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Resting impatiently in my kistvaen, I closed my eyes and waited for the sunlight to come pouring in through the open door. Once the sun climbed high enough, I would leave this room forever. Someone had disturbed my resting place while I was gone, but I could find nothing missing. What did I care now? I did not bother to close the door. I was so hungry that anyone who entered this room would not stand a chance at escape. So I lay in wait.
To think for all these centuries I wondered, I hoped, I looked for my friend, the angel of mercy who saved me, never remembering that in return for her kindness I gave her a cruel, immortal existence.
What else have I done that I do not yet recall?
If no death-bringer came for me, I would do it myself. It was time to act before I brought such a fate to Arthur.
Maybe I would leave my resting place early, while the sun was still out. Yes, I could do that. I could walk out right now and catch fire. I gripped the sides of the stone and steeled myself for the burning. Why was I so resistant? Burning to cinders in the sunshine was a suitable end for me, the murderous Undead Queen. Sun’s attack on me had been so exhausting that I was not sure I would survive at any rate. I could do nothing for Nimue now. I could not even bring an end to my own curse, much less hers.
My shee blood struggled against my plan, but I clenched my fists in determination. I must do this—I would do this! But then the door cracked open a little farther, and a man stepped inside. He closed the door and sat on the floor. This was no robber, no homeless person seeking shelter. I knew this man as well as I knew my own soul.
“Arthur, leave me alone,” I spoke into the darkness. An unexpected tear fell down my cheek.
Ah, Merlin, how cruel you were to restore my ability to shed tears. I will shed them forever now, it seems.
“I know what you are, Guinevere. I know what it means. It doesn’t matter to me. I love you.” I shuddered at his words. He’d said them before, when he returned home the last time after I thought him dead that long year. Lancelot and I had betrayed him, that’s what people said, including Morgan. But it had not been true. Even when Lancelot and I found solace in one another’s arms, I never stopped loving Arthur Pendragon.
“It does not matter now, Arthur. Leave me. I cannot trust myself; my hunger is great. If you only knew what I’ve done.”
I heard the crunch of leaves and debris under his shoes as he walked toward me. I shouted, “Stop! Don’t come any closer!” I clutched the sides of the kistvaen even tighter. I could hear the rhythm of his heart and smell the fragrance of his blood. Yes, the essence of him. God, take this hunger from me.
“I have already seen you, Guinevere. I know you appear different, but inside, you are my Guinevere.” His words were like a dagger plunged into my heart.
“Nothing is as it was, my king. That woman is dead. Even Camelot has changed.”
He paused, and I heard him take in a deep breath. I purposefully avoided reading his mind. It wouldn’t be right, and I didn’t need a reason to hate him. As I had confessed, I could not trust my own judgment right now.
“Camelot lives forever in our hearts. In the world, what we accomplished is not forgotten.”
“You are wrong, my king. Camelot has forgotten us. It moves on without us.” Another tear slid down my face. I could feel him tense and knew I had said too much.
“What do you mean?”
I could not lie to him about this, and I had promised Nimue that I would bring him back. Knowing the powers of Thalia and her children, however, I wasn’t sure that was such a good idea. I would have to be much stronger than this to feel comfortable bringing Arthur back to Camelot.
“Faraday was right, Arthur. There are other dimensions—Camelot exists still but not in this realm. In another realm and with another queen.”
“Faraday? From the museum? You’re talking about the historian?”
I sat up now; though the room was dark, I found Arthur’s presence comforting. I didn’t talk to many people nowadays, but this was my husband. I could always be my true self with him, at least when I was mortal. He was here, he’d come to find me, to seek me out. He loved me still. It was true. I could feel his love and his desperation. And now his curiosity.
“Yes. You know Faraday?”
“Only because I went looking for you. I saw other things at the museum too.”
I nodded. “Excalibur. It is a poor replica, I know. Morgan sent it to him, but I don’t know why. Perhaps she knew I went there occasionally and wanted to bait me.”
“There is something else, isn’t there? I saw the statue of Lancelot. You have seen it, I assume?”
“Yes, many times.”
Another pregnant pause passed between us. We were good at those. My senses began to burn. I felt tired, but I was also famished. “You should go, Arthur. I must rest.”
“I love you, Guinevere, even though you never came to find me. Even though you never visited me. I love you to this day. Even with all that’s passed between us.”
“Arthur, you know we cannot undo the past. Why do you speak of such things? Is that why you are here?”
He didn’t answer me directly but said in a sad voice, “I guess that is my answer, then. We will never be Arthur and Guinevere again. There is nothing left. Your heart belongs to Lancelot.”
I carefully slid from the kistvaen and approached him. He could not see me in the darkness, but he didn’t appear fearful. I noticed that he had not brought Excalibur with him. He was so beautiful to look upon, his face so much like the Arthur of old, only with fewer scars. I touched his hand and then held it between my own.
His face lifted, and he searched for mine in the dark.
“Arthur, I never ceased to love you. I ceased to be worthy of you. But my heart has always been yours. Even in that time when Lancelot and I...”
“Guinevere!” he said in a ragged, broken voice. He reached for me, and I allowed him to pull me close. Then his mouth was on mine, and he did not pull away from me although I knew that the taste of blood must still be on my tongue, that my teeth were longer than he expected. What if I somehow poisoned him with my blood? I could not bear it if I turned him too.
I pushed him back. “No, Arthur. It is not safe. I am the Bringer of Death. I am what Morgan called me—I am the Undead Queen.” His arm was still around my waist. I could hurt him, kill him, but he did not care. And I did not want to do such things.
“I cannot live without you, Guinevere Pendragon. Not again.”
Before I knew it, we were kissing again. Then I laid my head on his chest and let him hold me. He needed this as much as I did. I smothered my hunger for him. I allowed my heart to rule me for a few moments. I did not wish to hurt him, and I would not. I knew that now. Our love was deep, so deep that even the darkest parts of me would not lift a hand against him.
“I saw Merlin, Guinevere. He was in the Cavanaugh Mine. He cannot leave it, he says. He said the strangest thing. He told me I should return to Camelot, and now you say Camelot exists. What does this mean?”
The light was fading outside. There was so much to say to him, but I had to prepare him as best I could. “There is a woman, a creature. I followed her into a stone circle, like the Giants’ Dance but smaller. She challenged me, warned me not to return to Camelot. She left through some sort of door—I followed her and found myself in Camelot. Our city remains, but the place is very different, as if it is under a spell. She wants you to come. She says it is to make you King, but I do not believe her. There is power in your Pendragon blood, Arthur, a power you probably do not understand. This creature—she calls herself Queen Thalia—has two children who are equally strong. They are like me, only different somehow.”
“Camelot still exists? Tell me more about this Thalia.”
“Yes, it exists. Her children were kept in glass coffins. They were like me, blood creatures of a kind but different. One of them, Sun, had a pendant—it was also a weapon that shed light. That light burned me, like the sun. This creature looked like a young girl, but she was old, ancient. There was a boy too, but he never emerged from his coffin. And then I found yet another coffin. It belonged to this Queen.”
“Wait! Thalia, the Sleeping Queen? She was one of King Pellinore’s favorite stories. I thought that was all legend. Poor Pellinore...nobody ever believed him.”
“I do not remember those stories.”
He took my hand and squeezed it. It felt warm on my cold skin. “It is no matter, Guinevere. Perhaps it is good that we do not remember everything.”
“I saw Nimue, Arthur.” I didn’t mean to blurt it out, but I felt he had to know. “Thalia trapped her in a coffin like her own. She was a corpse, a living corpse. Nimue is like me, but she has been denied blood a very long time. I turned her. I shared my curse in my madness, the madness of those early days. I changed her.”
“That can’t be true, Guin. You would never harm anyone, much less Nimue. You have always loved her like she was your own sister.”
“Love does not matter when you are like me. I did a great deal of harm, Arthur. I killed many, many who did not deserve to die. I murdered children, Arthur. I am a monster.” I sobbed the confession out. He reached for me again; I could see that he did not believe me. He did not want to believe me. I backed away. “I am Death, my king. Especially to those I love.”
“Where is Nimue now?”
“Camelot. She wanted to stay to open the portal when we returned. She said we must take back Camelot. We have to go back, Arthur. We have to help Nimue.”
“Show me the way, Guinevere. Let us go to battle. Together.”
“Very well, but I must regain my strength first. I cannot travel another step without...food.”
I could see his expression even in the darkness. He didn’t want to think about my blood hunger, didn’t quite believe it, but he did not try to prevent me.
“I will go, then, but I will be back in a little while. Please, Guinevere. Promise you will not run from me again. Do not leave me.”
I hugged him. It was such a strange thing to do, but it felt good. I wanted to reassure him that I would not run as I did before. No, the time for running was over. Time to pay the piper, whatever the cost may be.
“I will be here. Come back in a few hours. I will feed and meet you here.”
“Who will...I mean...”
“Only the guilty, Arthur. I will know. Trust me this once.”
“Of course. Should I bring anything?”
“Bring Excalibur. The power of the sword will help us.”
He ducked his head and said in a whisper, “Excalibur calls your name. Did you know that?”
“No, but it doesn’t surprise me.”
“Really?”
“I am married to the sword, just as I am married to you. Forever, Arthur. Go now, please. I weaken, as does my resolve.” I pushed him away and turned my head. My eyes would be glittering, and I could feel my teeth growing longer.
He hurried to the door, pausing once as I crawled back into my stone bed. “I will return, Guinevere.”
“Until then, Arthur.”
The room filled with a flash of light and then darkened again. I was alone. And time was not on my side.
