Chapter 22

 

The walk the next day had been Julia’s suggestion. She’d telephoned last night, sounding subdued, unlike herself. Edith had let her spirits lift at the mention of the walk, not held herself in check as she had been doing of late. She would try to let go, try to live in the moment.

She’d even talked about the police this morning with Archie. She had broached the subject bothering her most since she’d come back home. “Are they still calling round here all the time?”

Archie had shrugged, but she’d seen something more relaxed, less angry in his face. “No, not that they’ve deigned to tell me, or anything, but I think they’ve moved their focus away from me. I think they have someone else in their sights and what’s more, I have a feeling that it’s something to do with the disappearance of that Kirk woman and Braithwaite.”

“Surely not.” Edith’s brain was whirring and all sorts of things were resonating against each other. She kept them to herself for now. She needed to keep what she said as much in check as her thoughts. For a long time in the future—forever, perhaps she was going to have to keep a close guard on her tongue.

* * *

It was a perfect autumn morning, for a walk. The light already had an old gold tint and the changing hues of the falling leaves turned to world to burnished russets, browns, and gold.

They soon got into a rhythm, walking at a fair pace. The going was challenging, over bracken and rough ground. “I’m a bit out of condition. I think I’ve been letting things slide, feeling sorry for myself, not doing anything about it.”

Julia paused and laughed, “You know I think I’ve just heard myself talk there, and I didn’t even move my lips.”

Edith heard a trace of gaiety, reminding her of the old Julia. “Didn’t we see the funny side of some pretty unfunny things at Tommy’s,” said Edith.

Julia grimaced. “You had to be there, I suppose. Maybe to anyone else, it would have been rather tasteless, some of the humour. I think nurses always do joke you know, about disgusting things like the sputum, round, or the old chestnut about getting the false teeth mixed up. Did that ever actually happened?”

“Bound to have done,” said Edith.

They walked on, matching each other’s pace well. “I think you’ve come to a decision,” Edith said quietly.

“I think so. But it’s not necessarily the right one. Or even a permanent one. But, I have to jump one way or another, don’t I? I have to tell you something. Don’t panic. But, I had a near miss in the motor, yesterday, Frightened the life out of myself, and I don’t think it did a lot for the nerves of the poor farmer who nearly had the misfortune to mow me down with his tractor.”

She heard Edith’s sharp inhalation, and saw her shocked expression.

“Don’t worry. As you see, I had a lucky escape. But it was a sharp lesson. Life is precious, and so on. Also, I can’t go on for very long in my present state of limbo. I’ve been all over the place, angry, indignant, feeling very sorry for myself.”

“You have good reason,” Edith said.

“I know. But, the point is I’ve got to get over that, start taking some rational decisions. And the first one is to try and move on from the shock of what has happened, go away for a break, perhaps, but then go back home.

“What?” Edith couldn’t help the exclamation.

“I know,” said Julia. “I’m far from sure it’s the right decision, and I’m even less sure that our marriage will last. But, don’t you see, Edith. If Giles and I do part, I need to be more clever in how I deal with it, not just walk away, giving him the advantage. I shouldn’t have to think like this, but look how it would look to an outsider…woman abandons child, husband, and home. As things stand, there’s no way Bea would come with me. I don’t want to put her in that position anyway. My plan is to try and talk to Giles properly. I’ve made all sorts of resolutions to remain calm whatever the provocation. If he wants to try again, ditching the lady-friend then I suppose I owe him…us, that one chance.”

“You’ve clearly given it a lot of thought,” Edith said. She had serious misgivings, but wasn’t going to say so. It wasn’t necessary, anyway. Julia was a woman without rose-tinted spectacles anywhere near her. Now she confirmed this.

“I’m prepared to try if he is. But in the back of my mind, and sorry if this sounds cynical, is the thought that if I leave again, it will be properly this time. And that will include getting the advice of a solicitor.”

 

An agitated Aunt Alicia telephoned that afternoon. Julia had left after a cup of tea. The relaxed, happy tiredness of the walk was replaced by the tension in her friend’s stance and facial expression.

“Thanks, for listening, chum,” she’d said in the hallway, giving Edith an unexpected, quick hug.

“Come and see me again soon.” Edith had the most unsettling feeling of dispatching her friend into the lion’s den, which she told herself was quite stupid. Julia was going home. It was Giles, her husband, who was presumably waiting there, not some strange ogre. Whatever had happened to the old Giles, something must surely remain of the young eager suitor Edith remembered, begging Julia to wangle some time off from the hospital when he was on leave.

“I wondered if you or Archie could come out to see me? I’ve had that Inspector Greene and the young sergeant out here. They seemed to stay ages and I’m not at all sure they went away satisfied…”

Edith clicked her tongue. It was too much, upsetting an elderly lady on her own like this. Coming round to question Archie was one thing; Aunt Alicia’s involvement with this business was peripheral. Esther Kirk hadn’t even been with her for long.”

“Hang on, Aunt Alicia. I’ll come now. I’ll get the motor out and be with you quite soon.”

“Don’t you think maybe you should bring Archie?”

Edith made a snap decision. Part of getting better was dealing with things by herself. She’d once been a strong and independent woman. She needed to at least try being one again.”

“Tell you what, Aunt Alicia. I’ll come on my own for now. Archie is out visiting an elderly patient, a man living on his own, needing the company as much as anything. He’s usually detained there for quite a while and a glass or two is usually imbibed. I’ll stay the night if you like. We’ll see.”

It felt different driving out to Aunt Alicia’s, on her own, no longer looking for refuge, but being the one to bring, hopefully, some comfort. She drove up the short drive that curved sweetly to the front of the house. She had always loved the solidity of this house; four-square and functional, its beauty composed of simplicity, Georgian symmetry, and lack of adornment. It reminded Edith of the county itself, resilient and sound.

Aunt Alicia opened the door and for the first time, that Edith could recall, her aunt looked diminished and old. Edith pushed a myriad worries away for now, but couldn’t prevent them rushing into her mind in the first place. It didn’t look like Esther Kirk would be coming back, whatever the reason for her disappearance. Her aunt couldn’t stay here on her own. What did that mean for her and Archie?”

“Thank you for coming dear, come in.”

As they went into the hallway, her aunt looked at Edith more closely. “You’re looking well, Edith?”

“Yes, been for a tramp with Julia over the moors, blew away the cobwebs, for both of us, I’d say.” Edith looked around her. It may be her imagination, but the room they were in was beginning to take on a slightly neglected air. How long had the Esther woman been away anyway?”

“I’ll make us a cup of tea.”

“No, Auntie Alicia, let me do it.” Alicia put her hand on Edith’s arm, and she could feel a slight tremor.

“No, dear, please, let me do it. I’ve been feeling a bit of a useless old woman lately, so don’t make it worse, please.”

She smiled to take the sting from her words, but Edith fretted at how she seemed to have aged, as she went slowly to get the tea.

 

“It isn’t that he bullied me, not at all. He’s quite an old-fashioned, gentle type of man, you know, Edith, however uncouth he tries to appear.” Edith smiled into her cup. “I doubt very much if Archie would agree that view of Inspector Greene, Auntie.”

“Well, perhaps. Maybe they did concentrate too much on Archie and I can understand that it doesn’t look good for him, having visits from the police. But, one good thing is that they no longer seem in the least concerned about him. They know I’m Archie’s aunt, but they barely mentioned him. They wanted to know about Esther though, everything, every detail. To tell the truth dear, I don’t even know the woman that well. She hasn’t been with me long and apart from that, she is very unforthcoming. I felt a fool. They wanted to know about her friends, about what she did in her time off, whether she mentioned any family. I don’t think they understood that I just didn’t know. They obviously thought I was being obtuse or just downright difficult.”

“Oh, I don’t know, Auntie Alicia. I think you are taking it too much to heart. That is the way they question, their method. To hear Archie, they asked him the same things, with maybe a slight variation, time after time—that was what infuriated him, he didn’t feel that the questioning was serving any useful purpose at all apart from them letting him know that he wasn’t trusted. You know Archie, doesn’t suffer that sort of thing…I don’t suppose he made things any easier for himself.”

Aunt Alicia put her cup down and went to lift the teapot to pour them out another cup. Edith stopped herself from intervening, recognising that it was important for Aunt Alicia to feel in control in her own home.

Actually, it must be quite horrible for her, having a woman who was less than congenial, foisted upon her and then feeling she should have been more observant. It made her angry at the police for making her aunt feel like this and at Henry Wilkes for bringing the woman here in the first place.

“I told them that as far as I knew Esther had gone to Brighton. That’s what she told me. A visit to Brighton to an old school friend who kept an antiques shop with her husband, a last bit of sea air before the winter, that’s what she said. I had no reason at all to doubt her word. I told the inspector so. I didn’t have an address or telephone number for the friend—well, why on earth would I? But somehow, I was made to feel that was somehow remiss of me. They spent an age in her room, took a bag of things away with them. I tried to object, but they just said they would give me a receipt, that it could be important evidence.”

Edith decided eventually to stay the night and rang Archie with a brief explanation.

“Bloody officious man,” was Archie’s comment when she tried to explain to him about Aunt Alicia’s visit from the police.

* * *

Giles sat across the table from Julia. Beatrice was in bed. To Julia’s relief, she seemed oblivious to what was going on between her parents. Knowing Beatrice, though, she may well be choosing to ignore her mother’s comings and goings. For now, though it certainly made things easier. Giles, though, wasn’t making things easy for her. He had an impatient look on his face, and a rigid, don’t touch me, posture.

Julia was conscious that it was one thing being calm and resolved when walking across the moors with Edie. It was different and an awful lot more difficult when face-to-face with an intractable Giles. A part of her wanted to shout at him that none of this was her fault. This situation was not of her making. But she’d solemnly promised herself that she wasn’t going to argue with him. She had heard or read that as soon as you became angry, you’ve lost the argument, and this was certainly the case when you were dealing with Giles.

“Giles,” she said, determined to keep her tone steady. “Something needs to be resolved. Well, you know that.”

He said nothing.

Julia wished the beat of her heart would slow, and that this sick feeling would go.

“Help me out, a bit here, Giles. I’m trying to resolve things in some way. But, I can’t do it on my own. Do you even want me to stay?”

He shrugged his shoulders “You’ll have to please yourself about that.”

The man was being impossible. What was he trying to do to her? She struggled to keep her equilibrium. A lot depended on it, so she succeeded for now in fighting down the hurt and rage. “Are you prepared to give up this Amanda? I can’t be expected to put up with that, Giles, not that humiliation.”

She thought a flicker of compassion, or regret crossed his face. Maybe it was wishful thinking. But there had been at least a flicker on the surface of his composure, and she didn’t think it was just at the prospect of losing his lady-friend. For the first time since she came into the house, she felt a flicker of hope.

“I’ll talk to her,” he said.

Julia suddenly felt very tired, the last few days, the accident and the strain of this conversation…it was all catching up with her. “I’m going to look for something to do, something outside the house, I mean. The children are growing up, the boys away at school. Even Bea doesn’t need me so much anymore.” She expected objections.

“You’re not trained for anything,” was all he said.

That’s not quite the case. All that nursing experience must count for quite a lot. But she chose not to mention this. “The charitable organisations are always looking for volunteers,” she said, not quite sure this was true. But she was freefalling now anyway. She had no idea what had made her come out with the statement she was going to do something outside the home. In fact, it was only as she was saying the words that she realised she meant them, that it had become important to her.