Chapter 26

 

“Do you realise it’s almost one o’clock?”

“No, though I thought it was late. I’ve had a bit too much to drink too.”

“Ease up on yourself, Edith. It doesn’t matter. You’ve had a hell of a time of it and you’ve had a shock, too, well we all have.”

She shook her head and said for what must have been the fiftieth time, “I can’t believe it. The poor woman. I know she did bad things, but how do we know what tortures she’d been through—what was in her mind…to walk into the sea, like that…”

She shuddered, and felt, for a moment she would never be able to sleep again, without seeing Esther Kirk’s face in front of her, that image of her making that lonely walk down into the sea “It was such a sad, lonely thing to do. If only she had gone to someone…”

“Suicide is always like that, leaves a terrible legacy, too many whys and if onlys. But in a way, Edith, I can’t agree with you. Somehow, you see, in her situation, it doesn’t necessarily seem the worst thing. The worst thing, by far, would have been if she had been confined again somewhere.”

“But, would she have been? Aren’t we jumping to conclusions?”

“I honestly don’t think so, no. I have re-read her notes, and now the damage is done, as it were, and she is dead, Greene was much more forthcoming. She had a baby and a breakdown, spent many years in a mental hospital. A new psychiatrist came along, got to know her, assessed her again, and she was released.”

“The wrong decision, in this case.”

Archie shrugged. “She’s been managing all right for years, as far as we know. Maybe, she deserved the chance.”

“I wonder what tipped her over the edge, started it all up again.

Archie didn’t hesitate. “It was something to do with me. I was there spending time, too much time she probably thought, with Mrs. Butler. It brought it all back.”

“Archie, this is not making sense, not at all. Why now? And more to the point, why you?”

“Because of dad. Didn’t have a lot of time for this sort of thing, did he? He played a big part in the baby being taken away, in her being committed to a mental hospital. I share his name. They tell me I look like him and I am a doctor. It was bound to have stirred up bad memories.”

Edith shivered and bent to poke at the fire. She still wasn’t a hundred percent convinced of Archie’s theory. Something else must have made Esther begin sending letters and poison Elizabeth Butler.

She couldn’t stop thinking about Aunt Alicia, now asleep upstairs in the big spare room. She’d been reluctant to come for the night. It had taken some persuading from both her niece and nephew, and had only eventually concurred on the proviso she be driven home in the morning.

“I can’t possibly leave my house, Edith, Archie. I don’t want to leave. I’ll come and stay with you both tonight. This whole business has been a shock. The poor, poor woman, though. But, I’m not nervous of being on my own and I’m not going to start living in fear.”

Though Edith could see how adamant her aunt was and had to respect her wishes, this would need to be faced head on at some point. She just couldn’t continue living on her own out there. At the very least, she would have to advertise for another housekeeper cum companion, but that wasn’t going to be easy, given her most recent experience.

Edith had been surprised at her strength of feeling about staying in her own home. It seemed to put paid to any tentative unvoiced idea, Edith might have entertained about Aunt Alicia moving in with them.

Straight after breakfast, Edith drove her aunt home. She had decided to have a drink with her aunt then call on Julia. Giles would be safely gone to work and she was determined to give at least a fraction of the support Julia needed. Julia had visited St. Bride’s several times, not the easiest thing to do, especially as she was fighting her own battles at home. Edith was going to be the best friend she could in this time of need. But, Julia was rushing out the door, literally, her cheeks flushed and looking absolutely lovely in an emerald green costume with a small fur collar and a brown beret parked on the red hair.

“Julia, you look very nice. Are you off somewhere exciting?”

Julia smiled. “Not exactly, no. Mind you the way my life has been lately, maybe meeting with the hospital almoner could be classed as exciting.”

“Oh, you are going to go ahead with your volunteering. Good for you, you certainly haven’t let the grass grow under your feet.

Julia smiled her old big smile. “You know me, no sooner said, than done. But, look, you came round for a chat. Come with me, in the car. You could even join me! Do hospital work, too. There’s an idea. It would be like the old days.”

But Edith shook her head. “I can’t, not now. Look at the state of me, for one thing. The almoner wouldn’t countenance me, looking like this—one step up from gardening clothes. Mrs. Braithwaite and I are planning to continue our big clear out again today. It’s doing me good and I can’t help thinking it might be taking her mind off her troubles. Well a bit, anyway, though inevitably, it tends to be our main topic of conversation. Archie and I sat into the night last night discussing poor Esther Kirk. You’ll have heard?”

Julia nodded, her smile disappearing. “Yes, awful. Poor, wretched woman.

They both looked at each other, soberly. Both started to speak, but Edith gestured for Julia to continue.

“That near—accident I had the other day?”

Edith nodded.

“I can’t stop thinking about it. It did jolt me, you know. Edith. For a split second I thought I was a goner, and the foremost thing in my mind was not Giles’s betrayal, but wanting to live, wanting to see my children, you, my parents.”

“Me too, to some extent, I suppose. No children but, I wanted to get out of St. Bride’s and come home. Maybe this clear out will do some good. A new beginning and all that. But, Jules, go. Telephone me and let me know how you get on. I would imagine they’ll snatch your hand off, especially looking as well as you do.

Julia grinned and waved as Edith got into her motor.

She and Mrs. Braithwaite had hit their stride now and already the attic looked like a different place. “Would Cathy like these?” Edith indicated a stack of penguin books.

“You couldn’t give her anything better, Miss Edith—always has her head stuck in a book, not that I’m complaining. At least it’s not boys, make-up and dances, though I’m sure that’s all to come.”