THE PEOPLE IN MY LIFE made this book possible.
I am so grateful for my editors and the eam at Brazos Press. Katelyn Beaty believed in this project, guiding me when I needed it most. Melisa Blok showed me where I should say more and helped me know when I had said enough. This book is infinitely better because of you both. Brazos Press has been a joy to work with, from beginning to end. Thank you.
I could not have completed this project without the support of my Baylor colleagues. Larry Lyon, dean of the Baylor Graduate School, gave me space to write even though I was a newly minted associate dean. Barry Hankins, chair of the Baylor history department, gave me freedom to focus on this book ahead of other projects. He understood the importance, and he stood with me. Thank you, Barry. And, of course, my writing group colleagues, Kara Poe Alexander, Leslie Hahner, and Theresa Kennedy, honed the skills I needed to write this book. For ten years you have written with me. For ten years you have made me better. Leslie, thank you for the concept of shape-shifting.
For the past twenty years, I have relied on the assistance of archivists throughout the UK. For several of the manuscripts referenced in these pages, I am especially grateful for the assistance and patience of the reading room staff at the British Library in London, the Weston Library in Oxford, and the library and archives staff at Longleat House in Warminster. I am also grateful to the Louisville Institute and their financial support for this project.
It was my friends Kim and Brandon, Karol and Mike, Jennifer and Chris, Donna and Todd, and my Baylor colleague David, who walked with me through some of the most difficult days of 2016 and 2017. You helped me heal and gain perspective without growing bitter. The Conference on Faith and History gave me a rich community when I had lost the community of my church. It has been such a privilege to serve as your president. Although I do not know her personally, Sarah Bessey’s Out of Sorts brought comfort to my soul at exactly the right moment.
This book would simply not exist without my Anxious Bench community. Christopher Gehrz, Kristin Kobes Du Mez, Philip Jenkins, David Swartz, and Andrea Turpin gave me the confidence—professionally, personally, and spiritually—that I needed to write the blog posts that grew into this book. John Turner, it was you who gave me the idea for the title. I am thankful also to Patheos for granting me, as with all their authors, the intellectual rights to my articles.
This book is for all my students. But it is especially for Lynneth, Liz, and Anna. You were with me on that terrible weekend in 2016. You gave me the courage I needed to be braver than I ever knew I could be. And Tay, you started this journey with me. I am so glad I can show you how it ends. Thanks also to Katherine and Liz for all your editorial assistance.
This book is also for the professor who gave me a chance in 1997. Judith, you gave me eyes to see from a different vantage point and the tools to do something about it. I aspire to be the mentor for my students that you have always been for me.
Last but not least, this book is for my family, who has walked with me every step of the way. For my parents, Kathy and Crawford Allison, who have always fought for me. Their steadfast faith and love strengthen me. For my husband, Jeb, who has always fought alongside me. If only more pastors had the integrity and faith of my husband, the church would be a vastly different place. And for my children, Stephen and Elena: you are the reason I keep fighting for a better Christian world. You fill me with joy and, every day, you renew my hope.