Introduction

A ny master deceiver knows that sound intelligence is the foundation for a victorious operation. Our most successful tactics have always been formulated in light of research we conducted through prior contact. With that in mind, this guide offers the novice tempter a collection of our most current approaches.

You are undoubtedly aware of the rise and fall of our former senior colleague, as well as the brainless blunders of those once under his tutelage. Given the way events have unfolded as of late, we felt it most advantageous to systematically educate young tempters as early as possible rather than to lose many of them to the same fiery fate to which we lost our senior advisor.

With this goal in mind, we present a combat manual designed to train you: The Art of Spiritual War . We have put forth this compilation in order to imprint on your devious little minds a reminder that you too might suffer along with the one you once idolized should you fail to heed the guidelines herein. In short, learn or burn.

We realize that strategies must allow for some flexibility based on what is needed at a precise moment in the field. Regardless, we expect you to maintain the highest standards in your work, as it is both your expertise and your ability to adapt faster than your opponent that will determine whether you succeed or fail.

If you adhere to the principles outlined herein, you will find your efforts duly rewarded. However, should you fail to heed these principles and in so doing hurt our cause in the slightest, you will suffer the proper punishment. After all, if one is purposefully or even accidentally insubordinate to The Dragon, what should one expect other than that we inflict on that one what is due?

Now, what you find here is the accumulated wisdom of our foremost experts in this area of study. From these myriad experiences, newer operants glean significant knowledge and spare themselves the countless vain efforts already made by those who went out before them. Keep in mind that these are general constructs, and the foundational principles are the same for every form of deception we launch. Our principal goal is to inundate patients with subtly incompatible belief systems such that we obscure the simple truth about the Life. We could introduce you to a slew of ignorant creatures upon whom our methods have been most effective.

Note also that this manual is required reading during the first millennium of study at the Institute of Behavioral Rectification. For those deceivers who once fancied themselves as being in the know, undoubtedly you will realize there have been radical improvements in combat over the last century or two, as traditional temptations have often been found insufficient to dislodge a patient from his contented position. This is all the more reason that our most current stratagems must remain confidential and go unnoticed. The only thing more advantageous than the patients not knowing our methods is for them to believe they actually do know our methods. Currently, the majority of them only believe us to be horned devils tempting them to do evil. Let us work together to both surprise and bewilder them.