Nathan woke up and looked to the middle of the bed. Josh was gone! He had been there last night when Nathan had finished his evening by watching a sappy, romantic movie with Donna cuddled into him.
Sitting up rather quickly, he was freaked. Where was Josh now? He didn’t see his son in the bedroom. He didn’t see his son’s blanket, either. He only saw the teddy bear he’d picked up yesterday. Rubbing his eyes to get the sleep out, Nathan was tired and really just wanted to sleep in. Looking toward the clock, it read, ten forty-eight. Oh...he had slept in.
Getting out of the bed, he soon heard Donna’s voice. Josh had to be with her. Josh must have gotten up early. Nathan went into the living room, where Josh and Donna were both sitting on the couch watching cartoons. Donna was laughing and making small comments about the characters on the show Handy Manny.
Smiling to himself, Nathan went over to them, “Good morning, Joshua.”
Josh looked up at him before looking back to the show.
Nathan could swear he saw his son half-smile with the corner of his mouth. It wasn’t a big gesture but it melted his heart all the same. He ruffled Josh’s hair and gave him a gent squeeze on the shoulder before heading toward the kitchen to get some coffee.
He knew Donna would be right on his heels because she had also looked at him when he had spoken. It didn’t feel too odd having woken up with Donna still in the apartment. How long was she thinking of helping him out with his son?
“You remember I need to run out for a bit, right?” Donna poured herself a cup of coffee after Nathan had put the coffeepot back into the machine. After taking a sip of this strong, black coffee—which Donna had made, and was rather good—Nathan smiled at her.
“You forgot...”
Nathan shook his head no deviously. Oh, he hadn’t forgotten what they talked about, or how she felt up against him last night. “I remember you will be gone, and then once you’re back, I can head into work for a few hours.”
Donna looked so darn cute in the mornings. Her hair was still messy, and she was still in her bunny PJ’s. Nathan loved teasing her and getting her all riled up.
“Okay. Well, I’m going to shower and change. You don’t mind if I use your bathroom?” Donna asked in a cheery song voice.
Nathan was pretty sure he didn’t have a choice in the matter. “By all means, go ahead.” He winked at her while making an expressive gesture with his right arm.
Blushing, Donna turned on her heel with her cup of coffee, and headed in the direction of Nathan’s bedroom. He smiled to himself. The PJ’s looked even cuter up against her fine tushy.
Sitting on the couch, Nathan enjoyed his coffee and the cartoons that Josh was intently watching. Twenty minutes later, Donna emerged from the bedroom. She was dressed in jeans and a pink blouse. Her long black hair was pulled back. She had put some make-up on because Donna’s green eyes sparkled like gems on the walls of an emerald mine.
He suddenly felt something in the pit of his stomach. It unnerved him a little. Nathan didn’t think he should be feeling as such toward her.
He joined her at the door. “You won’t be too long?”
Donna raised her brow to tease Nathan, then gently said, “I might be late.” He slouched his posture and put on an annoyed face. “It will be good for you and Josh to get to know each other better,” Donna smiled mischievously.
“Fine, we’ll see you when you get back,” he said, hating that he might not be able to work today. He knew that Donna was right. He should get to know his son better.
Donna wiped some crumbs off Nathan’s shirt from when he had eaten a bagel after she went to shower. “I should only be gone two hours.”
Nathan felt pleased with Donna’s gentle gesture and simple comment. It wasn’t because he was getting his way, but because his friend cared about him. Donna was going to be there for Nathan in a way that nobody would understand. As he smiled at Donna, she then left his penthouse, closing the door quietly. It was just Nathan and Josh for the next two hours.
After the cartoon was done, he was able to get Josh to play with some of the cars and blocks Donna had picked up at the toy store. Then they had lunch and colored. Later, Josh got tired and Nathan put him down for a nap.
Closing the bedroom door, Nathan just knew once again that everything was going to be fine, if not better. He was no longer going to worry that he couldn’t keep his son because Nathan wasn’t mentally prepared. With Donna’s help, everything would go smoothly.
Nathan looked at his watch. Donna still wasn’t back. He didn’t want to think she wasn’t coming back when Donna’s suitcase still sat by the main bathroom. Maybe he should put that in his room in case Damon showed up.
Since he was dressed and ready to go work on the house for some hours, Nathan figured he might as well see what he missed out on in Josh’s life. Would Jillian’s diary upset him? he wondered.
Nathan wanted to start a new chapter in his life. That chapter needed to be fresh and clean with no secrets. Maybe it might be good to see why Jillian lied to him. That way, Nathan could alleviate some of the guilt he carried around and felt. He would still be plagued by his parents’ death, and the harsh words he’d spoken to them prior to the accident.
Sitting down at his desk with a coffee, he took out Jillian’s diary from the drawer he hid it in. Opening the book, he noticed an envelope sleeve on the back cover of the diary. Pulling out a couple of pages, Nathan was shocked. He sipped his coffee and began reading the letter:
Nathan, you came to me the other today and told me your parents had died because you had said some nasty things to them. Then I had to tell you that I killed the baby.
I don’t know if you got my message, but that was so hard for me to do. I didn’t want to cause you any more pain, and I could see I had broken your heart. I don’t know why I got so mad at you, and why I did that. I should never have done that. It was the worst thing to do when all I wanted to do was hug you because you’d just lost your parents.
My parents brought up the fact that you lived on the wrong side of town, that you were too old for me, and that you were going nowhere. I tried to defend you because I believed you when you said you would stick by me and the baby. But then my father reminded me of the time you broke into the Mustang, and the time you got caught breaking into the principal’s office...
I had my bags packed and ready to leave, when my parents told me that if I was so adamant about having this baby and would not abort it like they suggested, that I had to end things with you in order to keep my baby. They threatened me that if I moved in with you, that Child Protective Services would take our baby away. I was so scared, Nathan.
So I listened to them, and figured you probably would grow bored of me and the baby. They were willing to support me and the baby if I ended things with you. I just couldn’t take the blame for losing the baby, so I took my parents’ advice, and I lied to you. I told you that my parents made me have an abortion. Which would have been true, but I fought for our baby.
I will be forever sorry for lying to you. I hope that maybe, one day, you will be able to forgive me for my mistake. At the time, I wasn’t sure anymore whether we would make it as good parents. So I made the decision with the full intent of running into you, at least when we were older. Maybe in our twenties and our child was much older, and I could introduce you to him or her.
I’m so sorry, Nathan. I never wanted to cause you such pain, especially after you just lost your parents. I think I will probably go to hell when I die.
Love forever, Jillian. xxxooo
Nathan looked up from the pages he was reading, and had tears in his eyes. He’d known that her parents did not like that they were dating, and that they thought low of him. He had been so upset with his father for moving them back to Canada that, yeah, he acted out. He had broken into that car, and also the principal’s office.
Granted, he had a very good reason for breaking into Mr. Smith’s office. He’d done it to get Jillian’s cell phone back. She had lent it to Nathan, and he got busted while typing her a personal, romantic poem, which would show up at eleven p.m. later that night.
He got expelled for a week, but he did get Jillian back her phone that night. She got to see his message, which earned him second base. Nathan shook his head and laughed at his stupidity because of how badly he fell for Jillian. He would have moved heaven and earth for her.
However, Jillian’s parents had misjudged him and what they did by forcing their daughter to end things with her boyfriend by deceit, was unforgivable. The threatening of their own daughter that if she left and moved in with her boyfriend—the father of her baby. That they would call Child Protective Services and have them take their baby—was cruel! In Nathan’s mind, was terrible parenting and definitely not the type of love which his parents had bestowed upon him and his sisters.
Hearing the lock to his front door click, he knew that Donna was back. He closed the diary and re-hid it. Smiling to himself, for he really enjoyed Donna’s company.
Nathan had thought they would sit on opposite ends of the couch last night to watch TV. However, Donna practically was right up against him. Once they had agreed on a movie, she had rested her body up against his chest with her head in the nook of his left arm. Donna’s feet were stretched out on the couch, and Nathan was in his favorite corner with his legs stretched out in front of him.
“Nathan, can you help me?” Donna asked, raising her voice.
He quickly went to greet her. Donna seemed to have more shopping bags with toys and food. She also had a mattress which half of it was in the entrance and in the hallway. No wonder she took more than two hours.
He went to move the little mattress into the penthouse, and then went to collect some of the grocery bags. Donna took the bags with toys to the living room, while he took the mattress to his office.
Putting the mattress up against a wall, Nathan was proud of Donna for fixing their sleeping arrangements. But as suddenly as the thought of Josh sleeping in his office came to mind, did his body temperature rise. He didn’t have a problem sleeping in the same bed as his son for the time being. But where was Donna going to sleep now?
Joining Donna in the kitchen, he helped put the groceries away. When she asked for something, he grabbed the item and handed it to her. If Donna wasn’t sure where something went, Nathan took it and showed her where he kept that item. He had a feeling she might change where things went in the kitchen, by the looks he found her sending his way every so often.
With the groceries almost all put away, he said, “I see you picked up a bed for Josh. Thank you. What do I owe you?” He leaned up against the counter.
“Oh, I still have your credit card,” Donna said as she finished putting the last item away.
With a large smile on his face and a gentle chuckle, Donna then went to dig through her purse. “No. Keep it. I have a feeling you might need it again,” Nathan said pleasantly. Pride was welling in the pit of his stomach with being able to provide for his son. He was also proud of having Donna help him; she was the only woman he could think of to fill that role. Not only did he trust her with his son, but he trusted Donna with his money.
Donna stopped digging, and looked up at him with reddened cheeks. “You can have it back...”
He stepped over to Donna, placing his hands on her shoulders. “When I need it back, I’ll ask. Did you get everything done that you wanted to do?”
He wasn’t sure why she did it, but Donna placed her hands on his hips and looked deeply into Nathan’s eyes, “Yeah. Everything is good.”
He could see the twinkle in Donna’s emerald-green eyes. He saw the pleased smile on her face, and enjoyed the warmth of her hands on his hips. This domestic situation felt right. Looking deeply into her eyes, Nathan bent down and kissed Donna on the forehead. “I’m going to go to work now. I should be back for supper.”
Stepping away from the heated moment, Nathan felt his arousal tight against his leg. Yup, need to get to work!
*****
Nathan left for work and Donna checked on Josh, who was still napping. Heading into the office, Donna plugged the charger into the wall. She also plugged Nathan’s old cell into the charger.
Donna’s morning had gone pretty well. True, there was a little hiccup, but she was pretty sure her mother wouldn’t tell Damon that she was back in town.
She left the penthouse this morning feeling like she’d slept on a rock. She was a little worried that Nathan might treat her differently due to the way she cuddled up against him last night. She’d headed to a department store to pick up a bed for Josh. Donna was glad she still had Nathan’s credit card, although she would have used her own money for Josh. After buying the bed and some more toys, she went to her mother’s house.
She knew her mom would have the charger because she’d seen her mom still using this very old model of cell phone which Nathan still had. Why he had it, she didn’t know, but she felt it was important.
Donna’s plan was to borrow the charger for a day, and then return it the next day. She was going to enter her mother’s house while her mom was at work. Except, things didn’t go as planned.
Breaking into her mother’s house was easy since Donna had a key and the alarm code. She found her mother’s charger, and after making sure the house still looked tidy and the lights were off, she headed for the front door. However, when she had the door opened and was about to set the alarm...
“Donna, what are you doing here?” Siena questioned her daughter suspiciously.
A cold shiver ran down Donna’s back, and she looked over to her mother in her uniform. “You’re not supposed to know I’m here,” she said nervously. She held the charger behind her back, with guilt written all over her face.
“Why are you here?” Siena crossed her arms under her breasts.
“I just need this charger.” Donna then showed her mother what was behind her back.
“I need that charger. It’s my charger for my phone!”
“Mom, can I just borrow it for a bit?” She gave her sweetest smile.
Donna’s mom didn’t look like she was buying it, what with her raised brow and firm glare. “You’re supposed to be in Chilliwack, working.”
“I know. And I am. I just really needed this charger,” she said, trying to get out the door and leave without giving too much away about her motives.
“Donna, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing, Mom! It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it,” she skittishly fidgeted.
“Donna! I know you. I’ve raised you alone. I’ve taken care of you for the last eighteen years. I’ve watched you go through college, and lose your son... What’s wrong?” Her mother patiently waited for Donna to spill whatever she was holding back.
“Look, Mom, I can’t tell you.” Donna started diverting her eyes from here to there so she wouldn’t break down.
“Why can’t you tell me, Donna?”
“If I told you, then more people would have to know. For right now, could you please keep my whereabouts and my being back in town a secret?” she asked of her mother.
“Donna, what are you into? What has gone wrong?” Siena looked worried.
“Nothing, Mom... I’m alive and safe. I’m healthy. Please, I’ll see you in two weeks when I’m due to come back, originally,” Donna pleaded with her mom.
“Donna, you’re scaring me,” Siena said, with a fearful look on her face, walking toward Donna.
Holding her mom’s shoulders, she said, “Mom, everything is fine. I’m happy. No worries. I’m fine, okay?” then Donna kissed her mom’s cheek and left.
As she was walking away from the house, her mother was standing in the doorway. “Donna, are you staying with Nathan?”
Donna stopped, flushed to the bone by that comment. It had come up after a couple months into their friendship that she told her mother about Nathan. Her mom supported her and didn’t have a problem with them being friends, as her brother did. She quickly looked back and gave her mother an innocent face. “Please don’t tell anyone.”
Siena Cullen smiled slightly. “Just be safe, sweetie. I won’t tell your brother or Natasha. But please be careful. You know Damon worries about you. I worry about you, and Nathan has been through a lot.”
“And I’ve also been through a lot too, Mom. Right now, we need each other,” she said strongly.
“Okay, just be safe and know I love you.” Her mother then hugged Donna since she had walked up to her.
“I love you too, Mom.” Then smiling, Donna walked away with the charger in her hand. She prayed her mother wouldn’t tell Damon about her whereabouts.
After getting the charger, Donna went to go get more groceries. It was only right since she would be staying at Nathan’s till she felt comfortable going back home.
She didn’t have a nightmare last night; she had just slept uncomfortably.
Donna wanted to feel at ease, like she did when she and Nathan were watching the movie last night. She had been lying up against him, and he had eventually draped his left arm over her shoulder. At one point during the night, Nathan had started caressing Donna’s arm. She didn’t know whether he had done it intentionally, but it felt good. She felt at peace. He made her feel safe.