sun with them swinging like that. Not that guy. His dick is smart. It burrowed in away from the sun.” Tucker’s eyes were wide as he looked around.

“Could we not stare at the dicks?” Henry sputtered the question out as though they’d finally found something that shocked the guy. “It’s considered impolite to stare.”

Ezra shook his head. “I don’t know, man. It’s not like a locker room where you tend to put a towel on as quickly as possible. These guys are playing horseshoes with their penises hanging out.”

“This is a lifestyle,” Henry said, sounding as prim as a guy who’d killed a shit ton of terrorists could sound. “It’s not something to be mocked.”

“I wasn’t mocking,” Robert replied. “I certainly wouldn’t mock that guy. That’s not a dick. It’s a third leg.”

Jax was fairly certain Robert was talking about the guy who owned Trio. He was talking animatedly with the man who ran the community, and there was no way to politely avert one’s eyes from a cock that big. How did the guy stand up when he had an erection? It had to take most of the blood in his body.

“I thought this would be hotter,” Owen said. “Where are the women?”

“The ladies are having tea,” Henry explained. “Nell found a lovely Darjeeling when we were in Colorado Springs and she’s sharing it with her women’s group.”

And if the women’s group gathered here, they were likely all au naturel.

Owen stood a little taller. “I like tea. And I’m Scots and everything. I could bring an international flair to the ladies’ group.”

“I can bring a sharp knife to your abdomen,” Henry replied, his eyes going all John Bishop on Owen.

“Or I could go back and play poker with Dante and Sasha. Sasha thinks he’s smart but he always farts a little when he’s bluffing. The man has guilt gas.” Owen slapped Jax’s shoulder. “Don’t get eaten by a bear. Or eat stuff that could kill you. Or get lost and end up in Canada.”

Owen hadn’t spent much time on geography. “I promise.”

Tucker turned serious. “And if you have to make the decision between that data and your life, well, I know I would rather have an alive brother than information about a bunch of people I don’t know. Be safe out there.”

Robert joined them. “I’ll be monitoring the conditions as much as I can. I wish you would let me go with you.”

This was the best course of action. “You need to be seen around town, and someone needs to figure out where Green went. Concentrate on tracking him.”

They’d discovered Levi Green had left his motel room. The manager had said he hadn’t bothered to check out, simply packed up and driven away in his Benz. He was out there somewhere and he would be watching. Or he had someone else watching.

He knew what Ezra was worried about. Not that Ezra had mentioned his concerns to the rest of the group, but Jax had briefly overheard him arguing with Big Tag. Ezra thought his ex-wife had set up that whole scene with Green the previous evening in order to throw him off the fact that she was working with him. Ezra didn’t trust his ex-wife as far as he could throw her, or so he’d said. Jax wasn’t sure about that. He sided with Tag. Big Tag had told him he thought Solo was trying to get her man back. He’d said he knew what a woman in love looked like and told Ezra to not be surprised if she’s spent years anally plugging herself as a beautiful way to remember their love.

Sometimes he did not get Big Tag’s humor.

Robert shook his hand. “Will do.”

Tucker was next to step up for a big good-bye, and Jax had the sudden feeling he was like Dorothy ready to click his red shoes together. He’d talked to his own personal lion in Owen. Robert was totally the Tin Man, and there was Tucker. The Scarecrow. He absolutely would miss Tucker most of all.

Where was Buster when he needed him? That pup could be his Toto. Come to think of it, his hiking boots kind of had a red tinge to them.

Kayla would be proud him using his newfound pop culture knowledge.

“Do you have everything?” Tucker fussed over him, checking his backpack. “I put the MREs in. The good ones. No meatloaf. It’s disgusting. And I gave you the last of the good jerky. Now remember to boil the water before you put it in the MRE. Should I have included a thermometer? How will you know if the water reaches the proper temperature?”

“Because I have eyes and can see it boil.” Damn, Tucker needed a girlfriend. Even the blow-up kind. He’d heard there were robotic women on the way. He would order one super needy and let Tucker expend all his mother hen on her. “I’m good. I’ve checked my pack twice.”

“I’ve checked it, too. He’s got everything he needs, and I made sure he knows how to use it.” Solo strode up, carrying a rifle in her hands. “And here’s this, as advertised. It’s got a scope on it.”

Ezra held a hand out. “I’ll check it first.”

She sighed. “There are no bugs on it and no locators. It’s just a rifle. There are wolves out there and bears, though the rifle will probably just piss off the bears.”

“I’ll see about that,” the boss vowed, stepping away.

Solo nodded Henry’s way. “Did you find that map you made?”

“I have it,” Jax replied.

The way Henry explained it, when he’d first moved to Bliss, he’d surveyed the area around his cabin thoroughly to a mile and a half radius all ways. The area Jax was interested in was roughly four miles due east of Henry’s place, but because of where he was going in, he had to hike along a good portion of the area Henry had mapped. He’d gone over all of it including getting back to the place where Solo had told him to camp the first night.

In the morning he would have roughly half a mile of mapped territory and then it would be all him and a compass and luck. Not that he’d had much luck lately.

He would be alone and could be for days. He wasn’t sure if that would be a good thing for him or if he would spend the whole time going over and over his mistakes with River. At the end of this mission, he would either walk out of the woods with what they needed in his hands or he would likely die in the forest.

It was funny, but he cared about dying now. He hadn’t when he was in the facility. He’d survived because some instinct told him to. Even while he’d been living in The Garden, he hadn’t truly given a crap if he lived or died. He’d enjoyed having friends and watching movies with Kay and trying new food, but the core of him had been empty, a vessel that didn’t know what it meant to be full.

Sometime during the day, he’d realized it was okay that she couldn’t love him. He loved her and that was what he’d needed. He’d spent all his time and energy on forcing her to see him, but seeing her, really knowing her, had been the best part of his life.

“Jax and I went over everything,” Henry said. “He’ll be good for tonight and tomorrow morning. After that, he knows the direction he needs to go. He’s got a grid map and he’s going to search as thoroughly as he can. You’ve given him markers to use.”

Solo had spent time in the woods. She’d described a lot of the territory to him and a few of the markers he needed to look for to know he was going in the right direction.

“I still wish I could have gotten River to at least talk to him,” Solo said. “She knows that forest better than anyone. A lecture from her would have made me feel better about sending him in alone.”

“I’ll be fine.” The way she’d spoken made him wonder. “Did you try to see her? Was she okay?”

He already missed her like he’d lost a limb. He could feel her close, but knew she was gone. He wondered how long it would take before it truly settled in his bones that he wouldn’t hold her again.

“I went by her place but her Jeep wasn’t there,” Solo admitted. “When I went to the office I was told by Andy I wasn’t welcome anymore, and Ty had already boxed up my desk. I know she was in there, but I can’t force her to talk to me. Although I do actually have a small interrogation facility in California.”

Jax stared her down. “You are not taking River anywhere.”

Solo’s face went all innocent. “It’s nice. It’s done in soothing colors and everything. You know for a dude who spends an awful lot of time in dungeons, you are judgey.”

He didn’t care what Solo thought of him as long as she didn’t think she could force River to do something she didn’t want to. “River is out of this. We leave her alone now.”

He slid a look Tucker’s way and his friend nodded. Tucker would make sure no one went after River in his absence. He could count on Tucker to ensure she was safe.

Tucker’s face suddenly screwed up in a mask of horror. “Oh, I didn’t want to see that much of Big Tag.”

Well, at least they knew where Big Tag had been spending his off time. And he knew why Ezra hadn’t been worried about the newest member of the community. Big Tag walked up completely naked, no shame whatsoever.

“You guys ready?” He put his hands on his hips as he surveyed the group.

Solo gave him a grin. “Someone remind me to high-five Tag’s wife. Damn.”

Ezra frowned, pointedly ignoring his ex. “Dude, where are your pants?”

Big Tag did not care. It was obvious in his casual shrug and the way he let it all hang out. “Back in the locker room. Charlie’s coming in for the weekend. She should be here soon and I wanted to greet her properly. Alex and Eve are watching the kids. Kala and Kenzie are going to ‘help’ with the new baby.” Tag snorted. “I can’t believe they bought that. Anyway, we’re going to have some fun while we’re here. So Jax, don’t fuck up and make me leave my lounge chair. Charlie and I will either be here, in Talbot’s playroom, or hanging in the bunker with Mel and his girlfriend Cassidy. I think Charlie can handle Mel’s tonic. He doesn’t believe me. Do you think if she does it will prove to him that I’m married to an alien? Huh. I hadn’t thought about that. Either way, I think it’s going to be amusing.”

“You know you’re here to work, right?” Ezra asked pointedly. He handed Jax the rifle back, having obviously decided it was device free.

Tag held out an empty hand. “I don’t see a paycheck there. Do you?”

Jax secured the rifle to his pack. Tag had done way too much for them. Tag had saved them and housed them and given them something to do. Hell, it had been Tag who had given him a name. He stepped up, holding out a hand. “Don’t worry about it. You and Charlotte have fun. I’ll take care of this part.”

Big Tag shook his hand. “Be careful out there. Keep that walkie on you. You have a sat phone if you run into trouble. Charlie and I will monitor it. Don’t forget to hook it up and charge it on the solar charger.”

“Yes, Dad.” Though he was fairly certain whoever had donated the sperm that created him probably wouldn’t have hung around his son with his dick swinging.

A chuckle came from Tag. “Yeah, that’s precisely why I’m bringing my wife up here. I’m way too much in dad mode and she’s got so many kiddos hanging off her she needs to remember she’s a woman, too. I also think having Charlie around town will sell the story that we’re about to pull up stakes better than anything. Levi might believe I think there’s nothing dangerous happening because I brought my wife in. He’s an idiot. The dangerous stuff is why I bring her in. If the shit hits the fan, I like having my Charlie covering my back.”

Hearing the way Tag talked about his wife made him miss River. They’d only had a couple of days together, but she’d found a place in his heart. Yeah, he hadn’t known how dumbass he would sound. Even in his head.

And he didn’t give a fuck. River was important to him. When he was done with this job, he would find a way to watch over her. He couldn’t be with her, but he could still care for her. He could make sure she was okay.

Solo watched him as he hefted his backpack over his shoulders. “I wish you would change your mind. I have a pack in my SUV. I can come with you right now.”

But this was his journey. “I’ll be fine. I think I used to do this. I’m not afraid of the woods. I think I’ll be good out there. It’s weird but sometimes we know how to do things we knew from before.”

“Like muscle memory?” Solo asked.

“Sometimes it goes beyond muscle memory,” Ezra replied.

“We’re fairly certain Tucker worked in some part of the medical profession,” Tag added.

“Yeah, like the evil part.” Tucker put a hand on Jax’s shoulder. “I’ll see you soon. Robert and I are supposed to go into town and have a beer and talk to someone named Callie about how depressed you are and how you won’t come out of your room.”

Robert chuckled. “Yeah, the big guy over there who owns Trio told us she’s the best about getting the gossip flowing. It would be like telling Big Tag at Sanctum.”

Tag frowned, his eyes flaring, and then he calmed and nodded. “Yeah, that’s accurate.”

Solo turned back to him. “I still wish you would let me go. Even if you come from a background where you’ve hiked a lot, it doesn’t mean you know these woods. You need someone with you.”

“I think he’s got someone,” Ezra said. “You can stand down. I don’t know why she changed her mind, but she’s got this.”

Jax turned to see what Ezra was looking at and he saw her, his world narrowing to one woman. River walked toward him, a big pack on her back. She wore dark green pants and her hiking boots, a white tank covered with a plaid flannel shirt. Her dark hair was in a high ponytail. She was more beautiful than any woman he’d ever seen.

Andy and Ty walked along either side of her. Andy had keys in his hand and Ty was carrying Buster. The puppy started to wriggle and squirm and bark as they got closer. River nodded and Ty let the puppy down.

It was weird how happy it made him to see that ball of fluff run his way. He’d bought Buster to impress River, but he’d gotten caught in the trap of caring for another creature. He knelt down and swore the dog had grown in the day since he’d seen him last.

He picked the puppy up gently, looking into his eyes. “Hey, buddy. Did you miss me? Did Mom take care of you?”

River was here. Something infinitely warm settled deep inside him. She’d come when he needed her, even when she was angry with him.

He cradled Buster to his chest, letting the puppy lick him in a fury of doggie affection. That was when he saw River’s eyes go wide and realized she’d caught a glimpse of Big Tag’s…well he couldn’t call it Little Tag. That did not suit the monstrosity Tag was wielding. It was also Sean Taggart’s nickname and he doubted the badass chef would be happy to share it with Tag’s dick. Jax moved in front of the big guy, cutting off River’s view.

“Nice work,” Tag said under his breath. “Use the time you have with her. You can convince her. And be safe, man. I’m going to go. I’ve got a wife to impress. I’ve still got this body even after three kids.”

“I don’t think that’s how the childbirth thing works,” Tucker said.

“Don’t tell Charlie,” Tag replied, his voice trailing off as he strode back to the horseshoe pitch.

Solo’s head shifted. “That man looks just as good leaving.”

There was no way to miss the way Ezra turned a brilliant scarlet. “It looks like you’re in good hands, Jax. I think I’ll leave so I don’t mess up Solo’s view.”

Tag was right. Ezra’s butt was super hurt.

Solo watched him leave, but quickly shifted her attention to River. “I’m glad you changed your mind.”

River’s hands were tight around the straps of her pack. “I’m not here to make things right between us. Don’t expect forgiveness or some grand reunion. I’m here because it’s important. Jax, I’m not getting back together with you.”

“You lied to her,” Andy said, his tone snide. “I tried to talk her out of this, but she’s stubborn.”

“What Andy is trying to say is you should know if you do anything to her out there, we’ll come after you,” Ty finished.

Both of River’s male friends were looking at him like he was some kind of serial rapist looking for his next victim. He ran his hands over Buster’s fur, waiting for the rage to start. It always seemed to be there, that volcanic emotion threatening to burst forth at the earliest opportunity. Especially when someone looked at him like he was nothing. Not this time. They were watching out for her. He got that.

Funny, he hadn’t gone after Levi Green, either. He should have joined in with Ezra, pounding his fists on the guy, taking out all that anger, and yet rage hadn’t been the emotion he’d felt.

She’d changed him. Or rather caring for her had changed him.

Tucker was getting his “don’t fuck with my brother” face on. Jax shook his head. “It’s all good. I won’t try anything. I’m grateful she’s willing to guide me.”

“I’m doing it because I read that file on you,” she explained.

Solo’s eyes went wide. “Where did you get a file on him? Is Levi back? River, you can’t believe a thing he says. He’ll twist the truth. It’s what he’s good at.”

“Mr. Green isn’t the one who gave me Theo Taggart’s file,” River explained.

He’d read Theo’s file. When they’d been rescued, one of the first things required of each of the former captives had been to make report of everything they could remember about what happened to them. They’d then read each other’s files. Theo had been Dr. McDonald’s golden boy, the only one who hadn’t been carefully selected. McDonald had chosen Theo for emotional reasons.

He didn’t envy Theo for his past. He did envy the man’s bright future with his wife, Erin, and his son, who’d been born while Theo was in captivity.

“Then who gave it to you?” Solo demanded. “Taggart? If Beck is passing around classified files, they will come after you all.”

Henry had the dippiest smile on his face. “I wondered why she insisted on going for a ride alone. It was my Nell. She can’t stand to see two soul mates separated.”

“This is serious.” Solo’s head dropped back on a groan.

“Yes,” Henry replied. “It is. If she’s still trying to bring people together, there might be hope for us.”

River moved closer to him as Solo started to argue with Henry about the misuse of classified documents. “Do you think there might be a cure out there?”

“No,” he replied because he would never lie to her again. “I don’t think Dr. McDonald was at all concerned with cures. She wanted us like this. What I might find is research that could lead to a cure, or I hope I can find files on us.”

“She was very detail oriented,” Robert said, his tone solemn. “She would have known where each subject came from and have a comprehensive history on each. If we’ve got family, their information might be in that lab.”

“And if we know more about the therapies and drugs she used on us, we might be able to figure out a way to bring back more of our memories,” Tucker explained. “We’ve all started having flashes. I think she couldn’t completely eradicate that part of the brain without losing more than she wanted to. She needed her subjects to remember things like how to speak a language, how to do daily things. I think she severed connections. But that doesn’t mean the memories aren’t still there.”

“And you think someone else might try to get this information.” It wasn’t a question. River stared up at him with somber eyes. “They could start the program again.”

“They could make more of me.” And that would be a shame. That would be dangerous. He’d been dangerous, and the thought of another hundred men like him out in the world kept him awake at night.

Her eyes closed briefly but when she opened them, he could see the will there. “Then we should find this place. But I’m serious, Jax. This is not about you and me.”

“If I am what you say I am, if I was using you, then you have nothing to worry about. I’ve got what I want. I have you guiding me. I don’t need anything else from you.” It occurred to him that Tag was right. She was here. She’d come back, and it hadn’t all been about fighting for what was right. She wasn’t willing to risk her life merely because she was trying to save some unknown generation of people who might or might not come up against Dr. McDonald’s vision.

She’d come for him. She’d come because she’d needed a reason.

He had no doubt that she would keep her distance, protect her heart, but deep down she couldn’t let him risk his life alone.

“And if you’re not what I think you are?” She finally met his eyes and he could see the trepidation there.

“If I love you, if I did everything I did because I wanted you and nothing else, then you should go home and let me go alone because I’ll try my hardest to win you back. I’ll do it because my life has been short and you’re the first thing that made me want to live. You are the sun in the sky, River. If I’m that man, you’re in trouble.” He had to warn her. It would be smarter to simply agree with everything she said, but he wasn’t doing that to her. Of course, she had given him an option. “But then you know who I am so you should be safe enough.”

She went still and he worried he’d pushed her too far, but she took a long breath, as though coming to a decision. “I do know who you are and I know what I’m doing. Let’s go. We’re wasting daylight.”

She took Buster from him and gave the pup a cuddle, whispering to him that she would be back and he shouldn’t mess up Ty’s place too badly. She kissed the top of his furry head and passed him to the man who would watch over him while they were gone.

And then she walked off, following the path that would lead them into the woods.

His own personal yellow brick road.

He nodded to Ezra and his friends and followed.

It was time to see if he could find his way home.