The woman left shortly after that, and he was scared shitless. He was so confused and nervous. Nathan didn’t know what to do. He wasn’t prepared! When Jillian and he found out she was pregnant, they at least had had eight months to prepare.
Whose kid was this?
Was this really his child? He had a kid? Nathan looked at the little boy. Okay, the boy somewhat looked a little like him. Yeah.
How did he have a kid?
Nathan didn’t know how to take care of a kid just over two years old. He couldn’t take care of it! This place wasn’t equipped for a baby, let alone a toddler, which clearly this boy was. That was why Damon had left and moved in with Nathan’s sister in her apartment. Damon had given him the place because it would free up room for the newly-married couple with their baby. The place was perfect for Nathan, as he was a single bachelor.
What the hell?
He could call Natasha since she had a child that was younger than this, but then again, he would have to explain what happened. He would have to tell her how their mom and dad knew about his getting Jillian pregnant, and that they’d gotten into a fight. He’d have to tell her how he’d said some nasty things to his parents, and that he was the reason they died. At least, he felt that he was the reason.
If he hadn’t said harsh things to his parents, they might have been paying better attention. And they might have seen the drunk driver. He didn’t know, but the accident could possibly be very well his fault.
He couldn’t call Natalie. Sure she babysat, but she was all over the world. And yeah, Tillie and Nathan did share secrets. However, she didn’t know about this one secret.
He had no one.
Nathan would have to call the lady back. He had her number on his phone. He’d say sorry, but he couldn’t keep it. However, she had said the child was his.
How could he have a kid, though? Jillian told him she terminated the pregnancy. She’d killed their child!
This couldn’t be Jillian and his baby, who was now a toddler. But who else’s could it have been? He had only slept with Jillian before he was incarcerated and, considering how old this little boy was, the math worked. Nathan had been a little more cautious now, considering his first girlfriend had fallen pregnant. His sister, Natasha, had gotten pregnant with her husband’s baby before they had gotten married. Nathan certainly didn’t want that to happen again, at least until he found the right woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Back then he thought that would have been Jillian Maples.
It wasn't that his sex life was terribly exciting. Nathan had been a little gun-shy at first, what with eighteen months in prison, then having to work off his parole.
Regarding the other women he’d slept with, he’d used condoms and made sure to talk about preventative measures. That was with the few lovers Nathan had had after getting out of prison. The ladies told him they were on the pill, so he wasn’t too worried about a kid coming out of those affairs.
He was trying to get his life back together and make something of himself. He was also trying to make amends for the humiliation he had caused his family for abandoning his sisters in their family’s darkest hour.
Nathan knew Natasha loved Damon even if their courtship hadn't happened the way it had, and even if it took Damon longer to fall in love with her. So he knew life happened. Accidents such as unplanned pregnancies happened. He just rolled with the punches most of the time, but this wasn’t a punch. This was a kick to the head.
Nathan looked down. Where was the kid? Where the hell did the kid go? Where was the little kid? Nathan had put the boy down after the woman turned to leave so he could lock the door.
He panicked. The kid was gone. The door was closed and he knew he’d locked it, so the kid was still inside the penthouse. Oh my God...where was the kid?
“Little boy...little boy,” he called out. Where was the kid?! he screamed in his head.
His beer was still on the decorative side table, so he grabbed it and finished it in one swig. Then he put the empty bottle in the kitchen, as he shouldn’t leave that around. It was glass, and could hurt the little boy. Nathan then looked around. Where was that kid? He wasn’t in the kitchen. Oh my God...there were so many dangerous things in this kitchen. Where was the kid?
He wandered into the living room. No kid in there. “Little boy, where are you?” he gently called for the child. “If you’re playing hide and go seek... Um, I’m kinda tired. Don’t want to play right now, maybe tomorrow...”
Oh, he had to work tomorrow. Nathan hit his forehead with the palm of his hand at that harsh revelation.
What was he going to do with this little boy? Nathan was already set back two days at least. He’d just have to put the child in daycare. Yeah, that could work...right? Or Nathan could always drop him off at his sisters?
Oh...no, he couldn’t. He just couldn’t do that yet. He would take care of this problem all by himself. He always took care of his own problems and kept them to himself. Maybe that’s what got him into trouble in the first place?
He immediately stopped that thought as it was getting him nowhere, and continued looking around his place for the child.
The boy wasn’t in the bathroom. Not playing in the toilet or the shower or in the tub. Where was that damn kid?!
He was getting both annoyed and apprehensive at the same time. “Little boy, little boy,” Nathan called out again.
Finally, he went into the bedroom as the door was slightly opened. Nathan didn’t know how the little guy did it, but he had crawled up onto Nathan’s bed. He looked toward the clock quickly; it was almost eight ten p.m.
Aww, the little guy was tired.
He went over to the bed and saw the child had his thumb in his mouth while his blanket was wrapped in his other arm. The child looked sleepy.
“You tired, little man?”
The boy looked up to Nathan sadly. “Mommy,” he whined.
“I bet you miss your mommy,” Nathan said. I miss my mommy, too... he reflected to himself.
“Mommy gone. Dead.”
I’m sorry, buddy, he crushingly thought.
“Did you want anything to eat or drink?” Nathan asked, trying not to break down in front of this grief-stricken child.
The child shook his head no.
“Alright...well, I’ll let you lie down and take a nap or sleep.”
The little boy shuffled over to the other side of the bed, and Nathan put some pillows around him. He didn’t know if the kid had a diaper on. Do I check? Is he potty-trained? Nathan immediately thought.
The woman from the courthouse hadn't brought a bag for the child. She'd just brought some paperwork with the kid and his blanket in tow.
Nathan didn’t even have any clothes or dippers. He was so out of his league right now in regards to this child. He had to call his sister. Nathan had to! He needed help.
After making sure the child wouldn’t fall off the bed, Nathan pulled up a blanket to cover the boy, and saw the kid fell asleep right away. He lightly tapped the boy on the bum, and didn’t feel a dipper. Okay, he’s potty-trained.
If the little boy had not been potty-trained, he was going to pee the bed, and that was going to suck. After leaving a lamp on for the little boy, Nathan closed the door, leaving it slightly ajar so he could listen for any noises.
Nathan went straight to the fridge. He didn’t think about it. He just needed another beer. He possibly needed something stiffer!
He grabbed another beer and drank it all before needing air. Okay, better! Then he collected the paperwork the woman had given him which he’d dropped on side table. He went to the living room. Sitting down, he read through the documents.
Sure enough, there was the birth certificate of the little boy. He had been named Joshua Nathan Romeo.
Birth mother: Jillian Christy Maples
Birth father: Nathan Isaac Romeo
Hmm...?
Nathan looked at the paper, then flipped it over to look at it some more. It didn’t look to be a forgery. He closed his eyes. She had lied to him. After all that time, he thought Jillian had killed their baby. He wasn’t sure if he ever wanted to attempt to be a parent again.
Suddenly there was so much anger building up inside him. He felt like a volcano ready to erupt. Jillian had lied to him! Why would she have done that? Why did she tell him she’d killed their child when Jillian clearly had not terminated the pregnancy, but had kept their child a secret from him? Nathan had gone and stolen a car right after she told him that she’d killed their baby. He had then gone on a high-speed pursuit, which had earned him a four-year prison sentence. If she hadn’t lied to him, then he wouldn’t have gone to prison. Nathan wouldn’t even have stolen the car in the first place! And most importantly, he would have been there for his family!
The woman had said the mother was dead. And Josh had said, ‘Mommy’s gone.’
He was torn between anger and grief for the loss of his first love, the woman Nathan thought he’d loved since he’d given himself to her, and she had given herself to him.
He looked back to his room when he thought he heard a noise. Putting the paperwork down, he walked over to the door and opened it.
Joshua had flipped over onto his other side in the bed, and looked content. His son! This was his and Jillian’s son, who had not been terminated, as Jillian had stated on their last day together. Their child was now sleeping on Nathan's large king-sized bed. Jillian was dead. He stood for a few minutes by the bed and watched the child sleep. It seemed the boy was having a nightmare.
He gently rubbed Josh’s shoulder. “It’s okay, little man, it’s okay,” Nathan said calmly before gently running his hand through the child’s hair. Josh’s hair was so soft and fine, and dirty-blond like his. They both had the same olive-colored skin. He didn’t remember the boy’s eye color, as he hadn’t looked at his face when the woman had handed him the child. But when Nathan spoke to the child, he’d seen that Josh’s eye shape sort of resembled Jillian’s.
Nathan had been in shock, what with having a kid show up on his doorstep. Okay, he was scared shitless and freaking out inside. Good thing they didn’t actually show up at his place of work.
Coming back out of the bedroom and heading toward the couch, he had to think. Manny had a daughter with kids. Maybe Manny’s daughter could help him? However, Nathan couldn’t bring a kid to a construction site. It would be too noisy. He couldn’t call in sick—he was the boss. He had to be there! And they had to fix the mistake that Calvin had made. Then, and only then, could the electrician do their work.
He’d worry about that tomorrow. Right now, he needed answers. He needed a shit load of answers, and he wanted to speak to Jillian! Nathan wanted to yell at her. He wanted...
Oh, he was so angry!
Getting up from the couch, Nathan walked out onto the balcony of the penthouse apartment. The railing bars were high enough up and covered with glass panels. There ought to be no worries the child would fall over the side. The kid shouldn’t even come out onto the deck, Nathan protectively thought. He looked down at the traffic, which was sixty floors below to be exact! It was still too high as far as he was concerned.
This was a nice place. Damn it! He would worry about that later. For now, he would keep the doors locked so the boy didn’t wander out onto the deck.
Nathan couldn’t give the child away. Well, he could, but it was his child. It was Jillian’s secret, one in which she had kept: she had not terminated the pregnancy, and instead borne his son. How long did she plan on playing this game with him?
“Ahh....JILLIAN!!!!” Nathan hollered. The sound of the traffic helped muffle his frustrations. He was so mad!
Jillian had lied to him. She had straight face lied to him and he had said not nice things to her either. Their last fight didn’t go well, as he unnecessarily blamed her for his parents’ death, as well as lashed out at her for killing their baby. Because of the fight they’d got into, he stole the flashy car and ended up in prison. All he wanted was for her to comfort him over the loss of his parents. Not destroy his self-worth and break his heart into a million pieces!
Jillian said she’d killed his child, his son, and she hadn’t. Oh, he was so angry. Why were people doing this to him? Why did they treat him like he was juvenile? It might have been hard to raise a baby, let alone a child, after his parents died. However, that didn’t excuse Jillian from lying to him.
Nathan came back into the penthouse and went back to the couch. He’d just read the letter.
Opening up the envelope that was still sealed and addressed to Nathan, he pulled out a lot of pages. Maybe one page would have been enough to tell Nathan why she’d lied to him, but the document was at least eleven pages.
Dear Nathan,
I’ve written this and if you are receiving it, it means I am no longer here. I’ve died. I don’t know whether my parents are dead or not, but the purpose of this letter is that you receive our son if I am dead and my parents are still alive. I don’t care what my parents say, as I want you to be Josh’s father. Mom and Dad didn’t want you to be in Josh’s life, and I’m sorry for that. I’m sorry I had to lie to you. I’m sorry you were so angry and that you lost your parents shortly after telling them about us falling pregnant. I never meant for that to happen, and if I could take it back, I would.
Just as I never meant for this to happen, I never meant for my being deceased to happen. I have written you a diary. It is in the attached bag, or it is somewhere in my room. I’m sure you can have my parents let you in to find it.
Nathan quickly looked at the entrance door. There was no bag; the woman had just brought Josh and the paperwork. He looked back down on Jillian’s letter, and continued reading.
You don’t know where I live, so here is the address to where we moved after our last fight.
The diary is of Josh’s first year. I thought that if you couldn’t be in his life then I would at least find a way of letting you know all the wonderful things our son has done. He’s really brilliant and smart and caring, compassionate and very cute. He’s a lot like you. He does also have a temper, and his tantrums can be quite erratic and aggressive, so I fear in time his temper will be as vile as yours.
I’m sure with your having a temper, you will be able to understand his needs and wants better than I. You’ll probably get through to him better than I have.
I want you to know that I am terribly sorry. I never meant to hurt you. Honestly, I never did. And I am sorry for that. I hope you can take care of our son. I know you were originally going to take care of me and our baby when you told me you were excited about us being pregnant. You also told me that everything would be alright as you would get a job and support us. I was so proud of you, Nathan. You’ll make a great father! Tell Joshua I love him every day. I haven’t said anything nasty about you to him. He knows about you, and that you are working. That’s what I’ve told him. That was why Daddy couldn’t come home.
Josh shouldn’t be fearful of you. I love you, and I’m sorry I did this to you. Please take good care of our son. Make me proud like you always have.
Love Jillian, oooxxx
Just reading her cover letter broke Nathan’s heart. Jillian loved him, but why did she lie to him? He needed to know why. He needed more. She’d mentioned a diary. Well, he would just go to her house and find the diary. Her parents would have no choice but to let him in.
It was too late to do it today. He would check it out tomorrow, along with everything else pertaining to Josh.
Ah ha! The Internet was a fascinating tool. Surely her death would have made the news. Nathan typed in Jillian’s name on his laptop; and he wasn’t sure if he would get a hit or not. Disgustingly enough, there were over twelve articles with her name in them.
Nathan read the first article.
It said Jillian Maples, her parents, and her son had been in a motor vehicle accident, with the small child being the only survivor. The article explained how the boy was awake when the paramedics arrived, and he was crying out for his mother to wake up.
Nathan immediately looked toward the bedroom where his son was sleeping. Just the thought that Joshua could have died in that accident was enough to break his heart and make Nathan sick to his stomach. He couldn’t imagine what it was like for Josh to be awake and seeing the people you loved not wake up, with blood covering them.
Nathan’s son had witnessed and survived the accident. Josh most likely had post-traumatic stress or something to that degree.
He’d almost lost his son again...
Nathan didn’t drink heavily, but right then, he wanted another drink. The mother of his child and her parents had been in an accident with his son, and this little boy had survived. He closed his eyes and started crying.
“Thank you, Mom and Dad, for protecting Joshua. Thank you so much! I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for what I said to you. You have done so much by protecting my son. How can I ever repay you guys?” he said while crying into his hands.
The pain he was feeling was ten times more intense than when he had found out his parents were dead. Nathan couldn’t explain why it was a child he barely knew—yet loved instantly—was able to bring a paternal sense of protectiveness and uncontrollable love he had never felt before. The child had been the sole survivor of another car accident...
After he got his tears under way, Nathan stared into the distance. He would still go to Jillian’s parents’ house, and go through her things to get all of the little boy’s stuff. He would find out why it was that he wasn’t allowed in his son’s life. His little boy was the only one to survive the accident, and it was considered a miracle. It was a miracle, he had no doubt his parents had saved their grandchild. It was the only way possible that Nathan could think of. It filled his heart with the unconditional love his parents had always shown their children. And Nathan would pass these teachings on to his child.
Nathan didn’t sleep well that night. He kept having bad dreams while he was on the couch. After midnight, he heard his son, Josh, wake.
Going to the bedroom, he comforted Josh. The child crawled onto Nathan’s chest and leaned on him, falling back asleep. He ran his hand through the little boy’s hair, and held him close. Nathan was tired and sad. Yet, he was ecstatic his son had survived the accident, and miserable that Jillian hadn’t.
He would still like to talk to Jillian as he wanted a lot of answers, and he couldn’t ask Josh because he was a little child. This was a discussion more suitable for adults.
He finally fell asleep, but every time the little boy would whimper or move in the bed, Nathan would instantly wake. It was the weirdest feeling he had ever experienced in his life. He just couldn’t sleep peacefully. It was like he had one eye open and one ear alert to all noise at all times. He would like to say it was one of the worst sleeps he’d had, but it was nothing compared to his first sleep in prison. That was pretty scary, hearing the other inmates! Grown men had cried or yelled throughout the night.
Getting up stiffly and letting the little guy sleep some more, he headed to the bathroom and then into the kitchen to make breakfast. It was too early. Nathan was too tired, and didn’t want to go to work. What was he going to do with Joshua? He’d have to take him to his work site.
Nathan was so tired that he couldn’t think straight.
He was frying eggs when he felt an odd sensation running up his back. Turning around, he saw the little guy with his blanket in his hand and thumb in his mouth.
“Are you hungry, Josh?” he smiled friendly at the boy.
The child nodded his head yes.
“Alright. What do you want to eat? I’m making eggs for myself. Do you like eggs?” Nathan asked the child that was still in the clothes he’d arrived in yesterday.
He shook his head no. Nathan stared at Josh, noticing that indeed his son wasn’t afraid of him. “Do you talk?” Josh shook his head no. You understand words, yet you don’t talk? Nathan thought to himself. He wasn’t going to worry about that right now.
Josh sat down at the table, and Nathan made him some toast and jam. Serving the food to Josh, he said, “This is strawberry jam on your toast.” He hoped it would be okay.
Nathan wasn’t a professional cook like his older sister, but he could boil water without burning it, and he could make toast without burning that too. He was pretty proud of himself for being an average cook. Granted, he didn’t know how to feed a child.
Sitting down at the table himself to eat the eggs he had made, which had gone cold, Nathan sipped his coffee and watched the little guy eat. He was fascinated by how Josh took little bites and chewed delicately. It looked like Josh was becoming more and more alive with every bite of his food. As he was lost in amazement of watching Josh, Nathan heard the doorbell.
Nathan hadn’t changed for work yet, as he still had half an hour to go before he’d have to leave. And he still had to figure out what to do with the kid. A worksite was no place a young child should be, as it was too dangerous. Maybe he’d check with his neighbors to see if they could watch his child.
But that wouldn’t be very fair, now would it?