Alex parked beside Billy’s Corvette in their garage. He was surprised to see Billy was home before he was. He shut the garage door behind him and entered the house. “Is there a police chief anywhere I can fuck?” He laughed and headed to his bedroom.
Billy was there, wearing just a pair of blue jeans, his cell-phone to his ear. “Okay. Well, just let me know.” He glanced at Alex.
Alex hugged Billy from behind and ran his hands down Billy’s chest to his groin.
“Okay. Thanks, Steve.” Billy tossed the phone on the night table.
“Steve?” Alex turned Billy around in his arms. “Are they picking you up tomorrow morning for Dad’s photo shoot?”
“We’ll see.”
“Can I make love to my top cop?” Alex cupped his hands over Billy’s groin.
“How did the read-through go? Is the pilot any good?”
Alex nudged Billy to sit on the bed and unbuttoned the top of Billy’s blue jeans. “Mm hm. Very good.” He pulled on Billy’s zipper to get it open. “A little help here, big fella?”
Billy raised his hips off the bed and Alex removed Billy’s jeans and briefs.
“That’s better.” Alex took Billy’s soft cock into his mouth. After sucking for a little while, Alex’s seduction was falling flat. Billy wasn’t getting hard. He leaned on his arms and looked at his man. “You got the job, right?”
“I did.”
Alex stood and undressed. “Are you getting flack from the LAPD?”
“No.”
Alex removed the lubrication from the nightstand. “Am I getting fucked by the newest top cop in Santa Monica?”
Billy reached out for him.
Alex climbed on top of Billy, and smiled as they were cock to cock, and nose to nose. “Tired?”
“Never too tired for making love to you.”
“Then?” Alex tilted his head to Billy’s lack of a hard-on.
“Nothing. Kiss me.” Billy dug his fingers into Alex’s hair and kissed him.
Alex moaned and straddled Billy’s thighs. He was hard, but just lying naked with his man gave him an erection. Alex shifted over and toyed with Billy’s dick, hoping to have it inside of him soon.
Billy rolled them over so he was on top, and Alex spread his legs wide in invitation.
Billy jerked his own cock and Alex could see him struggle.
“Hey. It’s okay,” Alex said, stopping Billy.
It obviously was not okay. Billy kept jerking off and staring at Alex; his cock, his chest, and then his eyes.
Once Billy got hard enough to make love, he grabbed the lubrication and used it on himself.
Alex wondered if Billy was simply exhausted. He was as well, but always ready for love.
Billy turned Alex over, so Alex was on his hands and knees. Alex felt confused but tried to be patient. Billy held Alex’s hips and pushed his dick against Alex’s rim.
Alex tried to see Billy from over his shoulder. Billy was jerking his dick again, as if keeping hard was a struggle. Okay. What’s going on? Alex certainly didn’t want to humiliate his husband, but Billy never had any issues getting excited, unless he was hurt, or very drunk. Though he wanted to say something, Alex waited.
Billy managed to get hard enough to screw him.
Alex lowered down to the pillows and waited for a good fucking.
Billy ran his hand up Alex’s back to his hair, holding it and slapping his hips against Alex’s bottom, but Alex could tell Billy was not fully erect.
“Fuck.”
When Billy pulled out, Alex immediately faced him and hugged him. “Hey. It’s okay. We’ll get a second wind after dinner.”
Billy appeared exhausted.
“Chief Sharpe?” Alex tried to tease him, “I’ll be in your bed all night.”
“I’m sorry.”
“What for? Cut it out.” Alex snuggled with him.
Billy relaxed on the bed with Alex in his arms. Alex tried to think. He got the job. He wasn’t being attacked by his department for quitting. What did that leave? Either the media, or…
Alex met Billy’s gaze. “What happened to Dad?”
Billy at first appeared surprised, then resolved. “He fainted at the office.”
“Let me guess. Starvation before photo-shoot.” Alex ran his finger over Billy’s nipple.
“Most likely.”
“And if he rode to the cemetery last night, and hadn’t eaten in twenty-four hours, he must have really been sapped.”
“Alex.”
“Yeah?”
“They took him to the hospital.”
Alex sat up. “For fainting?”
“He was dehydrated. Steve called to let me know.”
“And?”
“He’s home now. Mark refused to stay for more tests.”
“Fucking Dad.” Alex sighed loudly. “So, he isn’t going to model tomorrow, correct?”
“He insists he is, and Steve is obviously battling him.”
Alex shook his head. “I feel like he’s the stupid kid and I’m the dad. Man, this is getting old.”
“Alex?”
“Yeah?”
“Does your father have an eating disorder? Has he ever spoken to you about it?”
At Billy’s serious tone, Alex leaned up on his elbows to see Billy’s expression. And the chief was worried.
“No. He doesn’t really confide in me, Billy. I think you know him better than I do.”
Billy caressed Alex’s hair affectionately. “You’re so much stronger than he is.”
“He’s strong. He just handles stress differently. He takes it all on himself. And the starving? He thinks he needs to do that to look sleek and cut. Beats working out as hard as Jackie or you do.”
“Have you ever wondered if he throws up after he eats?”
Alex relaxed on Billy’s chest. “I’ve never suspected him of bulimia. No.” Alex stared at the ceiling as Billy caressed him gently. “What did they do at the hospital?”
“They gave him liquids through an intravenous tube.”
“Jesus.” Alex rubbed his face. “Why can’t he just eat?”
“That’s what I’m trying to figure out. But, you came to him when you were eighteen. It isn’t as if you grew up in his house.”
“Billy.”
“Hm?”
“My dad is really fucked up.”
Billy’s jaw tensed.
Alex snuggled against him. “Look. My fake dad and step-brothers bullied me, but no one hit me. My mom would have clobbered them.”
Billy tried to smile at Alex, but it faded.
“Dad was treated like shit by my grandparents. I have no idea what he did to deserve getting beaten up. I don’t know if it’s my place to ask.”
“It’s not.” Billy kissed him.
“And speaking of food. Are we eating?”
“Yes. How about a nice pepperoni pizza?”
“Mm!” Alex leapt on top of Billy. “Sounds perfect.”
Billy gave him an adoring smile.
Alex kissed and hugged him. But, now, he was as worried about his father as Billy was.
~
While Alex was in the bathroom, Billy picked up Alex’s cell-phone. He scrolled through the numbers, left the bedroom, and called someone on Alex’s contact list.
“Alex?”
“No. This is Billy Sharpe.”
“Captain! What can I do for you?”
Billy glanced at the bathroom door. “I wanted to thank you.”
“For what?”
“For keeping an eye on Alexander when I wasn’t there.”
A soft sound came from Jeremy. “You’re welcome.”
“What did they do to him? He’s been very vague.”
“I think they were trying to get dick pics. It didn’t seem as if they were going to sexually assault him.”
“Did they? Get the photos?” Billy could hear the sink run in the bathroom.
“No. When I found Alex he was topless, but still battling to keep his pants on. Then, once the police came, they confiscated the camera.”
Billy closed his eyes in relief. “I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you being there when… I wasn’t.”
“Hey. I’m just glad he’s okay. Is he suffering any fallout from it? We haven’t spoken since we wrapped.”
“No. Nothing obvious.”
“Good.”
Billy figured Alex was going to come out of the bathroom any moment. “I’ll let you go. I just wanted you to know how I felt.”
“I understand. Maybe I’ll see you at the film premier.”
“Most likely. Take it easy.”
“Bye.” Billy replaced Alex’s phone where he had found it, picked up his T-shirt and put it over his head, then headed to the kitchen to call for a pizza to be delivered.
~
Mark stood naked before he took a shower, looking at his left arm, where the needle had poked his vein. So far it wasn’t bruising. He was going to be topless for the photo shoot tomorrow and just the thought of going to the car manufacturing session wore him out. Mark tried to recall the contract arrangement they had made for Drew Persley. In order for Harold Parsons to get their advertising account, Mark was forced to amend his exclusive clause with Dangereux cologne. But, that was years ago. Was the contract coming up for renewal? And if so, he wanted out.
He became concerned that if he did opt out of a renewal contract, if they would pull the plug on the advertising contract, which to Harold, was worth millions.
Steve tapped the bathroom door and peeked in. “How are you feeling?”
“I was going to shower.” Mark looked at his left arm. “Do you think it will bruise?”
Steve inspected it. “I think you’ll be okay.”
“Steven?”
“Yes?”
“When is the advertising contract for Drew finished?”
Steve’s expression told Mark he knew why he was asking. “It was our standard three years. And yes, it’s coming close to being over. Do you want out?”
“Please.” Mark rested against him.
“I don’t care if Drew argues about a new contract with Parsons. I don’t want you doing it anymore. Do you want to quit modeling completely?”
Mark knew he should. The starving, the Botox, the media bashing, it was killing him. “Yes.”
“Okay. Let me see if I can find the contract. I know we sent a copy to Jack.”
“Thank you.” Mark kissed him and reached into the shower stall to turn on the water.
“Are you going to be okay? Do you want me to hang here in case you feel dizzy?”
“No. I’m fine, love. Just call Jackie. I want tomorrow to be my last car shoot.”
“You got it.” Steve walked off.
Mark stared at himself in the mirror. It was too much. He couldn’t do it any longer. He held his hand under the water in the shower and then stepped in.
~
Carl waited for a moment outside a closed door, holding the sides, which was the dialogue for a film audition he had just finished. As Adam had promised, he’d sent Carl on auditions for mainstream leading straight men.
This latest one was for a superhero in a comic-book remake. Carl was over six feet tall, was extremely fit, with dark brown hair and green eyes. He wasn’t twenty but he knew he was still attractive. The moment he walked into the room where the audition took place, he could see the looks on their faces; the director, a co-producer, the casting director, and a man who read lines with Carl. It was as if Carl was wasting their time. The roll of their eyes wasn’t discreet. Not only that. He had done one scene, not the two he had memorized. He was told, ‘Thank you. Goodbye.’ He didn’t even get a comment regarding his performance, or the niceties of a, ‘We’ll let you know’.
Was Carl crazy to believe he could play a straight superhero? As he looked around the waiting room of hopefuls, some faces he actually recognized from film, Carl knew. Adam was correct. This was an effort in futility. He had signed his own acting hit-list when he came out so long ago.
Carl threw away the paperwork and left the studio where they were having the auditions.
Outside it was warm and breezy. He held his head up high, but inside he was aching. Thoughts of calling Keith, of telling him how he felt, washed over Carl.
He made it to his car, which was parked in a pay lot. He leaned against it, and tried to get his head around the perception that an out-gay-man could not play a lead in any type of heroic straight movie role.
But he couldn’t. He had proven himself. He had won the most coveted award in Hollywood. And? Still?
To Carl, it felt as miserable as the blacklisting of stars back in the late 1950s for being suspected communists. They were actors. Didn’t that mean they could act in any role?
Yes, Adam had warned both him and Keith years ago. But Carl never truly believed it. He had stayed safe in his cocoon, his nighttime TV drama, Forever Young. He had been hired as a straight character, since he was straight at the time, and Keith, who had also been a straight man, was added to the cast as Carl’s love interest. Scene after scene of kissing Keith, holding him naked in bed, yes, they fell for each other. It was a confusing time for both of them. And they were outed by the publicity machine. Talk of ratings dropping, gossip rags insinuating they were with ‘beards’ as they dined out, paparazzi following them, pushing them to stop hiding. They finally gave in to all the pressure, against Adam’s judgment.
Keith and Carl’s marriage wasn’t hidden. They had even kissed at an award ceremony, praised at being ‘oh, so brave!’
And now?
Carl stared at the building where the auditions were being held. After all this time, Carl was sick to admit, Adam Lewis had been right. Deny, deny, deny…
In what he perceived as a blatant attitude of disgust from the crew when Carl entered that room, he wondered why he had read at all. There wasn’t a chance in hell he was going to get a role as a comic superhero, let alone a straight leading man in love with a woman. And that thought made him so angry, he didn’t know what to do about it.
If he and Keith lost their TV show, they were indeed, fucked.
Carl sat down in his car, started it, and held his phone in his hand, calling his husband.
“Hey. How did it go?”
“Not well.”
“What happened?”
“Keith…” Carl rubbed his eyes and then face. “I felt as if I grossed them out.”
“What?”
“I have never been so sick to my stomach in all my life.”
“Come home.”
“I need to think about this. I can’t wrap my head around it.”
“What can I do?”
“Turn back the fucking clock. Listen to Adam’s advice.”
“Carl…”
“I think I’m just going to walk on the beach or something.”
“Do you want company?”
“No. But thanks. I’ll be home in an hour or so.”
“Okay. Carl?”
“Yeah?”
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“See you soon.”
Carl disconnected the call and tried to let it go. But how could he? The idea that he could never get a role as a straight man in a film was insane. There wasn’t any way he could reconcile it in his mind. And the worst part was? There wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it.
“I was warned.” Carl put the car in gear and left the parking lot.
~
Josh Elliot and Tanner Cameron stood on a lifeguard tower, watching the bathers and surfers. Josh held binoculars in his hands and scanned the crowd. Since the weather was good, Friday afternoon had begun the mad beach crush.
He noticed Tanner walk closer to the ramp leading to the sand.
Josh spotted Carl Bronson, an actor friend he and Tanner had met through Mark.
Tanner extended his hand to Carl. “Hey. What brings you here?”
Josh smiled and joined his lover to greet the handsome man. “Carl!” He gave Carl a warm hug.
“Hey.” Carl appeared slightly shy, and wasn’t wearing shorts or a swimsuit. He held his shoes in his hand and was dressed in slacks and a cotton short-sleeved shirt, which he had opened in the warmth of the afternoon.
Tanner, looking fabulous in his red lifeguard bathing suit, asked Carl, “Is everything okay?”
Josh set the binoculars on the rail of the tower and grew concerned. “Is it about Mark? Because we got a text from Jack he was okay.”
Carl nodded. “Yes. As far as I know, Mark is fine. I just came for a walk to unwind.”
Tanner gestured to the tower.
The three of them walked up the ramp and Josh put the binoculars inside the little hut. They leaned on the rail and, to Josh, Carl appeared upset. They had a tight group of friends, through knowing Mark, and Carl and Keith were usually invited to celebrations.
Josh asked, “Are you unhappy over Alexander losing his show?”
“No.” Carl smiled. “Alex has a new series. I found out he was hired right after his film wrapped.”
“How did the premier go for Keith?” Tanner crossed his arms over his muscular chest.
“Meh.” Carl shrugged and leaned his arms on the railing of the tower, staring at the ocean waves.
Josh took the spot next to him, shoulder to shoulder. “Did it suck?”
“No. The film was great. But since Keith isn’t one of the A-list stars, his film didn’t really get the attention it deserved. We left early.”
“Sorry, Carl.” Tanner rested his arms on the opposite side as Carl from where Josh was standing.
“Will it be shown here in LA?” Josh asked. “I really want to see it.”
“I don’t know.”
Josh met Tanner’s look of concern behind Carl’s back.
Tanner’s attention returned to Carl. “What happened? You’re obviously unhappy.”
Josh felt his stomach tighten. Between Mark’s suicide attempts, their police friends being shot at, and the gossip media’s constant shredding of Billy, Alex, and Mark, Josh didn’t know how much more he could stand.
Carl, exhaling as if maybe he did need to unload, turned around, facing the hut and leaned his back against the rail. “I just came from an audition.”
Josh bit his lip and he met Tanner’s gaze, allowing Carl to continue.
“Adam set me up to try out for a role as a superhero.”
“Cool.” Josh smiled.
Tanner tugged on a whistle on a lanyard around his neck, and asked, “Didn’t go well?”
“No. It didn’t. The minute I walked into the room to audition, it felt to me as if they rolled their eyes and basically suffered through it.”
“What?” Josh recoiled in disbelief. “You won an award for Best Actor, Best Picture. Are they insane?”
Carl took a moment, but said, “Adam warned me years ago. Both Keith and myself. He told us if we came out, we would struggle.”
Tanner backed up so he could look Carl in the eyes. “Struggle how?”
“Getting roles as straight leading men.”
Josh choked. “Are you serious?”
“I wish I wasn’t.”
“I’m sorry, Carl.” Tanner touched his arm.
“That sucks!” Josh yelled in anger.
Carl shrugged. “I guess I never believed it.”
“So,” Tanner asked, “You’re either stuck with roles as a gay man, or nothing?”
“Looks like it.”
Josh was stunned. “That’s insane! What the hell?”
Carl ran his hand over his hair and held his shoes by his side. “I was just trying to decompress a little before going home.”
Tanner put his arm around Carl’s shoulder and shook it for comfort.
Josh had no idea what to say. The war on the LGBT community never stopped.
“I don’t want to keep you from your work.” Carl looked out over the mob on the beach. “Stay safe.”
Josh hugged and kissed Carl. “Hey. We’re here. If you and Keith want to go out for a drink, just let us know.”
“Thanks.” Carl hugged Tanner, and then gave them a small wave and a smile as he walked away.
Josh gaped his mouth in exaggeration at Tanner. “Did that really happen?”
Tanner’s gaze was on the beach and surfers.
Josh rested his shoulder against Tanner’s. “I can’t believe it.”
“Sadly, I can.”
“Tanner, it’s so unfair.”
“Nothing about life is fair, Josh.”
Josh tried to find Carl on the beach as he walked away. He was so upset for him, he felt as if he had a broken heart. “I’ll never understand it, Tanner.”
“Me neither, babe.”
Josh lost sight of Carl and went back to keeping an eye on the bathers. He hated the world at the moment; the ignorance, the gossip, the trolls…
All he and his friends ever wanted was to be treated like anyone else.
But judging by what his celebrity friends were going through? That was simply impossible.
~
After his shower, Mark did nothing but sleep.
He had broth and toast as his dinner, and took a sleeping tablet. He had asked Steve to set the alarm before he went to bed so they could get ready for what Mark hoped, was his last car manufacturing modeling shoot. With both Billy and Steve coming with him, Mark knew he’d have no issues with Drew Persley.
But he wanted out.
The week had worn him down to such an extent, Mark stayed in bed for nearly sixteen hours. When he wasn’t actually asleep, he rested. His mind, his body, and his soul, were sapped.
He noticed the box of family albums had vanished, and never enquired where Steve had stored them. He didn’t care.
He was humiliated to have fainted at work, and to top that off, he was taken out of the office by medics and transported by ambulance to the hospital. He’d have to face that mortification on Monday when he rejoined his colleagues.
During the periods when he was awake, he could hear the television on in the den. Steve watching sports most likely.
No one knocked or came to the door, and Mark was grateful. Maybe Steve had alerted everyone via text message to let him rest. Mark was hoping, once his modeling career had ended, he could get back to actually eating, like a normal person.
His doctor advised him to eat soup and light meals, like toast and eggs, oatmeal, and protein drinks, and slowly begin working his way to small portions of real food.
He had trained his body to reject what it needed to sustain him. But, Mark didn’t have the time to work out in a gym, like Jack or Billy. He and Steve usually ran after work, only three miles, and on weekends, ten. It was enough for him to maintain his sleek appearance. He enjoyed the running, except in the heat, and had intentions of resuming it. Once, he recovered.
Mark glanced at the clock on their nightstand. It was close to midnight.
He stood, headed to the bathroom to relieve himself, and then took another sleeping tablet. Just as he was getting back to bed, Steve entered the bedroom.
Mark crawled under the sheets and watched him as he undressed. Steve entered the master bathroom and Mark glanced at his nightstand wondering if he was up to making love to Steve.
A few moments later, Steve emerged from the bathroom, shutting off the lights around them, and double-checking the alarm clock. He then, climbed into the bed with Mark.
Mark faced him and smiled. “Hullo.”
“How are you feeling?”
“Knackered.”
“Did you sleep?”
“On and off. I took another tablet just now.”
Steve caressed Mark’s hair. “I spoke to Jack. He does have a copy of your contract and yes, it’s up for renewal. He’s writing up a formal document of resignation.”
“Thank you, love.” Mark stared into Steve’s bright blue eyes. “I should be all right for tomorrow.”
“Your color is a lot better.”
“I don’t feel quite as dizzy.”
“You ate soup and toast. You did well.”
Mark gave him a silly smile. He snuggled up and used his fingers to tease Steve’s nipple. “I think I took on too much. You know.”
Steve snaked his arm under Mark and pulled him closer.
“The working full time with you, and the two modeling accounts. That, plus, life in the public eye, well…”
“I know. I’m hoping once you give up the modeling, everything will die down.”
“I’m hoping that as well.” Mark rested his head on Steve’s shoulder. “I don’t think I have ever been this tired.”
“That little jaunt you did on the motorcycle didn’t help.”
“Actually. It did. Mentally. Yes, it wore me out physically, but, would you believe me if I told you I now feel detached from all of it?”
“From all of what?”
“My parents. Their lives. Or should I say, their deaths.”
“I hear what you’re saying. But don’t be surprised if it sneaks in to haunt you.”
“I know. I’m also a realist, lovely.” Mark ran his hand down Steve’s chest to his crotch. “But, with Mum’s death, and the end of any attachment to Richfield International, I want to put an end date on the suffering.”
“That’s probably the healthiest thing I’ve ever heard you say.”
“And without my shrink,” Mark teased, “How about that?”
Steve chuckled and hugged Mark. “I’m proud of you.”
Mark toyed with Steve’s cock, feeling it becoming hard with his touch. “Thank you, Steven.” Mark ran the tips of his fingers up Steve’s length. “Things aren’t so bad, are they? Alexander has a new TV series, our captain is now going to be a chief. I mean, what do we have to complain about?”
“Not a lot.”
“Precisely.” Mark squeezed Steve’s erection in his palm. “Oh, that feels so lovely.”
“Yes. It does.” Steve brushed the hair back from Mark’s forehead.
“Shall I suck it?” Mark licked Steve’s nipple.
“Are you up to it?”
“I wouldn’t offer if I wasn’t.”
“And I would never say no to a blowjob from you.”
“Mm.” Mark kissed him and then inched down on the bed. He felt Steve spreading his legs, and bending his knees.
Mark made his way between Steve’s thighs and sank his cock into his mouth.
“Ohfuck… Richfield, that mouth of yours.”
Mark wetted his finger and massaged Steve’s rim. Steve’s cock grew harder and Mark tasted his pre-cum. He closed his eyes and worked both hands in tandem with his mouth, wetting Steve’s dick and using the moisture to jerk it into his mouth.
He could feel Steve’s body tense right before he came. Mark moaned and pushed his finger deeper into Steve’s ass.
“Fuck!” Steve climaxed, arching his back and digging his heels into the mattress.
Mark milked him gently and the tried to wipe off his saliva with his hand. He inched back up, poking his head out of the sheet.
Steve was recuperating, holding his chest and panting for air.
“Was it a good one?”
“Get the fuck over here.” Steve dragged Mark into his arms and kissed him.
Mark hummed happily and then nestled in Steve’s arms.
“I adore you, Richfield.”
“You are very welcome, copper.” Mark smiled.
Steve went completely limp on the bed, and fell deeply asleep. Mark held onto him, knowing the sleeping pill would help him nod off. He pressed his ear against Steve’s chest and closed his eyes, allowing the beat of Steve’s heart to lull him back to sleep.